A NOTE FROM DESMOND IS AMAZING'S MOM:
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Okay, so I hope that the 150+ people who have left a one star rating and nasty comments on this page feel really, really BIG about themselves. Pat yourself on the back. You succeeded in hurting my child and me. You win. Great job. You had your laugh. You got noticed and it must have felt really fine. I also commend you in being clever enough to get me banned from my own page and Desmond's page for 24 hours so you could spread hatred all over it.
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But you know what you really accomplished? You cut into my son's heart like knives. He was so proud of his 5 star rating. Something that means nothing to anyone but him. It meant something to him. Do you feel like a better person for making a child cry? Do you? Do you realize that you are hurting not only another human being that has the same feelings as you, that bleeds the same color that you do, that has favorite foods, TV shows, and music the same as you do, that has dreams for their future, but you are hurting a child. A CHILD.
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A FEW WORDS, IF YOU CAN READ THIS FAR PAST YOUR PRIDE AND GLOATING:
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First of all, why would you do this as a grown adult to a 10-year old child? Does it make you feel good to pick on a kid, just because they are different? Just because they don't fit into YOUR values, YOUR morals, YOUR interpretation of religion, YOUR ways of parenting, YOUR political beliefs, YOUR lifestyle???
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My son is hurting NO one. My family is hurting NO one. We do not bother you. We do not tell you how to parent. We do not tell you what to believe in. We do not post political ideas or agendas. Besides the public articles and videos Desmond appears in, we personally do not go out of our way to bother anyone. We rarely post anything more than Desmond's own photos and videos on his Facebook page. We do not go on your pages, your forums, your videos, your profiles, etc. and degrade you. We do not push an agenda or anything else on you. We do not make wild accusations about what you do with your life. I have no idea what this "political agenda" is that I am apparently forcing upon people. I am neither a registered Democrat or Republican, and have never been, nor am I particularly active in any political group or ideology. My political beliefs are my own and I don't feel I need to convince anyone of anything.
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If you have sat and watched one of Desmond's videos that you did not like, that is on YOU and YOU alone. You read the description of the video, you pressed play, you watched it and in all your anger for what you did, you chose to lash out at a child??? What kind of people are you? No, not us. We cannot understand this behavior. We believe in live and let live. I am aware that we will encounter hate no matter what we do. There will always be people who disagree no matter how you live your life. I am also aware, as is Desmond, that for every hater out there, there is someone out there that you can make smile. And there are people out there that Desmond can connect with that will make him feel less different in a society that still very much disagrees with who he is. PEOPLE. LIKE. YOU.
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We have never revealed this to the public in any interview, article, or video, but I feel this is the time, due to the nastiness and scope of the attack we received and continue to receive. Desmond is on the autism spectrum. For those that don't know, autism spectrum disorder impacts the nervous system. The range and severity of symptoms can vary widely. Common symptoms include difficulty with communication, difficulty with social interactions, obsessive interests, and repetitive behaviors. So, go ahead and make fun of him, call him mentally ill, say he looks drugged, call him slow, call him ugly, say he looks like he has AIDS, say he is an abomination, call him cancer, say he looks malnourished, and whatever else you people always feel the need to post all over the internet. Make yourself feel like a better person because you shame someone for something that they cannot help if that is what you need to do.
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But at the end of the day, this 10-year old boy has been able to overcome his disorder's symptoms and behavior issues and become successful in pursuing his interests. He likes dressing up, dance, voguing, and fashion design. HOW ARE THOSE INTERESTS HURTING YOU??? Please, someone explain that to me. Frankly speaking, it takes most people until their adulthood to figure out how to live with any disorder or disease. Desmond feels most focused and comfortable when he is designing his outfits and dressing up. It helps his autism and helps keep his behavior under control, which means he has a high quality of life right now. If it helps with the autism and hurts no one around him, why is this so wrong? How is this criminal? How is this bad parenting? We are as normal as you. All we want is the best for Desmond, as you would if your child had a disorder or a disease, especially one that can limit to what degree he is able to live his life.
