Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

You know the real question we should be asking isn't "why is disney fetishizing periods and adding gay fucking retarded shit to the lore"....it's "how much money do we need to raise to send Mr. Plinkett to Florida?"

I have no problem basing things around blood, but instead of bleeding vagina blood I want to drink deeply of the blood that comes out of a bitten jugular.

RLM could probably destroy the new park's reputation within a day, just imagine the memes, imagine having something turn out worse than California Adventure or Hollywood Limo.
 
A but off topic but this keeps bothering me in all the Disney nuwars stuff.

Did they collectively forget that green lightsabers are a thing? In all the new crap we only see red and blue sabers, back in the eu we had red, blue, green, yellow, purple, and orange.

To continue my saber autism, is rey the only "jedi" to not build her own lightsaber? I don't count gluing luke saber back together for 9. Every other character I can think of created their own design and a lot of them were reflections of the characters that made them.

Maybe I answered my own question, you require a personality to reflect in a design to have your own design.
 
Do you really think these chucklefucks know a thing about the old EU?
Edit: Just to add to this point look back at that game footage. It's just you with a lightsaber and that's literally it. You aren't a force messiah like the force unleashed apprentice and you dont have a million tools at your disposal like in Jedi Academy or even KOTOR. This game literally expects you to run into a flamethrower to take out a stormtrooper instead of just shooting a fucker. Ripping off assassins creed would have been a smarter decision in this game.
 
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I weep at the creativity of published writers these days when they get handed the keys to the Star Wars galaxy and the best way they can think to add realism while respecting the universe is by putting in women on their periods. Are people like Jonathan Yaniv the main target audience now? Shit man, realism in Star Wars, you'd think they'd add in some hard science fiction elements or even try and rescue ideas like midichlorians. Nope, we gotta go for some gurrrrrl power shit instead.

Polyamory in a primitive society? I don't think that writer ever actually read a single credible ethnography on an actual primitive (very woke term BTW) society since she seems to think they were like a hippie commune of filthy dreadlocked weirdos doing nothing but having sex all day in between taking drugs and being communists. Turns out that in real life, Chief Nbwondakah and others like him wouldn't take kindly to the idea of sharing his wives.
I keep trying to find some sort of explanation or justification online as to why they went with this angle and why they made a complete nobody the star of their new attraction, closest thing I can find to an explanation, which is also the main defense for this, is that Disney wanted a black female lead for something in Star Wars and those who might even ask who the fuck this is are still saying "well she might not seem important to you but she's the first black female hero in Star Wars and she deserves to be the star of this new attraction". But if they wanted to go with this angle why didn't they just make it someone who's actually relevant? Like have her be Lando's daughter or relative, or just use their new black female lead that's coming out in episode 9. And why go through all this trouble of making a sequel oriented park yet not make their precious Rey the star? Instead they choose some random nobody with PMS from an obscure novel about the worst storm trooper ever.

Do you really think these chucklefucks know a thing about the old EU?
Only superficially from what I can tell. They pretty much recanonized all the worst stuff and only brought back a few good things only to rape them or do absolutely nothing with them.
 
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I weep at the creativity of published writers these days when they get handed the keys to the Star Wars galaxy and the best way they can think to add realism while respecting the universe is by putting in women on their periods. Are people like Jonathan Yaniv the main target audience now? Shit man, realism in Star Wars, you'd think they'd add in some hard science fiction elements or even try and rescue ideas like midichlorians. Nope, we gotta go for some gurrrrrl power shit instead.

Meaningful realism would be a good thing and be a quick and easy way to develop characters. For example, we know from the PT that Force-sensitive children were taken from their families upon discovery to begin learning more about the Force with the ultimate goal of training them to be Jedi. Having those children at some point thinking about their family (Who are they? Where did I come from? Do they miss me? Would they be proud of me?) would add a degree of realism and show that despite the daily routines and discipline of Jedi Initiate Studies, they're still kids that think about the things a typical kid thinks about at that age.

