Operation Chris Eater commences

[BillRiley]

I will take you on that bet, Loser donates 100 dollars to the forums.

I'll take $20 of that forum dontation if we include: "throws pokeball, red-heart-on-a-string, or other lovequest device at pretty lawyer lady."

 

[waffle]

Fair enough. A weekend of, as you put it, "shock time" is not out of the realm of possibility. But I think we can both agree that all these scenarios of 30 days + of jail time and having the tugboat sail away aren't at all realistic.

PS. Just to sperg, the second case you cited says that while any bodily pain *may* be found to constitute "bodily injury," whether or not it actually does so is a question of fact for the jury under the "ordinary meaning" of the term. That said, we both know this is never going to a jury.

Yeah, honestly if the Judge wanted to be a real hard ass without going crazy what he'd do is give him 29 days so he does enough time to rely suck but not enough to truly fuck him over.

The only way Chris will do any "real" (30 day + time) is if he spergs out enough in jail to catch additional charges, I am very slightly worried about that TBH.

 

[waffle]

Well I'll be, here I thought SOMEBODY was going to force Chris to dress normally, as per appropriate court attire. He must've had a difficult time getting in the courthouse, to say the least.

Spoiler

I really should've seen this coming.

The bailiffs see all kinds of crazy assholes like Chris who can't dress them selves properly. He's a bit over the edge but not as much as we'd like to think.

The real things that set them off is wearing a hat inside the court room and wearing shorts. There's literally a "no shorts in the courtroom" stamp they put on summons in the spring/summer around here. I also saw a municipal judge have a blarms level flipout over a dude not tucking his shirt in once.

 

[Bluce Wee]

Spoiler: fixed 14BC curtesy of rammspieler

Don't think it's been posted yet.

What's the stuff around the tree? Just garbage?

Given how shit it looks already on the outside, I want to know how badly they've fucked up the inside. I'd be really surprised if Chris took anything from whatever they used to cart it all from the rental house and piled it further than a few steps into the house.

 

[Pikonic]

Chris chiding his mother. "What were you thinking, Barbara Ann?"

Ooohhhh shit!
My mother would kill me, KILL me, if I tried pulling that shit, especially in public.

 

[John Furrman]

Ban everyone but Rammspeiler from this thread, ugh, jfc you guys are spergs. Twenty pages of nothing.

Jeez, way to put another shitpost on top of the steaming pile of crap.

 

[anephric]

The last 20 pages read like an afternoon of CNN...

"THERE IS A THING GOING ON BEHIND ME LETS GO TO THE SCENE"

"There's this event happening at this other place and lets emphasize that with color commentators."

"The other reporters are right it's happened again holy God I can't believe it lets go to the skycam for evidence of this..."

Philip Glass ain't this repetitive

 

[Chipmunk With A Banana]

From the whole eyewitness report of the hearing, the one line that made me ROFL the most (no, it wasn't the fact that Chris showed up in drag) was this:

"I'm pretty sure I heard him ask "Do you think we should tell them about our troll problems?" once, which made me smile inside."

It's like Chris is actually attempting to use his mental gymnastics to try to use "the trolls are meanies!" as his new Get Out Of Jail Free Card. He really is trying to make Reality bend to his way of thinking.

I seriously doubt that the Judge or the Prosecutor or even that poor Defense lawyer are going to give a rat's ass about Chris' "troll problems" one bit, and if he tries to press the issue he's sure to be told to STFU about it or be cited for contempt (which may even trigger Chris blurting out the "I HAVE NOTHING BUT CONTEMPT FOR THIS COURT!" line from the Transformers movie and that issue of Sonichu). All the Court is going to consider is "Did the Defendant enter the premises where he was previously banned?" and "Did the Defendant unlawfully use a chemical substance to assault a person at these premises?". The answer is Yes to both, and Chris will be found Guilty to both. The only thing up in the air is when the sentence is handed down, and how severe it will be.