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I am letting Desmond explore his interests and I support him in doing so. The benefit is better than the consequence. Not only is it a part of normal childhood development for children to have interests, but as a parent, any parent, you will be inclined to supervise and be there for your child to guide them thru those interests, whether it is dressing up, playing with dolls, toy trains, football, whatever. Play is play no matter what form it comes in. And, just to let you know, Desmond has more "boy" gender assigned toys than "girl" gender assigned toys, he goes to the playground, and rather than play sports, he enjoys dance instead. Healthy, everyday kid. He takes medication which speeds up his metabolism and that combined with an active lifestyle, keeps him on the slim side.
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Futher, whatever you people really imagine is going on in our household is just ridiculous. It's comedy to read what you say most of the time. Desmond likes dressing like a girl, so what? How is that sexualizing him or abusing him? Only you seem to see it as sexual. I see a plain old 10-year old boy in a dress. Also, how is that promoting pedophilia? Explain it to me please. If there is a pedophile anywhere, they will go for whatever child they can most easily attack whether it is mine or yours. It is proven that, for one, most pedophiles are heterosexual, and two, they go for the weakest children, the kids who keep their heads down, the ones who beg for attention and love because they get it nowhere else. That isn't Desmond at all. He is being raised with unconditional love, has been treated as an intelligent individual, and has been told every day of his life that he is a worthy person in this world, no matter what. He is self-confident,
smart, and self-aware. Desmond constantly has a parent with him at all times, is supervised, and he only attends family friendly or all ages events. He is a happy and well-adjusted child. So where does that leave your kids?
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Desmond is not transgender. No one is pumping him with hormones or forcing a gender on him. He fully identifies as a boy who likes to dress up like a girl on occasion. Days will go by where he doesn't even dress up at all. Most days, he looks like any other 10-year old boy. The media and videos he participates in would like you to believe that he dresses up 24/7, but that is not true. It is a hobby for him, something that he enjoys doing when he wants to, same as playing with his toy subway cars, or doing his crossword puzzles.
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And yes, Desmond does think that he is gay. He has had crushes on boys that he has told me about since about first grade. In imagining his future, he would like a boyfriend someday. Alright. Is that really so bad? There have been people of all identities and all sexual orientations on this earth since the beginning of time. It even occurs with animals and in nature. Does he ever talk about sex? No. Do we talk to him about sex? No. It isn't appropriate. He hasn't even reached puberty for crying out loud. I am, beyond a doubt, disturbed by how many people think he is sexualized. It's disgusting that so many people see a child this way. It speaks volumes about our society and what we watch, listen to, idolize, model our livestyles after. Has he been molested? Absolutely not. Will he still think he is gay in two years? four? ten? Science would tell you, most likely he will. Whatever happens is fine with me. Desmond has been focusing some of his energy on advocating for the LGBTQ community and that focus also helps him with his autism. He realizes that, he enjoys it, and it also pays karma back in that it is also helping others. What do you do to help others?
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The important thing is that at least I never made him feel like he was unwanted or an abomination. I have not damaged my child in any way or form. I AM NOT A CHILD ABUSER. With guidance and boundaries, he is learning and growing as an individual, not a replica of me, of a religious community, of a political belief, of societies popular views, or of a celebrity. So tell me what you would do. Am I to break his spirit so far that he grows to either resent me or to destroy himself? Am I to be upset because I likely won't have grandchildren or pass on my genes? Certainly not. I am not a selfish person. His life is his own to have, not mine. I am actually rather embarrassingly shy, personally dislike being in Desmond's spotlight, so to speak, and I enjoy just reading or learning about history and WWII. I do not have my son's ambitions. I have refused more times than not to even be on camera with my son because I am too much of an introvert and too reluctant with stage fright. I'm just as humble and average as the next person. You couldn't pick me out of a crowd if you tried, and I hope that scares. the. shit. out. of. you.
