Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Jub-Jub]

I thought Benicio Del Torro was confirmed for 9, but upon checking i can't find anything to back that up. It's possible that it's being kept a secret, but it's looking more likely that he was just a waste of time in TLJ and a waste of a good actor overall.

Also by golly, as I'm writing this shit Galaxy's Edge is sounding like a bigger trainwreck than the movie according to reception and what I'm fucking seeing. There's so much new shit to say that I don't think I can fit it all in one post.

Whenever you can, I'd appreciate it. Everything I've read makes it seem like a huge disaster in the making and your posts fill in a lot of the blanks the PR machine is trying to skip over.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Klaud has no confirmed species and his kind has never appeared in anything. He is slated to be comic relief.

Thank fuck we get another utter nobody of an utter nobody-race from an utter nowhere-planet.
And I expect this guy to be neither comedic nor a relief.

IX will delve into the First Order's creation, which means that we'll either get a brief flashback/adaptation of Wendig's garbage, EA's BFII or a retcon that does something completely different with their origin.

Thank god we get a fucking explanation of what the fuck is even going on 3 movies into the trilogy.
It's not like this shit should have taken up the very first minutes of TFA or anything. No siree.
Looking forward to them either making people like Mon Mothma look bad by going with their nuCanon or by coming up with something even dumber and retconning even more of their shitty nuCanon.

I expect this to be along the lines of "Evil white dudes financed evil white-dude-run warmonger companies and slowly build up the FO until it somehow wiped out the New Republic for good". Which would be hilarious, since it would make all of the New Republic look like morons that twiddle their thumbs as they slowly approach damnation.

As such, it seems that aside from Luke's voice, he's practically absent from promotions, and Lucasfilm has confirmed that Luke will not be at Galaxy's Edge in any way shape or form.

50 bucks say that his interviews and some comments he made being used to showcase that even he was unhappy with TLJ made him an unperson at Disney.

 

[Flexo]

Oh your God, how can they be this tone deaf?

Oh wait, I have some park news here myself...

Disneyland Unveils New Star Wars Ride That Builds Up Really High Expectations And Then Lets You Down Halfway Through

ANAHEIM, CA—A newly unveiled ride at Disney's upcoming Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge resort areas will set up really high expectations for guests, only to let them down halfway through the ride, sources confirmed.From signage to decoration to marketing, everything about the ride will set users up for...

babylonbee.com

Her name is Zorry Bliss and she's played by Kerri Russel.

Star Wars has had some bad names sure, but this?

Bad news @Flexo. They replaced Skippy with a generic yellow R2 unit at the altar. I guess they caught wind of our cult scheme.

The jihad is on everyone! @GeneralFriendliness bring that flamethrower...

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

"Zorry Bliss" sounds like a lame background character from Harry Potter.

Then again, with this generation's obsession with that trashheap of books, I wouldn't be surprised if that was where most of the *ahem* creative team behind anything Star Wars nowadays takes their inspiration.

 

[Capsaicin Addict]

First problems started early in Disney's ownership but they were minor, but after one of the heads of Rogue One said that the Empire were white supremacists, shit kinda went south, which made the pretty pro-imperial 501st look bad, which was then followed with infighting over more shit and members started abandoning ship until getting replaced by nu-fans. Also

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/star-wars-griefing-thread-formerly-about-last-jedi.32492/page-313

It doesn't help that Disney is now trying to make their new 709th Legion more popular in an attempt to become a replacement for the 501st.

On another note... wow Some of these Galaxy's Edge stores look way less impressive than the promotional material suggested. Even that Ithorian merchant doesn't look anything like he does in the promotional material, comic covers or merch.

Jesus Christ. I've met guys from the 501st at DragonCon. Amazingly chill and awesome.

Way to fucking go, Disney.

 

[ZehnBoat]

now, i must say i have never searched for anything "guy crying over"
so the fact that this guy is the second suggestion really makes me laugh

the first results that aren't youtube videos are basically "THIS GUY IS TRUE FAN AND BRAVE!"
funny... if he was crying over OT those articles would be "DUMB WHITE MALE CRYING OVER PROBLEMATIC MOVIES" or some shit

but because he likes correct 'product' he's a brave guy for crying like a bitch

 

[neverendingmidi]

Oh your God, how can they be this tone deaf?

Oh wait, I have some park news here myself...

Disneyland Unveils New Star Wars Ride That Builds Up Really High Expectations And Then Lets You Down Halfway Through

ANAHEIM, CA—A newly unveiled ride at Disney's upcoming Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge resort areas will set up really high expectations for guests, only to let them down halfway through the ride, sources confirmed.From signage to decoration to marketing, everything about the ride will set users up for...

babylonbee.com

Star Wars has had some bad names sure, but this?

