Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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"professional" movie critic has no idea why studios will embargo shit films until they release and do tons of critics screenings for films they know will get great reviews. You can argue that reviews don't really matter but the hollywood studios clearly think they do.
Well to Bob, he only thinks his reviews matter. He thinks his reviews are culturally significant. Though in reality, he’s shitty at them.

I honestly don't think reviewers are paid off. I think the issue is that the relationship between nerd culture and the media is so incestious that you don't really need to bribe anyone, Bob is an absolute fanboy and his attempts to critique reflect that-why would marvel bribe bob when he does it for free?

anybody who thinks last jedi is a 10/10 film or describes the movie as 'great' rather than 'good' is either lying, desensitised by the sheer quality of total shit they have to watch or is grossly unqualified. Even if you like it, we're talking a 7/10 fun action romp here. It isnt The Godfather, it isnt Gladiator, it isnt Alien, it isnt even the Terminator. The only way this sort of
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occurs is if you've got people who grew up with star wars while failing to grow up.
The actual critics genrally said the film was 'alright', which is the correct response because a film with fucking porg scenes.. Bob isnt an actual critic.
In the realm of legendary sequels like Dark Knight, T2, Aliens, Godfather Part 2, and ESB, Last Jedi is definitely not among them.
 
I'm going to :optimistic: (we know Bob reads this thread sometimes) try to explain to him why his explanation supports the conspiracy instead of debunking it.

Bob, the reason critics are prone to being paid off is exactly BECAUSE they don't make much money, BECAUSE no one pays attention to them. Someone who is rich has no incentive to take a bribe, but someone living hand to mouth has every incentive to take a bribe if it keeps the debt collectors away for a few more months.

Likewise, the reason a non-woke Star Wars knock off hasn't appeared is because gatekeepers in production, criticism, and distribution conspired to keep those who would make such a film out of the industry or buried so the public doesn't know about them. Remember how Hardcore Henry was smeared on release and was shown at cinemas for all of 5 minutes? Remember how Ghostbusters 3 was stonewalled for years until old cast started to die off and be replaced with wamyns?

As for the critics being "out of touch". Bob, you talked about this in your review of The Kings Speech so you know what you're saying is bullshit. Critics are out of touch because they'd rather promote shitty movies with the right "message" or "politics" instead of quality or entertainment. Critics jerking each other off about Black Panther when virtually everyone I know who saw it said it was mediocre is an example of that.

As for the various gates occupying all of our head space. :story:
You're the one still REEEing about gamergate in 2018. You're the one that has #RehireJamesGunn in your name despite him getting another job. You're the one that spent a wedding tweeting about Trump.

To really hit this point home, let's just look at the audience vs critic reaction to The Last Jedi.
Screen Shot 2018-10-02 at 12.20.59 PM.png


Let's also compare Venom since Bob sperged so heavily about it this year.
Screen Shot 2018-12-19 at 10.37.20 AM.png
 
To really hit this point home, let's just look at the audience vs critic reaction to The Last Jedi.
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Let's also compare Venom since Bob sperged so heavily about it this year.
View attachment 618288
Venom and Bohemian Rhapsody are two examples to why 2018 is the year where we were reminded that audiences liking is more relevant than critics liking. I mean, those two were movies people liked and it made a ton of money.
 
I'm going to :optimistic: (we know Bob reads this thread sometimes) try to explain to him why his explanation supports the conspiracy instead of debunking it.

Bob, the reason critics are prone to being paid off is exactly BECAUSE they don't make much money, BECAUSE no one pays attention to them. Someone who is rich has no incentive to take a bribe, but someone living hand to mouth has every incentive to take a bribe if it keeps the debt collectors away for a few more months.

Likewise, the reason a non-woke Star Wars knock off hasn't appeared is because gatekeepers in production, criticism, and distribution conspired to keep those who would make such a film out of the industry or buried so the public doesn't know about them. Remember how Hardcore Henry was smeared on release and was shown at cinemas for all of 5 minutes? Remember how Ghostbusters 3 was stonewalled for years until old cast started to die off and be replaced with wamyns?

As for the critics being "out of touch". Bob, you talked about this in your review of The Kings Speech so you know what you're saying is bullshit. Critics are out of touch because they'd rather promote shitty movies with the right "message" or "politics" instead of quality or entertainment. Critics jerking each other off about Black Panther when virtually everyone I know who saw it said it was mediocre is an example of that.