For a more concrete example, look at Empire Strikes Back. Luke is initially shocked and appalled at Darth Vader's revelation that the latter is Luke's father. Once Luke is rescued and back on the 'Falcon, he appears to slowly come to terms with the big reveal and I believe he mumbles something along the lines of "Ben (Kenobi), why didn't you tell me?" I found this a realistic reaction to unexpected shocking news -- denial followed by questioning what one had been previously taught or told about the subject.

Instead of any little details that add a meaningful degree of realism, Disney is instead publishing content full of graphic detail that would earn them a flood of horrifying, TMI, or Islamic Content ratings if they made posts about it here. Rhetorically asking, do fans really want or expect content that goes into way too much detail about bodily functions?

Did they collectively forget that green lightsabers are a thing? In all the new crap we only see red and blue sabers, back in the eu we had red, blue, green, yellow, purple, and orange.

The best non-shitpost answer I can offer is that Disney, in ignoring the diversity and vibrancy of the SWU before acquiring it has made everything about it bland including the variety of lightsaber colors. This goes hand in hand with ...

It's weird but I've noticed Disney fans tend to have this bizarre attitude that Disney has the touch of Midas and everything they touch is gold and get rabidly defensive at any criticism of the Mouse.

I'd argue that Disney has the opposite of a Midas touch. Everything they've done so far has taken away what made the franchise golden, especially for long-term fans that have enjoyed it since the first film came out in studios. To reiterate some recent points, Disney ignored the numerous planets, characters, and species the first six films and interstitial media provided and has subsequently reduced lightsaber colors to less than a handful when said colors were plentiful and previously served a purpose or reflected the users' traits in some fashion. Worse, Disney has taken solid OT/PT characters with both great traits and meaningful flaws/struggles and replaced them with characters that are difficult at best to feel a connection with in any personal level. Yet, the most diehard nuWars spergs will immediately scREEch at anyone that offers even the most constructive criticism of any of this.

(...) closest thing I can find to an explanation, which is also the main defense for this, is that Disney wanted a black female lead for something in Star Wars and those who might even ask who the fuck this is are still saying "well she might not seem important to you but she's the first black female hero in Star Wars and she deserves to be the star of this new attraction". But if they wanted to go with this angle why didn't they just make it someone who's actually relevant? Like have her be Lando's daughter or relative, or just use their new black female lead that's coming out in episode 9. And why go through all this trouble of making a sequel oriented park yet not make their precious Rey the star? Instead they choose some random nobody with PMS from an obscure novel about the worst storm trooper ever.

Once again this seems to fall back on forcing real-wolrld diversity into the franchise for diversity and wokeness sake alone. It would be one thing to introduce a character such as Lando's relative -- or even a new character -- that came with a relatable backstory that was released or featured in Galaxy's Edge or other media to pique fan's interest in her appearance in future media such as Episode IX. Instead, Disney seems to have introduced this character as obscurely as possible with little to no fanfare and without any type of promotional campaign to introduce her to fans, teach them more about her, and get them interested in her role (if any) in the coming film. As it stands right now, many people seem to be looking at her and reacting with "Literally, who?"
 
A but off topic but this keeps bothering me in all the Disney nuwars stuff.

Did they collectively forget that green lightsabers are a thing? In all the new crap we only see red and blue sabers, back in the eu we had red, blue, green, yellow, purple, and orange.

To continue my saber autism, is rey the only "jedi" to not build her own lightsaber? I don't count gluing luke saber back together for 9. Every other character I can think of created their own design and a lot of them were reflections of the characters that made them.

Maybe I answered my own question, you require a personality to reflect in a design to have your own design.

Ezra counts as nu-SW I guess and if I recall correctly, we also see a Temple Guard with a yellow Lightsaber in Rebels, but outside of comics, everybody has blue or red sabers
I was absolutely sure they'd give Rey a double-bladed Lightsaber or a lance similar to the boss guards from Force Unleashed. It would just make sense to give somebody who is showcased having experience with quarterstaffs such a weapon, but no, we need to somehow make Luke's Lightsaber reappear after it fell into a gas planet. At least have her nigger-rig it to a quarterstaff or something, she can easily repair starships already, but she can obviously fight with a Lightsaber too for whatever reason. And then Rian just destroys it anyway to subvert some more expectations.
 
