Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

Apparently there's a reason why Porgs are constantly paired up with Chewbacca. Other than for max cutesy merchandising, the Porg that constantly hangs out with nu-Chewie is supposed to become a recurring character in SW media and IX and a replacement for a certain someone, with the upcoming IDW comic officially cementing it as Chewbacca's new sidekick and the replacement for a once beloved character.
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Currently this little piece of forced merchandising is nicknmed "Porg Stowaway" in official material and "Terbus" by Rian in a podcast, but the comic will apparently reveal its real name, which is apparently... Han the Porg. He will even get his own little Han Solo vest... Might as well dishonor Han's legacy some more while they're at it and claim that this little jerk is Han's reincarnation (which was apparently in a lot fake leaks and rumors surrounding TLJ). This is what Chewie and Han are reduced to... Walking advertisements for a failed line of Disney dolls.
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I can already see it... Kylo Ren lost and wounded in a cave in IX when suddenly he sees the ghost of his father, but when his vision ends, all that's there is a shitty little Porg wearing a black vest.
 
JJ is definitely an OT purist. I don't think he understands what made the OT great, but considering podracing flags on Maz Kanata's castle were removed in the Blu-Ray (and potentially theatrical) release of TFA after appearing in the trailer, a completely petty and unnecessary change on par with the dumbest Special Edition changes, he definitely falls under the worst strain of OT fans. You didn't need to remove them to "divorce" the movie from the prequels, Maz Kanata also found Anakin's lightsaber and seemed to know a lot about him. It's perfectly reasonable to assume she would display some podracing flags from a huge race that he won.

Rian Johnson genuinely seems to not be a Star Wars fan, at all. He doesn't like its pulpiness that it takes completely seriously, and he doesn't like that at its core it tries to avoid being an edgelord gray-morality mess.


That little shit is apparently getting a redemption arc if the reviews for Knives Out are any indication.
 
Nothing wrong with presenting grey morality. That's stuff that even permeates myth/pulp. It just needs to be done intelligently.

Makes me think of what they could do for future Star Wars story(post Skywalkers):

Something that reflects our time but has eternal/mythical themes....
There's well written gray morality, which a few EU works managed to do without going overboard, and edgelord gray morality, which is trying to make two sides comparable when they're not. No matter how much Rian wants us to think Luke and Kylo are equally bad, they're not, and no matter how much we're supposed to think the New Republic and First Order are alike due to Canto Bight, they're not. For what it's worth, George Lucas abhorred trying to make the Jedi and Sith comparable. You may hate the midichlorians and Chosen One prophecy but even before that the Sith were still very much the bad guys, and they needed to be taken out.
 
Oh shit.
So its official. There's now an investigation going on into Disney's shit and employees are snitching. Bob Chapek (chairman of Parks and one of the "geniuses" behind GE) confirmed for swindler and crook too apparently.
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We know the Mouse will buy off the investigators and get a 50 mil fine, if that. I am genuinely surprised the SEC is interested, though, and found the whistleblower credible.
 
And Leia is so "emotional" and her reasoning is so "heartfelt"...
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This actually made me grunt. They answer the criticism that Leia completely ignores Chewi after Han's death... by making her an absolutely abhorrent and cold hearted bitch that sounds like she does neither care about her former husband being stabbed to death by her own son nor the guy she supposedly comforts. Holy shit. She acts like Chewie was needing a comforting hug after dropping his ice cream cone. Fucking shit.

They just send Chewbacca and a girl they barely even know to meet him without any briefing, interrogation or Force mind-reading.
Isn't that a nice alternate story idea: Rey is actually a Sith apprentice that is under deep cover, doesn't even know she's a sleeper herself, and when she finally meets Luke, she snaps and attacks him. Would explain her powers at least.

did she tho? the most laughable thing was the whole setup in that scene. "OH NOES THAT BIG GUNS GONNA KILL US ALL!" which is played up so much finn wants to sacrifice himself (which would give his char at least some sort of sense) to prevent it from firing - only to blow a hole in the wall the size of a garage door. and then what? so not only would finns sacrifice be completely worthless even without rose, even when the absolute worst thing happens, the cannon firing - it makes zero fucking difference.
The whole problem with that Not-Hoth fight: Hiding there only serves a purpose when you actually... y'know... hide.
When the FO knows you're there, they can just level that entire mountainrange with the bunker from orbit.