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We (my husband and I, yes, contrary to what you all incorrectly believe, I am not a single mother and my husband lives under the same roof) are simply trying to parent the best way we know how, given what we were given. At the end of the day, we go to bed knowing that we love our children and they love us. We teach them to love others, to be fair, have compassion, to believe in themselves, and most of all, to have patience. My kids never have to hide anything from me and they both know that no question they ask me will be considered of little importance. They know that we will always be there for them and will support them in what they want to do. We will not punish or beat our children, humiliate them, or reject them because we disagree with their self expression. We will not react in anger against our children because we are afraid of what other adults might think of us and our child's personal style or interests. If they want to dress the way they want, why not? I have explained to them that others may stare or comment and then they can make the decision about what to wear. What it comes down to is if you feel that you are being true to who you are when you dress the way you do, then the problem is not with you, the problem is with those that choose to judge you. Are the clothes we choose to put on our bodies really worth hurting others over? If so, we have a lot of work to do towards humanity.
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Now, let's ask the question...what about your kids? Would you like it if I attacked your kids and cyber bullied them? Would you like it if I posted derogatory public comments about the way your child looks and acts? Would you like if I slandered you across your child's page? Said that you are mentally ill, a child abuser, and should go to jail. I'm sure you wouldn't. But you know what? I can't even imagine being so low and miserable that I would feel the need to do that. I cannot even imagine what that would accomplish or how I could gain even any self-fulfillment or joy from doing it. I don't even know how I would be able to look at myself in the mirror as a human being if I said hurtful things to a child. But what do I know, right? I'm just some mother out there who a good number of people have chosen to illustrate as a villain and whore. But what I do know is this: It is because of harassment from people like YOU that cause our youth to commit suicide. YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. People who bully are the atrocity, not people like my son. You know what is truly disgusting? People who say, "BURN IT WITH FIRE!" to a kid. People really need to mind their own business and take a good long hard look at their own families and their own parenting.
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Lastly, this page was made as a positive place that my son could come to interact with others like himself and something my son could spend time on as a family - just like a scrapbook. Really, that's all it is. We don't gain any monetary value from it, we only gain family time, and Desmond has made friends and enjoys those who support him. He likes to post his photos and videos. He likes to read his page, helps with the posts, and reacts to the comments. You felt the need to take something beautiful, positive, and something that was created with love and spew your foul and hateful opinions, and threats, all over his page - calling him an abomination, saying he is horrific, a victim of abuse, that he is sexualized, that he is going to be punished by God, that his parents should go to jail, be beat up, or killed. And unfortunately, I was busy doing something last night and wasn't paying 100% attention when he looked over at his page already up on my laptop. HE SAW YOUR COMMENTS. We were preparing to work together on his page and before I could finish one task, in his excitement and anxiousness to do so, he looked at his page. He brought it to my attention that he thought something bad was going on on his page. I do not allow him to roam the internet on his own and he is supervised while using his social media. All messages are read and all comments are checked before he is allowed to see anything. Saying that I push him out on to the internet for personal gain is stupid. Gain for me? The benefit is for him - he has made friends his age all around the world that are just the same way that he is. There are now thousands of people in his life that make him feel special in a world filled with disgusting, hateful people like you. So, how do you think that made him feel to see grown adults saying things that shouldn't ever be said to or about a child? How does that make you feel? What kind of sick person are you to derive joy at insulting others, that you really know nothing about? Do you not realize that other people have feelings and are trying to survive day to day in this mixed up world same as you? How would it make your own child feel if it happened to them? I'm sure I don't agree with your parenting style, but I don't feel any need to bash you on it, because frankly, it's none of my business what you do with your children. Oh that's right. You don't care because you disagree with our lifestyle, so that makes all of your actions the only correct actions and it invalidates us as fellow human beings. In my opinion, and I'm sure a lot of people will agree with me, YOU ARE THE CHILD ABUSER in this situation. YOU ARE THE MENTALLY ILL one who gets a thrill from hurting others. YOU ARE THE SICK PERSON who says they will beat your kid if they were like Desmond. YOU ARE THE ONE PUSHING THEIR BELIEFS ON MY FAMILY. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO CAME INTO MY SPACE - I DID NOT GO INTO YOURS. YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. THIS IS YOUR LAST DESPERATE GASP IN THIS WORLD THAT IS CHANGING ALL AROUND YOU. YOU ARE THE ONE DENYING THAT SEXUALIZATION OF A MINOR HAPPENS TO CHILDREN MORE IN A HETEROSEXUAL ENVIRONMENT. JUST LOOK AT YOUR CHURCHES, YOUR TV SHOWS, YOUR MOVIES, YOUR MUSIC'S LYRICS, YOUR FORUMS, YOUR RELATIONSHIPS, EVEN YOUR OWN FAMILIES IN SOME CASES, FOR AN EXAMPLE.