Meaningful realism would be a good thing and be a quick and easy way to develop characters. For example, we know from the PT that Force-sensitive children were taken from their families upon discovery to begin learning more about the Force with the ultimate goal of training them to be Jedi. Having those children at some point thinking about their family (Who are they? Where did I come from? Do they miss me? Would they be proud of me?) would add a degree of realism and show that despite the daily routines and discipline of Jedi Initiate Studies, they're still kids that think about the things a typical kid thinks about at that age.

For a more concrete example, look at Empire Strikes Back. Luke is initially shocked and appalled at Darth Vader's revelation that the latter is Luke's father. Once Luke is rescued and back on the 'Falcon, he appears to slowly come to terms with the big reveal and I believe he mumbles something along the lines of "Ben (Kenobi), why didn't you tell me?" I found this a realistic reaction to unexpected shocking news -- denial followed by questioning what one had been previously taught or told about the subject.

Instead of any little details that add a meaningful degree of realism, Disney is instead publishing content full of graphic detail that would earn them a flood of horrifying, TMI, or Islamic Content ratings if they made posts about it here. Rhetorically asking, do fans really want or expect content that goes into way too much detail about bodily functions?



The best non-shitpost answer I can offer is that Disney, in ignoring the diversity and vibrancy of the SWU before acquiring it has made everything about it bland including the variety of lightsaber colors. This goes hand in hand with ...



I'd argue that Disney has the opposite of a Midas touch. Everything they've done so far has taken away what made the franchise golden, especially for long-term fans that have enjoyed it since the first film came out in studios. To reiterate some recent points, Disney ignored the numerous planets, characters, and species the first six films and interstitial media provided and has subsequently reduced lightsaber colors to less than a handful when said colors were plentiful and previously served a purpose or reflected the users' traits in some fashion. Worse, Disney has taken solid OT/PT characters with both great traits and meaningful flaws/struggles and replaced them with characters that are difficult at best to feel a connection with in any personal level. Yet, the most diehard nuWars spergs will immediately scREEch at anyone that offers even the most constructive criticism of any of this.



Once again this seems to fall back on forcing real-wolrld diversity into the franchise for diversity and wokeness sake alone. It would be one thing to introduce a character such as Lando's relative -- or even a new character -- that came with a relatable backstory that was released or featured in Galaxy's Edge or other media to pique fan's interest in her appearance in future media such as Episode IX. Instead, Disney seems to have introduced this character as obscurely as possible with little to no fanfare and without any type of promotional campaign to introduce her to fans, teach them more about her, and get them interested in her role (if any) in the coming film. As it stands right now, many people seem to be looking at her and reacting with "Literally, who?"
Heck if they wanted to make a literal nobody the star of their new park all they had to do was make some actual material that focused around her to promote the park right before release. Like announce that maybe she's in 9, give her her own episode on that shitty resistance cartoon, feature her in the trailers for the park, make a short special based around her, make her the star of a video game, anything really but instead they settle for a very minor character from one obscure story that was released in 2017 to be the star of their new 3 billion dollar theme parks. Hell the only thing they got planning for her are just two books which aren't even scheduled for release until August. I mean would it make more sense for them to release those books before the park is open? Is this further proof that Disney was in a rush to get this park open which is why some things look like they're still in the works and why they didn't wait for the media that shows where this park is from to come out?
 
If you're going out of your way to make a convoluted original character for a theme park it seems like it would have made more sense to be something more congruous with being in a theme park, like an alien so you just slapped the costume on the worker rather than needing to cast a particular body type and facial structure and shit.
Like, write it to be features not bugs. Cyborg protocol droid parts so xe speaks 6 million languages and that's why the voice sounds different all the time and synthetic, I dunno.
It's like they're so fucking lazy in ways that eliminate opportunities for laziness later.
 
The character was made from a marketing perspective.