So even if Finn had sacrificed himself and destroyed the cannon, the rebells would still be fucked, since the FO will just obliterate them with any other weapon they got.

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Apologies if this has been posted already. I can’t 100% verify if this is real or not, but it’s just dumb enough to be real.
Looks fake to me, and part of me hopes it is. If Rey remains as strong as she was in TFA and TLJ, it's way easier to point out her Sue-iness. If she gets her arm chopped off in a (at this point) completely out-of-character moment, nuFans would point at that and go "See, she's not a Sue, she lost her arm!".

3: Speaking of C-3PO, the latest leak/rumor from the MakingStarWars podcast (episode 281) claims that C-3PO will "die" in IX in that when he gets rebooted to read sith runes, he has to have his memory erased, effectively committing suicide and being reborn as a completely different droid... If this is true that is the cheapest fucking attempt at tugging at people's heartstrings you could do...
Here's a leak of said scene.

Take him as seriously as possible and see how fucked you can make your timeline while Skippy haters like HelloGreedo are forced to become Lord Skippy's most devout apologists.
It'll be easy. "Skippy was shit in the EU until Disney fixed him!"

In less than two days. Her sheer Sue magnetism simply dragged the Slave I across space and time to be exactly where she wanted it to be.
Personally, I'm just waiting until she just so happens to stumble upon a perfectly operational, stocked and staffed Death Star to defeat the FO.
 
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For what it's worth, George Lucas abhorred trying to make the Jedi and Sith comparable. You may hate the midichlorians and Chosen One prophecy but even before that the Sith were still very much the bad guys, and they needed to be taken out.

The problem there is that Lucas did it by accident, the Jedi in the PT were just as awful as the Sith.

Anakin : "Are you here to free the slaves"
Jin: "Fuck no, we are here saving this Rich Important Queen person, you sand niggers don't matter."
Anakin: "But I have Force powers!"
Jin: "Okay we save you."
Anakin: "What about my mom?"
Jin: "No she is a Sand Nigger."
 
6: Finn and the new black girl may siblings which will serve as the film's own implied incest moment... There's also apparently a love triangle (or square) between Finn, Rey, Rose and the new black girl. Finn and Rose are in a relationship, but Finn wonders if he and Rey could still be a thing, but Finn is starting to bond with the new black girl, but Rose is jealous of Finn's closeness with the new black girl, but then her worries are put to rest when he reveals the new black girl is his sister, which fits with a previous leak claiming that the film will have Finn reunite with his family.
With the other rumor of her also being an escaped stormtrooper that was previously kidnapped as a kid, every potential interesting point or possible story arc has been stolen from Finn. He is now only a bumbling buffoon / comic relief character close to the level of JarJar Binks. We've laughed about this before (~200 pages ago) with one of the reddit leaks from ~1year ago now appearing accurate, although with 6-12 different cuts of the film and re-shoots still being done who knows how much they can change.

What i wouldn't give for a true behind the scenes capture ala TPM instead of the Disney dreck we'll get. You know that JJ has sat in the same stunned silence 'we may have gone too far in a few places' after screening and hiting the storyboard with his head that George did.
That little shit is apparently getting a redemption arc if the reviews for Knives Out are any indication.
Current year clownworld rules mean that the film will be hated by the general public.
 
The problem there is that Lucas did it by accident, the Jedi in the PT were just as awful as the Sith.

Anakin : "Are you here to free the slaves"
Jin: "Fuck no, we are here saving this Rich Important Queen person, you sand niggers don't matter."
Anakin: "But I have Force powers!"
Jin: "Okay we save you."
Anakin: "What about my mom?"
Jin: "No she is a Sand Nigger."
That's like saying we should fight more wars in the Middle East to save them. It's gone so well before.
 
That's like saying we should fight more wars in the Middle East to save them. It's gone so well before.
No but you probably shouldn't save one person just because he is "genetically superior" to the rest of the middle easterners.
 
