Peter Coffin, his realdoll/fake girlfriend Kimi Kobayashi, and his estranged wife Ashleigh Coffin - Cis Male Cuck, Pretend Agender; Kicks Self in Balls, Sockpuppeted as Own GF, RAPE APOLOGIST, plus his ex-wife

[Ausyarr]

I'm still sticking with the theory that there is a real woman and real doll. Hes a closet gay and this woman has helped peter not look gay by pretending to be his partner and peter in turn pretends to be the farther. The real doll was used setup a back story so it would look to the outside word this relationship didn't come out of thin air. The Dolls mouth get covered up because its a tell and the real girl rarely appears and rarely shows her face because she is having a relationship with someone else and doesn't want their partner to know shes fake married to peter.

Imagine if you were pretending to someones partner so they wouldn't be called out as gay but you still wanted to see others. There has to be enough evidence to convince people that peter is married but not so much as to prevent one from pretending the doll is someone else so you can see others.

This is why there is no video of them together, the other man could see the video and start asking the wrong questions.

Oh here is another video of peter kicking self in the nuts only not on national tv and far more sad.

 

[BT 075]

Ashleigh is as real as any of Chris' sweethearts.

Pete's going to ridiculous lengths to prove her existence, though. Reminds me of a pathological liar from my country who lied to his friends and family about having fathered a child. When met with disbelief, he "borrowed" the son of a friend and took him to the pub to see his friends. When he was close to being found out, having had a few "close calls", he pretended the kid had died by falling from the stairs. He even went to the crematorium, and had a private goodbye ceremony attended only by himself. The attention the "mourning father" received inspired him to write a book, "The Little Blonde Death". It became a pretty big success, was made into a movie and bombarded the compulsive liar into a celebrity.

Long story short, the man did not have a happy ending. It must be very stressful to live a lie, and live in constant fear of it being found out and you being exposed as the fraud that you are. Stress is bad for the heart, and he died in his early fifties of a heart attack. The whole story was then revealed to be a fabrication. He never had a wife, a girlfriend, or a son and made everything up. When they cleaned out his house, they found a little framed picture of a boy. It was the son of his friend.

Which is why I am pretty sure that Peter will never own up to his bullshit and continue to tell his own lie until he begins to believe it himelf. If he doesn't already. Mental illness is tricky business.

 

[AnOminous]

Oh here is another video of peter kicking self in the nuts only not on national tv and far more sad.

Why? Just. . .why?

Is this some new SJW thing? Some kind of beta version of Jackass? Or just this guy being an absolute mong for no reason?

 

[PsychicFish]

Why? Just. . .why?

Is this some new SJW thing? Some kind of beta version of Jackass? Or just this guy being an absolute mong for no reason?

It seems to have been a "thing" a couple of years ago. I guess we used to call them silly fads in the past, like spraying lighter fluid on yourself and setting fire to it while stood in the shower. People will do anything for attention these days.

 

[meatslab]

I just love that no matter what scenario is the correct one of what's going on with this dude, they're all batshit insane.

 

[Springer]

Well this .gif image made me laugh. (just to note, I did not make this .gif image, just saved for here)

I still believe there is the real wife who is the Lady with braces and who has smaller breasts, and the doll/photo shops. And that the 'humour' on the blog is PC's terrible non-humour.

 

[ATM]

So...Is the conclusion that he just has a really odd girlfriend with body issues?

That's the incredibly boring conclusion that I've personally arrived at. I'm still having fun reading all the wilder theories though.

 

[PsychicFish]

Well this .gif image made me laugh.

I still believe there is the real wife who is the Lady with braces and who has smaller breasts, and the doll/photo shops. And that the 'humour' on the blog is PC's terrible non-humour.

It's kinda surprising that the head pose would match up once you adjust all of the images rotation so that the head matches up, after all, my eyes are all over my fucking face when I take photos.

 

[Springer]

It's kinda surprising that the head pose would match up once you adjust all of the images rotation so that the head matches up, after all, my eyes are all over my fucking face when I take photos.

You keep your Eyebrows and Pupils in virtual exact place over every Foto you take? That must take efforts for something like a simple selfie.

 

[PsychicFish]

You keep your Eyebrows and Pupils in virtual exact place over every Foto you take? That must take efforts for something like a simple selfie.

Not exact, but near enough, my relaxed eyebrow position is pretty static, I think most people's would be.



