r/polyamory

[Fapcop]

Here’s a good one from Reddit. Let’s call it: Cuck Life.

r/polyamory - Tried dating after 18 years, ended up offered money in return for intimate massage

28 votes and 12 comments so far on Reddit

www.reddit.com

TLDR: The cuck in question has a wife who got knocked up by another man. In an attempt to distract himself from what a failure he and his marriage has become, he goes on Tinder and finds a match. They go to her house, he gives her an intimate massage. She pays him for it.

Maybe they're short or you're right that they're just bi/gay and want a beard. I will never understand why either of those guys who look 7+ are willing to be in a strings attached nonexclusive relationship with what looks like a 5.

Yeah, they are good looking. Wonder if it’s a coincidence that the boyfriend looks like a slightly younger, slightly soyified version of the husband?

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

It was also possible to do that for gay couples before gay marriage got legalized, minus the potential for a federal tax break. But that wasn't good enough for the gays, and the system won't be good enough for polys who have decided they are oppressed just like the gays.

Imagine the headache poly divorces would be.

 

[Pointless Pedant]

Imagine the headache poly divorces would be.

In countries with legal polygamy they are handled similarly to monogamous divorces, since the man has separate marriage contracts with each of his wives. It's more the emotional drama that would result from such an event than the actual legality that would be the problem. Most countries outside Africa and Asia ban polygamy for cultural reasons, not because it's impossible to regulate legally.

 

[neverendingmidi]

In countries with legal polygamy they are handled similarly to monogamous divorces, since the man has separate marriage contracts with each of his wives. It's more the emotional drama that would result from such an event than the actual legality that would be the problem. Most countries outside Africa and Asia ban polygamy for cultural reasons, not because it's impossible to regulate legally.

Except that's in a polygamy situation where the man is the one in charge. What about a polyamory situation where a woman wants to divorce one man, but her other wife(s)/husband(s) don't, and he wants to divorce someone else, but they're part of a different "polycule"... who has priority? How do you divide assets in such a case. I mean in a Muslim country there's not really any worry, kick the bitch to the curb, but in the US? Where lawyers grow under every rock?

 

[sweet-cereal-killer]

Looks like the negative comments on the other thread have been deleted. This one hasn't been deleted yet

My two men. My boyfriend (in green) came to visit (currently doing ldr) and supported me through my first half marathon while my husband (in grey) cheered us on. It's hasn't been easy, but so worth it! We are all new to this polyamorous life. My husband has a gf now and things are getting easier.

Polyamory is openly, honestly, and consensually loving and being committed to more than one person. This subreddit discusses news, views, and...

old.reddit.com

 

[queerape]

but they're part of a different "polycule"... who has priority?

The one with the bond angles closest to 109.5º.

 

[Wallace]

The difference between upvoted and downvoted comments is amazing.

 

[Fapcop]

The difference between upvoted and downvoted comments is amazing.

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One thing I noticed about that place: Their standard response when somebody starts spitting uncomfortable truths is always: “REEEE!!! NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!”

Somehow all the positive: “My polycule is SOOO happy” posts are everyone’s business though. Imagine that!

Here is another lulzy post from r/polyamory, that does a fine job at discrediting their favorite: “Polyamory is sooo satisfying, and totally problem-free!” Narrative.

r/polyamory - My life is a polyamorus dumpster fire

30 votes and 3 comments so far on Reddit

www.reddit.com

MY LIFE IS A POLYAMOROUS DUMPSTER FIRE


“Made a fresh account for some anonymity for myself and parties involved.

To give a little background on the relation times and structures, myself "L" and "C" have been in a triad for about 18 months, I've been with C over two years, and L for 3.5 roughly. Weve all lived together for as long as weve been a triad. "M", C's partner, and originally a friend of mine, moved in roughly a year ago. Letting "M" move in has pretty much ruined my life.

