ITT: Copy & Paste a Movie Synopsis from wikipedia and replace the characters with Kiwi Farms Users - Let's put ourselves in the movies

[Danskjaevel]

Everybody betrayed me! I'm fed up with this world!

IF YOU'D KEEP @JambledUpWords SATISFIED SHE WOULDN'T COME TO ME!

 

[Null]

Stop fucking tagging me

 

[Somar]

Stop fucking tagging me

Just wait until I get to Infinity War.

 

[Teri-Teri]

Just wait until I get to Infinity War.

This is gonna be good. ?

 

[Teri-Teri]

@A Cold Potato , a divorced fund manager, is a workaholic and absentee father to his young daughter @ToroidalBoat . For her birthday the next day, she wishes for her father to take her to Wellington to see her mother. They board the KWI 101 at Greymouth Station. Others on the same train include the tough working-class husband @Reynard and his futa wife @NARPASSWORD , a high school baseball team, the rich and egotistical COO @Alan Pardew , elderly sisters @Tetraphobia and @atm, and a homeless man experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder.

As the train departs, a convulsing young woman boards the train with a bite wound on her leg. She soon turns into a zombie and attacks a train attendant, who then turns into a zombie. The virus quickly spreads throughout the train. Baseball player @Kiwi Jeff, a girl named @Tard Baby , who has a crush on him, and several passengers escape to another car. News broadcasts report zombie outbreaks (reported as riots) nationwide and Greymouth Station was attacked by zombies so they passed it. After the train stops at Chirstchurch Station, the surviving passengers find the city and station also overrun, and they hastily retreat back to the train, splitting up into different train cars in the chaos. The conductor restarts the train to head to Nelson City, where a quarantine zone has reportedly been established.

@A Cold Potato, @Reynard and @Kiwi Jeff fight their way to where @ToroidalBoat, @Tetraphobia , @NARPASSWORD and the homeless man are hiding. Together, they struggle through the zombie horde to the front train car, where the other passengers are sheltered. At the instigation of @Alan Pardew , however, the passengers block the survivors from entering, fearing that they are infected. @Reynard and @Tetraphobia sacrifice themselves to give the others time to force open the door and enter the car. @Alan Pardew demands that the newcomers isolate themselves in the vestibule, and the others follow his lead. When @atm deliberately opens the door to the zombies to be with her zombified sister @Tetraphobia due to @Alan Pardew and the other passengers not wanting the newcomers to be with them in the train car, the zombies kill the rest of the passengers, leaving @A Cold Potato, @ToroidalBoat, @Tard Baby, @Kiwi Jeff , @NARPASSWORD and the homeless man safe, as they are in the vestibule. @Alan Pardew and the train attendant escape the onslaught by hiding in the bathroom.

A blocked track at East Kiwi forces the survivors to stop and search for another train. In the process, @A Cold Potato, @Tard Baby, @ToroidalBoat, and the homeless man are separated from @Kiwi Jeff and @Tard Baby. @Alan Pardew escapes after pushing the train attendant to be killed by the zombies, then does the same with @Tard Baby . Heartbroken, @Kiwi Jeff stays with @Tard Baby and is soon bitten by her. The train conductor starts a locomotive on another track but, while trying to save @Alan Pardew, is also killed by zombies after being pushed by @Alan Pardew . The homeless man sacrifices himself to let @ToroidalBoat and @NARPASSWORD escape with @A Cold Potato into the train the conductor had activated. They encounter @Alan Pardew in the motorman's cab, on the verge of turning into a zombie, having been bitten when the train conductor saved him. @A Cold Potato fights him off, but is himself bitten. He puts @ToroidalBoat and @NARPASSWORD inside the engine room and shares his last words with his daughter before moving outside. As he zombifies, he thinks of the first time he held his daughter in his arms and throws himself off the locomotive with a smile.

@ToroidalBoat and @NARPASSWORD get off at Wellington and begin walking through a train tunnel. On the other side of the tunnel are soldiers stationed to defend the perimeter against zombies. Unable to see the new arrivals clearly, the soldiers at the checkpoint are instructed to shoot them. However, the soldiers then hear singing, which makes them realize the newcomers are human. @ToroidalBoat tearfully sings the song she had wanted to perform for her father at the beginning of the film, and now sings it to honor his sacrifice.

 

[Reynard]

@A Cold Potato , a divorced fund manager, is a workaholic and absentee father to his young daughter @ToroidalBoat . For her birthday the next day, she wishes for her father to take her to Wellington to see her mother. They board the KWI 101 at Greymouth Station. Others on the same train include the tough working-class husband @Reynard and his futa wife @NARPASSWORD , a high school baseball team, the rich and egotistical COO @Alan Pardew , elderly sisters @Tetraphobia and @atm, and a homeless man experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder.

As the train departs, a convulsing young woman boards the train with a bite wound on her leg. She soon turns into a zombie and attacks a train attendant, who then turns into a zombie. The virus quickly spreads throughout the train. Baseball player @Kiwi Jeff, a girl named @Tard Baby , who has a crush on him, and several passengers escape to another car. News broadcasts report zombie outbreaks (reported as riots) nationwide and Greymouth Station was attacked by zombies so they passed it. After the train stops at Chirstchurch Station, the surviving passengers find the city and station also overrun, and they hastily retreat back to the train, splitting up into different train cars in the chaos. The conductor restarts the train to head to Nelson City, where a quarantine zone has reportedly been established.

@A Cold Potato, @Reynard and @Kiwi Jeff fight their way to where @ToroidalBoat, @Tetraphobia , @NARPASSWORD and the homeless man are hiding. Together, they struggle through the zombie horde to the front train car, where the other passengers are sheltered. At the instigation of @Alan Pardew , however, the passengers block the survivors from entering, fearing that they are infected. @Reynard and @Tetraphobia sacrifice themselves to give the others time to force open the door and enter the car. @Alan Pardew demands that the newcomers isolate themselves in the vestibule, and the others follow his lead. When @atm deliberately opens the door to the zombies to be with her zombified sister @Tetraphobia due to @Alan Pardew and the other passengers not wanting the newcomers to be with them in the train car, the zombies kill the rest of the passengers, leaving @A Cold Potato, @ToroidalBoat, @Tard Baby, @Kiwi Jeff , @NARPASSWORD and the homeless man safe, as they are in the vestibule. @Alan Pardew and the train attendant escape the onslaught by hiding in the bathroom.