In fact, I just did it to two images of myself, now, I don't take a lot of pictures of myself, so these two were 12 years apart. Once rotated and scaled for my nose and eye position/size, my eyebrows match exactly

 

[tehpope]

Well this .gif image made me laugh.

Now all you need is Call On Me and you got yourself a YTMND!

 

[The Lone Wanderer]

Eye size is inconsistent, body/breast size is inconsistent, eyebrows shape is inconsistent. It's the shoopening!

 

[Lurkingjay]

I just love that no matter what scenario is the correct one of what's going on with this dude, they're all batshit insane.

Christ, you've got that right. I just finished reading this thread, and... what the fuck is going on? Every alternative offers more questions:

* If Ashleigh is fake/a realdoll, why are there real government records that match her name, a blog that extends back before she allegedly met Peter, and apparently real Facebook accounts for her family that seem to think this is legit? If it's a con, it's a long, careful con. (To be fair, that Facebook post from his mother-in-law seems fake as hell. Who names their son-in-law by name in a post like that and otherwise belabors the point that much?)

* If Ashleigh is a real person but doesn't actually live with Peter and may or may not be married to him, why does her family assume they all live together? This may actually be the most logical solution -- "she married Peter for a green card/to cover up an accidental pregnancy by someone else/whatever reason, he married her so that he could brag about having a hot nerd wife, she's lying to her family and supplying Peter with a weird supply of fakey photos to help build legitimacy" is a convoluted chain of events, but it's not actually as fucking insane as the realdoll theory, and it requires way less effort from Peter. That said, there's still one issue...

* If Ashleigh and Peter are actually married, especially if they actually live together and are a family, why can't anyone produce even a single not-fakey photo or video? If Peter and Ashleigh live together, it beggars belief that they can't cut a quick 15-second video where they and the baby are all in the frame at once and all obviously human. Even if they don't live together and the marriage is a sham, you'd think they'd at least prop things up with a wedding photo and a few candids where they're together, instead of Peter photoshopping himself into Ashleigh's extremely awkward-looking selfies. (Hell, don't INS officials expect these things as part of the process of demonstrating the validity of a marriage to get a green card?)

I think what really gets me about this is that, if Ashleigh is fake, this is an incredibly high-effort fake job: taking a name that would show up in real Scottish government records, creating social-media accounts with substantial activity that goes back years, setting up a realistic doll and doing stop-motion videos... and all this coming from a guy who, a year or two ago, couldn't be bothered to differentiate between Korea and Japan in his fake-girlfriend photos and wrote "dialogue" that sounded like him talking to himself. Unless he's gotten massively better at this or was playing a long con all along, it honestly seems most likely that there's at least a real Ashleigh involved in this, even if her photos are massively 'shopped and she and Peter won't do anything even slightly convincing. It's bizarre even by the standards of Internet performance art, that's for sure.

Tangential speculation time: is it possible Ashleigh is photoshopping her pictures so rabidly because of baby weight? I know every woman's body is different, but it isn't remotely plausible for her to have gained all her weight in the boobs and nothing in her hips or waist, and like someone mentioned, her waist looks even smaller than it did pre-pregnancy. If we assume that Ashleigh really is that self-conscious (and that Ashleigh really did have a baby, because who knows how far down the rabbit hole goes), that might explain the insane 'shopping. A little. Kind of. Seriously, what the hell?

 

[blackie toy]

If Ashleigh is a real person but doesn't actually live with Peter and may or may not be married to him, why does her family assume they all live together? This may actually be the most logical solution -- "she married Peter for a green card/to cover up an accidental pregnancy by someone else/whatever reason, he married her so that he could brag about having a hot nerd wife, she's lying to her family and supplying Peter with a weird supply of fakey photos to help build legitimacy" is a convoluted chain of events, but it's not actually as fucking insane as the realdoll theory, and it requires way less effort from Peter. That said, there's still one issue...

I'll add another permutation: Ashleigh is a real person and does not live with Peter, but all the family accounts, etc. are phony. Which is even more psychotic.

The marriage record is what throws me most of all though. I mean, it's not like it's hard to get married in Clark County, Nevada, but the record almost certainly means there was a real person somewhere... and I really doubt Coffin is so into this to phony up whatever ID would have been necessary to create a fraudulent marriage record.