M moved in from out of state, they were working at the time and when they arrived. I continued to provide M with contract work and helped them as much as I could to stay on their feet. After a few months of doing a lot of the heavy lifting for their career, I asked them to start doing things for themselves, and they pretty much quit working all together. I continued to encourage and provide any necessary training if they were willing to learn and put in the work. They were not. They finally started trying to work again after several months of chastisement (mostly from me, but from C as well), but had one job interveiw they turned down(and for a pretty good reason admittedly), and did a bit of contract work for another month or two, and then quit again. There were no additional attempts at an hourly/salary job.

About the time M quit doing contract work the first time, M quit also doing chores around the house. Im no neat freak, but I do have a minimal level of comfort required when it comes to clutter and cleanliness. This wouldnt have been such a big issue, but C was a rather messy person already and never liked to clean up. L and myself were left with the large majority of chores and maintenance for 4 people now instead of just 3.

When M first moved in, C and M where enamored with each other. Compersion was strong and I was happy to see C and M so happy. The NRE was flowing like craft beer at a poly meet up. The two of them were bedding together pretty much every night, which was a drastic change from our previous schedule rotation of L and myself, C and myself, and L and C. Throw in the occasional night when I could manage the cramped bed and excess body heat of the 3 of us in the same bed. L and myself said we would let the hard pairing continue for a few months, and let them enjoy themselves. The hard bed pairing has continued since it was first established with a couple of lackluster attempts by C to sleep with L or myself, despite multiple repeated requests.

So around the fifth or six month I started to realize some things. That M might have depression, or some other sort of mental illness preventing them from doing what they want or need. Im no stranger to mental illness myself, and the stuff can rip apart relationships swiftly if not treated. I offered to get them counciling and pay for their medications multiple times, but they refused every time. It also became aparent that our largely egalitarian distribution of affection and quality time was pretty much out the window. They spent about every waking moment with each other, despite L and myselfs requests to both of them to lay up a bit, and allow C to spend time with their other partners.

At about 6 months or so, resentment had start to set in for M. Im a very non jealous person, even unnaturally so, it wasnt just standard jealousy. M had basically turned our polycule upside down at this point. The house was increasingly messy, my relationship with C was pretty much moot, M was becoming increasingly irritable and their outbursts were increasing, we were having money issues with M not working either. It was later found out by the polycule that M had not been taking their medications they had been subscribed for years because they could not afford them, and they were afraid to ask for whatever reason. M and I had some heated exchanges during this period, but it never escalated past "F*** you" and a swiftly shut door behind one of us.

We eventually got M back on their medication, and their outbursts subsided to about one a week. At this point Im pretty much done with this absolute fuster cluck, but L being the sweet and tolerant person they are, are still willing to try and work things out. That was until until one day, M threatened me. They had been having an outburst, and it was eating up my time before I had to meet a colleague for a job. I had told them to quit acting so childish, quite scathingly I might add. They snapped, came up behind me after my back was turned and said some preeeeetty awful stuff right into my ear. Basically Im terrified of M now. Nothing was openly discussed about this happening between the four of us, but I later heard from C that M had blacked out they were so angry. Absolutely scary stuff.

Id like to think that this could have all gone better. That I could have been more gentle and nuturing with M, gave them more assurance and assistance. But honestly, I dont think it would have made a difference at this point.

Long story short, lease is up, I might not have anywhere to live and may have to give up my business Ive been working on for almost 3 years. But at least I still have L, not sure how much I care for C anymore, them allowing this all to happen.

Wish me luck.”

 

[Pointless Pedant]

Except that's in a polygamy situation where the man is the one in charge. What about a polyamory situation where a woman wants to divorce one man, but her other wife(s)/husband(s) don't, and he wants to divorce someone else, but they're part of a different "polycule"... who has priority? How do you divide assets in such a case. I mean in a Muslim country there's not really any worry, kick the bitch to the curb, but in the US? Where lawyers grow under every rock?

Those countries have lawyers too, they're just operating in different legal systems. There are a fair few Christian majority countries in Africa where it's legal as well. Obviously scenarios as you described would be a shitshow, but they would be regardless given the kinds of people involved.

 

[vertexwindi]

"The NRE was flowing like craft beer at a poly meet up." I hate this sentence more than written language can express.

