Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

[Clockwork_PurBle]

All the time. They were mainly forgettable, though one assembly that was super dull was when my high school got awarded to become an "A+ School" or some shit, so they had an entire assembly to circlejerk about it, but I don't recall what else it was about and why it was even important, and I doubt anyone did because no one was interested in it. The only time an assembly even made some kind of impact was when Nick Vujicic came to our school and when a couple of police officers spoke about DUI when Prom was coming up and they showed gruesome pictures of car accidents and corpses.

Nick Vujicic? Damn. All we ever got was traumatizing car accident awareness and shoddily put-together tobacco videos.

Spoiler

This may or may not be universally experienced or whatever but I shit y'all not, every year before prom they make 6th - 12th grade (don't ask why non-driving kids have to go, because we don't now) go watch a two hour long presentation about drunk driving, texting and driving, etc. They go for the shock, raw value instead of the cheesiness, which may or may not be more effective. Videos/pictures of severed bodies, torsos lying on the road, blood everywhere, crying and screaming people, etc. State troopers and whatnot would come along to talk with the video. I know we had to watch this in large part due to our health science teacher being a psycho woman that lowkey has a fetish for this shit or sumthin'. Does shock value work instead of cheesiness? Or work better? Yeah, probably. But at the same time, the dumb-asses that drink and drive, text and drive, do 80 in a 55, etc. are going to do it anyway. We had a guy in our class get killed in a car wreck (junior year) because he was doing the latter, and his friends/classmates still talk about how they speed all the time.

 

[Crunchy Leaf]

one time we had an assembly because two kids had a fist fight in the side yard and posted a video of it on youtube and the administration didnt like that

there was a kid at another school near mine who got paralyzed in a car crash and the guy they hit later died. the driver, not the paralyzed kid, only got a year in jail. he was going way too fast on a windy road.

 

[cactus]

The assembly talk reminded me: back in elementary school, there was an anti-smoking assembly. One of the speakers was a guy who lost his vocal cords and at the end, they showed us a cancer ridden lung in a bucket as we walked out.

Also the yearly yo-yo show.

 

[Dolphin Lundgren]

The assembly talk reminded me: back in elementary school, there was an anti-smoking assembly. One of the speakers was a guy who lost his vocal cords and at the end, they showed us a cancer ridden lung in a bucket as we walked out.

Also the yearly yo-yo show.

Does anyone remember the anti smoking ads with the one woman who was famous for having the hole in her neck? Also known as that lady who did that PSA put a cigarette through the neck hole. She spoke at my high school years before dying. It was creepy.

 

[Anonymous For This]

I was a dipshit my first two years of high school and wound up having to take a summer biology course, because I flunked it during the school year.

I've been out of high school for over a decade and have a degree, but still have nightmares that I have to go back to high school, because I flunked another class they didn't tell me about. Fuck me.

 

[PT 940]

The assembly talk reminded me: back in elementary school, there was an anti-smoking assembly. One of the speakers was a guy who lost his vocal cords and at the end, they showed us a cancer ridden lung in a bucket as we walked out.

Also the yearly yo-yo show.

How were they able to bring a lung in a bucket into a school?

 

[Anonymous For This]

How were they able to bring a lung in a bucket into a school?

With their hands.

Dumbass jokes aside, they did the same thing in my elementary school. They had fatty hearts, smoker's lungs, and I want to say there may have been a kidney or something, too. They're just preserved tissues they get from organ donors and then use for educational or research purposes -- because it isn't like anyone wants the heart from an Amberlynn or anything like that.

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

School was so long ago for me, but I'll never forget a particularly exceptional classmate. She was a sped, but integrated into classes with us regular functioning types. Her name was Arrlleenn and exactly the way she spelled it. Big girl with super tard powers and strengths. Her school nickname was "Animal Girl." Most of the kids were deathly afraid of her and would circle wide of her in the hallways and such. But being the exceptional idiots many of us were, some of us would taunt her. Got to be a regular game between classes. A group of us would see her in the hallway and we'd start chanting "Animal Girrrrrrllllll, Animal Girrrrrrrlllll. " She hear that and she'd turn around, lower her head like a bull, and charge us at full bore. And just like the Running of the Bulls, we'd all scatter up the hallways to avoid being gored or trampled.

