حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[The Knife's Husbando]

Shock humor or writing is a cop-out at the best of times, and just pathetic at the worst. All it means is that since you don't have anything intelligent, artistic or thoughtful to say- you're just going to try to get a lowest common denominator visceral reaction.

 

[The I Scream Man]

Molly, some of these posts are from as far back as 2009.

You replied to Mrs. Ringwald's post 4 minutes after it was posted, which therefore leads me to believe that this

I'm not going to debate you guys. I just dropped in to check my alerts, maybe bring up my positive ratings.

Is not true and that you in reality are watching this thread like a hawk. I believe this both because of the very quick response time relative to all of ours (18 and 4 minutes, respectively) and because if you weren't desperately reading this thread hoping for sympathy/pity and positive affirmation of any kind, you wouldn't care about ratings.

 

[The Knife's Husbando]

Shock humor or writing is a cop-out at the best of times, and just pathetic at the worst. All it means is that since you don't have anything intelligent, artistic or thoughtful to say- you're just going to try to get a lowest common denominator visceral reaction.

I know this seems weird, me quoting myself. But bear with me.

Connor agreed with me. He actually ran his cursor up & clicked "agree".

THEN WHY HAVE YOU USED SHOCK TROPES IN EVER CHAPTER OF REDESIGNING EVA???

 

[Ouija Board]

This sounds exactly like A Child Called It.

Ugh, yeah I got that book and this is a clear ripoff of it.

 

[lolwut]

It's in the past.

Says the guy that, not that far in the past, called @The Knife a witch. So much for being polite for the ladies. You're just hoping to impress your idol so now you're acting like you've matured 10 years in the past week.

 

[TM Ambrose]

It's in the past.

Our past defines us you sped.

 

[HG 400]

Connor is a fat whiny faggot and Molly Ringwald would not have sex with him.

 

[The Knife]

Says the guy that, not that far in the past, called @The Knife a witch. So much for being polite for the ladies. You're just hoping to impress your idol so now you're acting like you've matured 10 years in the past week.

Welp, I wasn't going to reveal my power-level on this forum, but it seems I've been outted.

This is me, irl:

I've been lying all this time. My real alma mater is Hogwarts. My pronouns are witch/witch/witchself. Please respect them.

 

[The Knife's Husbando]

Says the guy that, not that far in the past, called @The Knife a witch. So much for being polite for the ladies. You're just hoping to impress your idol so now you're acting like you've matured 10 years in the past week.

He did what?

(reads quote again)

Oh, HELL NAW

Welp, I wasn't going to reveal my power-level on this forum, but it seems I've been outted.

This is me, irl:

My pronouns are witch/witch/witchself. Please respect them.

You said those pics were never leaving the bedroom, love.

 

[Xarpho]

So from today's chat:

• Connor is going to volunteer at a local library
• He is currently working on a resume, and should have it finished shortly
• He is going to start working on writing cover letters
• He is going to write a story for the forums, which will be written, edited, and finished within 20 days.

The betting kiosk is now open.

He missed the deadline. Cash in your bets, Kiwis.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

There's a lady present.

Probably several, in fact.

Other ladies present at time of posting:

Spoiler: da ladies~

Well, technically @Philly Cheese Steak is a merpony hermit crab, @Meowthkip is a Pokemon, @IJustWantToSeeAttachments is an Alot plushie, @The Knife is a murderous witch, & I have a half-eaten buffalo wing for a face, but whatever.

 

[EI 903]

Other ladies present at time of posting:

Spoiler: da ladies~

View attachment 15072
Well, technically @Philly Cheese Steak is a merpony hermit crab, @Meowthkip is a Pokemon, @IJustWantToSeeAttachments is an Alot plushie, @The Knife is a murderous witch, & I have a half-eaten buffalo wing for a face, but whatever.

The black background is the empty, nihilistic nothing of Connor's soul. A slow acoustic version of "Crawling" is playing in there 24/7.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

The black background is the empty, nihilistic nothing of Connor's soul. A slow acoustic version of "Crawling" is playing in there 24/7.

I really like this version, actually.

EDIT: Fuck, it works better than I thought.

