Gross Anna Johnson / The Fit Vegan Ginger / Creation Nutrition / Anna's Organics Lynchburg - Jesus Freak, orthorexic, creator of vegan food monstrosities, munches to avoid getting a job

[Dysnomia]

My guess is she dumped a can of pumpkin puree into the bowl and added a bunch of tumeric and maybe cinnamon to make it a "curry" (alternatively she added a bunch of expensive fake "curry" powder you can get in specialty stores that's basically all tumeric anyways), grabbed a small amount of spinach then opened a can of sardines and put exactly one in (bonus points if the sardines aren't preserved in oil), and nuked it just long enough to still be cold in the middle but at least the spinach is "wilted" then added sliced egg on top
Now she can claim lots of nutrients from the vegetables, a meat, and protein. Never mind how little nutrition it actually has even if she did eat the whole disgusting mess

With the way Anna uses turmeric I think we can all agree that the taste was something no mortal tongue should ever experience. Not even the damned in Hell deserve that.

The way you describe it all makes it sound like the skelly version of a drunken frat boy dinner.

 

[Burn Book]

In non-food related news, Anna has started a new semester - the las one, apparently. Forgive the lack of screenshots, but since 2 days ago we had the following uni-related instastories:

- a "you know you have a great time, if nobody is taking selfies" repost, with an extra comment from Anna that it's sooo true and that's what her first day of the new semester was like! I don't know if she's trying to fool people into thinking that she's actually going to real classes, and not just taking online courses, or if she doesn't realize that the original post was talking about social gatherings,
- her listing all 5 or 6 classes she takes, all of them about psychology, but assuring us that she's still working on her PhD as well,
- Anna saying that she already has 3 essays to write (...after the first day of classes? isn't that usually just syllabus and stuff?)
- a zoom on a perfectly average looking book with a comment from Anna saying I HAD TO READ ALL THIS

 

[Candidae]

In non-food related news, Anna has started a new semester - the las one, apparently. Forgive the lack of screenshots, but since 2 days ago we had the following uni-related instastories:

- a "you know you have a great time, if nobody is taking selfies" repost, with an extra comment from Anna that it's sooo true and that's what her first day of the new semester was like! I don't know if she's trying to fool people into thinking that she's actually going to real classes, and not just taking online courses, or if she doesn't realize that the original post was talking about social gatherings,
- her listing all 5 or 6 classes she takes, all of them about psychology, but assuring us that she's still working on her PhD as well,
- Anna saying that she already has 3 essays to write (...after the first day of classes? isn't that usually just syllabus and stuff?)
- a zoom on a perfectly average looking book with a comment from Anna saying I HAD TO READ ALL THIS

Maybe things are different in the United States but you can't just take 6 classes at any university I've seen and you need to specifically apply to take 5 instead of the usual 4 (this one seems more possible but it's still odd to me).
Also maybe the essays are just things in the syllabus to do in the future like a midterm and final project but she's treating it like she's going to be writing 3 essays a week instead of being given like 2 months to write a paper (granted if you want yours to be well done you'll need those months)

 

[She Brings The Rain]

Maybe things are different in the United States but you can't just take 6 classes at any university I've seen and you need to specifically apply to take 5 instead of the usual 4 (this one seems more possible but it's still odd to me).
Also maybe the essays are just things in the syllabus to do in the future like a midterm and final project but she's treating it like she's going to be writing 3 essays a week instead of being given like 2 months to write a paper (granted if you want yours to be well done you'll need those months)

Classes here are based on credit hours, not sheer number of classes. I think the average is about sixteen credit hours, with classes typically being three credit hours/course (as well as one or six credit courses being used for padding if you have to meet a full time requirement for scholarship reasons) , and you have to get the okay from the University Dean before you can have over ~20 hours (can't remember the exact number).

So, if Anna is taking six three hour courses, that'd put her right at eighteen credit hours, which is a little over the average, but not the incredible feat she acts like it is, especially since we know these are all online courses.

