DSP: "I have to visit CT and see sick parents in 2019" - most dramatic event of all of 2019 so far

millais said:
He also needs to introduce Kat to his parents' cats, it's a very pressing matter for some reason.
Click to expand...
they are true soulmates that have so much in common
but all phil can think of is "UH KAT LIKES CATS!!!"
also man, phil is such a boring person
all he can think of doing in CT is "show gf old places i used to go to"
basically the vacation version of "imma watch old videos of me"
phil will basically just stand around with that vapid smile on his face going "yeah, me and duh boys used to come here.. BUT DEN DAY ALL BETRAYED ME!!!"
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: BOLDYSPICY!, wabbits and 74 Screaming Armadillos
leChinkyRaccoon said:
Honestly though, why would he need a hotel room in CT? He has a condo. That he pays for. His parents could just drop a mattress off there. He could show Kat Burell Productions Prime. I just hope he can be cajoled into doing a vlog or two during the trip at least. It would probably be his most viewed thing in awhile.
Click to expand...
He could literally pay less money for a bed and mattress than he'll pay for that hotel room.

But this is DSP we're talking about.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: Raven'sChild and 74 Screaming Armadillos
SoapQueen1 said:
He could literally pay less money for a bed and mattress than he'll pay for that hotel room.

But this is DSP we're talking about.
Click to expand...
Kosher Dill said:
Why should he? She gave him gout!
THANKS, AUNT.
Click to expand...

Not surprised on either count to be quite honest. Although, like, it does add a level of suspicion to this. His parents are paying for his trip, you think they'd say hey why don't you stay in the house you own that we've inspected and cleaned every other week for the past five years now. After all you're still fucking paying, condo fees, the mortgage, sewage/water, insurance on it. If he stays a whole business week they're going to be spending at least $600 on his hotel when there are perfectly fine living arrangements already? I know Phil lacks common sense, but do his parents? insert action figure meme

As far as his aunt's funeral goes, if someone older dies, and they don't really have any family of their own so much, sometimes the process goes a lot quicker, just a day of calling hours or they do it right before the funeral itself so Phil not being able to make that sounds semi-reasonable. My brother has lived far from home for a long time, doesn't particularly like visiting himself, but has still only missed a single Christmas and a Birthday I think in all these years.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 74 Screaming Armadillos and Haunter
Genie The Hedgehog said:
I guarantee the only reason he will ever go to his parents funerals is because he's gonna get paid from the will. Every other member of his family is worthless to him.
Click to expand...

better than the alternative "MY FUCKING ASSHOLE DEAD PARENTS DIDNT LEAVE ME A FUCKING CENT. THOSE PIECE OF SHIT DETRACTOR PARENTS!!! MY PARENTS FUCKED ME! TIP PLZ I REALLY NEED THAT MONEY CAUSE I WAS GONNA USE THAT INHERITANCE ON MY TAXES!!!"
 
  • Feels
Reactions: Pubic Enemy #1
gaarashatan said:
better than the alternative "MY FUCKING ASSHOLE DEAD PARENTS DIDNT LEAVE ME A FUCKING CENT. THOSE PIECE OF SHIT DETRACTOR PARENTS!!! MY PARENTS FUCKED ME! TIP PLZ I REALLY NEED THAT MONEY CAUSE I WAS GONNA USE THAT INHERITANCE ON MY TAXES!!!"
Click to expand...
Dood they left everything to some bumbass charity saying I didn’t know how to handle money. Those motherfuckers cups hand around mouth I TOLD THEM THEY SHOULD GIVE IT ALL TO MEEE, REEE!!!!!
 
  • Like
Reactions: 74 Screaming Armadillos
Comma said:
He just literally said that "things are okay" with his parents and that they're "healthy and happy", only 30 seconds after literally saying "they're not in the best of health."

This man...

-edit- Clipped it:

View attachment 690741
Click to expand...
Wow. Just wow. So he literally wants money, he literally makes drama, he literally goes into panic mode IN CASE his perfectly healthy happy parents get sick.

Lose your house you pathetic piece of shit.
 
  • Feels
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: Pargon, Pubic Enemy #1, 74 Screaming Armadillos and 2 others
Dragoonism said:
Edit1:
First week of april will be his special birthday week event and it will be his last chance to raise any money for the taxes since he will travel to CT either the 2nd or 3rd week of april.
So nothing is planned for his trip, his parents are just suddently going to buy him a ticket and find a hotelroom for him?
Click to expand...
Dude, he is going to cancel visiting his parents I can fucking smell it. He's going to say he cannot possibly take off of work with so little saved up to pay his taxes. Unless his parents are going to break him off a little something he is NOT going to go visit them. If someone shows up with a briefcase of money he'll go, if things stay the way they have been there is no way he goes on that trip, dying parents or not.
 