Marketers don't think of things in terms of "hey that's interesting I want to see more or explore more of it" or "that's cool I'd want to go there" or "that character is interesting I want to see where their story goes and how they act".

They think "look at all the likes we can get on social media and have people signal boost us for free" "the character is just like our twitter followers they'll have to like her". Essentially they're banking on narcissism.

The entire fucking brand of Star Wars is probably being managed this way because of how Marvel is sucking up all the glory. Kennedy only cares about feminism and having things associated with feminism. It reminded me of the old 1960's logic of 'if men could get pregnant they would make it be cool or manly" and other brokebrain retardation. Like they never questioned the mechanics of pregnancy and why it's a vulnerability.

They make a character based around period blood which is stupid. Like did George Lucas make Darth maul and have his appeal come from not shaving his pubes? Like have all his strength come from his unshaved dick jungle sort of like Samson? No Lucas made Maul because he wanted a cool bad guy that would appeal to people because he looks menacing.


Then again do you think Darth maul's pubes were normal hair or spikes like his hair? Maybe thats why they cut him in half.
 
Once again this seems to fall back on forcing real-wolrld diversity into the franchise for diversity and wokeness sake alone. It would be one thing to introduce a character such as Lando's relative -- or even a new character -- that came with a relatable backstory that was released or featured in Galaxy's Edge or other media to pique fan's interest in her appearance in future media such as Episode IX. Instead, Disney seems to have introduced this character as obscurely as possible with little to no fanfare and without any type of promotional campaign to introduce her to fans, teach them more about her, and get them interested in her role (if any) in the coming film. As it stands right now, many people seem to be looking at her and reacting with "Literally, who?"
So it's good old 1990s tokenism only instead of people getting pissed about empty pandering and stereotyping like they used to it's instead praised by mindless idiots on Twitter.

I fucking hate my generation.
 
I keep trying to find some sort of explanation or justification online as to why they went with this angle and why they made a complete nobody the star of their new attraction, closest thing I can find to an explanation, which is also the main defense for this, is that Disney wanted a black female lead for something in Star Wars and those who might even ask who the fuck this is are still saying "well she might not seem important to you but she's the first black female hero in Star Wars and she deserves to be the star of this new attraction".
At least we now have the reason why you can't wear anything starwarsy at the parks. Looking at that video she doesn't stand out at all and looks like your average run of the mill blue haired harpy. I'm sure that some people who wear the allowed generic browns, etc that you were talking about could be mistaken for an employee before this chick.
 
Honestly, she doesn't even look like the character from the book, who was slightly pudgy and middle aged. So the few people who actually bought the book won't even be able to recognize her at first glance.
D8a-Sf4WwAU63WM.jpg
latest

Although to their fucking credit she actually almost looks like an SW character now instead of a Vox writer (even if the overabundance of highlights under nu-Wars is getting grating).

And then there's this...
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Well looks like she won't live long. Also its kind of embarrassing to be running around being someone nobody knows and people think you're a crazy or dedicated fan with nothing better to do.

Also here are more tweets from her creator (and for those who want to see Moradi's stage show and her "recruitment" videos, they're on the last page).
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Anyway, on to Droid Depot.

Its a small store that really doesn't scream "droid factory" on the outside. However it has a long line so you'll be able to tell where it is by that and also by asking the employees or looking at your map or GE app. The waiting period for the line for most is around 30 minutes or less for the time being which may increase after June.
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The depot is a "Build a Bear workshop" but with remote control droids that make sounds and respond to "codes" at the park. The store lets you build 6 droid models which are R2 units (R2-D2's obviously), R3 units (R3s are the ones with transparent heads seen in backgrounds), R4 units (R4s are the ones with the tallest heads we see irregularly in backgrounds), R5 units (R5-D4 aka Skippy's model aka "bad motivator" droid), BB units (the soccer balls), and R6 units (a droid model from the old EU that first appeared in the Shield of Lies novel in 1996, with the droid making its debut in Disney canon here).

