Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Capsaicin Addict]

I guess Chuck Wendig may know about this thread now since the similarities between the Mandalorian MC and Chuck's OC Cobb that we discussed in this thread have been going around the rumor mill.
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I think Chuck kinda missed the point of the articles discussing the glaring similarities between his OC and the Mandalorian. Nobody claimed you were working on the show Chuck. We know you're a fired has-been who can only get by on shitty books with the words "New York Times best seller" printed on the covers. Everyone was pointing out the fact that Favreau is a fan of yours and has paid homage to your undeserving ass quite a few times already. So its no surprise that he would use your awful book as a guide for the Mandalorian and the origin of the FO. Honestly, I only checked his twitter for 30 seconds and I already feel nauseous from the smell of all the bullshit.

Also, in the new Rey comic that came out, the writers brag about how they fixed and honored fans demands about the lack of affection Leia had for Chewie in the film so they made them hug in the comic. Once again Disney proving that their shitty nu-EU exists only to fix and glorify their awful films while offering nothing of interest on their own which even prequel shit had going for it.
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And Leia is so "emotional" and her reasoning is so "heartfelt"...
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"Sorry I couldn't be with you sooner Rey. Wookiees are just too clingy". I also like how little planning went into their briefing about their mission to contact Luke... They just send Chewbacca and a girl they barely even know to meet him without any briefing, interrogation or Force mind-reading. Not even backup to watch their backs in case they get ambushed by angry FO pilots... And Chewbacca is treated like a silly pet dog by Rey and barks orders at him on how to manage his own ship. Like wtf.
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The issue also reveals that before arriving to meet Luke, Rey single-handedly fought against a giant worm monster, discovered Boba Fett's old ship, fixed the old ship, used it to kill a gigantic worm monster from inside a junk pile and survived unharmed all in less than a minute, wielded her lightsaber with no trouble and then used the jedi mind trick to manipulate the ruler of the planet, and single-handedly ending slavery and tyranny on a planet all by herself, effectively conquering planet Necropolis, which was once one of the more deadlier planets in old canon, yet this teenage girl was able to just waltz on in and fuck shit up with no training and while still being a newbie to the galaxy at large...
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Look me in the eye and tell me this kid ain't a mary sue. And in the Snoke comic which I mentioned before, Kylo Ren and Snoke were shown to visit a dark side cave in the preview but it turns out they actually went to Dagobah and Snoke knew where Yoda was hiding all along... somehow.

In some surprising news, that old EU comic (the one that came out in May (the first one released since the Disney reboot years ago)) outsold all the new canon comics except the Galaxy's Edge one (since that was the GE's first issue (60,000 units sold) but it quickly dropped to pathetic numbers following its second issue (20,000 and dropping fast), with the only ones that came close to it in sales being the Age of Rebellion comics about Han and Boba (although they have a fair share of references to Disney shit and Kennedy pandering...).
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The downside is that if Marvel realizes the success of this, they may bring back the old EU just to wokify it, worsen it and/or fill it with references to Disney shit too. Anyway, Doctor Aphra's comic finally dropped to 20,000 as of August, making it the lowest selling ongoing SW comic for Marvel. Its expected to drop to 19,000 once the September results come in.

Honestly, I think the only reason people are still reading Doctor Aphra is to see if she'll ever, finally, get her comeuppance. Preferably by being Vader-sabered.

 

[Antipathy]

The Slave 1. Of all the things this bitch can steal from an old character, it had to be the one that belonged to two of them.

What the fuck even is this character at this point?

The term Mary Sue was coined in the 1972 mockery of Star Trek fanfiction known as A Trekkie's Tale. Ensign Mary Sue is a half Vulcan who is better than everyone else in Starfleet at every conceivable task, saving the Enterprise on numerous occasions. She eventually perishes, and everybody mourns over her, crying out about what a treasure the world had lost.

 

[a terminal posture]

It's a shame that RLM missed the point completely when they mocked that 50s diner scene.

View attachment 941071

They were right to trash it as it was lazy and hack. Lucas obviously wanted to do film noir but instead of evoking the atmosphere and visual language of noir he just jammed in jarring cultural references (art-deco decor, robot Flo) which is the equivalent of Lucas screaming 'I'M DOING FILM NOIR NOW GET IT?" It was as if in Star Wars, where Mos Eisley and the cantina are clearly supposed to be Western scenes, Lucas decided the viewers wouldn't get it and made the aliens wear cowboy hats, the cantina band play vaguely country and western music, the blasters shaped to look like six-shooters... HEY ITS THE WILD WEST GET IT?

