Really basic things you can't do or didn't know

[Philosophy Zombie]

I can't whistle, roll my tongue or snap my fingers.

I didn't learn to tie my shoes until I was 9 and couldn't ride a bike until I was 10.

Today I learned that cherries are red. I saw this documentary once when I was a kid that showed that Rainier cherries were white and people just dyed them red so I've spent the next 15 years of my life believing that no cherries were really red and we just dyed them for some reason. I'm shocked I've managed to survive this long.

 

[Philosophy Zombie]

Cherries are purple my dude

Yours will be when I'm done with it

 

[JambledUpWords]

• I can’t drive a car yet (I don’t have a license, but I use my bike and public transport so it isn’t too bad)
• When I was little I used to believe that people smoked so they could see their breath when it wasn’t winter
• I’m really bad at directions and have only recently gotten better (I still need to improve, but map functions on phones have been a life saver)
• My parents tricked me into thinking I had magic at age 7
• I couldn’t spell the word Wednesday right until late middle school
• I didn’t know men got erections until high school

 

[The Fool]

I can't stop drinking

 

[Zersetzung]

I have 20+ years experience in gamedev but I shamefully can't rig and animate a character

 

[Neo-Holstien]

i can not swim

 

[Zersetzung]

i can not swim

believe in yourself

 

[GloryHole Stalker]

• I’m really bad at directions and have only recently gotten better (I still need to improve, but map functions on phones have been a life saver)

I'm in my mid forties and still suffer from this affliction. Besides work and the grocery store, if it wasn't for GPS I'd never be able to drive anywhere, lol.

 

[IV 445]

For years I thought Tupac Shakur was a jewish holiday

 

[Lez]

Can't drive. Can't whistle. I thought sawdust was toxic for a long time because my parents told me that to keep me out of the attic.

 

[goku_black]

my parent tricked me into thinking that someone stole our router when i was 12

 

[SigSauer]

Getting laid.

 

[YW 525]

I’m really bad at directions and have only recently gotten better (I still need to improve, but map functions on phones have been a life saver)

I'm in my mid forties and still suffer from this affliction. Besides work and the grocery store, if it wasn't for GPS I'd never be able to drive anywhere, lol.

The GPS devices are probably part of the reason both of you are not improving this particular ability. With the device doing the work, your brain has no need to actually learn the task at hand.

 

[RG 448]

Despite a lifetime’s worth of experience fitting large things into tight spaces, I cannot parallel park for shit. It’s a disaster every single time I have to do it.

 

[Wendy Carter]

I never learned to hold a pen or a pencil the proper way. Because of my autistic way of holding them, my index finger starts hurting when I write something for prolonged periods of time (more than an hour, usually). I just don't care to re-learn at this point.

lifetime’s worth of experience fitting large things into tight spaces

Just what did he mean by this? ?

 

[Botched Tit Job]

When I was a kid a camp counselor told us that if you touched geckos you would get burned because they're cold blooded.
Nearly 2 decades later and I just found out that that's not true at all, they just didn't want us to touch geckos.

 

[GloryHole Stalker]

The GPS devices are probably part of the reason both of you are not improving this particular ability. With the device doing the work, your brain has no need to actually learn the task at hand.

I drove for many years before GPS came along. Tried using maps and the like, and I'd just get lost...I'm exceptional when it comes to directions, what else can I say.

 

[chunkygoth]

I didn't date until I was older and ended up dating my first boyfriend way past the expiration date. I was irrationally scared of breaking up, never having done it before, and was secretly hoping he would take the lead. The other day I was feeling sorry for myself and thinking about the "timeline" of red flag moments . As I reflected, I realized for the first time that almost every single one of those moments was him trying to provoke me into a breakup. That whole time he was throwing me softballs and I missed each one. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and started feeling real dumb real quick.

I can't mop. Every time I mop I make a bigger mess. Instead, I just sweep and spot scrub.

 

[drtoboggan]

For years I thought Tupac Shakur was a jewish holiday

I'm telling every Red Sea Pedestrian I know "happy Tupac Shakur" now.

 

[Star Stuff]

I can't write correctly in terms of calligraphy. In elementary they were teaching us how to only write cursive and then middle- onwards they forced us to write both it and print despite the former getting phased out.

Now my handwriting is some fucked amalgamation of print and cursive with no respect for capitalization. If I need to write proper print, I need to invest more focus than taking apart a fucking firearm and I still screw it up.