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: strandedcastaway, Cyber Bowling and Iron Father
WeeblesWobble said:
Dude, he is going to cancel visiting his parents I can fucking smell it. He's going to say he cannot possibly take off of work with so little saved up to pay his taxes. Unless his parents are going to break him off a little something he is NOT going to go visit them. If someone shows up with a briefcase of money he'll go, if things stay the way they have been there is no way he goes on that trip, dying parents or not.
Click to expand...

He referred to trips like going to visit his parents as "superfluous" very recently. Imagine referring to visiting your parents, let alone your elderly and unwell parents, as a superfluous trip.
 
  • Feels
Reactions: BOLDYSPICY! and 74 Screaming Armadillos
Cistern Rumbler said:
He referred to trips like going to visit his parents as "superfluous" very recently. Imagine referring to visiting your parents, let alone your elderly and unwell parents, as a superfluous trip.
Click to expand...
...imagine telling your parents who are PAYING for the visit that you won't come the week of your birthday because you'd rather sit in your townhouse playing video games and begging strangers for money.
 
  • Thunk-Provoking
  • Horrifying
  • Feels
Reactions: Stalker Sociopath, tits-Burnell, Iron Father and 1 other person
WeeblesWobble said:
Dude, he is going to cancel visiting his parents I can fucking smell it. He's going to say he cannot possibly take off of work with so little saved up to pay his taxes. Unless his parents are going to break him off a little something he is NOT going to go visit them. If someone shows up with a briefcase of money he'll go, if things stay the way they have been there is no way he goes on that trip, dying parents or not.
Click to expand...
I can already envision Dave dejectedly sitting on that stinky love seat of his, careful not to look directly in the camera as he exhales loudly, letting one and all know how "I really wanted to go, but I don't know what I can do".

As the pre-stREEEEam balloons over the two hour mark, using all his subtlety gained from 10 years of begging the disabled and damaged for their pension, he lets out "if someone wanted to be incredibly generous, and uhh, donate to me to go and spend time with my, uh, parents, then that would be great. But, not going to lie to you guiz, it doesn't look like that's going to happen" ^deep sigh with not a snort to be heard*.

Que someone accessing their mothers credit card to grant Gianna Burnell and Mr. Ed their cross country adventure and lifting the spirits of the stream, and is celebrated with the customary bottle crush into microphone and a hearty snort. All's well that ends well.
 
Last edited:
  • Feels
  • Like
Reactions: Raven'sChild, 74 Screaming Armadillos, AnonymousDimwit and 1 other person
WeeblesWobble said:
Dude, he is going to cancel visiting his parents I can fucking smell it. He's going to say he cannot possibly take off of work with so little saved up to pay his taxes. Unless his parents are going to break him off a little something he is NOT going to go visit them. If someone shows up with a briefcase of money he'll go, if things stay the way they have been there is no way he goes on that trip, dying parents or not.
Click to expand...

If I'm not messing up his timetable, and someone please correct me if I am, it sounds like he's going to see them shortly after his birthday. That makes me think the trip is legitimately real, but it's motivated solely by him either hoping or having already coerced his parents into promising to give him money under the guise of a birthday gift.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Haunter
BallBuster said:
No one believes that if this CT trip happens that his parents paid for it right?
Click to expand...
JackDavis said:
I don't. I believe it was a kneejerk response to that guy in chat saying something like "So you're going to beg us to pay for the trip?"
Click to expand...

I actually do believe they are, but not because they're deathly ill or some shit. They just know their dumbass son won't actually fly out himself unless they give him the money to do so. My parents paid for me and my wife to fly before because they just really wanted us to come out and knew it wasn't really feasible for us financially. That said, someone making $100k+ a year should be able to handle that kind of purchase.

Very strange that the plane tickets haven't been booked yet. You save a ton of money by buying well in advance, similar to hotels.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Army Burger, Comma, Cyber Bowling and 5 others
actually said:
I actually do believe they are, but not because they're deathly ill or some shit. They just know their dumbass son won't actually fly out himself unless they give him the money to do so. My parents paid for me and my wife to fly before because they just really wanted us to come out and knew it wasn't really feasible for us financially. That said, someone making $100k+ a year should be able to handle that kind of purchase.

Very strange that the plane tickets haven't been booked yet. You save a ton of money by buying well in advance, similar to hotels.
Click to expand...

(Lean in and manual banning kozatof again)
"Oh chat said I missed a big cheer, let's see here, fuck man muxy froze again....ok.....SnooooorT ok TheRealBurnell just cheered 200,000 bits and said "heres the fund for your flight and hotel son, let us know if you want to go for a horse ride with us the after your arrive "
Ugh.......dad I told you to TIP ME because I get that fund right away you nudnig! But anyways thanks for the cheer let me put you on the leaderboard....guys, please dont be like my dad if you wanna contribute, okay? TIP ME helps me the most right now!

buuuuuuuuurp
Scuze me that comes out of nowhere ackackackackack "
 
  • Feels
  • Semper Fidelis
  • Like
Reactions: Army Burger, AnonymousDimwit, 74 Screaming Armadillos and 2 others
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back