 

[Wall-E]

Apologies if this has been posted already. I can’t 100% verify if this is real or not, but it’s just dumb enough to be real.

 

[Jub-Jub]

In some surprising news, that old EU comic (the one that came out in May (the first one released since the Disney reboot years ago)) outsold all the new canon comics except the Galaxy's Edge one (since that was the GE's first issue (60,000 units sold) but it quickly dropped to pathetic numbers following its second issue (20,000 and dropping fast), with the only ones that came close to it in sales being the Age of Rebellion comics about Han and Boba (although they have a fair share of references to Disney shit and Kennedy pandering...).

The downside is that if Marvel realizes the success of this, they may bring back the old EU just to wokify it, worsen it and/or fill it with references to Disney shit too. Anyway, Doctor Aphra's comic finally dropped to 20,000 as of August, making it the lowest selling ongoing SW comic for Marvel. Its expected to drop to 19,000 once the September results come in.

I know a few of you boys watch the CG thread, but to anybody that doesn't you should take Marvel's reported "sales" with a huge grain of salt. Marvel is notorious for using every scumbag trick in the book to boost their "sales numbers", issue #2 are likely closer to actual sell through numbers, yet still too high. Looking at the reported sales; I'd say SW and SWVDV are in the 30k range everything else might barely break the 20k barrier.

 

[Antipathy]

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Apologies if this has been posted already. I can’t 100% verify if this is real or not, but it’s just dumb enough to be real.

Jar Jar Abrams pulling out all the creative stops to try and 'disprove' Rey's Sueness and sell more toys here.
"DUR, LUKE AND ANAKIN LOST HAND SO REY LOSE HAND TOO! GENIUS!"

The problem with this is now Rey will be inconsistent and weak compared to her unstoppable Sue rampage in 7 and 8. If she could so easily have done all the things she did, what force could take her hand? And even more bafflingly, what story will this tell, with this force undoubtedly vanquished by the movie's end?

 

[Commander X]

From the Auralnauts, comedy/music producers who created their own fandub of the series have been having some fun with Kylo and have made better use of The Last Jedi footage than the original creators.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Apparently Forbes are having doubts Episode IX will be a hit.

‘Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker’: The Pessimistic Box Office Prediction

Let's look at threequels that sank like stones compared with their predecessors.

www.forbes.com

 

[Antipathy]

Apparently Forbes are having doubts Episode IX will be a hit.

‘Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker’: The Pessimistic Box Office Prediction

Let's look at threequels that sank like stones compared with their predecessors.

www.forbes.com

Mendelson is still fucking defending TLJ every time he brings it up, handwaving the absolute ratings bomb that film was as "vocal minorty". And yet even this corporate cocksucker is saying that things might be bad for the Rat.

 

[Creep3r]

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Apologies if this has been posted already. I can’t 100% verify if this is real or not, but it’s just dumb enough to be real.

I'm sorry to say this, but I think this might be shooped. Especially the slot that has her severed arm.

I hope its real though since it would just cement Rey as the ultimate donut steal.


In other news, that Geeks&Gamers guy along with some other youtubers went to Galaxy's Edge in Florida and they report that its almost empty.

He and another youtuber also spoke to the Darth Vader meet&greet who surprisingly made a subtle jab at Disney Wars. Vader standing up against Disney at the cost of his job... Truly the best sith lord.

Also spoiler/info shit:

1: A new piece of IX merch came out with all the main characters and villains from IX but completely excluding R2-D2... further hinting at his insignificance with this film. On the bright side, Rose is also excluded, possibly hinting at the supposed leak about her just being a background support character who only has one major scene in the film. That's bound to piss off the woke fans.

2: The recent issues of Marvel's SW comics have Leia reunite with her ex-boyfriend who is unironically named "Dar Champion" and he was created by Disney last month. Anyway, Leia falls for him again while Han acts like a retard, again... The 72nd issue of Marvel's shitty SW comic will also have C-3PO and Vader reunite "officially in canon" which is predictably making nu-fans squeal and act like its something that's actually happening, as in "OMG the true real deal meeting between them in Canon! Now we will know what really happened in reality!" (Get a grip people), but unlike the meeting in Dark Horse comics where it was just Vader reminiscing with 3PO's broken head on Bespin, their meeting in Disney will be while both are conscious, apparently played for laughs and it doesn't take place on Bespin despite that being the more logical reunion point, instead C-3PO protects some rock people from Vader on some planet called K43 and this all happens before ESB...

