r/polyamory

[Crunchy Leaf]

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Is this a euphemism for some weird sexual fetish? Otherwise I'm confused.

 

[TheLionSleepsTonight]

I'm pretty sure it's just talking about little gestures to show someone cares, no big hidden meaning.

 

[💗Freddie Freaker💗]

I'm pretty sure it's just talking about little gestures to show someone cares, no big hidden meaning.

I thought they meant "being the first one to touch their dicks".

 

[AprilRains]

I thought it meant "hollow gesture which I can pathetically pretend is a sign of caring".

 

[Chin of Campbell]

I thought it meant "hollow gesture which I can pathetically pretend is a sign of caring".

Hollow gestures by hollow people in hollow relationships, all under the guise of being capable of so much more caring and love than normal monogamous people. I think your take sums the whole shebang up pretty well.

 

[AprilRains]

Hollow gestures by hollow people in hollow relationships

T S. Eliot is shrugging, pulling up his hoodie, and departing to listen to Linkin Park.

 

[Salt_Merchant]

SO do these people have little calendars to denote when exactly its their day to be the one whos getting the attention?

Also if whenever the three of you are together at a group event hes always totally focused on her it means your the side chick/dude

 

[Solzhenitsyn]

SO do these people have little calendars to denote when exactly its their day to be the one whos getting the attention

I was thinking the same thing. They claim their relationships are so healthy and natural yet they dissect it harder than a frog in science class. That doesn't sound natural, it sounds exhausting.
Also, it's yet more evidence that these people don't have friends, only potential fuckbuddies.

 

[Vampirella]

I was thinking the same thing. They claim their relationships are so healthy and natural yet they dissect it harder than a frog in science class. That doesn't sound natural, it sounds exhausting.

I think they suffer from something similar to buyers remorse. They've put so much effort and wasted so much time on a spider web of a relationship that they don't want to admit it was a mistake. They're to scared to give it all up and start over because that's too much work. It's just like those couples that are in a loveless relationship for years only times 3 or 5 depending on how many are in it.

 

[Brain Problems]

That doesn't sound natural

I think that's what get me (almost) as much as their general deviancy: it's the esoteric language they use that attempts to straddle the line between cute and practical to try and normalize the behaviour but that ends up failing completely both ways and just comes across as cold and insular and degenerate. Like when they use the word "date". I am not kidding when I say that the poly people I know have ruined this word for me to the point that when I hear it I instinctively cringe.

I probably wouldn't care half as much about this if they weren't obsessed with talking about it in front of other people as if it was perfectly cool and fine. Nothing says dinner plans like discussing potential STDs some dude you fucked a week ago might have given to you, in the company of family and guests, as if it was like picking up milk at the store.

 

[CamelCursive]

Polyamory isn't a real thing. It's always just some disgusting fat bitch or some weenie soy boy that is so desperate for a mate and limited in options, they're willing to let other people fuck their mate rathet than be alone.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

I think that's what get me (almost) as much as their general deviancy: it's the esoteric language they use that attempts to straddle the line between cute and practical to try and normalize the behaviour but that ends up failing completely both ways and just comes across as cold and insular and degenerate. Like when they use the word "date". I am not kidding when I say that the poly people I know have ruined this word for me to the point that when I hear it I instinctively cringe.

I probably wouldn't care half as much about this if they weren't obsessed with talking about it in front of other people as if it was perfectly cool and fine. Nothing says dinner plans like discussing potential STDs some dude you fucked a week ago might have given to you, in the company of family and guests, as if it was like picking up tard cum at the store.

Worse than "date" is "play date." Shudder.

 

[Tanner Glass]

Worse than "date" is "play date." Shudder.

Worse than that - "Session" and/or "Scene".

 

[AprilRains]

Their pleasure is not my business!

 

[Immaculacy]

It seems like any community centered around discussion and the philosophy of polyamory are just circle jerking in an attempt to justify their degenerate wants and behavior. If you really were in a loving relationship, married, had children (I mean really, some people in these posts really have all that), you'd think that would be enough to satiate. I can understand an unhappy marriage, you end it with divorce or find some means to an end there. People who get roped up into these situations must play some mental gymnastics with themselves to justify letting their partners sleep around. That's psychological torture. But, sexuality is complicated - some even get off to that.

Cuckoldry is truly something I can't understand, and by extension, polyamory, too.

 

[Francis Dollarhyde]

Their pleasure is not my business!

What pleasure? Endless wondering and discussing about every detail of the relationship and making up theories left and right and reading philosophy, hoping all is well and you are doing everything right, all while helping this other dude push so his seed is deep enough in your wife because she wants a baby.

All that effort and thinking, all that time wasted, and for what? So there might be some extra fucking in it for you? Or not. Ask Allison Rap's husband. And for his lack of succes he was pimped out to men.

If that is pleasure, let me sleep and be depressed.

 

[CamelCursive]

Their pleasure is not my business!

"What they do is none of my business" is how we thought about drag queens, and now they're reading storybooks to kids and trying to put little boys in stripper outfits.

 

[sperginity]

the poly idea that you don't have to care about anyone else's feelings is really appalling to me and also makes me wonder what kind of upbringing they had. like in normal people world going out with the guy your friend had a bad breakup with six months ago makes you a jerk. and there's tons of other times when normal people will change their behavior to not hurt their friends because they care about their friends' feelings because why wouldn't they?

there are a few factions within the poly ranks so it is hard to generalize about upbringing. The main split is between people who are gulliable/naive for whatever reason (including autism) and cluster B personality disordered people. Autism and cluster B have immaturity and lack of empathy in common. The normal-empathy doormats of these relationships seem to shuffle in and out of the poly community frequently.

 

[Crunchy Leaf]

Worse than "date" is "play date." Shudder.

I hate when they say 'playing with' to mean 'have sex with'. This frequently comes from bi women dating men who want to get with women--and they wonder why lesbians don't like them!

My least favorite of all is 'kitchen table poly'. Ugh.

 

[vertexwindi]

"What they do is none of my business" is how we thought about drag queens, and now they're reading storybooks to kids and trying to put little boys in stripper outfits.

The Asians were unto something with this whole "saving face" and "bringing shame unto your family and ancestors" thing. Goddammit, we should have listened to the religious wackos!