The jihad is on everyone! @GeneralFriendliness bring that flamethrower...

Babylon Bee is a joke site, like the Onion, though Snopes has fact checked them several times because Snopes is autistic enough to not get sarcasm.

 

[Flexo]

Babylon Bee is a joke site, like the Onion, though Snopes has fact checked them several times because Snopes is autistic enough to not get sarcasm.

I know that. I was posting the joke.

I actually don't blame you, the internet has made sarcasm detection harder and harder.

They are rated as the most trustworthy though.

Snopes Rates Babylon Bee World's Most Accurate News Source

U.S.—As part of a detailed review of prominent online news outlets, a large team of fact-checkers at Snopes.com unanimously voted The Babylon Bee as the world’s most accurate news source, Snopes editors revealed Friday.After reviewing over 1,200 of the Bee’s articles, opinion pieces, and...

babylonbee.com

 

[Creep3r]

Whenever you can, I'd appreciate it. Everything I've read makes it seem like a huge disaster in the making and your posts fill in a lot of the blanks the PR machine is trying to skip over.

Good Lord where do I start...

There's a lot to talk about, but I'd rather cover it based on one ride/store at a time otherwise my posts will be TL;DR. Any particular store or ride you guys want me to start off with? As a heads up, wow, everything is really fucking expensive. Even the simplest lightsaber is like 200 bucks and it doesn't even look that great. Its like it was made in a mexican sweatshop.

Although I should start off with the opening ceremony. Good Lord that was depressing.

They invited George, Mark, Billy and Ford for the ceremony but they looked miserable throughout the whole thing, barely being able to crack smiles except for Iger whose just smiling away like a jackass.

Their smiles and optimism: Gone

They even fucked up Ford's entry cue to "fix" the falcon, which just made the poor guy look silly when he came out early, thus ruining his surprise appearance while Mark just says "oh well". Mark also gave a small speech where he said that Luke was full of optimism and hope and so should the guests, but he couldn't even crack a smile as Iger breathed over his shoulder, and poor guy probably doesn't even realize that Luke Skywalker will not be around as a meet and greet at the park or even mentioned. The whole thing was just awkward and they re-used the cheap Star Tours Chewbacca costume which will serve as the main meet and greet at the park.

What really makes things sad is that this will undoubtedly be the last time the old gang (minus, Anthony Daniels (and Carrie, Pete and Kenny RIP)) will be together again. Thanks for ruining our last chance at classic Star Wars, Disney...

So, what store/ride should I cover first? I got all the pics and all the info. And all of it is bad or mediocre with the exception of one which is so/so. If you have any specific questions about the park, feel free to ask. And if you all are wondering how I know so much, remember that friend I mentioned a few pages who got the annual pass, went into the park without knowing anything and was super excited? Well he's not so excited anymore.

 

[Relic 31]

I would be most interested about the details of the lightsaber shop. Thank you for the detailed information, it’s greatly appreciated.

 

[Muttnik]

I'm also interested in the shitty overpriced food.

 

[Antipathy]

I'm interested in the sniper who is there to make sure Hamill doesn't curl up into a ball and cry over the fact that the character he is most associated with was utterly ruined.

 

[vertexwindi]

View attachment 778068

This picture says everything about Disney Stor Wors you need to know. Nothing to add to those bitter, disillusioned smiles, a thousand words and all that. T-thanks overlord Disney.

 

[CheezzyMach]

It'll be hilarious if this attraction and episode IX both bomb further cementing Iger's legacy as an out of touch idiot who killed Star Wars.

 

[Creep3r]

I would be most interested about the details of the lightsaber shop. Thank you for the detailed information, it’s greatly appreciated.

The lightsaber store was the one I was least looking forward to discussing because there's not a lot to say and it only offers one thing. First off, as I said before, its basically a build your own lightsaber shop but that shit costs over $215 to make.

The store is called Savi's workshop. It is run by the titular Savi, some 20-something guy in goggles and a coat. His acting is really bad compared to most.

This is Savi giving his motivational talk and instructions on building lightsabers. There are four "kyber crystals" to choose from when making your saber, mainly green, blue, purple and red. The store owner acts like the jedi are super important and honorable yet he sells sith crystals which under Disney canon are made by "torturing" regular crystals and making them "cry". So much for Savi's respect for the jedi.