 

[sweet-cereal-killer]

Here is another lulzy post from r/polyamory, that does a fine job at discrediting their favorite: “Polyamory is sooo satisfying, and totally problem-free!” Narrative.

r/polyamory - My life is a polyamorus dumpster fire

30 votes and 3 comments so far on Reddit

www.reddit.com

MY LIFE IS A POLYAMOROUS DUMPSTER FIRE


“Made a fresh account for some anonymity for myself and parties involved.

To give a little background on the relation times and structures, myself "L" and "C" have been in a triad for about 18 months, I've been with C over two years, and L for 3.5 roughly. Weve all lived together for as long as weve been a triad. "M", C's partner, and originally a friend of mine, moved in roughly a year ago. Letting "M" move in has pretty much ruined my life.

M moved in from out of state, they were working at the time and when they arrived. I continued to provide M with contract work and helped them as much as I could to stay on their feet. After a few months of doing a lot of the heavy lifting for their career, I asked them to start doing things for themselves, and they pretty much quit working all together. I continued to encourage and provide any necessary training if they were willing to learn and put in the work. They were not. They finally started trying to work again after several months of chastisement (mostly from me, but from C as well), but had one job interveiw they turned down(and for a pretty good reason admittedly), and did a bit of contract work for another month or two, and then quit again. There were no additional attempts at an hourly/salary job.

About the time M quit doing contract work the first time, M quit also doing chores around the house. Im no neat freak, but I do have a minimal level of comfort required when it comes to clutter and cleanliness. This wouldnt have been such a big issue, but C was a rather messy person already and never liked to clean up. L and myself were left with the large majority of chores and maintenance for 4 people now instead of just 3.

When M first moved in, C and M where enamored with each other. Compersion was strong and I was happy to see C and M so happy. The NRE was flowing like craft beer at a poly meet up. The two of them were bedding together pretty much every night, which was a drastic change from our previous schedule rotation of L and myself, C and myself, and L and C. Throw in the occasional night when I could manage the cramped bed and excess body heat of the 3 of us in the same bed. L and myself said we would let the hard pairing continue for a few months, and let them enjoy themselves. The hard bed pairing has continued since it was first established with a couple of lackluster attempts by C to sleep with L or myself, despite multiple repeated requests.

So around the fifth or six month I started to realize some things. That M might have depression, or some other sort of mental illness preventing them from doing what they want or need. Im no stranger to mental illness myself, and the stuff can rip apart relationships swiftly if not treated. I offered to get them counciling and pay for their medications multiple times, but they refused every time. It also became aparent that our largely egalitarian distribution of affection and quality time was pretty much out the window. They spent about every waking moment with each other, despite L and myselfs requests to both of them to lay up a bit, and allow C to spend time with their other partners.

At about 6 months or so, resentment had start to set in for M. Im a very non jealous person, even unnaturally so, it wasnt just standard jealousy. M had basically turned our polycule upside down at this point. The house was increasingly messy, my relationship with C was pretty much moot, M was becoming increasingly irritable and their outbursts were increasing, we were having money issues with M not working either. It was later found out by the polycule that M had not been taking their medications they had been subscribed for years because they could not afford them, and they were afraid to ask for whatever reason. M and I had some heated exchanges during this period, but it never escalated past "F*** you" and a swiftly shut door behind one of us.

We eventually got M back on their medication, and their outbursts subsided to about one a week. At this point Im pretty much done with this absolute fuster cluck, but L being the sweet and tolerant person they are, are still willing to try and work things out. That was until until one day, M threatened me. They had been having an outburst, and it was eating up my time before I had to meet a colleague for a job. I had told them to quit acting so childish, quite scathingly I might add. They snapped, came up behind me after my back was turned and said some preeeeetty awful stuff right into my ear. Basically Im terrified of M now. Nothing was openly discussed about this happening between the four of us, but I later heard from C that M had blacked out they were so angry. Absolutely scary stuff.

Id like to think that this could have all gone better. That I could have been more gentle and nuturing with M, gave them more assurance and assistance. But honestly, I dont think it would have made a difference at this point.