This shit went on all the time and it became a running school joke until one day, she went full gallop head first into a set of lockers, knocked herself out cold. Everybody sorta just looked at her laying there on the floor, thinking she was dead, then we all scattered like hell before the teachers came. She was okay, as tarded as ever when she came to.

We were some cruel bastards, but hey, we were dorky kids and kids are the cruelest bastards of all to other kids. Which makes me laugh at today's snowflakes that let Intarwebs words "hurt" them.

Spoiler: Animal Girl

From my older than the hills school yearbook:

 

[tasty humane burger]

I have so many school stories because I'm from somewhere very backwards but I'll stick with this stereotypically funny story for the time being but may come back and post traumatic stories from my childhood, lmao.

tdlr; teacher got a boner.

I had this really eccentric drama teacher at school, think Mr G from Summer Heights High and multiply it by 50 and you're halfway there. He was the head of drama, art, music and so on. He was married but rumoured to be closeted gay and also a big predator. Ironically, the long standing rumour was almost confirmed at school when one of my older siblings and friends - who has years on me btw - found some strange pictures of young men on his hard drive, clothed but like...still quite sexual. These circulated and the teacher got off with it by saying he was sent a virus.

Now, I never had drama as a proper examinable subject so my experience with this teacher was mostly in my younger years at high school. He was teaching us how to do stage lights, sounds, etc on this big turntable thingymbob and he starts playing really camp music and breaks out into song and dance. He asks a chubby, cocky boy to join in and it's funny...until...teacher starts grinding the air and literally gets a boner. He ran to his desk so God damn fast after that, it was odd... very creepy but hilarious. I think that whole grouping had another class after that and it was the talk of the whole period. It was so strange. Really surreal.

 

[Anonymous For This]

School was so long ago for me, but I'll never forget a particularly exceptional classmate. She was a sped, but integrated into classes with us regular functioning types. Her name was Arrlleenn and exactly the way she spelled it. Big girl with super tard powers and strengths. Her school nickname was "Animal Girl." Most of the kids were deathly afraid of her and would circle wide of her in the hallways and such. But being the exceptional idiots many of us were, some of us would taunt her. Got to be a regular game between classes. A group of us would see her in the hallway and we'd start chanting "Animal Girrrrrrllllll, Animal Girrrrrrrlllll. " She hear that and she'd turn around, lower her head like a bull, and charge us at full bore. And just like the Running of the Bulls, we'd all scatter up the hallways to avoid being gored or trampled.

This shit went on all the time and it became a running school joke until one day, she went full gallop head first into a set of lockers, knocked herself out cold. Everybody sorta just looked at her laying there on the floor, thinking she was dead, then we all scattered like hell before the teachers came. She was okay, as tarded as ever when she came to.

We were some cruel bastards, but hey, we were dorky kids and kids are the cruelest bastards of all to other kids. Which makes me laugh at today's snowflakes that let Intarwebs words "hurt" them.

Spoiler: Animal Girl

From my older than the hills school yearbook: View attachment 744491

Honestly the included yearbook photo just made the visualization of that story perfect. Can you imagine being born a 'tard and your parents spell your name Arrlleenn? I feel bad for the girl, holy fuck.

When I was in elementary school, we had a similiar 'tard girl at the church I would have after-school at while my parents were at work. She was maximum 'tard. One day we were all on the basketball court and she was running around everyone like she was fucking Sanic. I was just standing there minding my own business when this chromosomally-challenged bitch slapped me across the face at full sprint. My dad came to pick me up and noticed the big ole' welt across my face.

"What in the Hell happened to you?"
"That handicapped girl just ran up and slapped me across the face."
"Hahahaha, did you slap her back?"
"No."
"Probably 'fer the best, boy."

 

[Kari Kamiya]

Spoiler: Animal Girl

From my older than the hills school yearbook: View attachment 744491

Reality is unrealistic.