A blocked track at East Kiwi forces the survivors to stop and search for another train. In the process, @A Cold Potato, @Tard Baby, @ToroidalBoat, and the homeless man are separated from @Kiwi Jeff and @Tard Baby. @Alan Pardew escapes after pushing the train attendant to be killed by the zombies, then does the same with @Tard Baby . Heartbroken, @Kiwi Jeff stays with @Tard Baby and is soon bitten by her. The train conductor starts a locomotive on another track but, while trying to save @Alan Pardew, is also killed by zombies after being pushed by @Alan Pardew . The homeless man sacrifices himself to let @ToroidalBoat and @NARPASSWORD escape with @A Cold Potato into the train the conductor had activated. They encounter @Alan Pardew in the motorman's cab, on the verge of turning into a zombie, having been bitten when the train conductor saved him. @A Cold Potato fights him off, but is himself bitten. He puts @ToroidalBoat and @NARPASSWORD inside the engine room and shares his last words with his daughter before moving outside. As he zombifies, he thinks of the first time he held his daughter in his arms and throws himself off the locomotive with a smile.

@ToroidalBoat and @NARPASSWORD get off at Wellington and begin walking through a train tunnel. On the other side of the tunnel are soldiers stationed to defend the perimeter against zombies. Unable to see the new arrivals clearly, the soldiers at the checkpoint are instructed to shoot them. However, the soldiers then hear singing, which makes them realize the newcomers are human. @ToroidalBoat tearfully sings the song she had wanted to perform for her father at the beginning of the film, and now sings it to honor his sacrifice.

You called me a husband and not the tru & onest grill I am reeeeeeeeee!

 

[NARPASSWORD]

@A Cold Potato , a divorced fund manager, is a workaholic and absentee father to his young daughter @ToroidalBoat . For her birthday the next day, she wishes for her father to take her to Wellington to see her mother. They board the KWI 101 at Greymouth Station. Others on the same train include the tough working-class husband @Reynard and his futa wife @NARPASSWORD , a high school baseball team, the rich and egotistical COO @Alan Pardew , elderly sisters @Tetraphobia and @atm, and a homeless man experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder.

As the train departs, a convulsing young woman boards the train with a bite wound on her leg. She soon turns into a zombie and attacks a train attendant, who then turns into a zombie. The virus quickly spreads throughout the train. Baseball player @Kiwi Jeff, a girl named @Tard Baby , who has a crush on him, and several passengers escape to another car. News broadcasts report zombie outbreaks (reported as riots) nationwide and Greymouth Station was attacked by zombies so they passed it. After the train stops at Chirstchurch Station, the surviving passengers find the city and station also overrun, and they hastily retreat back to the train, splitting up into different train cars in the chaos. The conductor restarts the train to head to Nelson City, where a quarantine zone has reportedly been established.

@A Cold Potato, @Reynard and @Kiwi Jeff fight their way to where @ToroidalBoat, @Tetraphobia , @NARPASSWORD and the homeless man are hiding. Together, they struggle through the zombie horde to the front train car, where the other passengers are sheltered. At the instigation of @Alan Pardew , however, the passengers block the survivors from entering, fearing that they are infected. @Reynard and @Tetraphobia sacrifice themselves to give the others time to force open the door and enter the car. @Alan Pardew demands that the newcomers isolate themselves in the vestibule, and the others follow his lead. When @atm deliberately opens the door to the zombies to be with her zombified sister @Tetraphobia due to @Alan Pardew and the other passengers not wanting the newcomers to be with them in the train car, the zombies kill the rest of the passengers, leaving @A Cold Potato, @ToroidalBoat, @Tard Baby, @Kiwi Jeff , @NARPASSWORD and the homeless man safe, as they are in the vestibule. @Alan Pardew and the train attendant escape the onslaught by hiding in the bathroom.

A blocked track at East Kiwi forces the survivors to stop and search for another train. In the process, @A Cold Potato, @Tard Baby, @ToroidalBoat, and the homeless man are separated from @Kiwi Jeff and @Tard Baby. @Alan Pardew escapes after pushing the train attendant to be killed by the zombies, then does the same with @Tard Baby . Heartbroken, @Kiwi Jeff stays with @Tard Baby and is soon bitten by her. The train conductor starts a locomotive on another track but, while trying to save @Alan Pardew, is also killed by zombies after being pushed by @Alan Pardew . The homeless man sacrifices himself to let @ToroidalBoat and @NARPASSWORD escape with @A Cold Potato into the train the conductor had activated. They encounter @Alan Pardew in the motorman's cab, on the verge of turning into a zombie, having been bitten when the train conductor saved him. @A Cold Potato fights him off, but is himself bitten. He puts @ToroidalBoat and @NARPASSWORD inside the engine room and shares his last words with his daughter before moving outside. As he zombifies, he thinks of the first time he held his daughter in his arms and throws himself off the locomotive with a smile.

@ToroidalBoat and @NARPASSWORD get off at Wellington and begin walking through a train tunnel. On the other side of the tunnel are soldiers stationed to defend the perimeter against zombies. Unable to see the new arrivals clearly, the soldiers at the checkpoint are instructed to shoot them. However, the soldiers then hear singing, which makes them realize the newcomers are human. @ToroidalBoat tearfully sings the song she had wanted to perform for her father at the beginning of the film, and now sings it to honor his sacrifice.

Unrealistic. I live in this story.

 

[Somar]

The Asgardian @NARPASSWORD encounters the Other, the leader of an extraterrestrial race known as the Chitauri. In exchange for retrieving the Desseract, a powerful energy source of unknown potential, the Other promises @NARPASSWORD an army with which he can subjugate Earth. @Alan Pardew, director of the espionage agency D.E.S.E.R.T., and his lieutenant Agent Maria Hill arrive at a remote research facility during an evacuation, where physicist Dr. @Ntwadumela is leading a research team experimenting on the Desseract. Agent Phil @Dynastia explains that the object has begun radiating an unusual form of energy. The Desseract suddenly activates and opens a wormhole, allowing @NARPASSWORD to reach Earth. @NARPASSWORD takes the Desseract and uses his scepter to enslave @Ntwadumela and a few other agents, including Clint @Sammy, to aid him in his getaway.



In response to the attack, @Alan Pardew reactivates the "Vroomers Initiative". Agent Natasha @Rat Speaker is sent to Calcutta to recruit Dr Baby to trace the Desseract through its gamma radiation emissions. @Dynastia visits @Somari1996 to have him review @Ntwadumela's research, and @Alan Pardew approaches @Kiwi Jeff with an assignment to retrieve the Desseract.



In Stuttgart, @Sammy steals iridium needed to stabilize the Desseract's power while @NARPASSWORD causes a distraction, leading to a brief confrontation with @Kiwi Jeff, @Somari1996, and @Rat Speaker that ends with @NARPASSWORD's surrender. While @NARPASSWORD is being escorted to D.E.S.E.R.T., @A Cold Potato, his adoptive brother, arrives and frees him, hoping to convince him to abandon his plan and return to Asgard. After a confrontation with @Somari1996 and @Kiwi Jeff, @A Cold Potato agrees to take @NARPASSWORD to D.E.S.E.R.T.'s flying aircraft carrier, the Helicarrier. Upon arrival, @NARPASSWORD is imprisoned while Baby and @Somari1996 attempt to locate the Desseract.



