MUKBANG: SAUSAGE FEST 3/20/19

[Chris Evans]

Look at the size of that bite, ya'll.

 

[ADHD]

Amber must be watching Foodie Beauty. Totally emulating Chantal with those loud, annoying snorts, laughs, and "mmmms." ?

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Chantal is not the gorl Amber should try to emulate.

 

[Whatthefuck]

Sorry to be late for the party, but holy shit is this for real?

Crikes, this is one more reason why the notorious Orange Chicken Mukbang video wasn't funny.

I am eighteen seconds into this video, and I sit here, mouth agape, pupils dilating, hair standing on end, and bones chilled to the marrow... Eighteen seconds! I gotta hand it to our gorl; she hit upon a brilliant clickbait title (like 1000 monkeys at typewriters, she occasionally comes up with a good one) and delivered the goods with a bang (no pun intended) right away without any warning...

There has to be a catch, right? This cannot be what she is really doing? The joke will be on us, right? Oh my gawd, the answer is no...

Now, I am 40 seconds in, and she is making sex sounds she hasn't made since last summer... Eye rolling as she savors the fatty mouthful of greasy, salty, meaty glory. Yes, folks, this is indeed a Classic mukbang of the type we have not seen since the power-weight-gain days of summer/autumn 2018. The bullet train for 600 Pounds is now leaving the station, all aboard!

Counting carbs?‽ WTF? There's a brilliant excuse to pig out on sausage! Holy steamers, man, she has lost what little of a mind she had...

She is gasping and huffing and puffing through the whole video.

Her explanation of what carbs do and what they are is utterly moronic. She is insane. Next comes the Pork Rind Diet. Delusion and stupidity is a very dangerous combination, and our fat friend exudes them.

Lol at "first" meal of the day. That oughta last her two days.

I love how it sounds like a freakin' tornado outside. A "scaredbang" she calls it, with a Chantal-esque "HAH!" I don't know if Kentucky ever gets tornadoes, but ya don't want to be 570 pounds if there is one...

It's like she switches up her "diet" or "plan" according to whatever she's craving that particular day. That's not how this works, gorl.

 

[Rotogravure]

How many sausages IS that? Two? Three? Jfc.

 

[Clown Baby]

Eating enough sausage to feed 5 fucking people, talkin' bout "low carb" lmao this bitch. A literal never-ending source of predictable entertainment you can set your calendar by. How does anyone sitting in that house listening to her delusional peptalks to herself not laugh at her?

after optavia: restrictive diets don't work, y'all. 1 day later: diets where I can just eat whatever i want if it fits my calories don't work y'all. Now: if i cut out bread and only eat potatoes and sausage it's gonna work, y'all. Tomorrow: okay so yo gorl ordered dominos, and before you guys say anytheeng...

 

[FatSubaruOwner]

Damn, who would've thought that this bitch can fit so much sausage inside of her at once. And to think she tricked us into thinking she was a lesbian.

 

[ThatGayElfFromDragonAge]

Did anyone else get the distinct feeling that for some reason this video was somehow abnormally bad? All of Amber's shit is awful and this combination of smugness, shovelling food into her rancid maw, and lack of anything insightful is nothing new. So why did this come across to like it was on a complete other level?

I feel like she's being sort of sarcastic here. like she's saying everything with a wink. she knows its bullshit and she knows that we know it too.

 

[JambledUpWords]

Damn, who would've thought that this bitch can fit so much sausage inside of her at once. And to think she tricked us into thinking she was a lesbian.

Well, Becky has quite the sausage herself

 

[Polystyrene Glioblastoma]

Why was the window open during this incoming storm? Was Amber smoking weed, again?

 

[Dainty600lbGorl]

well, at least watching this I feel a little bit better about, not to powerlevel here, eating that cup of rice yesterday.

Trolllynn has indeed reached peak troll in this video though. As people pointed out her imitating Chantal with those disgusting moans and making her eyes roll back in to her head like an obese Reagan from The Exorcist. DOWN TO THE FREAKING BULL RING. She knows people were going to make cattle jokes at her for this, so she gave them more material. I feel ill. Not to mention her talking about the storm outside, don't worry gorl, no matter how hard that wind blows you will stay perfectly planted on the ground due to your girth.