 

[Big Nasty]

I walked into the bathroom at one point and one of the kids from the special needs classrooms was in there taking a piss with his pants and underwear down to his ankles at the urinal. He turned around while hanging dong and pissing and waved at me as I came in.

Feels good man.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

One of my guy friends saw I was trying to be quiet about something and asked me about it so I told him. We were standing right in front of my lockers and people were getting their stuff to leave school and he just starts yelling about it and asking random girls if they have one and none of them responded other than giving him dirty looks.

Please tell us this wasn't J. Yaniv.

We also called those red, rocket shaped firecrackers that you put on the ground horizontally (instead of straight up like a bottle rocket) "nigger chasers"

This happened at a school's summer recreation program, so this hopefully counts. At one point growing up, the public schools in my city had a six-week program following their last day of school where kids could come from 9a-3p and do arts and crafts, cards/board games; sports, etc. One day, we were going to play kickball on the outdoor ball field instead of in the gym. A couple of kids had found a couple of un-exploded bottle rockets and gave them to one of the adults - a rather chill guy who was well liked and liked leading us in various sports. Wanting to keep the fireworks out of kids' hands and get rid of them as quickly as possible, he got a pylon from the gym, set it up on the ball field, and used it to light off both bottle rockets while we watched from the safe distance he marked off. While this was his way of presumably resolving the matter, the only problem was that someone from the city parks & rec department (i.e. one of his superiors) had happened to be inside the school at the time. I don't remember if he got in trouble, but he was definitely concerned that he would get in some sort of trouble for lighting what was then illegal fireworks around the kids for which he was responsible.

Anyone ever have to go to a super boring assembly?

Even though my K-8 school had dropped most of its sports apart from upper-grade basketball during my time there, we still had 2-3 pep rallies a year at seemingly random times and for no apparent reason. When the cheerleaders called out our grades, we were expected to shout back. However, this quickly degenerated into a screaming match between grades as each class was more interested in who could be the loudest.

In high school, we had similar pep rallies for football. While I get having them the day of our big rivalry game each year, having one of the least-liked social studies teachers grabbing a microphone to lead the school in chanting "We will win! (louder!)" every single time got old rather fast.

One year, we had an assembly arranged by the school's SADD chapter to illustrate how many people die in a 5-6 hour span by randomly taking a SADD member from class at the same interval a teen died from underage drinking/driving over the course of an average day. As I may have previously mentioned elsewhere, these type of assemblies seemed pointless to me. Those students determined to use drugs & alcohol through high school weren't going to stop because of some assembly. Similarly, those not abusing these substances didn't need an assembly to tell them to refrain from something they already avoided.

 

[MysticMisty]

I've got a few assembly stories, but I'll start out with one from third grade. During the height of winter, just before the annual Iditarod race up in Alaska my teacher announced we'd be holding a book-reading competition against our "rival" class across the hall. Every day once the race started we could fill out a form for every chapter or picture book read that had to be signed by our parents. The signed forms woulds then be placed on the wall by our teacher. This went on until one particular musher crossed the finish line at Nome. I don't remember his name, but I guess he must've been from our city or something.

It was pretty competitive but my class had some seriously dedicated readers, myself included. By the time the musher reached Nome my class' forms had not only reached the top of the wall but were a good part of the way across the ceiling, while the other class just barely reached the ceiling.

After that nothing happened, until a week or two later the teacher announced there'd be an assembly in the gym later that day. The time came and we headed into the gym with the rest of the school. At first no one knew what was going on, but then after everyone was there a genuine musher's sled was brought out and placed onto the stage. Sure enough that particular musher came out, along with some (I don't think it was all) of his dogs.

Not only did he talk about the race and answer questions, but also gave special recognition to our class for reading so many books in the time it took him to travel to Nome. It was just a minor thing, but at the time I was super proud to be part of a group recognized for doing something I love to do.

 

[PT 940]

Please tell us this wasn't J. Yaniv.