You are constantly monitored and given instructions on how to build it, so its more like a class than a shop. After you build one, you're given the option to buy it at 215 or more depending on which piece or button you used. There's really no real customization. All the lightsabers and their handles don't differ that much from each other (except for one that comes with some kind of horn or tooth), you can only switch and mix minor things like handles and buttons, and their paintjob is shit and they're made from some low quality plastic. Like I said, its pretty cheap looking and most of the ones you can find in regular toy stores or the ones at saberforge are a million times better.

They don't have blades of the retractable cone kind. That's about it. There's nothing else to say about this store. Its small, its cramped but I guess the interior is detailed. My associate says there's a 2 hour waiting period to get inside.

On the bright side, my friend said that while the sabers are shit, the way the crystal shit works may be useful for the saberforge to improve online saber models with crystal action. Only time will tell.

 

[StarkRavingMad]

God, everything about Galaxy's Edge sounds horrible. What a misfire in every way imaginable.

Bob Iger is definitely to blame here. For a while now, he's been wanting to change far too many things about the Disney parks. He has the mentality that "people won't go to an attraction if it isn't attached to any franchise in pop culture," which is ludicrous.

Iger probably has future plans to get rid of things like Soarin', the Haunted Mansion, and Space Mountain somewhere down the road.

 

[Creep3r]

God, everything about Galaxy's Edge sounds horrible. What a misfire in every way imaginable.

Bob Iger is definitely to blame here. For a while now, he's been wanting to change far too many things about the Disney parks. He has the mentality that "people won't go to an attraction if it isn't attached to any franchise in pop culture," which is ludicrous.

Iger probably has future plans to get rid of things like Soarin', the Haunted Mansion, and Space Mountain somewhere down the road.

One thing that notably bugged me about the store is how Savi talks about Rey as real (despite having done jack all) but he refers to Luke as just a legend. Although he later mentions Luke along with Qui-Gon, Yoda and Ahsoka as green crystal wielders, so who knows wtf is going on. He also mentions Maul, Vader and Palpatine as red crystal wielders, Windu as purple and Anakin/Kenobi for blue.

 

[Iceland Heavy]

They invited George, Mark, Billy and Ford for the ceremony but they looked miserable throughout the whole thing, barely being able to crack smiles except for Iger whose just smiling away like a jackass.
View attachment 778068
Their smiles and optimism: Gone

They had the original cast on hand and now Carrie is dead and the only time they brought the others all together is to do this but unironically.

Thank you based Rian for killing any love I had left for Star Wars before this came to pass.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

@GeneralFriendliness What's the reception for the new park so far? I haven't had time to look up at the reviews and what people are saying.

 

[Creep3r]

Before I answer more questions and go into more rants, I'll just mention the few good things at this park since they're so few and easy to list.
1: Despite a lot of shitty vehicles, there are a few familiar ones, like one A-Wing and one landspeeder, however one guy said the landspeeder was Luke's but its actually a different color. There's also some familiar droids but they're all inactive or falling apart. There's also an X-Wing but its blue and has a weird shape to its engines. There's also a tie-fighter but its a First Order one. Initially my friend told me there was a lambda-class ship at the park (Palpatine's escort shuttle from ROTJ) but I saw the pic and told him that wasn't it. Its a weird hybrid of tie-fighter and lambda-class with an imperial color scheme, despite being First Order and its there where Kylo and his troopers hang out. It looks fine I guess.
2: The Expanded Universe store is the only place in the park you can get merch and clothes from the OT and the EU, but its horribly expensive. The only OT shit you can get throughout the park are toys of iconic SW animals, such as plushies of Wampas, Worrts, Taun-Tauns, Frog-dogs and Porgs... Lots of fucking Porgs. Also Chewbacca and Yoda.
3: The detail on some of the buildings is very nice, not very SW-ish, but it has effort.
4: The Millennium Falcon is very detailed, very accurate, however its... not as big as I thought it was. They're also using its look from the sequels, and some of the details on the top are not as accurate as the ones on the bottom. Makes sense that Disney wouldn't go for 100% accuracy on the top since tourists can't see up there.
5: The Bantha cookies taste okay and look cute.
6: The only good actors are the First Order ones.
7: The toys are all shit. Wait, that's not good...

Edit:

@GeneralFriendliness What's the reception for the new park so far? I haven't had time to look up at the reviews and what people are saying.

Mixed to okay. Most common good response I'm seeing "its okay" or "it was fun and that's what counts". If you want a long reviewed that mixed to positive have this: https://makingstarwars.net/2019/05/msws-star-wars-galaxys-edge-visit-part-3/
Edit: Well shit, MakingStarWars is down. I guess they found a juicy leak that was just too juicy.
Edit 2: Its back up.