Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

Then the moron just needs to sell his site for whatever he can get or else just hand it off to someone else. As it is Lowtax is the worst possible choice to manage SA given that he barely gives a fuck about SA aside from the money people keep shoving into the bottomless pit that is his life. Even the weird motherfuckers on his own website would rather see him replaced, because it can’t possibly be a good look for them when the guy they pay won’t stop being problematic on Facebook or keeps on howling out the word nigger over and over on his podcast.

Even his own fucking paypigs consider him to be a stupid piece of shit holding their hugbox hostage. He will also never pay for an actual coder.

He missed the boat on that one. He wouldn't get anything worthwhile for the forum, and probably better for him to try to coast on the declining revenues until retiremen, mixing wine & ambien kills him, or he gets his inheritance.

SA is a dying forum built on bloated legacy code. In the early and mid-aughts, SA was revolutionary in its software and features. You couldn't get that shit anywhere else. Rounding 2020, SA is behind the times. Lowtax never reinvested into updating the code, and because so much of the code is custom, there's no path to get to modern software.

There's a pretty decent userbase, obviously retarded enough to keep throwing money, but it is in constant decline. Any buyer who isn't as retarded as the userbase will also know that once you change the familiar UI, tons of inertia eyeballs will be lost.

Whatever paltry sum he could get for SA would also have to fend off challenges from Chinkwife, and he's got the inevitable divorce with Maple Wife to look forward to as well.
 
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SA is a dying forum built on bloated legacy code. In the early and mid-aughts, SA was revolutionary in its software and features. You couldn't get that shit anywhere else. Rounding 2020, SA is behind the times. Lowtax never reinvested into updating the code, and because so much of the code is custom, there's no path to get to modern software.
I think at one point he said he was going to update to XenForo, but later said he'd never do it because he hates the rating system. He says it makes people lazy and unfunny. Because just quoting a post and saying nothing or agree is so much better.
 
@Null didn't you offer to buy SA or at least manage it (for a fee) for Lowtax, or am I misremembering?
 
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I offered to do his XF2 migration.
That's what it was, okay. If he was smart, he would've taken you up on that offer, but there lies the rub.

It would make me chuckle if you did manage to buy his dying site (with a box of wine & a bottle of Ambien), but I can't even begin to think of what you could do to salvage that trash fire. The collective REEEEing would be pretty funny, if the chimpout over the short-lived KF adspace was any indication.
 
lmao, he got fat but I mean he does have a degenerative spinal condition and is essentially paralyzed from it

He complains about his back in a very familiar way, the way pill heads usually bitch and moan about it. What is the name of this “degenerative spine condition” he has? When did he become “essentially paralyzed” as opposed to just staying in bed all day?

Lowtax has all the red flags of a depressed addict that uses a “bad back” to stay in bed and eat pills. I’m not saying he doesn’t have issues but if you’ve truly got a bad back then laying in bed is about the worst thing you can do - and usually can’t do it because laying prone is the most painful position for a bad back.

I think his puffy face is a combo of pills, booze and maybe steroids.

I thought that huge influx of Patreon cash might be the end of Lowtax. A big pile of money is extremely dangerous if you have any substance abuse issues. He seems to be indulging exactly as I’d expect someone with depressive tendencies and a penchant for pills to behave when given $10k a month no strings attached

I offered to do his XF2 migration.

Fuck. Given how this forum runs and how hysterically outdated SA forums are it’s amazing he wouldn’t pay someone competent to update SA after being given all that money. At the very least you’d think he’d want to show all his donors he would use some of the money to improve the forums.

I’m beginning to think he’s just going to let goons fund his demise via booze and pills as a final grim ironic joke.
 
I think he's become so accustomed to being an aloof waster and doing nothing that he's scared that if he makes a serious stab at modernising SA it might just confirm nobody gives a shit. At this time if he does nothing, he can at least tell himself it was mismanaged and if he wasn't such a tragic sadboi it could've reached its true potential.
 
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The funniest thing Lowtax did lately was getting in years late on that youtube thing and being genuinely surprised/confused he didn't hit it big. Fucker seriously thought he was that relevant.

His raging at being banned from Twitter comes a close second IMHO.

Nahhhh the funniest was when Lowtax got drunk on Twitter and had a sad cry at Notch demanding money ( cause SA made Minecraft famous with let's plays you see). After getting called out for it Lowtax claimed it was a "joke" to get some response from Notch fans for a article.

There was never any articles.
 
Nahhhh the funniest was when Lowtax got drunk on Twitter and had a sad cry at Notch demanding money ( cause SA made Minecraft famous with let's plays you see). After getting called out for it Lowtax claimed it was a "joke" to get some response from Notch fans for a article.

There was never any articles.
That shit was hilarious.
Notch told Jay-Z and Beyoncé to fuck off when they tried to outbid him for his estate.
And lowtax thought he could scare him with his “I’m King of the Goons” shtick.
 
Lowtax has bred with two human women? What the hell
 
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Lowtax has emerged from his lair to whine about money. Again.

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fwiw, I haven't noticed any improvement in forum speed on SA.
 
Holy shit keeping the forum running in the cloud probably takes him 20 minutes a month and he can’t even manage to do that correctly. And these fucking goons pay him $11k for it! And then he implies it’s not enough, and these morons will happily open their wallets and assholes for him. Maybe he’s not the millionaire he could have been but he sure knows how to monetize his laziness.
 
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