DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[JackDavis]

Has Philomena shown much enthusiasm for the game at all?

Of course. It's a single player AAA sequel.

We should also take into consideration how many times he'll get stuck on some puzzles

When was the last time he's been stuck on something that streamchat couldn't help him out with? Long gone are the days where he would go to gamefaqs and he figured out he had to use the Bat Line Launcher himself and not being able to crouch jump (stupid game, you're supposed to jump then crouch, it's named wrong, it's not my fault).

 

[Dr.Chill]

I have a feeling he'll skip the B Scenarios and roll out a standard DSPism like "People aren't showing for the hot new release streams because they're obviously all busy playing the game themselves!"

Also seeing how normal mode has unlimited saves and the harder modes have ink ribbons i'm sure Philbert is going to skip the hard mode.

 

[BallBuster]

There actually are, but the "B scenarios" only differ slightly from the A ones.

From what I read they are just some kind of condensed versions of what the other character was doing. Doesn’t seem like a full scenario.

 

[TheGoutinator]

Of course. It's a single player AAA sequel. Long gone are the days where he would go to gamefaqs and he figured out he had to use the Bat Line Launcher himself.

What? He said he took a shower and he figured it out in the shower. There's no reason not to believe him.

 

[ReentryPhantom]

Of course. It's a single player AAA sequel.



When was the last time he's been stuck on something that streamchat couldn't help him out with? Long gone are the days where he would go to gamefaqs and he figured out he had to use the Bat Line Launcher himself and not being able to crouch jump (stupid game, you're supposed to jump then crouch, it's named wrong, it's not my fault).

Whatever that yarn game was. He was stuck on a puzzle for around an hour if I recall, and had to look up the solution on a YouTube video.

 

[Fuckyoudad]

Also seeing how normal mode has unlimited saves and the harder modes have ink ribbons i'm sure Philbert is going to skip the hard mode.

Yeah I think I'm going for hard mode myself to get that authentic italian sauce experience of limited saves. Just can't decide whether to go with new or classic music. If DSP follows chat asking him to do it he'll start throwing a bitchfit after his first handful of deaths and lay the blame on them for his daily diminishing self worth. So I expect he'll skip it.

I realized there wondering about his "enthusiasm" was a bit of a misnomer, since even if he appears excited now it's obviously more reliant on tasty bits than any of the entertainment products he's about to schlep his way through. Plus even at his most manic it always seems to wear off quite quickly these days as he remembers he doesn't actually want to have to do this or anything for the money. Just give him his $200 already and let him go assume the burst couch pose on his actual non-burst couch.

Whatever that yarn game was. He was stuck on a puzzle for around an hour if I recall, and had to look up the solution on a YouTube video.

Yeah Unravel 2 it was.

 

[The tired cat]

Well, having just watched a review of an early release, yeah even on the so called "easy" difficulty the game can still kick your ass. So, I can imagine Phill getting his shit pushed in fast and that's not even getting into Mr.X chasing your ass Nemesis style.

 

[neger psykolog]

If you're going to talk about DSP and scrubs, you should talk about the research paper in which he prominently featured (yes, DSP's scrub-level is actually empirically documented/researched):

DarksydePhil research paper:
DSP tries it: Being so salty at video games that you get mentioned in a fucking research paper.
http://www.normsu.com/papers/Su-SFIV-CSCW10.pdf

It also includes a screenshot of "The Bad Loser Wall of Shame". Unfortunately at the time DSP wasn't on the list, but he has his own article on the site http://thebadloserswallofshame.blogspot.nl/2009/07/darksydephil-is-scrub-volume-2.html)

​

Not only that the paper was the subject of a conference

Unfortunately I can't find video of the event, but I can only imagine a bunch of old, grey haired academics sitting around using empirical evidence to confirm that phil is a scientifically confirmed scrub.

