Having Children

[ASoulMan]

I feel like there's already so many people on this planet and so many kids that don't have families, so I'm more likely to adopt somebody than to actually have one.

Not saying I'd start a family though. I want to live out my life first before settling down.

 

[Fashhole]

Late, I know.

My boyfriend occasionally gives me a big speech about "one life to live; I want to pass my genes on" and all that shit so honestly this is a question that just inspires fear because I lean towards "no" for multiple reasons. I tried to talk to him about ending our relationship early on when this difference came to light be neither of us wanted to, so there's that.

I'm Tokophobic, firstly. Secondly, I have minor Autism (you could put me in the "recovered" category if you believe in that), Major Depression, and my body's a lemon so I feel great about my odds of having a healthy, normal kid with little/no problems at all. But I value the utility of kids in older age, and I really can't come up with a better plan for dealing with that other than "have a kid, (s)he'll take care of me." Might backfire with my winning genes, though.

I'm more confused than anything I just don't know.

 

[Mmm....GoesDownSalty]

Nope, nope, and nope.

 

[RetardBus]

Being someone who likes to travel and spend nights out on the town a lot, I can't say I'd ever like to have children. I could definitely see myself getting married once I've been with a woman for awhile and want to settle down with her, but that's a completely different story if you ask me.

Another thing that's really scared me away from having children, that's definitely a little more personal is my parents getting divorced when I was still very young. That time in my life was hell on earth for me and scarred me for life, and I would never want another child to possibly go through something like that.

Plus I'm worried about having a kid who ends up being a complete psycho or has a bunch of issues they hide from me. I'm just so worried that if I tried to be a father, I'd screw it up somehow without knowing it, no matter how good I may seem at certain aspects of it to someone else.

 

[Dalish]

I've always wanted to have children but there's no way that's feasible in the next few years.

I'm afraid of rushing into it and being financially ruined before the kid is old enough to walk. Money has always been a prime concern of mine in regards to childrearing so having a nice savings account would be nice. Aside from that, I'm afraid of having a kid that'll hide everything from me.

Kids = yay but not for a while.

 

[GRANDnumberofMULTIPLES]

Nope. I don't think I'd be a good mom, I don't want them, and YOU CAN'T MAKE ME.

In all seriousness, passing on my form of bipolar disorder would be fucking traumatic to everyone involved. It would be dangerous for me to try and have a safe pregnancy because the only medication that keeps me awesome results in heart defects and the risk/reward for me going off is... not worth it. And the fact that Mr. Multiples also does not want kids.

Spoiler: gross

I also did have an accidental pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage when I was 21 and still taking the pill. To be fair I did follow the instructions after missing two (eg, missed 1-2 days you're good, if 3 days use protection) but like the doc said, there is always that small fraction of a chance. Also turns out another medication I was taking also affected how much of the pill was being absorbed. It was a miserable three months that happened to coincide with my last three months of college so ALL the weird shit I was doing was easy to write off as stress. Like shoveling a Chipotle burrito into my face in five minutes. Bad acne when I'd literally never had more than a zit or two before. I would not go through that willingly again.

It's always seriously bothered me how people insist that I'll change my mind and want to pop 'em out like grapes like it's some "I told you so" argument.
But I am totally cool with being an aunt.

 

[Conrix]

I'm of the school of thought that I'd rather adopt children to teach about the world, than get someone pregnant to pop them out, for a few reasons.

