حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Arkangel]

I actually find myself becoming really annoyed any time Connor brings up Molly Ringwald.

Like, I appreciate that you're giving an older actress this much attention, because Hollywood doesn't treat older actresses very well, but damn, dude.

Chill.

But what if Molly loses everything and becomes homeless? Who will care for her if not Connor?

I'm imagining a Role-Reversal version of Stephen King's Misery.

 

[TM Ambrose]

It never fails to amuse me that Connor uses tvtropes trope names on other sites, and even capitalizes them to draw attention to the fact.

I always found tv tropes to be a boat load of autism. Connor is a great example of this.

 

[Meowthkip]

But what if Molly loses everything and becomes homeless? Who will care for her if not Connor?

I'm imagining a Role-Reversal version of Stephen King's Misery.

Oh God no please don't.

 

[Cosmos]

There are so many habbenings in the world today - Chris has court, Sick Nick getting potentially partyv&d, Golden Knight being dead, Jace getting the front page on Gawker - it can make your head spin!

But you don't come to this thread for habbenings. You come for comfort, for simplicity, for consistency. You come for Connor, who is the Tomato Soup and Grilled Smegma of lolcows.

Lucky Part 13 of Wrong Planet coming up

Connor needs to hire a bunch of voice actors (or kiwis who can imitate celebs) and dub dialog in for Godzilla movies.

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I wasn't going to post yet another spergy thread about Molly with broken youtube links but god damn it Connor you will die if people don't pay attention to you, won't you?

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Spoiler: Youtube links

[Broken link]
[Broken link to The Stand Miniseries]

[Broken Link[

(in an unrelated thread)
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Even though Connor has referenced Brett Easton Ellis, compared himself to him as a writer, and quoted American Psycho, Connor hasn't read anything by him as of 2011 - 2 years since he's been doing it.

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The thread in which Connor is a racist asshole about his friend and the other posters encourage him

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The thread in which Connor admits everything we all already know

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Connor is a misogynist again (and slips up about dating that pot head )

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More pityfishing

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More chronic masturbating

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If Connor lost 150lbs and moved more than the distance from his computer to the fridge, he could basically be Jace

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@Smutley, you are amazing and a real trooper for slogging through Connor's posts to give us quality posts, but every time you unload a new helping of Connor's autism/misogyny/Molly Ringwald obsession/etc I feel like someone's just punched me in the face. Just... damn, Connor. Please just fucking relax. It's gotten to the point where I don't laugh at his posts anymore, I just cringe. Of course, that doesn't stop me from reading each and every one of them because I'm determined to finish what I started.

I always found tv tropes to be a boat load of autism. Connor is a great example of this.

I'm actually obsessed with TV Tropes; it's really a fantastic website and you can easily waste hours at a time just clicking from link to link (so basically it's a funner Wikipedia). However, a lot of its userbase are rather Connor-esque. The main site isn't that bad because the mods can be pretty strict, but the forums are an absolute nightmare. I avoid them at all costs.

Slightly off-topic, but one of my very first lolcows was a girl named Starprincess801. She's rather tame compared to most cows, and from what I've heard she's gotten her act together (which I'm happy about), but I still have a rather big soft spot for her. Anyway, she was a "soulbonder," or a person who could bond with fictional characters (which she claimed were real, only they existed in a parallel dimension or something). She called her soulbonds her "guardians" and had at least 84 of them. Eighty fucking four. Anyway, she made a thread that described her soulbonding experiences in detail on the TV Tropes forums and I vividly remember that basically everyone who posted there indulged her and, in some cases, actually seemed to believe her. The whole time I was reading through it, I could stop thinking "You know this is all fake, right? And that you're enabling someone who's really delusional?? Maybe you should not?"

That's kinda the TV Tropes forums in a nutshell, it seems. People will believe/indulge you no matter how crazy you sound. It's kinda like Wrong Planet in a way.

 

[MarineTrainedTard]

The thread in which Connor is a racist asshole about his friend and the other posters encourage him

"Papist"? Jesus Christ, is it 1853 during the Irish Potato Famine? Is Connor some kind of old money WASP robber-baron in Tammany Hall?