All 6 of these models are in pieces on a conveyor belt. Upon entering the store (you and one guest) you will be given a basket and told to head to the belt, there you can pick the pieces for your droid. They come in several colors. Once you assemble all the piece you will go to a building station where an employee will take you through a step by step tutorial. Upon assembling the main body via an electric screwdriver, you will pick out "coverings" for the exposed area of your droid (which are different colors). Once that's done, you put it in a little "activation" spot that glows red. From there its a regular remote controlled toy that makes noises. Its designed to make special noises while within the park when it passes by special signs, however (as I've said in a previous post) you cannot use the droid in the park. You can carry it with you but you can't drive it around unless the guards are feeling lazy.

There's also a pre-built R2-D2 toy that's different from the others because its "interactive" and not a regular rc toy but its around the same size as the others.

Here's a shot of the belt with random pieces thrown around:
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But here's a pic from a promotional event displaying all the pieces in the store in all their available colors:
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Not pictured here is the R5-D4 head, the R3 head, the white body and the black R4 head.

And here we have the R2-D2 toy.
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All the droids and the complete R2-D2 toy costs 99.99 (107 with tax).

The store is "run" by an alien called Mubo, except he doesn't exist as a character. The park employees in the store mention him but he doesn't really exist in any way. All that's known comes from promo material which said he was an utai (the short orange guys from Revenge of the Sith from planet Utapau).

The store has a 45 minute wait limit. So you only have that long to finish the droid and window shop.

There's more merch and shit to discuss but I'll get to that in a bit.
 
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I weep at the creativity of published writers these days when they get handed the keys to the Star Wars galaxy and the best way they can think to add realism while respecting the universe is by putting in women on their periods. Are people like Jonathan Yaniv the main target audience now? Shit man, realism in Star Wars, you'd think they'd add in some hard science fiction elements or even try and rescue ideas like midichlorians. Nope, we gotta go for some gurrrrrl power shit instead.
Geez.
Why not make it more realistic by having some important character, in the middle of a tactical briefing, stand up, go "Sorry, guys, need to take a dump, will be back in a sec" and then have sounds of bullet-diarreah echo through the spaceship.

How mentioning that periods exist empowers women I will never understand. At least they didn't make Vi Momorin- Mado- Mur- Whatever, that Vi-woman a freebleeder. Yet.

So it's good old 1990s tokenism only instead of people getting pissed about empty pandering and stereotyping like they used to it's instead praised by mindless idiots on Twitter.

I fucking hate my generation.
Tokenism usually had said characters in supporting roles and only doing minor stuff. Like that black friend one of the protagonists would have, that shows up from time to time.
Tokenism2.0 is kind of on the next level. The "black friend" is the accessory to the show itself and its protagonist. It's really strange, blatant and pathetic. And it fills me with sadness that so many people buy into it cause they think they support diversity or equality, when all they do is consume product without asking questions, then consume new product.
 
Wow; that design and pathetic shilling for some toilet paper just makes me glad that Disney's not making much on the not-movie side of things, since she feels like a sad cosplaying idiot in both picture and drawing form. I don't see her as a character at all, and I actually could've seen Holdo as one (albiet a Peter Principle'd mildly incompetent noblewoman officer who has connections but can't lead).

Fuck the Build a bear thing. Why not have a laser tag arena as a First Order Stormtrooper barracks/training. Then you can sell to the masses stormtrooper armor via a "quartermaster too". The Resistance version also can work too. Then you can have things like 16 v 16 simulated dogfights in X-Wings and TIE fighters, a Dave and Busters style Arcade based on the Casino Planet, maybe a bomber simulator too where you're expected to die. Have a haunted house based on Han's smuggling job in Force Awakens where you have to run from escaped monsters, and maybe the castle-cantina thing as a restaurant/bar/entertainment. Shit, you could even do Jedi Training with a Luke impersonator and the kids then split to lightsaber each other when the Kylo impersonator goes Sith and they just have fun whacking swords and stuff while wearing padding.

It says a lot when a duo of nerds can shit out better ideas for Galaxy's Edge late at night and just bullshitting while just using Nu-Wars than corporate can. If Disney weren't even bigger insecure cucks about using their property, we had even more ideas using the OT, but even using the NT was doable.
 