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You know, this year has been extremely difficult. And now this grand show of cruelty against a child, my son, has really hit me hard. I am upset, I am angry, and I am at a loss. It's been so, so hard. I am unemployed and have had trouble reentering the workplace because there is too much competition for jobs, especially this time of year. I am qualified, and have 15+ years of experience, but so do thousands of other applicants. It doesn't help when potential employers can Google you and see the kind of filth openly up for display that you people post. My good name has been slandered and dragged thru the mud and we suffer. You don't just hurt feelings when you attack people online, you can also hurt their ability to make a living. And these things live on the internet forever. We DO NOT make money from the interviews, videos, and photos that Desmond does. We do them because he wants to do them. We do not force him. He has declined to do assignments because he didn't want to at the time or did not agree with the concept. This belief that we are somehow doing all of this for money is absurd. We are poor. Very poor. After paying rent, we usually have about $200 to last the whole month to cover any bills and food. We have used up both of our 401ks just trying to survive. We have borrowed embarrassing amounts of money from extended family. This year, there won't even be a Christmas at our house because we can't afford it. Desmond said "It's okay, Santa will bring me something!" and it breaks my heart because he won't, he can't. My older daughter is fortunately an adult already and has the benefit of understanding our situation. She is trying to buy the gifts this year with her own college money and I feel so ashamed because I have always worked and provided for my kids.
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Yet, despite all of this, and despite the attacks of hate, we still stick together as a family, remain positive, still hold to our values of love yourself and others, and still support our children, giving of them all that we have to give. We go without so they can have. I have sacrificed most of my own wardrobe to create Desmond's outfits that he comes up with, so he has something nice to wear for his photos and events. If he wants a pink outfit, I will use my last pink t-shirt to make it. My happiness doesn't matter as long as my kids are happy. I skip meals so food can last longer and Desmond can eat enough. Having no job this time of the year when you have kids is no joke. It's pathetic and sad and throughout you just have to keep your head up and not let your kids see you cry or stress. To have something happen, like happened last night and throughout the day was really the cherry on the cake. You broke my ability to be strong and not cry. I couldn't sleep and I cried for hours. Hooray for you. I hope you accomplished whatever it is you wanted to do. I can't understand why a person would feel joy at hurting someone else. I find THAT to be abusive.
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I want to especially thank the couple of people who said they called CPS. Thanks alot. I'm just so glad I will have people come trample my house to interogate me, my husband, and Desmond. It scares him every single time you people do this. Can you imagine a stranger coming to your house to interogate you and your parents when you have done nothing wrong? And every single time, CPS finds nothing wrong and commends us on our parenting. You don't get it do you? Allowing your son to wear a dress is NOT child abuse. All you accomplish is wasting CPS's time when they could be addressing a very real problem that exists: people who beat their children and turn them out on the streets because they don't accept them.
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I hope you all have a very happy holidays.
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Your hateful world that you people live in is an ugly, disgraceful, disrespectful, and evil place and I am glad that to you, I have NO part in it.