(lol phil's living room is more of an "intimate quarters" than anyone elses

 

[ZehnBoat]

fucking lol
imagine being such a scrub, it can be scientifically proven

also that bit with the "tournament rules"
enforcing rules that don't exist
that WAS mentioned in that how not to be a scrub book

 

[Stalker Sociopath]

fucking lol
imagine being such a scrub, it can be scientifically proven

also that bit with the "tournament rules"
enforcing rules that don't exist
that WAS mentioned in that how not to be a scrub book

I love how Phil still brings up "tournament rules" when he hasn't been in a tournament in over 10 years. What a scrub

 

[neger psykolog]

fucking lol
imagine being such a scrub, it can be scientifically proven

also that bit with the "tournament rules"
enforcing rules that don't exist
that WAS mentioned in that how not to be a scrub book

Is it worse to be empirically documented as being a scrub or to have your post-cummies face plastered all over trash tabloids across the world? I'm not exaggerating by saying his cummies face was plastered all over the internet from countries as far as Czechoslovakia, Poland, the United Cuckdom, China, the USA and probably a dozen other countries.

(all this and other media mentions of DSP are in this thread: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/media-mentions-of-darksydephil.36226/)

Or is it even "worser" to have your snorting documented by The Sun. Not only is your snorting mentioned, but regarded as being less attractive than your forever-remembered orgasm face:
"After making a snorting sound which is somehow even less attractive than his previous antics, things get even worse for the gamer as it dawns on him what he's just done."

I'm not exaggerating either, its written in the article:

I really do not think CWC or any other premium access lolcow have been documented by British tabloids like The Sun to the extend DarksydePhil has. You might think his orgasm face is memorable, but keep in mind this was probably printed 1.8 million times.

If anyone has access to a physical copy of DarksydePhil's orgasm face, printed in British trash tabloids, please share this fantastic history for all to enjoy.
(I'm not certain it was physically printed or a web-only expose on his cummies, but it may have been printed, and seeing a photo of his cummies face on a newspaper would we worth its weight in gold--0.0627 pounds (says Quora) meaning it would be worth about 61.846026 UK£ for the pages where DSP's cummies face exists)

Also please, if you ever encounter DSP being mentioned in the wild (prominent newspapers, twitters, websites, videos, stream) make sure to archive and share at his media mentions thread on KF: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/media-mentions-of-darksydephil.36226/

 

[Nurse Ratchet]

So for some ungodly reason that shit head tervin is still streaming random dark clips, and I’m tuning in and out and look over at the screen and notice darks fucking beard....wtf is this shit? It looks like someone took a buzzer to one spot then gave up, he tries passing this shit off as white hair....

Could those patches be the result of him.. actually shaving (I doubt plucking; too much concentration/physical exertion) the gray hairs that are now surely sprouting out of his face?

 

[Sparkletor]

Phil blames the trolls for him losing sponsorship opportunities and that's why he needs money. Let's pretend these deals weren't ruined, what kind of money would he be taking in?

Spawn seats or OPSeats, he was going to get a $10 kickback when somebody bought a chair using his link. How many people would realistically be buying $300 gaming chairs from these guys because Phil said so? He said he had less than 50 sales all year from his teesprings. His hard core viewership is approximately 300 - 500 people. If every single one of them bought a chair he would have an extra $5000 max. He claims he needs $16,000. So even with this sponsorship deal he would still be $11,000 in the hole.

He claims he lost out on Twitch bounties. If he got $100 a pop to do one of these a week, he would need to do 110 bounties to make up that $11k.

Trolls did not put Phil in this financial situation.

 

[gaarashatan]

I love how Phil still brings up "tournament rules" when he hasn't been in a tournament in over 10 years. What a scrub

remember when he said he was moving to washington for lots of things, one including being close to the tournament scene and hell start attending them

 

[actually]

He claims he lost out on Twitch bounties. If he got $100 a pop to do one of these a week, he would need to do 110 bounties to make up that $11k.

From what I've seen and read, Twitch bounties can be fairly lucrative, even for small streamers. I wouldn't be surprised, for instance, if Phil's AC: Odyssey bounty stream netted him $200-$300. I'm assuming he hasn't done a ton of Twitch bounties because 1) he's small-time for Twitch and 2) he has a hard-on for not doing anything on PC, where many of the bounties (again, from what I've seen others claim) are found.