 

[Meowthkip]

Other ladies present at time of posting:

Spoiler: da ladies~

View attachment 15072
Well, technically @Philly Cheese Steak is a merpony hermit crab, @Meowthkip is a Pokemon, @IJustWantToSeeAttachments is an Alot plushie, @The Knife is a murderous witch, & I have a half-eaten buffalo wing for a face, but whatever.

I think the Alot plush is my favorite.

Meowthkip's lookin' pretty good, though.

 

[The Knife]

Other ladies present at time of posting:

Spoiler: da ladies~

View attachment 15072
Well, technically @Philly Cheese Steak is a merpony hermit crab, @Meowthkip is a Pokemon, @IJustWantToSeeAttachments is an Alot plushie, @The Knife is a murderous witch, & I have a half-eaten buffalo wing for a face, but whatever.

Aw, you perfectly captured my dead hollow stare into the face of a bleak uncertain future!

 

[Bugaboo]

Other ladies present at time of posting:

Spoiler: da ladies~

View attachment 15072
Well, technically @Philly Cheese Steak is a merpony hermit crab, @Meowthkip is a Pokemon, @IJustWantToSeeAttachments is an Alot plushie, @The Knife is a murderous witch, & I have a half-eaten buffalo wing for a face, but whatever.

 

[Count groudon]

Part 15 of Wrong Planet. You'll laugh, you'll sigh, you'll wonder why Connor is allowed online unsupervised!

More fantasy booking of his big famous movie book (I'm not going through all those broken links to find ones that work i'm sure you know who these people are)

Spoiler

View attachment 15045

Molly Ringwald perched on the edge of the bed, her form alien but strangely familiar, all smooth curves and pale skin. Connor slowly loosened the knot on his eyepatch and smiled. "So you wanna take a couple rounds with the champ, huh?" He started towards her, but after two steps he paused, petrified - he was about to take this whoregoddess to bed without finishing the ritual. Blindly he reached behind him, refusing to look and break the Rule of Cool. Eventually his greasy fingers found it, and with an eagerness that surprised him, he punched the play button on the iPhone dock.

Spoiler

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Spoiler

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Oh thank God, I thought Connor had forgotten about Redesigning Eva!

Spoiler

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Hahaha, what? Dude, what?

Spoiler

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Hey there edgelord, why don't you bring it back a little bit

Spoiler

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SHOW ME MOLLY RINGWALDS BIRTH CERTIFICATE!

Spoiler

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[Broken youtube link to the Stand miniseries]

Oh my god you fucking sperg, won't you shut the fuck up and JUST WRITE?!

Spoiler

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This is a very common theme in Connorwatching - when he hasn't written anything for a while because of "stress" or "writers block", he ends up posting how he will instead write something intentionally awful. He references Springtime for Hitler as the impetus of his ruse, but I would compare him more to Milo Minderbinder.

Spoiler

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WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN!?

Spoiler

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And this is where Connor bought a typewriter (fun fact: I bought one at a flea market for the same reason. Sitting outside smoking a cigar, drinking bourbon, and annoying the neighbors is an enjoyable way to spend the evening)

Spoiler

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"My parents support me no matter what. Fucky them, Imma put my dick in Molly Ringwalds belly button"

 

[Hat]

Hey there edgelord, why don't you bring it back a little bit

Spoiler

View attachment 15051

I wonder which black character Connor was thinking of making a gorilla in Citizen Abe (my money's on Tom Robinson).

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

Aw, you perfectly captured my dead hollow stare into the face of a bleak uncertain future!

What I lack in skill, I try to make up for in expressiveness~

I think the Alot plush is my favorite.

Meowthkip's lookin' pretty good, though.

You guys are sweet, thank you! I'm honored that actual artists like my stupid shit.

 

[XH 502]

Other ladies present at time of posting:

Spoiler: da ladies~

View attachment 15072
Well, technically @Philly Cheese Steak is a merpony hermit crab, @Meowthkip is a Pokemon, @IJustWantToSeeAttachments is an Alot plushie, @The Knife is a murderous witch, & I have a half-eaten buffalo wing for a face, but whatever.

In actuality that perfectly captures the expression I have whenever I read this thread. Have all of my "winner" ratings.

I think the Alot plush is my favorite.