As for the various gates occupying all of our head space. :story:
You're the one still REEEing about gamergate in 2018. You're the one that has #RehireJamesGunn in your name despite him getting another job. You're the one that spent a wedding tweeting about Trump.
Though if you want a pass or fail marker for dumb blockbuster movie critics, just look at how they describe Black Panther. If they don't know about Wakanda just being where some super metal landed and instead describe some "BLACKS ARE THE UBERMENSCH" shit then it's clear they already lost their attention 3 minutes in.

I know it's a dead horse and I'd accept being proven wrong but that "Africa had colonization never happened" plot that every critic was describing is still a notable mass delusion. I've never seen someone say that and then describe the actual events of the movie, just "representation" and other twitter shit. It's like their brain shuts off once they see black people.
 
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Though if you want a pass or fail marker for dumb blockbuster movie critics, just look at how they describe Black Panther. If they don't know about Wakanda just being where some super metal landed and instead describe some "BLACKS ARE THE UBERMENSCH" shit then it's clear they already lost their attention 3 minutes in.

I know it's a dead horse and I'd accept being proven wrong but that "Africa had colonization never happened" plot that every critic was describing is still a notable mass delusion. I've never seen someone say that and then describe the actual events of the movie, just "representation" and other twitter shit. It's like their brain shuts off once they see black people.
If Blank Panther was a movie about Africa if colonization never happened, then we'd be in fucking Ethiopia instead of Wakanda.
 
If Blank Panther was a movie about Africa if colonization never happened, then we'd be in fucking Ethiopia instead of Wakanda.
No, Africans can make ray guns and shit, dummy. They just can't do it while white devils like you are watching. It's all there in some obscure holy book written 10 thousands years ago in some Asian country.
 
Sperging about the new Hellboy movie because he didn’t get a third one from del Toro.

View attachment 618461

I kind of agree with Bob here. The trailer makes the new film look like shit, especially in comparison with the GDT films. I really enjoyed his two films and was let down that he wouldn't ultimately complete a third film.

That being said I'll still give the new film a chance to please me, which is more than Bob will. He's likely also pissed because anti-Trump sperg Ron Perlman isn't reprising his role as the title character.
 
I'm going to :optimistic: (we know Bob reads this thread sometimes) try to explain to him why his explanation supports the conspiracy instead of debunking it.

Bob, the reason critics are prone to being paid off is exactly BECAUSE they don't make much money, BECAUSE no one pays attention to them. Someone who is rich has no incentive to take a bribe, but someone living hand to mouth has every incentive to take a bribe if it keeps the debt collectors away for a few more months.

Likewise, the reason a non-woke Star Wars knock off hasn't appeared is because gatekeepers in production, criticism, and distribution conspired to keep those who would make such a film out of the industry or buried so the public doesn't know about them. Remember how Hardcore Henry was smeared on release and was shown at cinemas for all of 5 minutes? Remember how Ghostbusters 3 was stonewalled for years until old cast started to die off and be replaced with wamyns?

As for the critics being "out of touch". Bob, you talked about this in your review of The Kings Speech so you know what you're saying is bullshit. Critics are out of touch because they'd rather promote shitty movies with the right "message" or "politics" instead of quality or entertainment. Critics jerking each other off about Black Panther when virtually everyone I know who saw it said it was mediocre is an example of that.

As for the various gates occupying all of our head space. :story:
You're the one still REEEing about gamergate in 2018. You're the one that has #RehireJamesGunn in your name despite him getting another job. You're the one that spent a wedding tweeting about Trump.

Non-Woke Star Wars Knick offs HAVE appeared, and did quite well. Starting in 1979. Battlestar Galactica was quite literally a Star Wars knock off of The Book of Mormon. It doesn’t get more non-Woke than that. And they hired Lucas’s out of work FX people to make it. Buck Rogers was a similarly non Woke Mormon made successful Star Wars knock off. Heck one of the biggest and longest worldwide toy licenses is of a non Woke Star Wars rip-off. Gundam.

That’s what always grates in me with Bob, more than anything else. The slightest examination of anything he says shows his complete and utter ignorance of every topic he proclaims to be an expert in. Every time without fail. He’s like a fucking cartoon character.
 
Bob, Hillary would’ve done the bland shit as Obama. Also, please pay attention to what’s happening to Macron, who I’m convinced is the French Hillary.
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Do people like this really honestly believe that there would be a perfect utopia of a government if Hillary was in office?

Really?

Do they not realize that government shutdowns happen here about as often as government collapses in the EU? Do they not realize that the republican party still exists and that there's a significant amount of disconnect within the democratic party?

Do they not realize that there would still be trillions of dollars in deficit?

Are they really this fucking ignorant?
 
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