 

[Commander Keen]

Could those patches be the result of him.. actually shaving (I doubt plucking; too much concentration/physical exertion) the gray hairs that are now surely sprouting out of his face?

Doubtful. DSP seems the type who would dye his hair. Maybe he already is.

 

[BallBuster]

Phil blames the trolls for him losing sponsorship opportunities and that's why he needs money. Let's pretend these deals weren't ruined, what kind of money would he be taking in?

Spawn seats or OPSeats, he was going to get a $10 kickback when somebody bought a chair using his link. How many people would realistically be buying $300 gaming chairs from these guys because Phil said so? He said he had less than 50 sales all year from his teesprings. His hard core viewership is approximately 300 - 500 people. If every single one of them bought a chair he would have an extra $5000 max. He claims he needs $16,000. So even with this sponsorship deal he would still be $11,000 in the hole.

He claims he lost out on Twitch bounties. If he got $100 a pop to do one of these a week, he would need to do 110 bounties to make up that $11k.

Trolls did not put Phil in this financial situation.

If anything, will the amount of troll tips and cheers he gets, id assume trolls make up 10% of his profit.

 

[neger psykolog]

If anything, will the amount of troll tips and cheers he gets, id assume trolls make up 10% of his profit.

My opinion:

• Detractors: 25%
• Trolls: 25%
• People pretending to be fans or supporters so they can detract/troll detractors and trolls: 49.00001%
• Actual fans: less than 0.00000001%

Even Swagginz did a "LOOK HERE, LISTEN" chat message yesterday (a reference to Wings of Redemption) proving they're familiar with references that encompass people like DSP or Wings of Redemption and that they're only there for the sake of having a front row seat to the fireworks.

Even if you can comprehend that DSP's "gameplay" holds no value, meaning the "work" he does in the form of playing/editing/uploading is of no substance in the present year (maybe raw vidya videos where worth something in 2005 but they're not anymore) he's also a person who places a negative value on rewarding his fans and supporters. DSP is even worse than WoR, CWC or anyone else in terms of understanding why its important to do an event about every month for free, just so that your name is out there in the world and that people know who you are.

I can understand financial pressure, but I can't really understand a content creator dependent on fan support who would repeatedly choose to defecate on their fans expectations and do things like disable GTA: Vice City music just so they can get an additional 20 cents per upload.

There is no way that DSP has any real fans left at this point, bearing in mind he is:

• a person who has talked shit enough to make Machinima staff issue statements countering his version of events (yes, there are statements from Machinima staff about DarksydePhil's bitching from years ago)
• a person who has talked shit enough to make members of the press issue statements countering his version of events (yes, there's a gaming journalist who took issue with DSP saying this journalist agreed his detractors are "mentally ill" and issue a public statement and recording to show it was wrong)
• a person who has talked shit enough to make former friends/acquaintances issue public statements countering his version of events (John Rambo)
• a person who has talked shit enough just about their exgf's hospital stay that they solely created a discussion on mental health and ended up with their gf leaving them (this isn't proven, but its comprehensible)
• a person who has talked shit enough about their own parents and a fucking Wolverine plastic toy, that their words have had such a lasting effect that their Wolverine toy is still mentioned a decade later
• a person who has talked shit enough about other streamers and content creators that he created a shitstorm involving managerial staff from companies like Twitch, Blizzard, Ubisoft, EA, Epic Games, Polygon & numerous Twitch affiliates and streamers
• a person who has done enough to make two entire forum mod teams quit
• a person who has been despicable enough to inspire the creation of an entire "team" of autists who were only known for their disparaging discussions of DSP (Sons of Kojima)
• a person who has been despicable enough to make the Bronsgeests use a fake escort persona to try and "expose" him for ebegging (their aims in this regard are already well documented, just read up on it, they repeatedly mentioned their goal of trying to stop DSP from ebegging)
• a person who has managed to turn away his biggest supporters like BSV through talking shit or inability to step in at simple times and make sure things are peaceful
• a person who has been documented as attempting to subvert the rules and standards set within online content (like asking users to click on advertisements)
• a person who has been used as a "case study" at Twitch for the lengths autists will go to when spamming/reporting content and creating false accounts.
• a person who has outwardly shown their material wealth in the form of leased BMWs or the ownership of vidya statues and has simultaneously complained about their financial obligation.*
• a person who has cried about YouTube's demonetization (a widely documented and understandable phenomena) while also refusing to do anything for fan service or refusing to look for a job or experiment with YouTube alternatives.
• a person who, far previous to their YouTube/Twitch popularity, was already widely held in contempt by a large proportion of the FGC (fighting game community)
• a person who regularly depends on his viewers for instructions regarding games and still talks shit about them afterwards.
• a person who frequently disparages viewers who attempt to provide instructions or advice towards his games or life experiences but still relies on them in situations.
• a person who had been fired/discounted/excluded from multiple jobs and opportunities (even if we don't know the specifics, we can use his other experiences in life to indicate what were likely breaking points for his stable employment)
• a person who has repeatedly talked smack about Machinima, YouTube and other companies... despite having no remotely-accurate comprehension of how they operate (at a wider level) and despite being completely dependent upon their inner workings for his paychecks chose to talk shit