The Vroomers become divided, both over how to approach @NARPASSWORD and the revelation that D.E.S.E.R.T. plans to harness the Desseract to develop weapons as a deterrent against hostile extraterrestrials. As the group argues, @Sammy and @NARPASSWORD's other possessed agents attack the Helicarrier, disabling one of its engines in flight and causing Baby to transform into the @Tard Baby. @Somari1996 and @Kiwi Jeff work to restart the damaged engine, and @A Cold Potato attempts to stop the @Tard Baby's rampage. @Rat Speaker reluctantly fights @Sammy, and knocks him unconscious, breaking @NARPASSWORD's mind control. @NARPASSWORD escapes after killing @Dynastia and ejecting @A Cold Potato from the airship, while the @Tard Baby falls to the ground after attacking a D.E.S.E.R.T. fighter jet. @Alan Pardew uses @Dynastia's death to motivate the Vroomers into working as a team. @Somari1996 and @Kiwi Jeff realize that for @NARPASSWORD, simply defeating them will not be enough; he needs to overpower them publicly to validate himself as ruler of Earth. @NARPASSWORD uses the Desseract, in conjunction with a device @Ntwadumela built, to open a wormhole above @Somari1996 Tower to the Chitauri fleet in space, launching his invasion.



@Kiwi Jeff, @Somari1996, @Rat Speaker, @Sammy, and @A Cold Potato rally in defense of New York City, the wormhole's location. Baby arrives and transforms into the @Tard Baby, and together the Vroomers battle the Chitauri while evacuating civilians. The @Tard Baby finds @NARPASSWORD and beats him into submission. @Rat Speaker makes her way to the wormhole generator, where @Ntwadumela, freed from @NARPASSWORD's mind control, reveals that @NARPASSWORD's scepter can be used to shut down the generator. Meanwhile, @Alan Pardew's superiors from the World Security Council attempt to end the invasion by launching a nuclear missile at Midtown Manhattan. @Somari1996 intercepts the missile and takes it through the wormhole toward the Chitauri fleet. The missile detonates, destroying the Chitauri mothership and disabling their forces on Earth. @Somari1996's suit runs out of power, and he falls back through the wormhole just as @Rat Speaker closes it. @Somari1996 goes into freefall, but the @Tard Baby saves him from crashing into the ground. In the aftermath, @A Cold Potato returns @NARPASSWORD and the Desseract to Asgard, while @Alan Pardew expresses confidence that the Vroomers will return if and when they are needed.



In a mid-credits scene, the Other confers with his master about the failed attack on Earth. In a post-credits scene, the Vroomers eat in silence at a shawarma restaurant.

 

[Teri-Teri]

Unrealistic. I live in this story.

For now...

 

[HG 400]

The Asgardian @NARPASSWORD encounters the Other, the leader of an extraterrestrial race known as the Chitauri. In exchange for retrieving the Desseract, a powerful energy source of unknown potential, the Other promises @NARPASSWORD an army with which he can subjugate Earth. @Alan Pardew, director of the espionage agency D.E.S.E.R.T., and his lieutenant Agent Maria Hill arrive at a remote research facility during an evacuation, where physicist Dr. @Ntwadumela is leading a research team experimenting on the Desseract. Agent Phil @Dynastia explains that the object has begun radiating an unusual form of energy. The Desseract suddenly activates and opens a wormhole, allowing @NARPASSWORD to reach Earth. @NARPASSWORD takes the Desseract and uses his scepter to enslave @Ntwadumela and a few other agents, including Clint @Sammy, to aid him in his getaway.



In response to the attack, @Alan Pardew reactivates the "Vroomers Initiative". Agent Natasha @Rat Speaker is sent to Calcutta to recruit Dr Baby to trace the Desseract through its gamma radiation emissions. @Dynastia visits @Somari1996 to have him review @Ntwadumela's research, and @Alan Pardew approaches @Kiwi Jeff with an assignment to retrieve the Desseract.



In Stuttgart, @Sammy steals iridium needed to stabilize the Desseract's power while @NARPASSWORD causes a distraction, leading to a brief confrontation with @Kiwi Jeff, @Somari1996, and @Rat Speaker that ends with @NARPASSWORD's surrender. While @NARPASSWORD is being escorted to D.E.S.E.R.T., @A Cold Potato, his adoptive brother, arrives and frees him, hoping to convince him to abandon his plan and return to Asgard. After a confrontation with @Somari1996 and @Kiwi Jeff, @A Cold Potato agrees to take @NARPASSWORD to D.E.S.E.R.T.'s flying aircraft carrier, the Helicarrier. Upon arrival, @NARPASSWORD is imprisoned while Baby and @Somari1996 attempt to locate the Desseract.



The Vroomers become divided, both over how to approach @NARPASSWORD and the revelation that D.E.S.E.R.T. plans to harness the Desseract to develop weapons as a deterrent against hostile extraterrestrials. As the group argues, @Sammy and @NARPASSWORD's other possessed agents attack the Helicarrier, disabling one of its engines in flight and causing Baby to transform into the @Tard Baby. @Somari1996 and @Kiwi Jeff work to restart the damaged engine, and @A Cold Potato attempts to stop the @Tard Baby's rampage. @Rat Speaker reluctantly fights @Sammy, and knocks him unconscious, breaking @NARPASSWORD's mind control. @NARPASSWORD escapes after killing @Dynastia and ejecting @A Cold Potato from the airship, while the @Tard Baby falls to the ground after attacking a D.E.S.E.R.T. fighter jet. @Alan Pardew uses @Dynastia's death to motivate the Vroomers into working as a team. @Somari1996 and @Kiwi Jeff realize that for @NARPASSWORD, simply defeating them will not be enough; he needs to overpower them publicly to validate himself as ruler of Earth. @NARPASSWORD uses the Desseract, in conjunction with a device @Ntwadumela built, to open a wormhole above @Somari1996 Tower to the Chitauri fleet in space, launching his invasion.



@Kiwi Jeff, @Somari1996, @Rat Speaker, @Sammy, and @A Cold Potato rally in defense of New York City, the wormhole's location. Baby arrives and transforms into the @Tard Baby, and together the Vroomers battle the Chitauri while evacuating civilians. The @Tard Baby finds @NARPASSWORD and beats him into submission. @Rat Speaker makes her way to the wormhole generator, where @Ntwadumela, freed from @NARPASSWORD's mind control, reveals that @NARPASSWORD's scepter can be used to shut down the generator. Meanwhile, @Alan Pardew's superiors from the World Security Council attempt to end the invasion by launching a nuclear missile at Midtown Manhattan. @Somari1996 intercepts the missile and takes it through the wormhole toward the Chitauri fleet. The missile detonates, destroying the Chitauri mothership and disabling their forces on Earth. @Somari1996's suit runs out of power, and he falls back through the wormhole just as @Rat Speaker closes it. @Somari1996 goes into freefall, but the @Tard Baby saves him from crashing into the ground. In the aftermath, @A Cold Potato returns @NARPASSWORD and the Desseract to Asgard, while @Alan Pardew expresses confidence that the Vroomers will return if and when they are needed.