 

[ADHD]

Why was the window open during this incoming storm? Was Amber smoking weed, again?

They were taking advantage of the air flow to clear out some of Amber's stench.

 

[Concerned Vagino-American]

I think it's genuine, she really loves food that much. She's a food addict getting her high.

Only in the wettest of Necky's dreams does AL look at her with that kind of lust.

 

[Dutch Courage]

Guy makes a good point. In fact, it is possible it was made as long as three weeks ago, when a state of emergency was declared. The weather was a balmy 63 degrees yesterday, with rain.

At any rate, this is an old video.

 

[Queen of Moderation]

With regards to the Chantal comparisons, it is undeniable that they are in competition for biggest trainwreck in that neck of the YouTube woods. They share the same asspaters and haydurs and bolth both cannot stand for the other one to make money if they aren't. The big question is who will have the debilitating health crisis 1st.

 

[Citroen]

Deathfats always do this thing where they shove large quantities of food into their mouth and don't savor it whatsoever, barely chewing and immediately swallowing the food whole. They're essentially paying 1000 calories to experience the same amount of enjoyment that someone with a normal eating style gets with 500 calories or less.

 

[8008135]

I mean, I know this bitch is disgusting, but ... fucking hell.

 

[ThisWillBeFun]

She looks like her body is rotting from the inside.
So eating greasy sausage must be the cure.
If she doesn't get serious help soon, I see a stroke, heart attack or death coming soon.
She truly has awful coloring & apparent circulation issues.
Tick-tock.

 

[RanchRanchLover]

She's going to die lol
I use to think "maybe she will lose weight/she's clearly got a food addiction". But she's just such a lazy, will-less mess who's doing all this for YT bucks. How embarrassing. She's going to die for money and too much food. It's just really pathetic. I don't even feel sorry for her.

 

[SmileyTimeDayCare]

This is 58 carbs

Calling bullshit...

The meat is at least an entire Hillshire Farms Turkey Kielbasa Rope(assuming that's the brand but it is definitely the length) stats for that:

• Cal 630
• Sodium 2940mg (You really should try to eat less than 2300mg)
• Carb 21g

The pepper isn't a carb concern but onions contrary to popular belief do have carbs. I'm guessing she has 1/4 of a cup to 1/2 a cup of onion on that plate. So that's another 5 grams or more of carbs?

Up to 26 carbs now and here is where we hit the snag-a-rooni. That potato is a large baked potato. That's 63 grams of carbs or there about.

If she was talking about a medium potato she'd be at 58g total for the meal but that's not a medium baked potato. That is a large if not huge baked potato. So that's 89+ grams of carbs on that amazingly sturdy plate. She's already under counting by more than thirty grams of carbohydrates.

I can't tell if she is lying to herself or just can't judge anymore because her portions have to be enormous in order to provide her a second of satiation though I doubt she can be sated at all after watching her speak longingly about pork rinds as she shovels mounds of turkey and potato in that dumpster like mouth.

 

[Hidden Squirrel]

Calling bullshit...

The meat is at least an entire Hillshire Farms Turkey Kielbasa Rope(assuming that's the brand but it is definitely the length) stats for that:

• Cal 630
• Sodium 2940mg (You really should try to eat less than 2300mg)
• Carb 21g

The pepper isn't a carb concern but onions contrary to popular belief do have carbs. I'm guessing she has 1/4 of a cup to 1/2 a cup of onion on that plate. So that's another 5 grams or more of carbs?

Up to 26 carbs now and here is where we hit the snag-a-rooni. That potato is a large baked potato. That's 63 grams of carbs or there about.

If she was talking about a medium potato she'd be at 58g total for the meal but that's not a medium baked potato. That is a large if not huge baked potato. So that's 89+ grams of carbs on that amazingly sturdy plate. She's already under counting by more than thirty grams of carbohydrates.

I can't tell if she is lying to herself or just can't judge anymore because her portions have to be enormous in order to provide her a second of satiation though I doubt she can be sated at all after watching her speak longingly about pork rinds as she shovels mounds of turkey and potato in that dumpster like mouth.

Of course she's entering it as "one medium potato." She does have a food scale, doesn't she?