DSP's "true" fans, people like Amityville or Swagginz, inspire curiosity or outright hostility from outsiders who cannot comprehend their genuineness. DSP's existence runs so contrary to the norms of what people (including autists) attach to the character of a fan-dependent content creator, that people like Amityville's TKOH posting actually causes a dramatic level of discussion.

Historically speaking, leaving aside furries like KGhaleon, Amityville has generated what can be called a large level of discussion on this subforum. This discussion of Amityville isn't usually aimed at genuine analysis of Amityville's views, rather, it seems the aim of people engaging in discussion is to try and prove one way or another whether a user like Amityville, in the face of the many controversial elements of DSP, is included in either of the two following camps:

• Is someone like Amityville/Swagginz just a deep level troll, or....
• Is someone like Amityville/Swagginz actually so lacking in instinct that they legitimately spend their time and money backing DarksydePhil?

I gather that many people think there are actual paypigs, and I concede that some of his supporters might be genuine (this mainly considers sources like Patreon) but I refuse to believe the majority of post-Twitch paypigs aren't actually deep-level attempts at either trolling or eliciting private information from DSP.

Even if you believe one of his paypigs is genuine, they you arguably accept they can hold no real comprehension of DSPs financial situation. This means they'd have to be completely ignorant that any payments made to DSP only actually service something other than the DSP's belly, but really act to service the payments that DSP is required to make towards the government and various creditors.

Even if you choose to partly believe DSP when it comes to taxes or "I did nothing wrong" and even if you choose to sympathize with his explanations of the world when it comes to governments, banks and insurance policies, an autist in particular would be able to spot that 90% of his income is actually going towards bank repayments:
(my autistic analysis from October 2017)

Face it, Phil is the banks favorite kind of customer. Revolving debt, credit card debt, home mortgage debt, car loan debt. Phil has it all, and even if it is 90% of his expenditure, it has to be a significantly high amount. He's not fully drowning just yet, but his head is bobbing just above the water. Why on earth would any bank extend a loan to Phil for that car he bought a few months ago? Because they know they can get more out of him.

In the face of evidence proving DSP is certainly socially irredeemable, its easier to entertain and accept people like Swagginz or Amityville aren't actually paypigs and explained simply by being either deep level trolls or those trying to remain impartial while still holding access to preferential information which works to support or oppose ideals either formed by the world or from their own idealistic understanding of the world's greatest lolcow.

In summary, it is far easier to blindly accept an autist investing years maintaining a deep-level persona, just for entertainment. I do not think people like Amityville of Swagginz actually desire an end game but just hand around so they have the best seats for the mythical date on which DSP's mansion is visited by the repo-men who are in possession of a court order allowing them to take ownership of his loveseat, live-in girlfriend and harddrives holding quality kahntent.

