🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

[Niggernerd]

I am going to call it now and I'm shocked no one else has noticed, we're witnessing Ralph's transition into his final form:
View attachment 692733

Soon he'll be sucking dick for cheeseburgers and crawling around the floors of McDonald's for burger crumbs.

In all seriousness I hope to God he didn't eat a cheeseburger out of the garbage can. He did say he got it for free maybe an employee gave it to him because they were afraid he was going to eat them, but the way he worded it sounded more like he just stole the cheeseburger which is probably worse for someone on probation.

Wait, but during the stream he said he got it off the floor. Then zoom said the trash and then Ralph went on cogs stream and said he go it from in the store.

 

[OnlyTheBrave]

What practice of medicine is Nora studying? My thought is that Ralph is expecting to be able to stay home and sperg/stream all day while Nora works and brings home the money.

If they do spawn a being, can you imagine being primarily raised by Ralph? That poor child (ren)

I'd bet anything that she's a shitty NHS Nurse.

 

[Colonel J]

One of these weird cat-lady IBS fans disavows Ralph.

http://archive.is/hQF5B http://archive.is/hQF5B

 

[ArtPig]

I remember seeing a close family member rescue themselves from a hard drug addiction and turn their life around. Ever since then, I've always taken pleasure in seeing seemingly hopeless people pick up the pieces up and make something of themselves. Who doesn't love a good redemption arc? When Ralph got out of jail and started doing his show, it seemed like exactly that. Seemed like a guy who thought too much of himself had gotten knocked down royally and genuinely come out of his ordeal and better and more mature person. I remember the MundaneMatt stream, the Healstream, and even the good times on Stream.me. Seeing it all go down in flames is a major fucking bummer.

Still, I suppose disappointment is my just desserts for expecting anything good from a drunken blob of an e-celeb. Congratulations, Ralph. You managed to take a godsend of luck, a foolproof format, as well as a the praise of some of the most entertaining people on the internet, and totally capsize it all with your laziness, pettiness, and incompetence. I guess eighteen months wasn't enough to permanently check your massive fucking ego.

Also, hi everyone. I'm new here.

Having also experienced first hand people I love go in and out of addiction, Ralph's alcoholism is really going to fuck his life up hard. We haven't even begun to see the dumpster fire that awaits.

Also, hi everyone. I'm not new here, but only recently made an account and have always lurked. This is my rock bottom.

 

[Lord Akira]

One of these weird cat-lady IBS fans disavows Ralph.

http://archive.li/hQF5B http://archive.li/hQF5B

Ralph is calling veterans spergs...Jesus Ralph, for all the pomp and circumstance you put behind your alleged political science degree, you really don't know anything about optics.

 

[Zìshā]

As a fellow overweight person(not so overweight that my head looks like a fucking balloon and have a gunt), you need to stay in your lane in terms of fashion. Fat people just dont fucking look good in white t shirts and bleached air. It just doesnt work.

It does if you're rolling out looking for America's greatest Diners, Drive Ins and Dives.

 

[Wheelchair]

What practice of medicine is Nora studying? My thought is that Ralph is expecting to be able to stay home and sperg/stream all day while Nora works and brings home the money.

If they do spawn a being, can you imagine being primarily raised by Ralph? That poor child (ren)

There is no way Nora gives a single fuck about gunt's well-being, no woman that cares will let her man sink to the level of eating burgers out of trash and streaming drunkenly crying about hating themselves. Initial plan was probably to get a greencard and make Ralph rise Tyrone's kids with paypig buck. Now it's just a greencard.

 

[Freeman]

Was Coach originally supposed to be involved with the Miami stuff? Like was he supposed to be 'directing the show' or was their plan all along just to do IRL streams while they barhop and stuff their faces?

Ralph's alcoholism is really going to fuck his life up hard

Seen it go both ways, with his mother on her death bed, whatever his brother is and his friends a group of speds Nora is really the only loved one he has that could make him see what he is. From what I've seen if people respond to those they care about and get help then they can get through it, if they don't then there isn't much hope.

Edit: Perhaps @Wheelchair above me answered the Nora question

 

[James Roancrest]

Wasn't Ralph making fun of Donga for losing his cat lady fans? Miserable, just miserable.

 

[Rabbi Yehonatan]

Was Coach originally supposed to be involved with the Miami stuff? Like was he supposed to be 'directing the show' or was their plan all along just to do IRL streams while they barhop and stuff their faces?