 

[AnOminous]

My guess is she dumped a can of pumpkin puree into the bowl and added a bunch of tumeric and maybe cinnamon to make it a "curry" (alternatively she added a bunch of expensive fake "curry" powder you can get in specialty stores that's basically all tumeric anyways), grabbed a small amount of spinach then opened a can of sardines and put exactly one in (bonus points if the sardines aren't preserved in oil), and nuked it just long enough to still be cold in the middle but at least the spinach is "wilted" then added sliced egg on top
Now she can claim lots of nutrients from the vegetables, a meat, and protein. Never mind how little nutrition it actually has even if she did eat the whole disgusting mess

She probably added enough sardines to stink up the place, possibly because her mom commented on the horrible stench, so she passive aggressively made up some health bullshit about why she totally needed fish and now stinks up the kitchen with these repulsive concoctions every day.

It's not like she eats any of this shit.

 

[MasterDisaster]

It's not like she eats any of this shit.

Even if she did it'd just be blasting right back out of her at warp speed.

 

[multiverse]

My guess is she dumped a can of pumpkin puree into the bowl and added a bunch of tumeric and maybe cinnamon to make it a "curry" (alternatively she added a bunch of expensive fake "curry" powder you can get in specialty stores that's basically all tumeric anyways),

Not quite. Recall her cookbook: the only spice she uses in excess is cinnamon; and then only substance in plenty is stevia.

Anything "curried" included one quarter teaspoon of Mccormick's "curry powder", and nothing else. The "curried pumpkin" will have been canned pumpkin with roughly this amount of Mccormick's.

She has never actually used turmeric as a spice on its own. She buys a bone broth protein powder that has turmeric in it, and she takes turmeric as a supplement in pill form.

 

[simulated goat]

Then recall that the cooking was done in the microwave, and vomit.

The nuke is the equivalent of circumambulating widdershins while muttering 'cthulu ftagn'. Don't try this at home, kids.

 

[Dysnomia]

In non-food related news, Anna has started a new semester - the las one, apparently. Forgive the lack of screenshots, but since 2 days ago we had the following uni-related instastories:

- a "you know you have a great time, if nobody is taking selfies" repost, with an extra comment from Anna that it's sooo true and that's what her first day of the new semester was like! I don't know if she's trying to fool people into thinking that she's actually going to real classes, and not just taking online courses, or if she doesn't realize that the original post was talking about social gatherings,
- her listing all 5 or 6 classes she takes, all of them about psychology, but assuring us that she's still working on her PhD as well,
- Anna saying that she already has 3 essays to write (...after the first day of classes? isn't that usually just syllabus and stuff?)
- a zoom on a perfectly average looking book with a comment from Anna saying I HAD TO READ ALL THIS

I never took online classes so I'm not sure how they work. But I assume that like traditional classes the first day is orientation and going over the syllabus. It's just too hectic on the first day of a new semester to start bogging people down with massive amounts of homework. Plenty of students don't even know where the hell they are going.

I don't believe she has three essays to write. Her syllabus may have mentioned x amount of essays that will be expected and Anna hasn't even had a chance to learn the material yet because it's the first day. But she wants her fans to think she's a busy student laying in her bed dying of CF while spooning mold powder sludge into her mouth.

Does she mean she didn't take any selfies at home? Because I seriously doubt she showed up to any irl campus for any reason.

Now she's going to be like any typical excruciatingly obnoxious psychology student who thinks they are ready to diagnose you because they are a few weeks into Psychology 101.

You didn't have to read the whole book Anna. In fact, you were probably told not to skip ahead because the material needs to be gone over in a certain order. I remember we'd skip around a lot in some classes. But that was due to the way the lesson plan went. You didn't just read a book back to front in one night and go "done! I know everything!"

Anna has zero idea how real college works because she takes worthless online courses picked out to make herself look like she's going to be a professional. This is all busywork to please the Earth 'rents and make her fans and h8ters think she is doing something with her life. This isn't her last semester of anything. She's going to be doing this stuff for years to come. Because she has nothing else to do with herself and she knows deep down she'll never be fit to counsel a houseplant let alone a human being.

