I'm glad you asked. I think that what "it" is is very likely lupus or perhaps UCTD (so, lupus but without maybe one or two of the diagnostic criteria) and I think that the reason that it's going to end up being terminal is the fact that I don't have access to medical care of any kind at the moment aside from cannabis and whatever supplements and otc aids I can get. It's suggested that lupus killed-- I forget, was it Beethoven? and of course it did because when your body is attacking itself in response to UV light or any of hundreds of other triggers, and nothing can halt the progression of flares, you'll die. I'm certain that I have lupus or an illness that is extremely similar; if I don't have enough clinical markers yet it just hasn't come fully into a flare yet, or perhaps not into a severe enough flare yet. Statistically without treatment (or, before treatment was available) the life expectancy for lupus was 50% at 5 years. Ergo, the likelihood that I will still be alive in 5 years is 50%. Ergo, I'm dying.