حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Pine Tar]

Late, but I saw that Connor likes A Clockwork Orange. I think I found his favorite scene from that movie.

 

[TheAmazingAxolotl]

So, I may have just written my magnum opus.

Here is the complete work.

Spoiler: Redesigning Connor

 

[Cosmos]

Another fine threadjacking by our petulant. Mr. Bible.

Spoiler

View attachment 14676

Connor: God hates me.
Nice person: God doesn't hate you!
Connor: Wow, I don't even believe in God. Are you trying to convert me??? Take this advice back to your imaginary friend: SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Oh my God, Connor, the edginess of that exchange nearly killed me. Seriously, I'm bleeding to death and just had to call 911; I'll try to send you my hospital bill but I don't know if I'm going to make it.

But seriously, as a Catholic, one of the easiest ways you can get me to completely disregard you is by calling God my "imaginary friend" or something like that. You don't have to believe in God, but talking down to and insulting those who do is a really shitty and disrespectful thing to do. Especially to someone who's just trying to make you feel better.

I've noticed that about you a lot, honestly, and not just regarding theistic topics; it seems like every single time someone is kind to you and tries to help you, you just rudely ignore them or throw their consideration back in their faces. You'll never be happy if you actively try to make the people around you miserable.

 

[Surtur]

Connor: God hates me.
Nice person: God doesn't hate you!
Connor: Wow, I don't even believe in God. Are you trying to convert me??? Take this advice back to your imaginary friend: SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Oh my God, Connor, the edginess of that exchange nearly killed me. Seriously, I'm bleeding to death and just had to call 911; I'll try to send you my hospital bill but I don't know if I'm going to make it.

But seriously, as a Catholic, one of the easiest ways you can get me to completely disregard you is by calling God my "imaginary friend" or something like that. You don't have to believe in God, but talking down to and insulting those who do is a really shitty and disrespectful thing to do. Especially to someone who's just trying to make you feel better.

I've noticed that about you a lot, honestly, and not just regarding theistic topics; it seems like every single time someone is kind to you and tries to help you, you just rudely ignore them or throw their consideration back in their faces. You'll never be happy if you actively try to make the people around you miserable.

You seem pretty decent, something Connor does not understand.

 

[Cosmos]

You seem pretty decent, something Connor does not understand.

I like to think I am, yeah. I generally just try to be kind to those around me, help whenever I can, and treat others the way I'd want to be treated. That's why Connor annoys me; he actually disparages people like me for not being 3edgy5me cynics who wallow in self-pity because WAH NOTHING MATTERS!!!!

 

[Hat]

Connor: God hates me.
Nice person: God doesn't hate you!
Connor: Wow, I don't even believe in God. Are you trying to convert me??? Take this advice back to your imaginary friend: SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Oh my God, Connor, the edginess of that exchange nearly killed me. Seriously, I'm bleeding to death and just had to call 911; I'll try to send you my hospital bill but I don't know if I'm going to make it.

But seriously, as a Catholic, one of the easiest ways you can get me to completely disregard you is by calling God my "imaginary friend" or something like that. You don't have to believe in God, but talking down to and insulting those who do is a really shitty and disrespectful thing to do. Especially to someone who's just trying to make you feel better.

I've noticed that about you a lot, honestly, and not just regarding theistic topics; it seems like every single time someone is kind to you and tries to help you, you just rudely ignore them or throw their consideration back in their faces. You'll never be happy if you actively try to make the people around you miserable.

What's worse is that a number of the spergs on Wrong Planet actually encourage his behavior.

 

[GV 002]

Before I knew what Connor looked like, just from reading all the posts, I always thought he looked like this -

Spoiler: Fucky you

It's as best an image as I can find of a bloated, existentialist frog. Just needs an eye patch, I think.

EDIT - Connor to me from now on will be known as Frogger.

 

[Ruin]

Hey Connor having any luck breaking your chronic masturbation habit?

 

[FramerGirl420]

Before I knew what Connor looked like, just from reading all the posts, I always thought he looked like this -

Spoiler: Fucky you

It's as best an image as I can find of a bloated, existentialist frog. Just needs an eye patch, I think.

....eerie...

 

[Cosmos]

What's worse is that a number of the spergs on Wrong Planet actually encourage this behavior.

Looking at Connor's Wrong Planet post history is just kinda fascinating. He's done so many things that would have gotten him banned elsewhere, even here at Kiwi Farms:

• Posted a lot of misogynistic hate speech, including "All women are cheap whores," "Women disgust me," and point-blank said "I hate all women."
• Posted about stalking a classmate. The thread was insanely creepy and uncomfortable, complete with Connor going off on serial killer-like rants about how we would get the object of his obsession "no matter what" and how he would "make her pay" or embarrassing him.
• Actually attacked his fellow forum members; he's said things like "Shut the fuck up," "Fuck off," "Fuck you," etc to other members. 100% of the time this was completely unwarranted and uncalled for.
• Constantly derails threads and/or steers conversation towards himself.

His behavior towards the other users alone would have gotten him banned in other places. Most places enforce strict rules about etiquette (meaning "Don't start slap fights with the other members" and "Don't derail a thread with a stupid argument"), including this place. I understand that Wrong Planet probably has different rules considering that the vast majority of its userbase is autistic, but still. Connor's blatantly antagonistic and, the more excerpts Smutley posts, the clearer it is that the Wrong Planet userbase is getting really fed up with him.