1) The world is overpopulated
2) Parents keep bringing stupid shitbags of all shapes, sizes, and psyches to eat up the Earth's resources, and seem to encourage their offspring to pop out more stupid shitbags to leech our resources while contributing nothing but stupidity in return, just to keep their DNA going.
2.5) I don't care about "MUH FEELINS", I'm constructing this argument based on cold, hard, borderline sociopathic logic.
3) I could choose whom I dub "Tylcrax" or "Gerandxil"*, it's not determined by my fucked up genetics that cause whomever has them to want to drive a hatchet in someone's skull just for saying the wrong thing. I could just find a child who seems to have Asperger's and seems reasonably intelligent to raise as my own, fill the paperwork out, and try to not be an abusive dickless fuckwad, while offering any kind of wisdom and experience under my belt that can make him/her turn out to be a good, intelligent member of society.
4) Seriously, look at the size of Earth's human population before you tell your kids to pop out grandkids. If anything you should tell them to get sterilized before your "old-fashioned" ideals make it to where we're throwing rocks at 60 billion people for a scrap of moldy bread.

Sorry if I sound harsh but as a species capable of thoughts and views, and believing that we have free will, we shouldn't be so damn careless with our own population. The phrase "Too many cooks spoil the broth" comes to mind.

*Before anyone says they're fucked up names they're derived from Crystal and Reginald respectively, and they're only used hypothetically because I'm pretty sure that naming your children with Organization XIII names is a form of child abuse somewhere in the universe.

 

[NobleGreyHorse]

Not only no, but hell no, for a lot of the reasons people have listed: finances, health, a need for downtime/alone time to accomplish certain things, a visceral dread of pregnancy, and not wanting to further drain an unpopulated earth.

This wasn't something I only realized about myself recently; when I was little, I never wanted to play house, either as the mom or the kid. My sister always wanted to play house or school, as the mom or the teacher, and was very good at it, and today is a secular-homeschooling mom who is very good at it. She has two kids who are great and whom I enjoy spending time with. I will be seeing them this week for Christmas and will adore it. Then I get to come back home and sigh in relief.

 

[Gerion]

Nope, not doing it. Hate kids, too vain, too broke, too invested in things like warehouse raves and youth culture. I'm the age my mom was when she had me, and still very much a kid myself.

 

[Charlie's Chaplin]

I'm unsure as of yet. I might want to have children in the future, but at the same time I wouldn't them to inherit any of my mental disorders. They run pretty deep in the family; back in the 18th century one of my relatives went mad and drowned himself in the village duckpond!

Still, after Christmas I've got an appointment at a fertility clinic about storing my baby batter. Once I'm on hormones I'll be as barren as the Gobi desert.

 

[Secret Majora]

I'm more likely to adopt than pop out any gremlins of my own.

Even though people have babies almost everyday, there's a fuckton of poor children out there without a family. When I get older, I'd like to give some lonely child a home and become their mom.

 

[Space_Dandy]

This is a topic that my wife and I talk a lot about, and I'm still undecided.

Once upon a time I was sure I wanted to have kids, it seemed like the rest of my adult life would be somewhat empty without it. Also it was what everyone would be expecting of me. The thought of actually raising a child myself though and teaching it about the world excited me too.

While in college I hd a complete change of heart and decided that I surely would never have children and would only date women who also didn't want children. I was learning more from my friends with kids about how much work it is, how it changes and restricts your life, and how it is a 24/7 commitment. Also the amount of money it costs to raise a kid in America these days is unholy and absurd.
Plus I generally agree with this:

The bigger reason for me personally is that I do believe in doom and gloom. I think, for various reasons I won't bore you with, that the future is going to be a very dark and miserable place for all but the very elite (ie rich).

So I met my sweetheart in college and 5 years later (2014) we got married. As soon as we got engaged her biological clock started ticking apparently because she suddenly thought having kids would be a great idea and that she wants to have a little me around. This is incredibly flattering and sweet, but it is a total change from what she said when we were dating. In a way I agree with her, the idea is growing on me a little, but I am still about 85% in the No camp. The big reason right now being the money because my job situation sucks currently and it doesn't look like its going to be getting much better any time soon.

Plus I still feel like we have to live for us for awhile and live as a married couple with a house. Get used to this stage of our lives before stacking MORE on our plates. If it takes too long before the "clock" is up then I guess it wasn't meant to be.

 

[Educated Stupid]

No way. I'd make an awful parent, to be honest.