I mean... that sounds like felony-tier shit, and I don't care how retarded this guy is, I just don't see someone committing a serious crime just to fuck with people on the internet. Sure it's been done for dumber reasons, but it's like the Jace ruseman theories... it just doesn't fit.

 

[Lurkingjay]

The marriage record is what throws me most of all though. I mean, it's not like it's hard to get married in Clark County, Nevada, but the record almost certainly means there was a real person somewhere... and I really doubt Coffin is so into this to phony up whatever ID would have been necessary to create a fraudulent marriage record.

I mean... that sounds like felony-tier shit, and I don't care how retarded this guy is, I just don't see someone committing a serious crime just to fuck with people on the internet. Sure it's been done for dumber reasons, but it's like the Jace ruseman theories... it just doesn't fit.

Has it been verified that the marriage record wasn't a 'shop? Because that would be my first assumption, but I also haven't looked at it myself.

It really seems like the most sensible theory, insofar as any of these theories are sensible, is that Peter Coffin really did marry a Scottish woman named Asheigh Burt for some kind of mutual benefit, and both of them are willing to maintain that the relationship is real (so she can get a green card? So he can get Internet cred?), but that there's probably no real romantic relationship and they don't live anywhere near each other, and they're also probably both some degree of weird or mentally unwell. Is there a real baby? Why is every article of "proof" completely devoid of any sense of Ashleigh being human? Why did Peter think that a Vine where he and his wife never show up in the same frame, and his wife is wearing a Darth Maul mask while shaking a baby (?!), would be proof of his family situation? Who the hell knows, man.

 

[blackie toy]

Has it been verified that the marriage record wasn't a 'shop? Because that would be my first assumption, but I also haven't looked at it myself.

The website he linked legitimately returns a record for his name. The only possibilities that come to mind are that the site is fake (doesn't look fake), there's been a divorce, it's a different Peter Coffin, or it's somehow legit.

It really seems like the most sensible theory, insofar as any of these theories are sensible, is that Peter Coffin really did marry a Scottish woman named Asheigh Burt for some kind of mutual benefit, and both of them are willing to maintain that the relationship is real (so she can get a green card? So he can get Internet cred?), but that there's probably no real romantic relationship and they don't live anywhere near each other, and they're also probably both some degree of weird or mentally unwell. Is there a real baby? Why is every article of "proof" completely devoid of any sense of Ashleigh being human? Why did Peter think that a Vine where he and his wife never show up in the same frame, and his wife is wearing a Darth Maul mask while shaking a baby (?!), would be proof of his family situation? Who the hell knows, man.

It's really risky to not be living together or at least close together when doing a green card marriage. It's not unheard of, but it's risky.

 

[RV 229]

Guys, this is what a realdoll looks like.

Spoiler

Notice the synthetic skin and hair, dead expression, and glass eyes. Yeah, they're the most realistic dolls on the market, but they still look like mannequins. He probably either stole pictures off of somebody's facebook, or took pictures with a hooker. (Which is helluva lot cheaper than a realdoll, just throwing that out there.)

 

[superthermite]

Someone posted this gif in one of the /cow/ threads. Doll or not, it's pretty creepy how they're all the exact same facial expression and eye position.

 

[Lurkingjay]

It's really risky to not be living together or at least close together when doing a green card marriage. It's not unheard of, but it's risky.

Yeah, that's a sticking point to the theory, or just an indication that they really don't know what they're doing. Like I mentioned in that first post, I'm pretty sure the INS expects really thorough proof that a couple has married in good faith, to the point that a lot of real couples can struggle to prove it if they don't have enough of a paper trail or act affectionate enough when interviewed; a couple who aren't living together and can't produce even a single non-photoshopped picture of themselves together don't have a chance.

 

[blackie toy]

Yeah, that's a sticking point to the theory, or just an indication that they really don't know what they're doing. Like I mentioned in that first post, I'm pretty sure the INS expects really thorough proof that a couple has married in good faith, to the point that a lot of real couples can struggle to prove it if they don't have enough of a paper trail or act affectionate enough when interviewed; a couple who aren't living together and can't produce even a single non-photoshopped picture of themselves together don't have a chance.

I joked about doing a green card marriage with a girl a few years ago. She started telling me about all the shit ICE does to verify you're seriously getting married before granting the green card. Separate interviews, borderline embarrassing questions, home visits... basically everything they can do without violating your civil rights, they will do.