Seen it go both ways, with his mother on her death bed, whatever his brother is and his friends a group of speds Nora is really the only loved one he has that could make him see what he is. From what I've seen if people respond to those they care about and get help then they can get through it, if they don't then there isn't much hope.

Edit: Perhaps @Wheelchair above me answered the Nora question

Some said in this thread that Coach was supposed to handle the cameras and the editing. But when Ralphie and Andy stopped being fwends with him they had to use their shitty phones.

 

[Zìshā]

Was Coach originally supposed to be involved with the Miami stuff? Like was he supposed to be 'directing the show' or was their plan all along just to do IRL streams while they barhop and stuff their faces?

Ok for real though, all Guy Fieri jokes aside, was IRL streaming actually the big dick plan they had to get relevant again? Andy and Ralph are the last two people I would want to see do anything in real life, it's the worst kind of trash fire imaginable, except a trash fire can at least keep homeless people warm, these two will just take their food.

 

[James Roancrest]

Some said in this thread that Coach was supposed to handle the cameras and the editing. But when Ralphie and Andy stopped being fwends with him they had to use their shitty phones.

I think CRP ended up winning out of this ordeal, lol.

 

[Marche]

you really don't know anything about optics.

Screw your optics. I'm going in

 

[Nigel of Ukip]

Was Coach originally supposed to be involved with the Miami stuff? Like was he supposed to be 'directing the show' or was their plan all along just to do IRL streams while they barhop and stuff their faces?

I can't believe I know the lore behind this, I need to subaru myself in Terraria.

When they went to Knoxville they had an argument because CRP presented a contract that would split the Miami payout equal to himself, Ralph and Andy. Saying that the two guys filming atm would be payed a preset amount equaling contract pay.
That lead to mainly Andy and CRP arguing because Andy wanted them all to have a even split of the cash, and CRP decided to nope away winning in the long run.

I might have fucked up some details but that's the general gist of things.

 

[UnKillFill]

This entire thread has devolved into even more of an autistic circle jerk than it's ever been... But that doesn't change the fact that it was fucking retarded of Ralph to not even plan an episode of his show tonight (because he's doing some gay shit with Andy in Florida?), but not even bother letting his remaining fans know that there was no plan to... He actually did worse than that...

Dunno what his definition of a "late" stream is, but he's apparently in Florida right now and still in the same time zone as he's always been (and it's about 2am EST there.) Guess I'm the dumb one here, but I do still listen to the Ralph Retort (Or whatever the hell he's calling it now)... It was shitty of him to not let people know he wasn't doing one tonight.

 

[Wheelchair]

This entire thread has devolved into even more of an autistic circle jerk than it's ever been... But that doesn't change the fact that it was fucking exceptional of Ralph to not even plan an episode of his show tonight (because he's doing some gay shit with Andy in Florida?), but not even bother letting his remaining fans know that there was no plan to... He actually did worse than that...
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Dunno what his definition of a "late" stream is, but he's apparently in Florida right now and still in the same time zone as he's always been (and it's about 2am EST there.) Guess I'm the dumb one here, but I do still listen to the Ralph Retort (Or whatever the hell he's calling it now)... It was shitty of him to not let people know he wasn't doing one tonight.

His location got doxed because of Andy and he was getting fucked by ranch and zoom. Read the thread for a page back before shitting something out you absolute nigger.

 

[Lord Akira]

It was shitty of him to not let people know he wasn't doing one tonight.

Ralph basically has the texture of a human-sized colostomy bag at this point, so I don't know what you're expecting of him.

 

[UnKillFill]

Ralph basically has the texture of a human-sized colostomy bag at this point, so I don't know what you're expecting of him.

TBH, at this point I "expect" nothing from Ralph. But then again, I've never been stupid enough to actually give him money.

 

[The Reaper]

TBH, at this point I "expect" nothing from Ralph. But then again, I've never been stupid enough to actually give him money.

I’m glad the only time I ever gave money was during the charity stream that Ralph managed to fuck up. I was so disappointed when I got the email. Honestly he should’ve just collected the money from that night, saved the total and did it as a private donation so Youtube and others couldn’t label it Nazi money. It was sort of obvious the dontion would be rejected. I just hope someone at St. Jude’s didn’t have to look through a dozen superchats requesting Ram Ranch.

 

[Unog]

Not doing an episode tonight is only going to hurt his numbers, and makes me wonder if he's not hosting a show tonight due to excessive inebriation.

accurate post

The only thing I'd add to this is that it wouldn't have been as big a deal if Andy, for whatever reason, didn't take it as personally as he did.

This entire thread has devolved into even more of an autistic circle jerk than it's ever been...

How so?