 

[theobservdr]

Not sure if this is of note in regards to repeat offenses and Chris, I am unsure if they apply to Chris or not though. If they do, he might be screwed.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three-strikes_law

 

[GS 281]

I seriously doubt that the Judge or the Prosecutor or even that poor Defense lawyer are going to give a rat's ass about Chris' "troll problems" one bit, and if he tries to press the issue he's sure to be told to STFU about it or be cited for contempt (which may even trigger Chris blurting out the "I HAVE NOTHING BUT CONTEMPT FOR THIS COURT!" line from the Transformers movie and that issue of Sonichu). All the Court is going to consider is "Did the Defendant enter the premises where he was previously banned?" and "Did the Defendant unlawfully use a chemical substance to assault a person at these premises?". The answer is Yes to both, and Chris will be found Guilty to both. The only thing up in the air is when the sentence is handed down, and how severe it will be.

A transvestite quoting transformers while on trial for unleashing a chemical weapon on an unsuspecting victim. Chris went from cartoon artist to cartoon.

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

"I'm pretty sure I heard him ask "Do you think we should tell them about our troll problems?" once, which made me smile inside."

There's no chance of a filter, even made of used toilet tissue, to materialize in Chris's head?

Will the PD have to scream in his face till he's purple?

 

[fridgesrants]

*slow clap*

Amazing. They only cleared the crap out of the font yard so they could drive the fucking van right up to the door instead. Truly they have attained their final form as redneck trailer trash now (final mega evolition form would entail them actually moving into a shitty Streamliner pulled by that van).

Also of note: the BMW looks like it got slammed into that tree at this angle (rear wheels appear slightly higher than the front ones, and I doubt BMWs come with that kind of jacked suspension) and corruption has taken root so far in 14BC that the ground itself does not support grass and all the trees are dead.

Yeah, sure, its winter, but given how there is clearly grass and healthy tree foliage all over the place except on the 14BC plot of land, you have to wonder...

I wonder if the insurance covered putting new grass and plants in the yard but then again they would die after a few months of the Chandler's neglect. I guess Chris still has another two months to enjoy the renovated house before he has to go back to court and most likely serve some short term jail sentence.

 

[ManicStreetPreacher]

Not sure if this is of note in regards to repeat offenses and Chris, I am unsure if they apply to Chris or not though. If they do, he might be screwed.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three-strikes_law

like Timothy L. Tyler

 

[CWCissey]

I wonder if the insurance covered putting new grass and plants in the yard

I doubt that, it's probably because a lot of the front yard garbage (including that fridge!) got taken away which means there would be less toxins seeping into the soil.

 

[stets]

Not sure if this is of note in regards to repeat offenses and Chris, I am unsure if they apply to Chris or not though. If they do, he might be screwed.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three-strikes_law

This has come up before, and it isn't even remotely relevant. This is for extremely violent criminals, not a dumbass responsible for leaving the scene of an accident and a failed mace attempt.

 

[EI 903]

If @Rammspieler or anyone else with new info wants me to reopen this one so that they can post, just shoot me, Glaive, or a green mod a pm and we'll do it for you. Until then, though, I'm locking the thread. Way too much off-topic sperging.

 

[Carlos Thin]

The entire Discussion forum is built on nothing. It's based on discussing a fat autistic man on welfare who was well known on the Internet six years ago because he believed everything that everyone ever said to him. Basically, spergs gonna sperg.

Spergfeld

 

[repentance]

From the whole eyewitness report of the hearing, the one line that made me ROFL the most (no, it wasn't the fact that Chris showed up in drag) was this:

"I'm pretty sure I heard him ask "Do you think we should tell them about our troll problems?" once, which made me smile inside."

It's like Chris is actually attempting to use his mental gymnastics to try to use "the trolls are meanies!" as his new Get Out Of Jail Free Card. He really is trying to make Reality bend to his way of thinking.