No but you probably shouldn't save one person just because he is "genetically superior" to the rest of the middle easterners.
Countries do that all the time when they attempt to vet highly skilled immigrants, if we're going with the same comparison. It's why tons of South Americans have to claim refugee status. Anakin would be like a 200 IQ biochemistry genius with severe anger issues, the US would absolutely jump at that chance.

The Jedi are really at their worse in the prequels when Anakin asks to go after Grievous and just because they don't like that Palpatine forced him onto the council they basically insulted him and said he couldn't handle it, unlike Obi-Wan.
 
Countries do that all the time when they attempt to vet highly skilled immigrants, if we're going with the same comparison. It's why tons of South Americans have to claim refugee status. Anakin would be like a 200 IQ biochemistry genius with severe anger issues, the US would absolutely jump at that chance.
The Jedi are supposed to be righteous and virtuous, so doing that would be okay for some mere soldier under control of the senate, but for supposed chivalrious Jedi Knight, it's a no-go.
 
The Jedi are supposed to be righteous and virtuous, so doing that would be okay for some mere soldier under control of the senate, but for supposed chivalrious Jedi Knight, it's a no-go.
It's not a perfect comparison because in Star Wars a person with force potential running around without guidance is a recipe for disaster. The Jedi took him in to hopefully train his talents to the point that he could help tons of people in the galaxy. They made tons of mistakes, like the fact that there was a very selfish hope that Anakin would also basically be their warrior to destroy the Sith and they didn't respect and understand Anakin's emotions, but they're not going around genociding populations, blowing up planets, or killing people on a whim. That's when Star Wars can be well-written gray. Have the Sith be pieces of shits but some of them make good points or have interesting philosophies, like Revan, Caedus and Kreia. Have the Jedi be flawed and basically torn on an issue, like the KOTOR era Jedi regarding the Mandalorian War and Luke's Order about the Vong. All of this adds depth without compromising the fact that the Jedi are mostly good and the Sith are mostly evil.
 
The whole problem with that Not-Hoth fight: Hiding there only serves a purpose when you actually... y'know... hide.
When the FO knows you're there, they can just level that entire mountainrange with the bunker from orbit.

wasn't the idea to also ask for help and wait for reinforcements? because with the new tlj lore hyperjumps are apparently instant.
they had to get off the ship either way because of LOLFUEL, never saw the move as hiding (which fell through the moment danger hair cooked up her genius plan and didn't execute it for hours because reasons)

The problem there is that Lucas did it by accident, the Jedi in the PT were just as awful as the Sith.

well, you can't save everybody, especially as a jedi. but imo it was on purpose to show how arrogant and above-it-all jedis had become and to give anakin another stepping stone to "fall" later, just with shit writing (which is really the main problem of the PT).
I mean it becomes even more stupid considering they simply had to buy her, had amidala buy her or, in truly grey fashion, mindfuck watto to just hand her over, essentially doing "bad" for a "good" outcome. there was zero reason to leaving her there except for the plot.
qui-gon was simply acting in the boundaries that were forced on him, maybe "I think it sucks but gonna do it anyway" was grey and rebellious enough in lucas' mind.
 
wasn't the idea to also ask for help and wait for reinforcements? because with the new tlj lore hyperjumps are apparently instant.
they had to get off the ship either way because of LOLFUEL, never saw the move as hiding (which fell through the moment danger hair cooked up her genius plan and didn't execute it for hours because reasons)
The plan was to hide on Not-Hoth, wait for the fleet to pass and then call for reinforcements. After all, they used stealth ships to sneak off the Raddus and their plan started to fall apart when that stuttering idiot told the FO to look out the goddamned windows. When they were found out and barely made it down to the base, they called for immediate backup but no one bothered to answer and I can't blame them, Leia is a terrible leader as of nuWars.

This is also the point where I should point out that the base they were hiding at was known to the FO, so why they didn't put 2 and 2 together and figured the Rebells are aiming for their old base is beyond me. Watching both the Rebells and the FO out-stupid each other in some sort of stellar special olympics would be pretty fun if it wasn't so sad and maddening.
 
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