Corrupt-a-Wish

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c-no said:
You get a bag of bloody oranges. Unfortunately, they attract a vampire who runs off with your oranges.

I wish I was at 14 Branchland Court, wearing a bio-hazard suit.
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The suit has small holes in the elbows, knees, and crotch.

I wish I were back in Perugia.
 
trombonista said:
The suit has small holes in the elbows, knees, and crotch.

I wish I were back in Perugia.
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Perugia is attacked by something and you perish in it.

I wish I had a gardening hoe of destruction.
 
c-no said:
Perugia is attacked by something and you perish in it.

I wish I had a gardening hoe of destruction.
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You drop it on your foot and have to get it amputated.

I wish my dog could fly.
 
trombonista said:
You drop it on your foot and have to get it amputated.

I wish my dog could fly.
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Your dog can fly. After a few days of flying around the house, he decides to go higher and higher until he gets sucked into an airplane's turbine.
 
I wish I was more awesome than I already am
 
The Weeaboos develop their own culture quickly by working together and flood the internet with it more efficiently, as a result of their culture not rejecting their bullshit. Also a nuclear incident causes them to mutate and have Touhou god-powers, have fun with neckbeards and fat nerd girls shooting lasers at each other and possibly terrorizing the rest of the world.

I wish I wasn't too lazy to mod Fire Emblem
 
Nirxsachit said:
The Weeaboos develop their own culture quickly by working together and flood the internet with it more efficiently, as a result of their culture not rejecting their bullshit. Also a nuclear incident causes them to mutate and have Touhou god-powers, have fun with neckbeards and fat nerd girls shooting lasers at each other and possibly terrorizing the rest of the world.

I wish I wasn't too lazy to mod Fire Emblem
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You use this newfound drive to make drugs and are killed by police in a shootout.

I wish I was a bear.
 
Ziltoid said:
You become a polar bear. Global warming has ruined your habitat and you drown.

I wish I had a cheeseburger
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You have a cheeseburger but you get a heart attack from it.
I wish I had the power to alter reality.
 
Abethedemon said:
You have a cheeseburger but you get a heart attack from it.
I wish I had the power to alter reality.
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Brother, you alter reality so much that you forget to train, say your prayers and eat your vitamins!

Brother, I wish Bobby Heenan would stop sending his guys after the Hulkster
 
Hulk Hogan said:
Brother, you alter reality so much that you forget to train, say your prayers and eat your vitamins!

Brother, I wish Bobby Heenan would stop sending his guys after the Hulkster
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Andre the giant returns from the grave and challenges you to a tag team match.

I wish I could go on an adventure.
 
exball said:
Andre the giant returns from the grave and challenges you to a tag team match.

I wish I could go on an adventure.
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You adventure into the heart of the amazon rainforest and meet Male, the Prettiest Ween. His unconcentrated, powerful autism kills you instantly.
 
Captain Pronin said:
I wish for a 5th Captain Pronin Episode
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An increasingly senile George Lucas decides to release a big-budget Captain Pronin cartoon. Legions of Captain Pronin fans are waiting with excitement for the animation's release. However, ultimately one factor rendered the animation completely unwatchable... the inclusion of Jar Jar Binks :cryblood:

I wish for a pet guinea pig named Sasquatch. He is very well behaved, but he poops a lot.
 
trombonista said:
You slip on his poop and break your neck.

I wish Rosati's would return to my hometown.
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A Rosati's returns to your hometown. Too bad it shuts down because someone scammed them via a lawsuit and a jar of roaches. The scam artist is arrested but Rosati's will never return.

I wish bronies and furries fought for my amusement in the Roman Colosseum for all to watch.
 
c-no said:
A Rosati's returns to your hometown. Too bad it shuts down because someone scammed them via a lawsuit and a jar of roaches. The scam artist is arrested but Rosati's will never return.

I wish bronies and furries fought for my amusement in the Roman Colosseum for all to watch.
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The realize what they've been doing, and team up. The non-furry/brony population becomes near-extinct due to assimilation.

I wish my computer had a graphics card.
 
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