The cookbook thing failed because her recipes are disgusting skelly monstrosities. And she's no longer raw vegan so she lost some nutty vegan fans. I'm surprised she doesn't just make Christian themed doodads on Etsy. That's more honest than pretending to go for a PhD, Anna.

Not quite. Recall her cookbook: the only spice she uses in excess is cinnamon; and then only substance in plenty is stevia.

Anything "curried" included one quarter teaspoon of Mccormick's "curry powder", and nothing else. The "curried pumpkin" will have been canned pumpkin with roughly this amount of Mccormick's.

She has never actually used turmeric as a spice on its own. She buys a bone broth protein powder that has turmeric in it, and she takes turmeric as a supplement in pill form.

I asked Google about the dangers of taking large amounts or turmeric:

According to Consultant Nutritionist Dr. Rupali Dutta, “Although consuming turmeric or haldi in its natural form promotes health, but excess of it can cause an upset stomach, nausea and dizziness. Especially, if you take turmeric capsules or supplements in high amounts, it can prove to be detrimental to your health.

Interesting. Maybe she's using it to make herself sick considering just how much she's taking in.

 

[Sebben Crudele]

The canned pumpkin fascination is weird to me. One would think a health nut wouldn't like canned food, with it being so high in sodium, having preservatives, etc. But she doesn't seem to mind showing her followers that she "uses" and "eats" it regularly.

 

[Candidae]

The canned pumpkin fascination is weird to me. One would think a health nut wouldn't like canned food, with it being so high in sodium, having preservatives, etc. But she doesn't seem to mind showing her followers that she "uses" and "eats" it regularly.

Because chopping veggies is haaaard
(Granted I can't blame her on the pumpkin front but like you said, she shouldn't even be considering canned pumpkin as an option)
You'd think one of the biggest traits of a nutritionist or dietitian is that they can cook tasty, healthy meals and will take the time and effort to make them but not our Anna(rexic)

 

[one_time_user]

Re canned pumpkin - in the dog owner world it's considered practically a miracle food. have a fat dog that can't exercise more to lose weight? replace a portion of their food with canned pumpkin. got a dog that needs to poop but can't or has anal gland issues? canned pumpkin. got a dog that can't stop pooping? canned pumpkin.

 

[Bees]

Goddamn dogs are gross.

 

[Digital Thunder]

Goddamn dogs are gross.

At least dogs can be excused for doing the stupid shit they do, unlike the brain-addled charlatan we know.

 

[Questionable Ceviche]

I never took online classes so I'm not sure how they work. But I assume that like traditional classes the first day is orientation and going over the syllabus. It's just too hectic on the first day of a new semester to start bogging people down with massive amounts of homework. Plenty of students don't even know where the hell they are going.

I don't believe she has three essays to write. Her syllabus may have mentioned x amount of essays that will be expected and Anna hasn't even had a chance to learn the material yet because it's the first day. But she wants her fans to think she's a busy student laying in her bed dying of CF while spooning mold powder sludge into her mouth.

Some professors do assign papers on the first day. The situation of having to do multiple assignments on the first day isn't inherently unreasonable. The real issue is that Anna lies about everything, constantly, so we have no way of knowing if what she says is true or not.

Online classes frequently require what are basically forum posts and responses to other students based on a topic set by the professor. She may be blowing this minimal amount of busywork out of proportion by saying it's a paper. It's part of her performance of "look how sick I am, but I'm still so much better than all of you."

 

[multiverse]

Anna takes another inspirational selfie as a widdle uwu 12 year old girl as she explains that she determined to "take her life back" from pretend CF, only to have her hopes all dashed as her starved body gets weaker. But them she remembered daddy God! Girl, you never shut up about him. I simply do not believe you when you say your faith strayed. I believe you cheated on the meal plan you agreed to with your parents, which is different from losing faith in God. That's just you being a shitty person.