In a mid-credits scene, the Other confers with his master about the failed attack on Earth. In a post-credits scene, the Vroomers eat in silence at a shawarma restaurant.

Don't tag me.

 

[Somar]

Don't tag me.

Well don't worry, you're dead for the rest of this franchise anyway. Unless of course I decided to make Agents of D.E.S.E.R.T

 

[Somar]

At a New Year's Eve party in 1999, @Somari1996 meets scientist @Apoth42, the inventor of an experimental regenerative treatment named Extremis that allows recovery from crippling injuries. Disabled scientist @LofaSofa offers them a place in his company Advanced Idea Mechanics, but @Somari1996 rejects him. In late 2012, @Somari1996 is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and is having frequent panic and anxiety attacks due to his experiences during the alien invasion and subsequent Battle of New York. Restless, he has built dozens of new Iron Captor suits, creating friction with his girlfriend @tomoyo.



A string of bombings claimed by a terrorist known as the Mandarin has left intelligence agencies bewildered by a lack of forensic evidence. @Somari1996's security chief Happy Hogan is badly injured in one such attack, prompting @Somari1996 to boldly issue a televised threat to the Mandarin, revealing his home address in the process. The Mandarin sends gunship helicopters to destroy @Somari1996's home. @Apoth42, who came to warn @Somari1996, survives the attack with @tomoyo. @Somari1996 escapes in an experimental new Iron Captor suit, which his artificial intelligence @RobotGentleman. pilots to rural Tennessee, following a flight plan from @Somari1996's investigation into the Mandarin. @Somari1996's new armor is not fully functional, and lacks sufficient power to return to California, leaving the world to believe him dead.



Teaming with @Hal, a 10-year-old boy, @Somari1996 investigates the remains of a local explosion bearing the hallmarks of a Mandarin attack. He discovers the "bombings" were triggered by soldiers subjected to Extremis whose bodies explosively rejected the treatment. These explosions were falsely attributed to a terrorist plot in order to cover up Extremis's flaws. @Somari1996 witnesses Extremis first hand when Mandarin agents attack him. Meanwhile, @LofaSofa resurfaces and kidnaps @tomoyo and @Apoth42. American intelligence agencies continue to search for the Mandarin's location, with @Syaoran Li—the former Card Machine, now re-branded as the Card Patriot—lured into a trap to steal his Iron Captor-like armor.



With @Hal's help, @Somari1996 traces the Mandarin to Miami and infiltrates his headquarters using improvised weapons. Inside he discovers the Mandarin is actually an English actor named @Dirt McGirt, who is oblivious to the actions carried out in his image. @LofaSofa, who appropriated @Apoth42's Extremis research as a cure for his own disability and expanded the program to include injured war veterans, reveals he is the real Mandarin behind Slattery's cover. After capturing @Somari1996, @LofaSofa reveals that he has subjected @tomoyo to Extremis in the hope that @Somari1996 will help fix Extremis's flaws while trying to save her. @LofaSofa fatally shoots @Apoth42 when she tries to stop him.



@Somari1996 escapes and reunites with @Syaoran Li, discovering that @LofaSofa intends to attack President @Flowers For Sonichu aboard Air Force One, using the Card Patriot armor. @Somari1996 saves some surviving passengers and crew but cannot stop @LofaSofa from abducting @Flowers For Sonichu and destroying Air Force One. They trace @LofaSofa to an impounded damaged oil tanker where @LofaSofa intends to kill @Flowers For Sonichu on live television. The Vice President will become a puppet leader, following @LofaSofa's orders in exchange for Extremis to cure his young daughter's disability. On the platform, @Somari1996 works to save @tomoyo, as @Syaoran Li goes after the President. @Somari1996 summons his remaining Iron Captor suits, controlled remotely by @RobotGentleman., to provide air support. @Syaoran Li secures the President and takes him to safety, while @Somari1996 discovers @tomoyo has survived the Extremis procedure; before he can save her, a rig collapses around them and she falls to her apparent death. @Somari1996 confronts @LofaSofa and traps him in an Iron Captor suit that he self-destructs, but fails to kill him. @tomoyo, whose Extremis powers allowed her to survive her fall, intervenes and kills @LofaSofa.



@Somari1996 orders @RobotGentleman. to remotely destroy each Iron Captor suit as a sign of his devotion to @tomoyo, while the Vice President and @Dirt McGirt are arrested. With @Somari1996's help, @tomoyo' Extremis effects are stabilized, and @Somari1996 promises to scale back his life as Iron Captor, undergoing surgery to remove the shrapnel near his heart and throwing his obsolete chest arc reactor into the sea. He muses that, even without the technology, he will always be Iron Captor.



Also @Tard Baby makes a cameo at the end since @Somari1996 took time out of her life to appear in his film when she could have been doing better things with her time.

 

[Gingervitis]

Eight-year-olds @Null and @AnOminous discover a magical black stone in the woods. In the face of @AnOminous's moving away, the two vow to always be friends.

Decades later, @Null, now a successful novelist, is struck by a car but miraculously survives the accident and rapidly heals from his injuries, which he credits to the power of the stone. Returning home, @Null reveals to his wife, @Cowlick, that he has not been working on a new book but has instead been using his hacking abilities to uncover "the most secret government and corporate secrets," which he plans to publish in an expose. His commitment to the project is tested by his wife's descent into drug addiction and eventual overdose, as well as the constant sexual attention paid to him by his best friend, @Gingervitis's, underage step daughter. Later, @Gingervitis himself is murdered by his wife for turning down her own sexual advances; distraught, she stages his death as a suicide.

Plagued by disturbing dreams of a mystical book, @Null begins seeing a psychologist, who helps him unearth repressed childhood memories; doing so causes @Null to realize that the nurse who attended to him during his recovery from the car accident was an adult @AnOminous and the two are reunited, quickly beginning a sexual relationship. Learning about @Null's plans to publish the expose, a mysterious assailant kidnaps @AnOminous. Using psychic powers granted to him by the stone, @Null rescues her by teleporting into the kidnapper's compound. Going to visit his psychologist one last time, @Null learns that she is, in fact, a ghost, and that he must now face "the council of spirits," who guard the book he has been seeing in his dreams.