I mean, it's not like you couldn't do all of those things just using the OT instead, including a bomber sim over the Death Star or the Executor, an alien zoo that was damaged in an Imperial raid as a haunted house, Luke's Endor Jedi Academy, or even Prequel Jedi training.

If you look over this thread, in between all the bitching, it's the nerds (such as myself) proposing ideas on how the park could kick serious ass. Would all of these things combined cost a shitload? Probably, yeah, but if our suggestions were reality the hype for IX would probably be through the roof rather than nonexistent, and VIII and VII would have sold even better than they actually did, since positive word of mouth buoyed it.
 
I mean, it's not like you couldn't do all of those things just using the OT instead, including a bomber sim over the Death Star or the Executor, an alien zoo that was damaged in an Imperial raid as a haunted house, Luke's Endor Jedi Academy, or even Prequel Jedi training.

If you look over this thread, in between all the bitching, it's the nerds (such as myself) proposing ideas on how the park could kick serious ass. Would all of these things combined cost a shitload? Probably, yeah, but if our suggestions were reality the hype for IX would probably be through the roof rather than nonexistent, and VIII and VII would have sold even better than they actually did, since positive word of mouth buoyed it.
Well the challenge was to stick to Nu-Wars for a reason; there was less amazing rides you CAN do in it because the movies for Nu-Wars didn't really put too much down for the planets plot or scene wise because of their pacing. If we included OT stuff, some ideas included:
  • A three rollercoaster set-up. Single Rail and designed to be a speeder bike you ride on; you whizz by real and fake trees either as a Rebel or one of the two Storm Troopers chasing you styled as Endor.
  • A sci-fi take on a train ride where you dodge Tuskan Raiders and eventually are taken hostage by Jabba in his palace before being freed up by a cleared cheque to him.
  • Jabba's palace in general as a bar/arcade.
  • Dexter's Diner as a 1950's inspired diner with all the classic fixins.
  • Jedi Temple Museum with animatronic yoda explaining shit to you.
  • Bongo water ride as you avoid droids firing at you and giant fish.
  • Simulation where you do the trench run on the Death Star.
  • Podracing go-karts.
IE a more functional park. But you can still get some decent shit out of Nu-Wars; Disney just couldn't bother with it and the Imagineers clearly didn't care (don't really blame them beyond some minor spergery too tbh).
 
Wow; that design and pathetic shilling for some toilet paper just makes me glad that Disney's not making much on the not-movie side of things, since she feels like a sad cosplaying idiot in both picture and drawing form. I don't see her as a character at all, and I actually could've seen Holdo as one (albiet a Peter Principle'd mildly incompetent noblewoman officer who has connections but can't lead).

Fuck the Build a bear thing. Why not have a laser tag arena as a First Order Stormtrooper barracks/training. Then you can sell to the masses stormtrooper armor via a "quartermaster too". The Resistance version also can work too. Then you can have things like 16 v 16 simulated dogfights in X-Wings and TIE fighters, a Dave and Busters style Arcade based on the Casino Planet, maybe a bomber simulator too where you're expected to die. Have a haunted house based on Han's smuggling job in Force Awakens where you have to run from escaped monsters, and maybe the castle-cantina thing as a restaurant/bar/entertainment. Shit, you could even do Jedi Training with a Luke impersonator and the kids then split to lightsaber each other when the Kylo impersonator goes Sith and they just have fun whacking swords and stuff while wearing padding.