And if she thinks you're supposed to poke fish inside their tanks, I truly pity any fish Anna has ever owned. Those analogies, yikes.


She made "healthy" spinach artichoke dip. Let's guess the ingredients! My guesses are: contains greek yogurt, vinegar and dijon mustard for sure.


And how right was I? Dude, this dip is supposed to be served hot, or at least warm. It's supposed to be cheesy and bubbling and baked until it has a tiny crust on the edges.

This is yogurt which is going to curdle the second you add vinegar to it; watery frozen spinach with no instructions to drain it; and a single tablespoon of the lowest fat calories cheese there is. All "dumped" in a bowl cold. Wow, so yummers Anna. Cold canned artichokes, soggy defrosted spinach and curdled yogurt. With mustard!


Edit: for reference, this is a normal ingredient list and method for this dip. Anna's uses the same amount of spinach as a dip intended to serve 10, is missing mayo and cream cheese, and even for a one person serving, Anna's doesn't have enough cheese in it to make the melty dip consistency. Hers will be a bowl of watery canned and frozen veg with curdled yogurt and mustard on it.

 

[FitBitch]

Some professors do assign papers on the first day. The situation of having to do multiple assignments on the first day isn't inherently unreasonable.

Student here, second semester and taking English Comp 1010 can confirm a first day paper was expected so my professor could get an idea of the class' s skill level. Doesn't mean Anna's telling the truth but it's not out of the ordinary. However, complaining about how demanding a class is when it was probably a first day two page reflection essay....She can't swing a real Phd in that case. She'd fall apart if asked to do an 80 page clinical study.

 

[Whatthefuck]

Student here, second semester and taking English Comp 1010 can confirm a first day paper was expected so my professor could get an idea of the class' s skill level. Doesn't mean Anna's telling the truth but it's not out of the ordinary. However, complaining about how demanding a class is when it was probably a first day two page reflection essay....She can't swing a real Phd in that case. She'd fall apart if asked to do an 80 page clinical study.

I'd pay money to see her citations. That'd be pure gold. We many even find a new cow or two.

 

[Rabid Weasels]

Did she ever say she completed an undergrad degree? Don't you have to do that, plus take the GRE before you start working on a doctorate?

 

[Questionable Ceviche]

She made "healthy" spinach artichoke dip. Let's guess the ingredients! My guesses are: contains greek yogurt, vinegar and dijon mustard for sure.
View attachment 653983

And how right was I? Dude, this dip is supposed to be served hot, or at least warm. It's supposed to be cheesy and bubbling and baked until it has a tiny crust on the edges.

This is yogurt which is going to curdle the second you add vinegar to it; watery frozen spinach with no instructions to drain it; and a single tablespoon of the lowest fat calories cheese there is. All "dumped" in a bowl cold. Wow, so yummers Anna. Cold canned artichokes, soggy defrosted spinach and curdled yogurt. With mustard!
View attachment 653989 View attachment 653988

Edit: for reference, this is a normal ingredient list and method for this dip. Anna's uses the same amount of spinach as a dip intended to serve 10, is missing mayo and cream cheese, and even for a one person serving, Anna's doesn't have enough cheese in it to make the melty dip consistency. Hers will be a bowl of watery canned and frozen veg with curdled yogurt and mustard on it.
View attachment 653994
View attachment 653997

Calorie count time.

1 cup greek yogurt - 130 (used the Fage 0% for this, probably what she used)
1/2 cup canned artichokes - 35
1/2 cup frozen spinach - 15
1 T apple cider vinegar - 3
1 T Parmesan cheese - 22
2 tsp dijon mustard - 6
1/4 tsp each of onion and garlic powder - 6

Grand total of 217 calories. That is a fucking lot of spinach. She's bulked it up with low calorie filler, again, to make it seem like it's a lot more wholesome than it actually is. That plus the entire cup of yogurt and another 1/2 cup of artichoke filler in there is going to make a portion size that would be difficult for a normal human to consume in a single sitting.