Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

Ya know I was thinking more on the topic of "what if rose was actually handed a decent part and decent writing" and given that Disney just acquired the Alien franchise it got me thinking that a Star Wars horror spinoff movie featuring her as the protagonist could actually work.

I mean a hilariously outmatched sci-fi everyman engineer having to survive a lovecraftian nightmare does have some precedent...
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RomanesEuntDomus said:
He's a precious minority and Disney is really weary of shitting on old and beloved characters... y'know, after they shat on Mon Mothma, Han, Luke, Ackbar, tehnically Lando in that Solo movie, etc... it seems after just a dozen such instances and fans blowing up each time, they might have gotten a clue and will treat Lando with more respect in this movie.
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Disney already killed Lando when they proudly professed that he engages in sexual, intimate relationships with robots.

No original character is safe.
 
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Could Disney actually go full batshit and use time travel to turn Rey into Shmi Skywalker/Anakin's mom? Time travel has been showing up more regularly in SW since Filoni did that time travel episode in Rebels. I seriously hope they do. That would be the ultimate middle finger to anyone who still has hopes that Disney can salvage their own wreckage.

Puddleduck said:
Hmm...
Would that be incest?
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Not if they stick with Rey being the daughter of nobodies.
 
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StarkRavingMad said:
Disney already killed Lando when they proudly professed that he engages in sexual, intimate relationships with robots.

No original character is safe.
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Looking forward to the scene where Rose visits the engine room to get some spare parts and walks in on a naked Lando balls deep in the ship's primary input node, his wrinkly brown ass grinding into the metal like two hutts at an all-you-can-eat buffet...
 
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Judge Holden said:
Looking forward to the scene where Rose visits the engine room to get some spare parts and walks in on a naked Lando balls deep in the ship's primary input node, his wrinkly ass grinding into the metal like two hutts at an all-you-can-eat buffet...
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I bet you they'll have a scene in this fucking movie where BB-8's pixar lamp finds the on/off switch for the Falcon's voice emulator, at which point L337 will join the cast as the Falcon's true form.
 
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GeneralFriendliness said:
Could Disney actually go full batshit and use time travel to turn Rey into Shmi Skywalker/Anakin's mom? Time travel has been showing up more regularly in SW since Filoni did that time travel episode in Rebels. I seriously hope they do. That would be the ultimate middle finger to anyone who still has hopes that Disney can salvage their own wreckage.


Not if they stick with Rey being the daughter of nobodies.
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I support the "Rey goes back in time to become Shmi" plot for 2 reasons:
  1. It's absolute horseshit, so it'll be hilarious to watch unfold
  2. It means that little Miss Perfect will get knocked up by Sheev and his master sith-raping the Force
 
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friedshrimp said:
I just can't wait to see the reaction of the sheep fans. Will they clap like seals with their consumerist "Disney can do no wrong!" mentality, or will they protest if the film is shit or contradicts their precious Last Jedi?
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I don't think they'll protest over that, only if Reylo ends up not being canon. That seems to be what the majority (or at least a large chunk) of the Disney Wars fans want. If they don't get Reylo then they'll protest. Other than that I'm already seeing a lot of seal clapping. Question is how IX will fair in China. TFA did fairly well with over 100mil, same for RO for the most part, but everything that followed has had a notable dip.
 
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RomanesEuntDomus said:
I support the "Rey goes back in time to become Shmi" plot for 2 reasons:
  1. It's absolute horseshit, so it'll be hilarious to watch unfold
  2. It means that little Miss Perfect will get knocked up by Sheev and his master sith-raping the Force
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Rey pulling some stable time loop bullshit and ensuring the creation of her and the Skywalkers would be some hilarious bullshit, and would also never happen because of that. More likely she's just going to recreate the Jedi Order, but do it 'right' this time and call them the Skywalkers.
 
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The trailer dropped when I was at work. Me and one other guy saw it and we both thought it was really lame. So as an experiment I told everyone else the title, and literally everyone agreed that it's a dumb name. And a lot of these are people who see everything Disney puts out. My lady friend even said it sounded more like "fanfiction written by a 10-year-old" rather than a real title.

Keep hitting those home runs, Kennedy.
 
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