 

[harvey dirdban]

some shit about Molly Ringwald stomping on cats

What the fuck, Connor?

 

[FramerGirl420]

@Smutley I rated your latest info dump as 'Feels' based alone on this post.
Connor, you bully! Why must you say these things? Now anytime I try to watch House, one of my favourite tv shows, I won't be able to shake the mental image of you wanking it.
Bully!

 

[TM Ambrose]

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@Smutley I rated your latest info dump as 'Feels' based alone on this post.
Connor, you bully! Why must you say these things? Now anytime I try to watch House, one of my favourite tv shows, I won't be able to shake the mental image of you wanking it.
Bully!

The fucked up part about this is that that whole sequence is a dream and it's followed by house brutally cutting someone open.

 

[Molly Ringwald]

But what if Molly loses everything and becomes homeless? Who will care for her if not Connor?

I'm imagining a Role-Reversal version of Stephen King's Misery.

Don't worry, my career is nowhere near dead enough for me to end up on the streets.

 

[FramerGirl420]

The fucked up part about this is that that whole sequence is a dream and it's followed by house brutally cutting someone open.

My soul is flatlining as hard as that imaginary patient after reading through this thread.

 

[The Knife]

@Molly Ringwald Thank you for the excellent flourless chocolate cake recipe you sent me! You were right; it was delicious.

 

[Molly Ringwald]

@Molly Ringwald Thank you for the excellent flourless chocolate cake recipe you sent me! You were right; it was delicious.

You're very welcome. I like flourless chocolate cake because it's so much sweeter.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

Connor needs to hire a bunch of voice actors (or kiwis who can imitate celebs) and dub dialog in for Godzilla movies.

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Connor thinks that having Samuel L. Jackson voice King Kong carries unfortunate implications---but he's okay taking Barney the black orderly from Silence of the Lambs & turning him into a fucking talking gorilla?

@The Knife u seein this m8

 

[Molly Ringwald]

Connor needs to hire a bunch of voice actors (or kiwis who can imitate celebs) and dub dialog in for Godzilla movies.

Funimation needs to dub Godzilla. I will not accept a world where Godzilla is not voiced by Todd Haberkorn.

 

[MysticMisty]

IIRC Wrong Planet is a website for autistics to gather and discuss things that interest them, and also autism. Thus, there's a higher tolerance for socially-inept nonsense, I imagine.

EDIT: and I'm not using "autistics" sarcastically, it is literally a forum for autistic people.

Evidently female spergs and autistics aren't allowed seeing as how Connor is allowed to make all of those fucked up misogynistic comments and rants and nobody called him out once. I don't know why it didn't occur to the founder that just because you're autistic doesn't mean nobody is never allowed to call you out on atrocious behavior ever. I hate people like that.

 

[harvey dirdban]

Evidently female spergs and autistics aren't allowed seeing as how Connor is allowed to make all of those fucked up misogynistic comments and rants and nobody called him out once. I don't know why it didn't occur to the founder that just because you're autistic doesn't mean nobody is never allowed to call you out on atrocious behavior ever. I hate people like that.

I've only had limited contact with the WP community but their put-up-with-everything policy is why I left. Placing autistic people above basic standard of decent conduct is such bad PR for autistics and not a sustainable way to run a community at all.

 

[YI 457]

Perhaps I was wrong. This Molly Ringwald is beginning to strike me as genuine, with her short log-ins and inexperience with Teamspeak. If she were an imposter operating under the direction of the Farms, what would they possibly gain from the ruse outside of some rather mean-spirited lulz?

 

[HG 400]

You're very welcome. I like flourless chocolate cake because it's so much sweeter.

Sorry, could I possibly get that recipe too?

"Papist"? Jesus Christ, is it 1853 during the Irish Potato Famine? Is Connor some kind of old money WASP robber-baron in Tammany Hall?

But how does he feel about celestials, mohammedans and blackamoors?

 

[GV 002]

Sorry, could I possibly get that recipe too?

Can I third this? I've never made a flourless cake before!

 

[Pine Tar]

But how does he feel about celestials, mohammedans and blackamoors?

And what of the Orientals, the quadroons and the octoroons? And the Hindus?