Containment What If?

Ian Brandon Something said:
Spells are EXPENSIVE.
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Have you seen what new age shops charge for some of that crap? The last thing he needs is to start blowing his eBay money on crystals and daggers. Lego is a relatively cost-effective way to dabble in the occult.
Morbid Boredom said:
You used two important words there, "books" and "shops". Chris doesn't want to drive out of town to buy a specialty book, then read something so abstract. His current method of sympathetic magic uses Lego, which he already owns and enjoys.
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Between his mixing of the primitive (sympathetic magic) and the modern (Lego, comics), and his focus on icons that have personal meaning to him (Sonic, as opposed to Zeus or whatever), Chris actually has a decent claim to being a practicing Chaos Magician. Or at least a decent chance of faking it on the internet.

This obviously goes on the List of Things No One Should Ever Tell Chris.
 
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What if Chris paid for the services of one of those high-end matchmaking services, so he didn't have to approach a girl or even risk getting rejected when asking for a date? Like the kind you see advertised in airplane magazines such as It's Just Lunch.

It would be funny to see the matchmaker stressing about what the hell to do after taking his money.
 
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Holdek said:
What if Chris paid for the services of one of those high-end matchmaking services, so he didn't have to approach a girl or even risk getting rejected when asking for a date? Like the kind you see advertised in airplane magazines such as It's Just Lunch.

It would be funny to see the matchmaker stressing about what the hell to do after taking his money.
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I searched for "It's Just Lunch", this came up in the first page.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/28/y...f-romance-but-settling-for-a-refund.html?_r=0http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/28/y...f-romance-but-settling-for-a-refund.html?_r=0

Much like with the sperm banks, no one would want what he's offering. He has a leg to stand on, here, since his money's green (if hypothetical). They'd probably put him on a few dates, refund the other client or give them a few free months of service by way of apology.

Edited: There is fun to be had here: a comprehensive service could charge for some sort of consultation, sell him clothes that flatter and give him advice he won't take. And now I need to see "Hello, Dolly!"
 
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I might be mistaken, but dating services that get paid to find a match sometimes just hire an escort to go on a date with the otherwise unmatchable person.

So In Chris case that wouldn't even be the worst of decisions (if you ignore the fact it would be rather costly). They'd get him a hooker and he could live in a small precious bubble where he went on a date with the help of some 'trusted service'.
 
DykesDykesChina said:
What if Chris had watched Bob Ross's painting show on TV from an early age?

Would the art style in Sonichu be much different/better? Would the comic include lots of trees and mountainous backdrops?
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"So this is um, the moment when Sonic collides with Pikachu, yeah."


cotton+ball+painting+3.jpg

Stud2Stud said:
I might be mistaken, but dating services that get paid to find a match sometimes just hire an escort to go on a date with the otherwise unmatchable person.
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No, you'd be about right. Anyone who stands to make a profit off of matching people up with dates will do whatever they can to ensure that they get butts in seats. Heck, even the Millionaire Matchmaker got caught hiring escorts to flesh out their stable of women for TV episodes.
 
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Meeko said:
No, you'd be about right. Anyone who stands to make a profit off of matching people up with dates will do whatever they can to ensure that they get butts in seats. Heck, even the Millionaire Matchmaker got caught hiring escorts to flesh out their stable of women for TV episodes.
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And that sort of dating agency has been used as a cover for high end escort agencies for a really long time, you are paying for a single match a month if you take that date an end up having sex well that's just "chemistry" if you go on 12 dates a year it's just finding the right person. One of the oldest excuses in the book, also the worst ones take real customers match them up with the next mark of another gender an charge the more, if they don't twig they up sell too an if the guy is scuzzy enough they are not beyond setting up citizenship marriages.
 
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CharlieBrowns said:
What if Chris had been born a girl?
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She would be a pseudo-MRA, hang out only with dudes and she would start a comic about Francine Stripe-Cheer. I agree with what people said about the less likely to have autism part, but she would still be naive due to her upbringing.
 
CharlieBrowns said:
What if Chris had been born a girl?
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If the neckbeard brigade discovered a real live girl who loves Sanic and Polkamen, they'd all be tripping over their dicks to praise her terrible comic and make her their own personal Sailor Megtune. She-Chris would still end up with an ED page, but it would look more like Boxxy's (or Pear-chan's haha Chris is fat) than the page he has now.
Apocalypso said:
What if Chris was a train?
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hYbl2.jpg
 
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