 

[Molly Ringwald]

Posted a lot of misogynistic hate speech, including "All women are cheap whores," "Women disgust me," and point-blank said "I hate all women."

I guess I must be a man then. WILLY POWER!!!!!111!!1!

 

[Ruin]

If they banned people for being embarrassing spergs though they would quite literally have to ban 80% of their users.

 

[Hat]

If they banned people for being embarrassing spergs though they would quite literally have to ban 80% of their users.

That's exactly it. If you make a forum dedicated to the idea of letting spergs be spergs, you'll run into some trouble pretty quickly

 

[HG 400]

But seriously, as a Catholic, one of the easiest ways you can get me to completely disregard you is by calling God my "imaginary friend" or something like that. You don't have to believe in God, but talking down to and insulting those who do is a really shitty and disrespectful thing to do. Especially to someone who's just trying to make you feel better.

Agreed. As somebody who doesn't believe in shit, terms like "imaginary friend" and "fairy tales" is enough to make me instantly assume the user is an overweight fedora with autism who posts about friendzones and beta cucks on reddit. And I doubt I'm ever wrong.

 

[Meowthkip]

You know what Connor's Wrong Planet posts remind me of?

When I was 11 or 12 years old, I went into a roleplaying chatroom. For some reason I got it into my head that good roleplay involved lots of drama and death, and I wanted my character to die tragically. I demanded that somebody kill me.

Everybody was weirded out by this, but somebody finally did, and I made my character die in a very melodramatic fashion, in a pool of her own blood, just as I had wanted.

Nobody cared. They just went back to what they were doing.

Connor's posts on Wrong Planet where he whines about how miserable he is and lashes out at anybody showing him kindness reminds me of that.

 

[Cosmos]

If they banned people for being embarrassing spergs though they would quite literally have to ban 80% of their users.

And again, I totally get that, but I've lost count of the number of times Connor's told another member to fuck off or just blatantly insulted them. There's being autistic and then there's being glaringly antagonistic towards everyone who looks at you wrong. I mean, for goodness' sake, Connor snapped and screamed at people who only told him to stop stalking the poor girl who was afraid of him.

I dunno, it's just weird to me. It's incredibly cringeworthy, too.

 

[Ruin]

And again, I totally get that, but I've lost count of the number of times Connor's told another member to fuck off or just blatantly insulted them. There's being autistic and then there's being glaringly antagonistic towards everyone who looks at you wrong. I mean, for goodness' sake, Connor snapped and screamed at people who only told him to stop stalking the poor girl who was afraid of him.

I dunno, it's just weird to me. It's incredibly cringeworthy, too.

Maybe they keep him around for the lulz like we do? Connor strikes me as an outcast even among losers.

 

[TM Ambrose]

So let's talk about what we've learned about Connor since verifying him:
He is super gullible
He stalked a girl in a similar manner as OPL
Similar to OPL he has dramatic punishment fantasies against the girl after she rejects him
He doesn't get why stalking is bad
If you be nice to him he'll be a hateful ass to you
If you're mean to him he'll be a hateful ass to you
He doesn't understand shameless self-promotion
Everyone else is tired of his shit too
When he can't plagiarize from existing materials he ask people for material he can plagiarize
Redesigning Eva will totally be a best seller one day guys
Connor is afraid of outside
Connor is a whiny fat faggot
Nobody enjoys putting up with his shit, but some put up with it because they're spastic and don't get the whole misunderstood genius act is an act to cover up his totally understood retard act
Nazism had ethos
Soldiers are like Nazi's. All of them. Even if only a few do fucked up shit they must all want to do fucked up shit.
If anyone does anything bad in their past it's okay to compare them to Nazi's even if they admitted it was fucked up
If Connor does anything bad in his past it's not okay to compare him to a Nazi because he admitted it was fucked up
Connor thinks he's changed over 2 days
Never changed
Connor has done nothing of note ever in his life time, and proves this in a resume that takes him 5 days to complete
Racism is okay
Racism is still okay!
Black people = gorillas lol so funny and edgy lol
If he takes criticism one day, don't worry, he'll be back again tomorrow to fuck it all up again because you dared criticized him
Connor is gullible
Connor sucks at math
Connor barely ever gets out which leads me to believe he sits at his computer all day turning it into a cumputer. (get it, he has a masturbation addiction)

 

[Sonic Hoo]

Before I knew what Connor looked like, just from reading all the posts, I always thought he looked like this -

Spoiler: Fucky you

It's as best an image as I can find of a bloated, existentialist frog. Just needs an eye patch, I think.

EDIT - Connor to me from now on will be known as Frogger.

Now I'm imagining a game of Frogger where the frog refuses to cross the street and can only move sideways until time runs out, while defeatist Connor quotes scroll along the bottom.

 

[GV 002]

Now I'm imagining a game of Frogger where the frog refuses to cross the street and can only move sideways until time runs out, while defeatist Connor quotes scroll along the bottom.

Holy dick, someone less tech-illiterate than me needs to make this shit happen!

I imagine the traffic going by being composed of stuff like trucks with 'GoC Ice Cube Co.' and 'MR Navel Oilers' on the side. Maybe the odd billboard in the background advertising the new Molay Ringworm movie, 'Wrong Planet'.