If he was facing more serious charges and a significant penalty, then it's something that his lawyer would probably bring into play in the sentencing phase. As it is, this is a pretty trivial charge (which may well be reduced prior to sentencing) and there's unlikely to be any need for Chris's lawyer to put great effort into getting him fairly light consequences. Even if it actually went to trial, it wouldn't be a multi-day affair with lots of witnesses and expert testimony. It would probably be over in less time than an episode of Law and Order.

 

[Rammspieler]

Long-ass update!

Spoiler

Okay, I'm back home and tired as fuck. Despite the continuance of the case until April 2nd, I'm glad to have been there and have been in the presence of Manbaby and Barb themselves. I wish I was a better videographer/photographer and had taken better shots of them, all I got was a video of them leaving court as well as a video of 14 BC.

I'm also glad that Zeonista posted and filled in for the details I wasn't able to pick up on. But the truth is that it was a very "active" courtroom and everybody was moving around and whispering to each other, so it is possible that I may have misheard some things.

Anyway, I got there like at 8:50 and after taking off my fucking studded belt and fishing keys out of my pocket to pass the metal detector, I finally sat myself down in the courtroom. But still no sign of Chris. In fact, I was almost expecting him to be a no show. I started jotting down my notes and everything, when I look up, wondering of he wasn't coming, when I hear close to me a VERY FAMILIAR VOICE. I look to my right, and sitting in the bench in front of meat the very end of it, I saw him. My face just lit up and I knew right then and there that the trip was worth it. This is the closest thing I'll ever experience to having met a movie star is basically my sentiment. And right in front of me was a woman whom at first I thought was either his attorney or even Rocky Shoemaker. I was wondering whom she was for the longest until, his PD showed up and asked to speak with her son. So confirmed Snorlax. Also, he didn't seem to be too pleased with the PD referring to him as male.

I can confirm what Zeonista saw and heard and indeed he was in full tomgirl attire. Ridiculous blue eyeshadow and all. Barb's red overcoat was covered in animal fur so I guess they must have pets. I can also confirm his constant sighing and nervousness. He couldn't stop shaking his leg. He also bore the same expression that he was wearing for his mugshot. He was obviously Stressed and displeased! There was even a moment when he kinda turned around and looked at me with what seemed to be suspicion. Was I that obvious? The guy with the faux vintage Star Wars Episode IV Hong Kong movie poster shirt and the notepad, writing down everything?

Like I said, it was a relatively noisy courtroom, so I couldn't catch the gist of most of the whispering. But I did catch him asking Barb that the PD and the judge should be made aware of the "troll problem". Like Zeonista, I couldn't help but smile. But he then went on in what seemed to be a rant about misogyny and misogynists. I guess he was hoping that the MALE judge wouldn't be such. What really called my attention was the way they carried on. If you didn't know they were mother and son, you could swear that they looked like a really creepy Cougar/Cub romantic relationship. The way they held each others backs, to him telling her "I love you". I was also able to notice that he was wearing a graduation ring. I guess from his high school? I couldn't make out the letters, but the stone was purple. He then said something about hoping that "he wasn't a chicken" and Barb replied that "he" won't be. I guess they were talking about the lawyer. Speaking of...

The PD was this handsome, lean dude in his mid to late 20's. Had curly hair and a trimmed beard. If you took off his suit and left his glasses on, he would make a great hipster at some microbrewery. The reason why I at first assumed that they hired him was because I noticed in Chris' Lego notebook a business card with a written phone number and the name of what looked to be "Max Rippoli" I knew it was Italian and the judge did utter a similar surname when telling Chris that said person couldn't defend him. The first name was definitely "Max" though. Barb's advice for Chris when in the Stand was to stand up straight and smile. Anyway, once the judge granted the continuance, I took that as my cue to leave and stand by to take visuals. So while I was outside, turning my phone on and trying to get the camera to work was when Zeonista witnessed what took place after I left and before they left. Anyway on to video evidence!

That was them leaving the courthouse. You can confirm it is them because Chris is wearing the same clothes in Zeonista's description.

Also, 14 BC: The Movie!

 

[SonChu's Oil Change]

I'm still a bit confused. Was the person who was told he could not act as their defense attorney a public defender?