TGWTG Tony Goldmark / "Some Jerk with A Camera" - Some Jerk with a Trust Fund

FatFuckFrank said:
You also forgot: Bill Hicks was funny
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People loved Bill Hicks too. There's a reason why he is still considered one of the best stand up comics. He was so great, a guy almost wholesale ripped off his act and became a big time Hollywood sellout.

When Tony finally dies of a heart attack at the age of 38. No one except maybe, MAYBE, immediate family will ever give a fuck.
 
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Honestly, I wish someone could reanimate the corpses of Bill Hicks, Richard Pryor, Don Rickles, Gene Wilder, Chris Farley, and George Carlin back from the dead to show asshats like Tony Goldmark what real humor should've been. People like Lena Dunham, Stephen Colbert, Amy Schumer, Jimmy Kimmel, John Oliver, Samantha Bee, Trevor Noah, Seth Meyers, Larry Wilmore, Kathy Griffin, Rachel Maddow, Patton Oswalt, and many other NPC Wojaks are the reasons why comedy is falling in ashes.

It's sad that I used to enjoy Tony's work back in the decade--and much like MovieBob, Quinton, AniMat, Jello, Crash Thompson, Lindsay Ellis--they use "orange man bad" and also get defensive towards criticism thus screech in autistic agony.

Currently, I consider Defunctland a Chad theme park reviewer while Tony Goldmark will always be a virgin.
 
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Goldmark will change his opinions on a dime to fit the current narrative he's defending. For instance Tony has gone on about how theming is important at Disney and how it sets Disney apart from other theme parks (which I agree with) however, when Disney was switching Tower of Terror into Guardian of the Galaxy Tony mocked Disney fans who were upset about the change and made fun of the fact people were upset the theme was changing and that "It's the same ride who cares about the theme" . He then went on to say every Disney attraction ever was a "half assed cash grab" when a Facebook commenter said that about the Guardians Project. My personal favorite instance is how Goldmark has gone on and on about how men are these awful creatures but then turned around and DEFENDED one of his idols when he got caught cheating on his wife. Tony claimed the idol just had a sexual preference he didn't tell his wife about and then went on to say he wouldn't care if he got cheated on when they were dating because it would be selfish and said: "what's wrong with them having a little fun". He is the definition of a fucking loser and worse he lowkey admitted to being a cuck.
 
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He's produced a whopping twelve videos in the last twelve months, 6 of them were movie reviews, mostly childrens movies, 1 was a "hilarious" rant about Trump in the Hall of Presidents at Disney World which is just a rehash of a tantrum he had a couple of years ago, 1 was his frankly embarrassing whine about being photobombed when he's filming without permission, wherein he got fucking owned by one of the guys in the background in the comments, 3 were low effort "news" segments talking in to camera and there was a whole single video reviewing an actual ride.

This is what Phony Coldnark does in lieu of having a real job or contributing to society in any meaningful way, instead he constantly posts reaction gifs on twitter and throws a massive tantrum if everybody there doesn't treat him with the sufficient deference he delusively believes he deserves. In conclusion Greasy Foldsnark is a lazy, useless worm of a man who has all the wit and charisma of the carcass of rotting road kill and probably smells just as bad.
 
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Keep Yourself Safe said:
This is what Phony Coldnark does in lieu of having a real job or contributing to society in any meaningful way, instead he constantly posts reaction gifs on twitter and throws a massive tantrum if everybody there doesn't treat him with the sufficient deference he delusively believes he deserves. In conclusion Greasy Foldsnark is a lazy, useless worm of a man who has all the wit and charisma of the carcass of rotting road kill and probably smells just as bad.
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He's pond scum, plus he's so boring you easily summarized his entire life of the past two months. He's not even a very good lolcow. Even Bob Chimpman has more interesting output and all he does is eat cheeseburgers and bitch about Trump on Twitter.
 
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AnOminous said:
Wasn't that shit a couple years ago? Who cares now?
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They recently changed the wench auction scene in Disneyland. I believe the scene in the Disney World version has either not been changed yet, or they changed it a couple years ago. However, there has been a lot of sperging in the Disney Park community between people who believe that since Disneyland was the only park Walt actually spent time in and made all the decisions, and that Pirates was the last ride completed before he passed on, that it should remain unchanged (despite several changes to the ride since Walt died), other fans who believe that it's just Disney pandering to the SJW special snowflakes, and the SJW special snowflake fans who think everyone is a LITERAL NAZI if they don't embrace the scene changing as being brave and empowering (the redheaded wench is now one of the pirates and has dialog) and just the best thing ever, ever. Then there's the normal, non-mongoloid fans who are like "oh, they changed the ride a little? Um...OK. *shrugs*"

I can't bring myself to watch Skidmark's video's anymore because I can't stand his obnoxious voice, unfunny schtick, or his fat Aspie face surrounded by his long, greasy thinning hair, but I'd bet my tax return that he's firmly in the "brave and empowering" special snowflake SJW crowd.
 
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https://twitter.com/tonygoldmark/status/1098687223182966784
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Goldmark is so fucking mad that a gay black man wasn't almost lynched it's sickening
 
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AnOminous said:
Yeah, seriously. Who cares? It is pretty weird to have a sex slave auction in a ride for children anyway, even if they don't explicitly make it that.
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Eh, things were different when the ride was originally built. Back then people didn't lose their fucking minds and demand that aspects of history be removed for being "problematic and offensive". It was just something that happened and we should be able to look back on it without throwing childish tantrums until it's removed because we personally find it offensive or tasteless. It doesn't mean Disney condones or promotes that kind of behavior.

But these days there are immature, easily offended people who demand to be sheltered from anything that upsets their delicate feelings. It doesn't matter if its presented in a historical context, doesn't matter if it's being presented as the unacceptable behavior, it must be removed to protect an overly sensitive, easily butthurt minority because Allah forbid they deal with it like mature adults or even practice their freedom to choose and not ride. No, they must be sheltered from it like small children from a scary movie.

I'm a fan of the Disney parks and I'm fine with changes and updates to the attractions, so them changing the wench auction doesn't bother me. But I do believe acquiescing to these SJW mongs is a slippery slope. If people keep giving them what they want, then where does it end? When everyone's right to choose has been completely stripped from them? When everything is so white washed and sugar coated they lose all meaning? What gives them the authority to dictate what's acceptable for everyone else? That shit is what upsets me. If change happens organically, then that's perfectly fine. If its forced because some whiny special snowflakes can't cope like grown-ass adults, then fuck that noise.
 
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Squidernerd said:
Hey there, I archived some of Tony's recent rant about how his fans aren't helpful to him, how no one watches his videos, and how he is worse off now, and all because his computer won't accept his camera or SD card anymore.

Enjoy: https://archive.fo/iAxnM
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Let's all feel sorry for the rich kid who never worked a real job in his life because people don't care about his shitty videos any more.
 
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