3: Speaking of C-3PO, the latest leak/rumor from the MakingStarWars podcast (episode 281) claims that C-3PO will "die" in IX in that when he gets rebooted to read sith runes, he has to have his memory erased, effectively committing suicide and being reborn as a completely different droid... If this is true that is the cheapest fucking attempt at tugging at people's heartstrings you could do...

4: The same leak claims that Leia will die and Chewbacca will have a faked death in IX.

5: Palpatine's resurrection won't be explained much like how it was never explained how Yellow Yoda acquired Luke's lightsaber. I assume its going to be much like that in that Palpatine will answer with "that is a story for another time" and Lucasfilm will use some shitty woke novel or comic to explain why he's alive.

6: Finn and the new black girl may be siblings which will serve as the film's own implied incest moment... There's also apparently a love triangle (or square) between Finn, Rey, Rose and the new black girl. Finn and Rose are in a relationship, but Finn wonders if he and Rey could still be a thing, but Finn is starting to bond with the new black girl, but Rose is jealous of Finn's closeness with the new black girl, but then her worries are put to rest when he reveals the new black girl is his sister, which fits with a previous leak claiming that the film will have Finn reunite with his family.

7: There's another kind of mcguffin in the film called "Ochi's Tomb" which will be on not-Tatooine. There's no one called Ochi in anything from Disney's EU or the old EU, so I have no idea what that's about other than being just another asspull.

8: R5-D4 aka Skippy the Jedi Droid may be appearing in the movie or will be getting his own show/movie on Disney+ for some fucking reason that is beyond my understanding. Disney... Skippy was just a joke who was featured alongside an SW parody of Pulp Fiction in a non-canon comedy comic from back in 1999... Stop taking him seriously. Or better yet do. Take him as seriously as possible and see how fucked you can make your timeline while Skippy haters like HelloGreedo are forced to become Lord Skippy's most devout apologists.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

In other news, that Geeks&Gamers guy along with some other youtubers went to Galaxy's Edge in Florida and they report that its almost empty.

Will Dobson remind me again why the park is a success?

 

[Adamska]

That's because the ST was made by OT purists with notalgia glasses.

No. It was made by non-fans who just want to write gay fanfiction and make money for it. They aren't OT purists in the fucking slightest since if they were, they'd actually want to use and care for the old materials. Instead, they want to make it a lifestyle brand to pretend they're trendy and cool.

And I'm laughing that they're throwing a bunch of shit ideas into their service channel and pretending it'll drive purchases. Sorry, but I'd rather not just pay multiple variants of a cable bill but less efficient.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

non-fans

That includes the following.

• Bob Iger
• Kathleen Kennedy
• JJ.Abrams
• Rian Johnson

 

[PeeveTheSheev]

You may want to smash the 'autistic' icon on this one.

I'd like to call to attention this comic page GeneralFriendliness posted, of Rey finding the Slave 1 (because of course she finds one of the most iconic craft from the OT);



Now, anyone who has seen ESB and AOTC will be able to tell you that the Slave 1's 'wings' are always parallel to the ground. They alter position during take off , as if on a swivel. Now, either Rey made a mistake and forgot to take off what I would assume to be the hand break for the wings (highly unlikely because when has she last made a mistake), or the sweatshop worker who drew this comic only took a cursory glance at a toy of the Slave 1 in landing position while doing the sketches. Then every single retard who signed off on this comic failed to spot the mistake, didn't care enough, or was overruled.

Call me cynical, but I expect the Slave 1 to be hamfisted elsewhere in nu-canon as we-



Welp. This does create a huge problem; Slave 1 was sitting on Takodana during TFA but is then found, hours later, lost and forgotten on some junkyard planet. I'd love to see Pablo Hidalgo lie his way out of this one, but then he'll probably just call Nu-Battlefront non-canon, or pull some bullshit about there being hitherto-unknown Firesprays. Mind, this would still not explain why the wings aren't repositioning themselves in the comic.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

This is autistic, but in TFA, why couldn’t Kyle Ren just have the First Order venture out in the missing area of the map he was looking for? To me it get like a massive dumb plot hole.