Not that it can happen anyway.

 

[Red_Rager]

I want to have kids someday, but for right now I can't support them. As a full time college student in debt, I don't have the time and resources to give a child the attention he or she deserves. While my parents said they are willing to help if an oops happens, but I don't see that as honorable to place that responsibility on them.

Children are not accessories, they are independent sentient entities who will develop their own thoughts, dreams, hopes, and ambitions which may or may not conflict your values. Once you have a child is your responsibility to ensure your kid has the skills to survive adulthood, not to create a mini-me. As of right now, I can't give my hypothetical child that kind of care right now at least not without calling in a lot of favors.

 

[Juggalo Jesus]

I'm conflicted on whether I would ever want kids or not. On one hand, I think raising another human being and being instrumental in their life would be a beautiful thing. Conversely, I am afraid of raising a child in the world how it is today. There are so many bad things in the world, that I would feel responsible if anything truly horrible happened to them, like it is my fault for failing to protect them.

I have a few more years before I even have to consider children, so maybe my views will change.

 

[Red_Rager]

I'm conflicted on whether I would ever want kids or not. On one hand, I think raising another human being and being instrumental in their life would be a beautiful thing. Conversely, I am afraid of raising a child in the world how it is today. There are so many bad things in the world, that I would feel responsible if anything truly horrible happened to them, like it is my fault for failing to protect them.

I have a few more years before I even have to consider children, so maybe my views will change.

There has never been a period of time where the world was a utopia. Shit happens and yet humanity has survived. The world today has some things going better for it then in the past. People have greater understanding of the mentally ill and they are not possessed by Satan, they have a legitimate medical condition that should be addressed. We have better sanitation reducing the spread of disease, and better medical care then in the past. We have better communications leading people from all over the world to talk to one another leading to friendships that would not otherwise exist.

I think people accentuate the negative more by focusing on always what is wrong instead of what is going right, especially the mainstream media. Take a look here:
http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/
There is a story about some Muslim groups donating $100k to help people in Detroit without water, and how a tatoo shop owner spending years of his life helping the homeless and the addicted. In spite of all the darkness in the world, there is is light and even you too can bring more light into the world.

 

[Datiko]

Having children isn't that bad if you prepare; I knew it was going to happen so I started planning once I began working. My job pays a lot better than most but I took a lot of hardship to get to a point where I could afford to give a child everything it needs without compromise. We badly want to have a second child but its just not possible to give two children the same opportunities on what our family has now.

 

[sm0t]

It's none of my business if other people like kids, want kids, have them, etc. But I have a very low tolerance for children under 9 (and even then it's a case-by-case basis), and even the idea of being pregnant gives me a deep feeling of revulsion and this is how I've felt since I was 10.

 

[Konstantinos]

The prospect of having kids is frightening. Its a strange concept, raising your own offspring to continue human life. Its the most meaningful legacy most people leave of themselves. I think I'll hold off on it for now. Knowing me, I'd probably end up reenacting Eraserhead in real life if I tried now.

 

[Connor Bible]

I'm torn on this issue. As much as I'd like to start a family years from now, I am afraid that I wouldn't be an adequate father, or that my children, biological or adoptive, could inherit my genetic or psychological hang-ups, effectively creating Connor 2.0. The kid might even be born with mental or physical disabilities that will severely hinder them in life.

What concerns me about my generation is the aura of uncertainty. Our future appears to be bleak, our culture is rotting from within, and day by day, empathy seems to be dying off in favor of selfishness, security and apathy. The War on Terror, once considered a just and noble conflict that we could all support, has devolved into one giant clusterfuck of a shaggy dog story. One look at the highest grossing movies of recent years is enough to make one lament for the dearth of quality and originality in our culture. The Internet has lost much of its usefulness as a utility, becoming a haven for stupid memes and vice. To make a long story short and to be somewhat humorous, my generation would provide great backstory for a post-apocalyptic novel.