@Null publishes his book, hosting a press conference in which he divulges "the most secret government and corporate secrets." During his speech, an unknown figure attempts to assassinate him, only for @Null to kill him with his psychic powers. Later, having been exposed, a number of politicians and business people take their own lives in public exhibitions to applauding crowds.

His mission complete, @Null and @AnOminous return to the place where they found the stone in the woods as children.

 

[AF 802]

@Tard Baby is a successful banker who lives in a San Francisco townhouse with his fiancée @Alan Pardew, who has become dissatisfied with their relationship. She seduces his best friend, @CatParty, and the two begin a secret affair. Meanwhile, @Tard Baby, having overheard @Alan Pardew confess her infidelity to her mother, @Kiwi Jeff, attaches a tape recorder to their phone in an attempt to identify her lover.

@Sammy, a neighboring college student @Tard Baby financially and emotionally supports, has a run-in with an armed drug dealer, @Ass eating cunt. @Tard Baby and @CatParty overpower @Ass eating cunt and detain him. @Sammy also lusts after @Alan Pardew, and confesses this to @Tard Baby, who understands and encourages him to instead pursue one of his classmates. @Tard Baby spirals into a mental haze and calls upon @Uncanny Valley, his and @CatParty's friend and a psychologist, for help. @CatParty also confides in @Uncanny Valley that he feels guilty about his affair. When @Uncanny Valley asks @CatParty if the affair is with @Alan Pardew, @CatParty attacks and attempts to kill him, but they quickly reconcile.

At a surprise birthday party for @Tard Baby, one of his friends catches @Alan Pardew kissing @CatParty while the other guests are outside and confronts them about the affair. @Tard Baby announces that he and @Alan Pardew are expecting a child, although @Alan Pardew later reveals she lied about it in order to cover up the truth about the affair. At the end of the evening, @Alan Pardew flaunts her affair in front of @Tard Baby, who physically and verbally attacks @CatParty.

After the party, @Tard Baby locks himself in the bathroom in despair. When he leaves, he retrieves the cassette recorder that he attached to the phone and listens to an intimate call between @Alan Pardew and @CatParty. Outraged, @Tard Baby berates @Alan Pardew for betraying him, prompting her to end their relationship permanently and live with @CatParty . @Tard Baby then has an emotional breakdown, angrily destroying his apartment and committing suicide via gunshot through the mouth.

Hearing the commotion, @Sammy, @CatParty, and @Alan Pardew rush up the stairs to find his dead body. @CatParty blames @Alan Pardew for @Tard Baby's death, admonishes her for her deceitful behavior, and tells her to get out of his life. @Sammy tells @Alan Pardew and @CatParty to leave him with @Tard Baby, and they step back to give him a moment, but ultimately they all stay and comfort each other as the police arrive.

 

[AnOminous]

Eight-year-olds @Null and @AnOminous discover a magical black stone in the woods. In the face of @AnOminous's moving away, the two vow to always be friends.

Decades later, @Null, now a successful novelist, is struck by a car but miraculously survives the accident and rapidly heals from his injuries, which he credits to the power of the stone. Returning home, @Null reveals to his wife, @Cowlick, that he has not been working on a new book but has instead been using his hacking abilities to uncover "the most secret government and corporate secrets," which he plans to publish in an expose. His commitment to the project is tested by his wife's descent into drug addiction and eventual overdose, as well as the constant sexual attention paid to him by his best friend, @Gingervitis's, underage step daughter. Later, @Gingervitis himself is murdered by his wife for turning down her own sexual advances; distraught, she stages his death as a suicide.

Plagued by disturbing dreams of a mystical book, @Null begins seeing a psychologist, who helps him unearth repressed childhood memories; doing so causes @Null to realize that the nurse who attended to him during his recovery from the car accident was an adult @AnOminous and the two are reunited, quickly beginning a sexual relationship. Learning about @Null's plans to publish the expose, a mysterious assailant kidnaps @AnOminous. Using psychic powers granted to him by the stone, @Null rescues her by teleporting into the kidnapper's compound. Going to visit his psychologist one last time, @Null learns that she is, in fact, a ghost, and that he must now face "the council of spirits," who guard the book he has been seeing in his dreams.

@Null publishes his book, hosting a press conference in which he divulges "the most secret government and corporate secrets." During his speech, an unknown figure attempts to assassinate him, only for @Null to kill him with his psychic powers. Later, having been exposed, a number of politicians and business people take their own lives in public exhibitions to applauding crowds.

His mission complete, @Null and @AnOminous return to the place where they found the stone in the woods as children.

note, nool will cut a bitch for tagging him in this thread.

 

[Remove Goat]

In Nazi-occupied Poland, 12-year-old @The Flawless Gazelles is separated from his parents upon entering the Auschwitz concentration camp. While trying to reach them, he causes a set of metal gates to bend towards him as the result of his autistic ability to create magnetic fields and control metal manifesting, only to be knocked out by the guards. In the not too distant future, U.S. Senator @Ron /pol/ attempts to pass an "Autism Registration Act" in Congress, which would force autistics to publicly reveal their identities and abilities. Present are @The Flawless Gazelles , now going by the name "Magneto", and his telepathic colleague Professor @Null . Seeing @The Flawless Gazelles in attendance, @Null becomes concerned with how he will respond to the Registration Act.

Meanwhile, in Meridian, Mississippi, 17-year-old @Rio accidentally puts his boyfriend into a coma upon kissing him as the result of his autistic ability to absorb the powers and life force of others. He runs away from home and adopts the name Rogue. In Alberta, he meets @Dynastia , also known as Wolverine, who possesses superhuman healing abilities and metal "claws" that protrude from between his knuckles. While on the road together, they are attacked by a minion of @The Flawless Gazelles 's, @AnOminous , until two of @Null 's students @ICameToplaY and @yawning sneasel arrive and save them. @Dynastia and @Rio are brought to @Null 's mansion and school for autistics in Westchester County, New York. @Null tells @Dynastia that @The Flawless Gazelles appears to have taken an interest in @Dynastia and asks him to stay while @Null 's autists, the C-Men, investigate the matter. Meanwhile, @Rio enrolls in the school.

Senator @Ron /pol/ is abducted by two more of @The Flawless Gazelles 's minions, @the autist of dojima and @Somari1996 and is brought to their hideout on the uncharted island of Genosha. There, @The Flawless Gazelles uses @Ron /pol/ as a test subject for a machine powered by his magnetic abilities that generates a field of radiation, inducing autism in normal humans. @Ron /pol/ later escapes by taking advantage of his newfound autism. @Rio visits @Dynastia during the night while he is having a nightmare; however, he accidentally stabs him once startled, but @Rio is able to absorb his healing ability to recover, which other students witness, having arrived to help. He is later convinced by @Somari1996 , who disguises herself as @Rio 's crush @gobbogobb , that @Null is angry with him and he should leave the school. @Null uses his autist-locating machine Kiwi Farms to find @Rio at a train station, and the C-Men go to retrieve her. Meanwhile, @Somari1996 enters Kiwi Farms and sabotages it.