It says a lot when a duo of nerds can shit out better ideas for Galaxy's Edge late at night and just bullshitting while just using Nu-Wars than corporate can. If Disney weren't even bigger insecure cucks about using their property, we had even more ideas using the OT, but even using the NT was doable.
The short version when it comes to the attractions in GE:

What we got:
Lackluster crap
What would have been better:
Literally anything else
 
Well the challenge was to stick to Nu-Wars for a reason; there was less amazing rides you CAN do in it because the movies for Nu-Wars didn't really put too much down for the planets plot or scene wise because of their pacing. If we included OT stuff, some ideas included:
  • A three rollercoaster set-up. Single Rail and designed to be a speeder bike you ride on; you whizz by real and fake trees either as a Rebel or one of the two Storm Troopers chasing you styled as Endor.
  • A sci-fi take on a train ride where you dodge Tuskan Raiders and eventually are taken hostage by Jabba in his palace before being freed up by a cleared cheque to him.
  • Jabba's palace in general as a bar/arcade.
  • Dexter's Diner as a 1950's inspired diner with all the classic fixins.
  • Jedi Temple Museum with animatronic yoda explaining shit to you.
  • Bongo water ride as you avoid droids firing at you and giant fish.
  • Simulation where you do the trench run on the Death Star.
  • Podracing go-karts.
IE a more functional park. But you can still get some decent shit out of Nu-Wars.
Great ideas, but I think the train ride would be the most promising, but instead of a space train it would obviously have to be on a sandskiff or a sail barge from Tatooine. A Sail Barge would be the most effective.

3 billion dollars (more than half of what it cost them to buy the franchise) down the drain on this and overpriced merch.

I mean, it's not like you couldn't do all of those things just using the OT instead, including a bomber sim over the Death Star or the Executor, an alien zoo that was damaged in an Imperial raid as a haunted house, Luke's Endor Jedi Academy, or even Prequel Jedi training.

If you look over this thread, in between all the bitching, it's the nerds (such as myself) proposing ideas on how the park could kick serious ass. Would all of these things combined cost a shitload? Probably, yeah, but if our suggestions were reality the hype for IX would probably be through the roof rather than nonexistent, and VIII and VII would have sold even better than they actually did, since positive word of mouth buoyed it.
Alien zoo
That right there is a genius concept. Hell even I might've gone to that shitty park if I got a chance to see banthas, anoobas, webweavers and sarlaccs in their full glory in cages/tanks (as animatronics of course), and as a haunted house is even better, having a wampa, boar-wolf or rancor just suddenly attack would actually be something thrilling. But nope.

Anyway, as for the Droid Depot, I did find something rather amusing. Remember those BB-8 toys that were released after TFA? I posted about them many pages ago in that some of the companies that made them went bankrupt and moved onto something else within Disney and that they had a shit ton of leftover BB-8s. And that if you bought the app-controlled BB-8 toy, its effectively useless since the app for it has been discontinued. Well apparently the Droid Depot is selling one of these leftover BB-8 toys except now its been modified with a "personality chip" feature.
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Personality chips are basically the voice boxes for the droids in the store. There's 3 chip models, First Order, Resistance, and Smuggler, and each of the 3 chips comes in 2 versions for voice tones. Chips don't really do anything other than change the tune of your droid. The only other thing they do is that, for example, if you have FO chip, your droid will make excited sounds when it passes by the FO docking area and if you put an FO droid in front of a Resistance droid, it may make angry sounds. That's about it, but these features aren't fully functional as some reviews (including my associate) have said that they pass their droids by the areas or opposing droids but they usually don't react if at all.
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Here are the chips.

Now onto the merch. The majority of the shit sold is mostly keychains, pins, patches, headbands, shirts and hats of BB-8, R2-D2, random circuitry, the Star Tours droid and a Battle Droid as the sole prequel rep. Oh... and L337... Thankfully L337 doesn't get her own merch outside of one shirt and a pin. I have some pics of them, but I want to see if I can find a better picture that has all the clothing merch shown at once. As such I'll try and be back soon if I can find it. If not, I'll just post the pics I got, that is if you actually want to see the clothes since honestly there's really not much to talk about other than the headbands which come with small droid heads that light up.
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On another somewhat related note I guess, some fat e-celeb with his own thread on the forums called Quinton Reviews went to the park and there are some pictures of Oga's menu on the thread there and a video review (with a roach) if you want to see that.

The Cantina prices are no laughing matter and the review in question seems to really rag on the park yet the guy still went out of his way to buy a shit ton of Disney crap for some reason.
 
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