Thankfully no! However he was the same friend I talked about in two of my other stories here so it's safe to say he's good at making people uncomfortable.

 

[Chichan]

In gym class we had a dance unit so A day B day gym classes were combined. We end up doing the Macarena and the part before you change direction you have to shimmy, but I did it in a way that was perceived as sexual by the boys in my 6th grade class and they started yelling shake it. I was really embarrassed and I wanted to hide. A couple days later when we had gym again we had to wear unflattering gym clothes and one of the popular jock guys was behind me and began to say the same things people had said at the dance I rolled my eyes in disgust. I was a wallflower and a bit of a man hater because of my fear of the opposite sex and other personal matters(obviously I don't hate men now I just still get very nervous and anxious around them). Also I was very insecure when it came to my looks so it was a shocker.

 

[Stardust]

There's a few, but I'll share just one right now.

Freshman year of high school, a guy didn't want to ask to go to the bathroom. Instead he takes a shoe off and pisses in it, then puts shoe back on. Class ends - and this is when everyone learns what he did - with this guy walking with squishy noises and piss leaking onto the floor. He runs out the door to avoid confrontation.

Why did he do this? Guy had social anxiety, so asking anything in public was an ordeal. Though, in my opinion, not as stressful as piss-juiced kicks.

Anxiety be weird, yo.

 

[Tahoma]

There's a few, but I'll share just one right now.

Freshman year of high school, a guy didn't want to ask to go to the bathroom. Instead he takes a shoe off and pisses in it, then puts shoe back on. Class ends - and this is when everyone learns what he did - with this guy walking with squishy noises and piss leaking onto the floor. He runs out the door to avoid confrontation.

Why did he do this? Guy had social anxiety, so asking anything in public was an ordeal. Though, in my opinion, not as stressful as piss-juiced kicks.

Anxiety be weird, yo.

So, he took his shoe off and pissed in it in the classroom?
I'm not sure that would have gone unnoticed.

 

[edibleBulimia]

My favorite art teacher and his favorite prank with some class (didn’t happen to me, he just told us). Gonna type in the same format as last one

-Be art teacher
-Get a buzzed haircut
-Next day come to teach one of the high school classes in the school
-Loudest class, nobody even looks at the door while getting in
-Kid goes up to me and says “Hi Rick, how’s the chemo going?”
-Get amazing prank idea
-Pulls a frown and answers “You wouldn’t make fun of me if you had my disease”
-All colors drain from the kid’s face
-“W-what do you mean?”
-“Isn’t it obvious already?”, answers while crying (faking it)
-Everybody’s paying attention now
-Kid’s already in panic and starts apologizing
-“There’s no need to apologize, I guess I needed to tell you all at some point..: I have cancer.”
-Everybody’s in shock
-Start talking about how I’ve been trying to have courage while going through this
-Almost everybody’s crying now
-Some boys nod with a serious face, almost crying
-All of a sudden, get worried and tell everyone it was a prank
-A girl who was weeping stands up, red from anger
-“My aunt died from cancer last month, you FUCKING BASTARD!”



At the end he said he started crying while she argued with him about his prank. He’s a kick ass teacher (even if he’s a little bit sjw, gave a speech about woman’s rights in the first day of class), he told all about his pranks and if you guys liked it, I might tell some

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

Even though the earlier question asked about boring assemblies, I'll talk about the one high school assembly that was actually enjoyable.

I'm no longer sure if there was some sort of public service announcement that accompanied it, but we had a last-hour assembly in what I believe was my junior year of high school that featured a number of athletes from our area's various pro sports teams. The assembly ended with a friendly basketball scrimmage featuring our school's top male and female athletes scrimmaging the pros.

I have no idea if this part was prearranged in advance or completely spontaneous: as we reached the end of the scrimmage, our boys basketball team's 6 foot 9 inch (2.06 m) center ran out from the bleachers, took a long outlet pass, and drew a raucous standing ovation with a monstrous slam dunk. I believe he added a second one before time expired. I'm not even sure who officially won the scrimmage because those assembled found it more impressive to see our center dunk against a team of pro athletes.