Long story short, lease is up, I might not have anywhere to live and may have to give up my business Ive been working on for almost 3 years. But at least I still have L, not sure how much I care for C anymore, them allowing this all to happen.

Wish me luck.”

TL;DR OP is a cuckhold, M is a deadbeat Chad the gf has the hots for. OP tries to remain in control by meddling in M and the gf's relationship. They don't like it and push him back but can't leave him because they are both deadbeats who have nowhere to go. Drama happens.

 

[Pointless Pedant]

"The NRE was flowing like craft beer at a poly meet up." I hate this sentence more than written language can express.

Mainly because it doesn't even make sense. The non-recurring engineering was flowing? Even if I wanted a harem (I don't, too much potential drama) I wouldn't want to deal with this jargon.

 

[Fapcop]

Mainly because it doesn't even make sense. The non-recurring engineering was flowing? Even if I wanted a harem (I don't, too much potential drama) I wouldn't want to deal with this jargon.

New
Relationship
Energy


What these fuckers, and people who like to discuss their partners affair, endlessly call falling in love.

And hey: Let’s be fair here: Confusing acronyms are the least of their problems. I don’t think Poly-fucks have even 10% of the long list of confusing abbreviations that for example troons use!

 

[vertexwindi]

NRE is a dumb acronym for the honeymoon period basically. Calling things what they are isn't quirky enough I guess.

 

[AprilRains]

The word "infatuation" isn't that hard to spell either.

 

[*extremely mom voice*]

Mainly because it doesn't even make sense. The non-recurring engineering was flowing? Even if I wanted a harem (I don't, too much potential drama) I wouldn't want to deal with this jargon.

Poly people talk endlessly about how much they love love, they have infinite love, etc. But they use euphemisms to talk around the fact that humans fall in love with one person at a time. Saying "new relationship energy" makes it sound like something you can just wait out. It sounds much better than saying "my partner is in love with someone else."

 

[neverendingmidi]

Poly people talk endlessly about how much they love love, they have infinite love, etc. But they use euphemisms to talk around the fact that humans fall in love with one person at a time. Saying "new relationship energy" makes it sound like something you can just wait out. It sounds much better than saying "my partner is in love with someone else."

I wouldn't even call it love. It's infatuation like @AprilRains said. They constantly chase the falling in love feeling. It's like the crazy women who like having babies, but don't actually like kids. They chase the attention of being pregnant, showing off the new baby, and get bored once it starts to develop an actual personality other than "toy". In poly, it's showing off the new "sex toy", but not actually wanting to deal with a whole person.

 

[karz]

Apologies if this is late, but, there's an article (archive) that was posted to the subreddit, detailing the "new normal" in the Pacific Northwest.
It's a rather large article, and I skimmed it so maybe I'm missing something, but the most outstanding part to me was that a Mormon family (granted, while historically known for being poly), decided to make their marriage poly. Their marriage had no problems, to my limited knowledge, they have children, been married 16 years, and still decided to make it poly.
I'm sure that I'm missing something from that massive wall of text, but saying that you want your partner to be "happy" with being free and independent is just making an excuse that one, or both of them, were closeted sluts.

 

[Krokodil Overdose]

Here is another lulzy post from r/polyamory, that does a fine job at discrediting their favorite: “Polyamory is sooo satisfying, and totally problem-free!” Narrative.

r/polyamory - My life is a polyamorus dumpster fire

30 votes and 3 comments so far on Reddit

www.reddit.com

"NRE." "Compersion." Is there a lexicon for this shit, because I keep tripping over made-up words.

That said, this story is fucking amazing. Woman (despite the lack of pronouns, I am 95% sure this was written by a woman) has two boyfriends who fuck each other in addition to her. Then the new boyfriend's girlfriend moves in, and (predictably) the two of them pair off and drama ensues. Is polyamory comorbid with some kind of pathological inability to cut your losses?

 

[BubbleButt]

If you're using made up words to describe your relationships with people, you're probably in a cult.