While I don't hope this happens for the purposes of a human experiencing harm, I hope that if it happens it takes place during a live stream and that DSP tries to ignore the repo-men walking back and forth with his possessions while he still has to react to and give shout outs to Tips and Bitch ears.

I hope that if this ever happens we see the repo-men, at their final action, come up to DSP and ask politely for his headset and controller, and we get to witness to a genuinely "interactive" stream where the SWAT team are genuinely called because DSP spergs out.

(I also hope that if this somehow happens, people send Tips and Bitch ears mentioning the repo-men walking around his "office" and we get an official "detractor meme" explanation from the gout lord)

 

[Cyber Bowling]

On the subject of Twitch bounties, one of the smaller streamers I watch (averages around 150-200 viewers) has been doing bounties fairly regularly the last few weeks. He did mention you have to claim them pretty quickly at one point, so I'm wondering if it is just a case of Phil not wanting to put in any effort versus not having access to them.

 

[Haunter]

When was the last time he's been stuck on something that streamchat couldn't help him out with? Long gone are the days where he would go to gamefaqs and he figured out he had to use the Bat Line Launcher himself and not being able to crouch jump (stupid game, you're supposed to jump then crouch, it's named wrong, it's not my fault).

Spoiler: In defense of the presence of Stream Chat

I understand wishing for a return of the old days, before Phil's adoption of Stream Chat, Face Cam, and "Interaction". It was before he was burnt out and had given up all pretense of credibility, when he still had some youthful energy to devote to his displays of psychopathy. However, the inclusion of these desperate attempts at relevancy bring their own advantages to us voyeurs:

-Even with the presence of hand-holders offering live help, Phil continues to be stuck on problems, to "face-tank", "fail-cheese" and just thoughtlessly stumble his way through obstacles. For example: during Eternal Darkness Aug. 2018, he forgot a basic game mechanic a mere 10 minutes after the game explained to him. He got stuck on a puzzle, and raged: "Never explained it 7 hours in".

-Even with the presence of hand-holders offering live help, Phil continues to rely on guides like GameFAQs. For example: during Silent Hill 2 HD Jul. 2018, he paused the game to read a walkthrough on his phone. He doesn't just cut the recording as he used to with his camcorder. Incredibly, he now does this live, on camera (Face Cam), and includes it in his upload to Youtube.

-Any help offered to Phil is a lost cause. Even when given needed information, like in the Eternal Darkness playthrough, he forgets it. More, he attacks the sources of his help. Chat's inclusion here is a juicy bonus for us voyeurs that was unavailable during Phil's more youthful, live-help-free days. He attacks his fans, those in chat, for helping him. He did this as early as yesterday's Dark Souls Remastered Jan. 2019. To quote @Comma's summary:

"Get's advice from someone in chat.
Scorns the dood for being WRONG and blind.
Whole chat telling him it's DSP who's wrong and blind.
DSP discovers the advice was actually correct.
Blames chat, saying "no one" gives him correct information and that he wants to give up.
Realizes he's being a toxic cunt, tries to make it into a joke but fails miserably and only succeeds in making the moment even more awkward than it already was."

Stream Chat, Face Cam, and "Interaction" (and the more recent adoption of his "Whoreboard") all go hand-in-hand. They are Post-Filthy-Rich Phil. They were all adopted, despite Phil's previous derision, to more and more completely mimic the financially successful streamers. Each of these have brought their own juicy bonuses:

-It goes without saying that without Phil's adoption of the Face Cam, we wouldn't have had "The Incident". It's also given us his strange mannerisms, like the "T-Pose", strange rocking, finger-sniffing, etc.

-Phil's chat has created an opportunity for attention seeking, spasmatic weirdos, such as Swagginz, Sidella, etc., giving us these "side characters". More, Twitch's "Bits" offer the attention seekers a strange incentive. tutankhumannn's rise and fall would have been impossible without the attention whoring, Bit spammed "interaction" offered by the presence of Stream Chat.

(As always, apologies for the essay )