 

[Adamska]

This is autistic, but in TFA, why couldn’t Kyle Ren just have the First Order venture out in the missing area of the map he was looking for? To me it get like a massive dumb plot hole.

Because muh mystery box; muh macguffin to make the plot tense because I can't write good characters beyond fucking stereotypes.

 

[Muttnik]

I still don't know how JJ has the gall to do the mysterybox approach after what happened with Lost. Yeah, I know that Cuse and Lindelof oversaw lots of it but as the creator of the show, JJ had to have been responsible to some sizable extent. The whole show was essentially a massive scam with 99.9% of all the so-called "mysteries" having little to no explanations or answers beyond vague pretentious bullshit. So to have him pull this crap AGAIN after that con is really pathetic. They're not even good mysteries.

 

[Adamska]

I still don't know how JJ has the gall to do the mysterybox approach after what happened with Lost. Yeah, I know that Cuse and Lindelof oversaw lots of it but as the creator of the show, JJ had to have been responsible to some sizable extent. The whole show was essentially a massive scam with 99.9% of all the so-called "mysteries" having little to no explanations or answers beyond vague pretentious bullshit. So to have him pull this crap AGAIN after that con is really pathetic. They're not even good mysteries.

It's one thing to leave a few questions or have them build in a story; it's another to make swiss cheese, proclaim you'll solve it eventually, and use others to take the fall for you because you can't finish a project worth a damn. Remember, JarJar directed the hit shitshow known as Into Darkness; but most (or at least I did) remember and blame Orsi and Kurtzman, his two stooge writers for that atrocity.

But nah, that's what happens when he tries to continue a project; he fucks it up.

 

[Antipathy]

You may want to smash the 'autistic' icon on this one.

I'd like to call to attention this comic page GeneralFriendliness posted, of Rey finding the Slave 1 (because of course she finds one of the most iconic craft from the OT);

View attachment 942789

Now, anyone who has seen ESB and AOTC will be able to tell you that the Slave 1's 'wings' are always parallel to the ground. They alter position during take off , as if on a swivel. Now, either Rey made a mistake and forgot to take off what I would assume to be the hand break for the wings (highly unlikely because when has she last made a mistake), or the sweatshop worker who drew this comic only took a cursory glance at a toy of the Slave 1 in landing position while doing the sketches. Then every single exceptional individual who signed off on this comic failed to spot the mistake, didn't care enough, or was overruled.

Call me cynical, but I expect the Slave 1 to be hamfisted elsewhere in nu-canon as we-

View attachment 942803

Welp. This does create a huge problem; Slave 1 was sitting on Takodana during TFA but is then found, hours later, lost and forgotten on some junkyard planet. I'd love to see Pablo Hidalgo lie his way out of this one, but then he'll probably just call Nu-Battlefront non-canon, or pull some bullshit about there being hitherto-unknown Firesprays. Mind, this would still not explain why the wings aren't repositioning themselves in the comic.

Well, Rey, as is known, exerts a powerful force on memberberries, such as performing the following feats:
Finding Luke's old lightsaber
Finding the Millennium Falcon
Finding Han, Luke, Leia, and Chewie.
In less than two days. Her sheer Sue magnetism simply dragged the Slave I across space and time to be exactly where she wanted it to be.

 

[HeyYou]

No. It was made by non-fans who just want to write gay fanfiction and make money for it. They aren't OT purists in the fucking slightest since if they were, they'd actually want to use and care for the old materials. Instead, they want to make it a lifestyle brand to pretend they're trendy and cool.

And I'm laughing that they're throwing a bunch of shit ideas into their service channel and pretending it'll drive purchases. Sorry, but I'd rather not just pay multiple variants of a cable bill but less efficient.

JJ is definitely an OT purist. I don't think he understands what made the OT great, but considering podracing flags on Maz Kanata's castle were removed in the Blu-Ray (and potentially theatrical) release of TFA after appearing in the trailer, a completely petty and unnecessary change on par with the dumbest Special Edition changes, he definitely falls under the worst strain of OT fans. You didn't need to remove them to "divorce" the movie from the prequels, Maz Kanata also found Anakin's lightsaber and seemed to know a lot about him. It's perfectly reasonable to assume she would display some podracing flags from a huge race that he won.

Rian Johnson genuinely seems to not be a Star Wars fan, at all. He doesn't like its pulpiness that it takes completely seriously, and he doesn't like that at its core it tries to avoid being an edgelord gray-morality mess.