Having left ahead of @yawning sneasel and @ICameToplaY , @Dynastia finds @Rio on a train and convinces him to return to the school. Before they can leave, @The Flawless Gazelles arrives, knocks out @Dynastia and subdues @Rio . Although @Null attempts to stop @The Flawless Gazelles by mentally controlling @AnOminous , he is forced to release his hold on @AnOminous when @The Flawless Gazelles threatens the police who have converged on the train station, allowing @The Flawless Gazelles 's Brotherhood to escape with @Rio . @Ron /pol/ arrives at @Null 's school, and @Null reads his mind to learn about @The Flawless Gazelles 's machine. Realizing the strain of powering it nearly killed @The Flawless Gazelles , the group deduces he intends to transfer his powers to @Rio and use him to power it at the cost of his life. @Ron /pol/ 's body rejects his autism, and his body dissolves into liquid. @Null attempts to locate @Rio using Kiwi Farms, but @Somari1996 's sabotage incapacitates him, and he falls into a coma. Fellow telekinetic and telepath @CrunkLord420 fixes Kiwi Farms and uses it, learning that @The Flawless Gazelles plans to place his autism-inducing machine on Liberty Island and use it to "exceptionalize" the world leaders meeting at a summit on nearby Ellis Island. The C-Men scale the Statue of Liberty, battling the Brotherhood while @The Flawless Gazelles transfers his powers to @Rio and activates the mutating machine. As @Dynastia confronts and distracts @The Flawless Gazelles , @yawning sneasel blasts him away, allowing @Dynastia to destroy the machine. He transfers his powers to @Rio and his healing abilities rejuvenate him, while incapacitating himself.

Professor @Null and @Dynastia recover from their comas. The group also learn that @Somari1996 escaped the island battle and is impersonating Senator @Ron /pol/ . @Null gives @Dynastia a lead to his past at an abandoned military installation in Canada. @The Flawless Gazelles is imprisoned in a complex constructed of plastic and is visited by @Null , and @The Flawless Gazelles warns him he intends to escape one day and continue the fight.

 

[NARPASSWORD]

In the Southeast Asian nation of Shadaloo, civil war has erupted between the forces of drug lord-turned General @CatParty and the Allied Nations led by Colonel @Reynard. @CatParty has captured several A.N. relief workers, and via a live two-way radio broadcast, demands @Reynard secure a US$20 billion ransom in three days. @Reynard refuses and vows to track @CatParty down and place him on trial for his crimes, but his assistant, Sergeant @NARPASSWORD, is only partially able to pinpoint @CatParty's location to the river-delta region outside the city. One hostage is Guile's friend Sergeant @Super Collie, who @CatParty orders taken to his lab for his captive doctor and scientist, @Count groudon, to turn into the first of his supersoldiers. Though @Super Collie is severely disfigured by the procedure, @Count groudon secretly alters his cerebral programming to maintain @Super Collie's humanity.

American con artists @Uncanny Valley and @Kiwi Jeff attempt to swindle arms dealer @AnOminous by providing him with fake weaponry. @AnOminous sees through the ruse and has @Uncanny Valley fight his cage champion, @bearycool, but @Reynard bursts in and arrests everyone present for violating a curfew. In the prison grounds, @Reynard witnesses @Uncanny Valley and @Kiwi Jeff fighting @AnOminous's men, and recruits them to help him find @CatParty in exchange for their freedom, since @AnOminous is @CatParty's arms supplier. They are given a homing device and win @CatParty's trust by staging a prison escape and faking @Reynard's death. However, news reporter @Feline Darkmage, whose father was killed by @CatParty, and her crew, former sumo wrestler @LordKaT and boxer @DrainRedRain, who are out for revenge against @AnOminous for ruining their careers, stumble across the plan, and over @Reynard's objections, attempt to assassinate the two warlords at a party. To maintain @CatParty's trust, @Uncanny Valley and @Kiwi Jeff stop the assassination and reveal the conspirators to @CatParty.

Returning to his base, @CatParty inducts @Uncanny Valley and @Kiwi Jeff into his organization and orders @LordKaT and @DrainRedRain imprisoned and @Feline Darkmage taken to his quarters. @Uncanny Valley and @Kiwi Jeff break @DrainRedRain and @LordKaT out of confinement and rush to confront @CatParty, who is fighting @Feline Darkmage, but @CatParty escapes and releases sleeping gas, sedating them all. @Reynard plans his assault on @CatParty's base. He is impeded by the Deputy Secretary of the A.N., who informs @Reynard that the decision has been made to pay @CatParty the ransom, but @Reynard and his loyal troops nevertheless proceed with the mission. At the base, @Count groudon is found out by a security guard; during the ensuing fight, @Super Collie is released, and he kills the guard to protect @Count groudon. @Reynard arrives and sneaks into the lab, where he encounters @Super Collie. @Reynard prepares to shoot @Super Collie to end his suffering, but @Count groudon stops him. @CatParty prepares to kill the hostages by unleashing @Super Collie on them, but @Reynard emerges and engages @CatParty's guards until the remaining A.N. forces arrive. After @CatParty makes it clear that he will not surrender peacefully, @Reynard orders his allies to rescue the hostages and engages @CatParty in a personal duel. As @Reynard and @CatParty fight, @Uncanny Valley and @Kiwi Jeff defeat @AnOminous and @bearycool. @CatParty's computer expert @ICameToplaY flees through a secret passage, joined by @AnOminous, while Bison's bodyguard, @Medafag, engages @LordKaT in a fight until learning from @ICameToplaY that @CatParty was the true enemy, and sides with @Uncanny Valley and @Kiwi Jeff to save the hostages.

@Reynard gains the upper hand against @CatParty and kicks him into a bank of hard drives, electrocuting him. A revival system restores @CatParty and he reveals that his suit is powered by electromagnetism, enabling him to fly and fire electricity. @CatParty takes control of the fight, beating @Reynard viciously, and moves to deal the death blow, but @Reynard counters by kicking @CatParty into his monitor wall, finishing him off and overloading the base's energy field. The hostages are rescued, but @Reynard stays behind to convince @Count groudon and @Super Collie to return with him. They refuse, with @Count groudon wishing to atone for his part in mutating @Super Collie. @Reynard flees the exploding base and reunites with his comrades.

In a post-credits scene, @CatParty is revived once again amidst his ruined command center to try his hand at world conquest one more time.

(not mentioned: @vertexwindi as T. Hawk)

 

[Somar]

Two years after the Battle of New York, @Kiwi Jeff works in Washington, D.C. for the espionage agency D.E.S.E.R.T. under Director @Alan Pardew, while adjusting to contemporary society. @Kiwi Jeff and Agent @Rat Speaker are sent with D.E.S.E.R.T.'s counter-terrorism S.T.R.I.K.E. team, led by Agent @Jon-Kacho, to free hostages aboard a D.E.S.E.R.T. vessel. Mid-mission, @Kiwi Jeff discovers @Rat Speaker has another agenda: to extract data from the ship's computers for @Alan Pardew. @Kiwi Jeff returns to the Triskelion, D.E.S.E.R.T.'s headquarters, to confront @Alan Pardew and is briefed about Project Insight: three Helicarriers linked to spy satellites, designed to preemptively eliminate threats. Unable to decrypt the data recovered by @Rat Speaker, @Alan Pardew becomes suspicious about Insight and asks senior D.E.S.E.R.T. official and Secretary of Internal Security @JSGOTI to delay the project.



On his way to rendezvous with @trombonista, @Alan Pardew is ambushed by assailants led by a mysterious assassin called the Winter Soldier. @Alan Pardew escapes to @Kiwi Jeff's apartment, and warns @Kiwi Jeff that D.E.S.E.R.T. is compromised. @Alan Pardew is gunned down by the Winter Soldier, before handing @Kiwi Jeff a flash drive containing data from the ship. @Alan Pardew is pronounced dead during surgery, and @trombonista recovers the body. The next day, @JSGOTI summons @Kiwi Jeff to the Triskelion. When @Kiwi Jeff withholds @Alan Pardew's information, @JSGOTI brands him a fugitive. Hunted by S.T.R.I.K.E., @Kiwi Jeff meets with @Rat Speaker. Using data in the flash drive, they discover a secret D.E.S.E.R.T. bunker in New Jersey, where they activate a supercomputer containing the preserved consciousness of @Haunter. @Haunter reveals that ever since D.E.S.E.R.T. was founded after World War II, Dryda has secretly operated within its ranks, sowing global chaos with the objective of making humanity surrender its freedom in exchange for security. The pair narrowly escape death when a D.E.S.E.R.T. missile destroys the bunker, and realize that @JSGOTI is Dryda's leader within D.E.S.E.R.T.



@Kiwi Jeff and @Rat Speaker enlist the help of former USAF pararescueman @Trilby, whom @Kiwi Jeff befriended, and acquire his powered "Falcon" wingpack. Deducing that D.E.S.E.R.T. agent @Bones is a Dryda mole, they force him to divulge that @Haunter developed a data-mining algorithm that can identify individuals becoming threats to Dryda. The Insight Helicarriers will sweep the globe, using satellite-guided guns to eliminate these individuals. @Kiwi Jeff, @Rat Speaker, and @Trilby are ambushed by the Winter Soldier, who kills @Bones. During the fight, @Kiwi Jeff recognizes the Winter Soldier as @NIGGO KILLA, his childhood best friend who supposedly fell to his death on a mission, but was actually captured and experimented upon after WWII. @trombonista manages to extract the trio to a safehouse where @Alan Pardew, who had faked his death, is waiting with plans to sabotage the Helicarriers by replacing their controller chips.



After the World Security Council members arrive for the Helicarriers' launch, @Kiwi Jeff broadcasts Dryda's plot to everyone at the Triskelion. @Rat Speaker, disguised as one of the Council members, disarms @JSGOTI. @Alan Pardew arrives and forces @JSGOTI to unlock D.E.S.E.R.T.'s database so that @Rat Speaker can leak classified information, exposing Dryda to the public. Following a struggle, @Alan Pardew kills @JSGOTI. Meanwhile, @Kiwi Jeff and @Trilby storm two Helicarriers and replace the controller chips, but the Winter Soldier destroys @Trilby's suit and fights @Kiwi Jeff on the third. @Kiwi Jeff fends him off and replaces the final chip, allowing @trombonista to take control and have the vessels destroy each other. @Kiwi Jeff refuses to fight the Winter Soldier in an attempt to reach his friend, but as the ship collides with the Triskelion, @Kiwi Jeff is thrown out into the Potomac River. The Winter Soldier rescues the unconscious @Kiwi Jeff before disappearing into the woods. With D.E.S.E.R.T. in disarray, @Rat Speaker appears before a Senate subcommittee and @Alan Pardew, under the cover of his apparent death, heads to Eastern Europe in pursuit of Dryda's remaining cells. @Kiwi Jeff and @Trilby decide to find the Winter Soldier, while @Jon-Kacho, who was a double agent for Dryda, is hospitalized following the Triskelion's destruction.



In a mid-credits scene, @Meowthkip, at a Dryda lab, proclaims that the "age of miracles" has begun as scientists examine an energy-filled scepter and two test subjects: one with superhuman speed, the other with deaf powers. In a post-credits scene, @NIGGO KILLA visits his own memorial at the Smithsonian Institution.

 

[Teri-Teri]

Following a major recession, the New Zealand government has passed the "BR ACT” to control New Zealand's unruly youth. Vroomer @Syaoran Li copes with life after his father committed suicide. @Somari1996 is the only vroomer regularly attending class 3-B. Their moderator, @Alan Pardew , resigns after being wounded by a vroomer.

One year later, TSIC takes a field trip, but they are gassed and taken to a remote island. @Alan Pardew reappears surrounded by New Zealand Defense Force, explaining to the class that they are chosen to participate in the annual Battle Royale as a result of the Act: they have three days to fight to the death until a victor emerges, while explosive collars will kill uncooperative vroomer or those within daily "danger zones". Each vroomer is provided rations, water, a map of the island, compass, and a random weapon. @Alan Pardew personally kills two of the vroomers for disobedience, one of them being @Somari1996 's best friend @tomoyo.

The first six hours see twelve deaths, four by suicide, and most caused by the desperate, psychotic @chekovia and psychopathic volunteer @DrainRedRain . Transfer vroomer @DrainRedRain lets @Syaoran Li go, while basketball player @Reynard plots to hack into the military's computer system to disrupt the program. Amid shifting loyalties and violent confrontations, @Syaoran Li promises to keep @Somari1996 safe. He carries her to a clinic, where @DrainRedRain reveals that he won a previous Battle Royale at the cost of his girlfriend, @Haunter, whose death he seeks to avenge. When @chekovia attacks, @Syaoran Li entrusts @DrainRedRain to protect @Somari1996 and runs as a distraction. Although saved by @Kiwi Jeff , a martial artist looking for @Tard Baby, @Syaoran Li is wounded.

@Syaoran Li awakens in the island's lighthouse, bandaged by TSIC representative @Un Platano. Five other vroomers are also hiding in the building, including @ICameToplaY , who attempts to poison @Syaoran Li out of fear for @Oscar Wilde who she saw die and believes that @Syaoran Li had killed him, only for @NARPASSWORD to accidentally eat the food. @ICameToplaY is the only survivor of the ensuing shootout; horrified, she apologizes to @Syaoran Li and commits suicide. @Syaoran Li returns to @Somari1996 and @DrainRedRain, and they set out to find @Reynard . @chekovia kills @Army Burger. @Reynard and two others, @LofaSofa and @Tetraphobia, infiltrate the military's computer system, but @chekovia kills them. When @DrainRedRain , @Somari1996 and @Syaoran Li arrive at the hackers' burning base, @DrainRedRain confronts and kills @chekovia , who had been blinded by an explosion rigged by @Reynard as he was killed.

On the morning of the final day, @DrainRedRain , aware of the collars' internal microphones, seemingly kills @Somari1996 and @Syaoran Li . Suspicious, @Alan Pardew ends the game and dismisses the troops, intent on personally killing the supposed victor. @Alan Pardew realizes that @DrainRedRain hacked the system months beforehand, and has disabled @Syaoran Li and @Somari1996's tracking devices. The three survivors confront @Alan Pardew in the headquarters, and he unveils a homemade painting of the massacred class depicting @Somari1996 as the sole survivor. He reveals that he was unable to bear the hatred between him and his vroomers, having been rejected by his daughter, and confesses that he always thought of @Somari1996 as a daughter. He asks her to kill him, but @Syaoran Li shoots him after he threatens her with a gun. As he falls, @Alan Pardew shoots, revealing the gun to be a water pistol. Before he dies, @Alan Pardew 's daughter calls him; after an argument, he shoots the phone with an actual gun.

@Syaoran Li , @Somari1996 and @DrainRedRain leave the island on a boat, but @DrainRedRain dies from injuries, happy that he found friendship. @Syaoran Li and @Somari1996 are declared fugitive murderers, and are last seen on the run in the direction of Wellington Station. @Somari1996 gives @Syaoran Li The Nameless Card before they run off together.

 

[Somar]

In 1988, following his mother's death, a young @Dink Smallwood is abducted from Earth by the Ravagers, a group of space pirates led by @yawning sneasel. Twenty-six years later on the planet Morag, @Dink Smallwood steals a mysterious orb but is attacked by @tehpope, a subordinate to the fanatical Kree, @Kermit the Frog. Although @Dink Smallwood escapes with the orb, @yawning sneasel discovers his theft and issues a bounty for his capture, while @Kermit the Frog sends the assassin @Cosmos after the orb.

When @Dink Smallwood attempts to sell the orb on Xandar, capital of the Nova Empire, @Cosmos ambushes him and steals it. A fight ensues, drawing in a pair of bounty hunters: the genetically and cybernetically modified something @scorptatious, and the tree-like humanoid @Scratch This Nut. Nova Corps officers capture the four, detaining them in the Kyln prison. A powerful inmate there, @Flustercuck, attempts to kill @Cosmos due to her association with @Kermit the Frog and @Null, who killed his family. @Dink Smallwood convinces @Flustercuck that @Cosmos can bring @Kermit the Frog to him, though @Cosmos reveals that she has betrayed @Kermit the Frog, unwilling to let him use the orb's power. Learning that @Cosmos has a buyer for the orb, @Dink Smallwood, @scorptatious, @Scratch This Nut, and @Flustercuck work with her to escape the Kyln in @Dink Smallwood's ship, the Milano.

@Kermit the Frog meets with @Cosmos's adoptive father, @Null, to discuss her betrayal. @Dink Smallwood's group flee to Knowhere, a remote criminal outpost in space built in the giant severed head of a Celestial. A drunken @Flustercuck summons @Kermit the Frog while the rest of the group meet @Cosmos's contact, the collector @Oscar Wildean. @Oscar Wildean opens the orb, revealing the Power Infinity Stone, an item of immeasurable power that destroys all but the most powerful beings who wield it. @Oscar Wildean's slave @lil bitch grabs the Stone, triggering an explosion that engulfs @Oscar Wildean's archive.

@Kermit the Frog arrives and easily defeats @Flustercuck, while the others flee by ship, pursued by @Kermit the Frog's followers and @Cosmos's adoptive sister @StarkRavingMad. @StarkRavingMad destroys @Cosmos's ship, leaving her floating in space, and @Kermit the Frog's fighters capture the orb. @Dink Smallwood contacts @yawning sneasel before following @Cosmos into space, giving her his helmet to survive; @yawning sneasel arrives and retrieves the pair. @scorptatious, @Flustercuck, and @Scratch This Nut threaten to attack @yawning sneasel's ship to rescue them, but @Dink Smallwood negotiates a truce, promising the orb to @yawning sneasel. @Dink Smallwood's group agrees that facing @Kermit the Frog means certain death, but that they cannot let him use the Infinity Stone to destroy the galaxy. On @Kermit the Frog's flagship, the Dark Aster, @Kermit the Frog embeds the Stone in his warhammer, taking its power for himself. He contacts @Null, threatening to kill him after first destroying Xandar; hateful of her adoptive father, @StarkRavingMad allies with @Kermit the Frog.

The Ravagers and @Dink Smallwood's group join with the Nova Corps to confront the Dark Aster at Xandar, with @Dink Smallwood's group breaching the Dark Aster with the Milano. @Kermit the Frog uses his empowered warhammer to destroy the Nova Corps fleet. @Flustercuck and @Cosmos defeat @tehpope and @StarkRavingMad, the latter escaping, but the group find themselves outmatched by @Kermit the Frog's power until @scorptatious crashes a Ravager ship through the Dark Aster. The damaged Dark Aster crash-lands on Xandar, with @Scratch This Nut sacrificing himself to shield the group. @Kermit the Frog emerges from the wreck and prepares to destroy Xandar, but @Dink Smallwood distracts him, allowing @Flustercuck and @scorptatious to destroy @Kermit the Frog's warhammer. @Dink Smallwood grabs the freed Stone, and with @Cosmos, @Flustercuck, and @scorptatious sharing its burden, they use it to destroy @Kermit the Frog.

In the aftermath, @Dink Smallwood tricks @yawning sneasel into taking a container supposedly containing the Stone, and gives the real Stone to the Nova Corps. As the Ravagers leave Xandar, @yawning sneasel remarks that it turned out well that they did not deliver @Dink Smallwood to his father per their contract. @Dink Smallwood's group, now known as the Riders of the Galaxy, have their criminal records expunged, and @Dink Smallwood learns that he is only half-human, his father being part of an ancient, unknown species. @Dink Smallwood finally opens the last present he received from his mother: a cassette tape filled with her favorite songs. The Riders leave in the rebuilt Milano along with a sapling cut from @Scratch This Nut.

In a post-credits scene, @Oscar Wildean sits in his destroyed archive with two of his living exhibits: a canine cosmonaut and an anthropomorphic electric hedgehog.