Containment What If?

[fuzzypickles]

What if Chris was Scottish?

Spoiler

We already got a taste of what a Scottish Chris would be like, from the man himself.

 

[Apocalypso]

What if Chris was a chimpanzee?

 

[AnOminous]

What if Chris was a chimpanzee?

Humans are barely above chimpanzees anyway. But Chris would have chimped out with results like this.

Spoiler: Grody Stuff

 

[Marvin]

Humans are barely above chimpanzees anyway. But Chris would have chimped out with results like this.

Spoiler: Grody Stuff

View attachment 15509

Oh god, dipshits owning pet chimps are the worst.

 

[MrJakeTerror]

What if that ED page was never made?

 

[Morbid Boredom]

What if that ED page was never made?

Chris would be like any number of other lonely weirdos who are far less well-documented.

 

[Ho Mo for Women]

What if Chris robbed a bank?

 

[CWCissey]

What if Chris robbed a bank?

He'd get caught after posting about how he did it on Facebook.

Same as with every other crime.

 

[Honeyrabbit]

He'd get caught after posting about how he did it on Facebook.

Same as with every other crime.

I AM THE Victim here! I merely POINTED the Gun at the Employee whose LOUD SCREAM startled me!

 

[Stud2Stud]

I AM THE Victim here! I merely POINTED the Gun at the Employee whose LOUD SCREAM startled me into taking the money!

fixed that for you

 

[Honeyrabbit]

fixed that for you

But Chris didn't take the money. The money was rightfully his, but the trolls were keeping it from him.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

What if Chris robbed a bank?

Chris would probably revise the list of "the only ban worthy offenses" he made up to claim that he can't be banned for anything ever, while playing the "descendant of royalty" card. (IRL, he thinks that he can only banned for stuff like armed robbery.)

 

[Stud2Stud]

What if Chris was stranded on an Island and was treated as the god of some uncivilised tribe of people who've never seen another white guy?

 

[Dilbertmann]

What if Chris was stranded on an Island and was treated as the god of some uncivilised tribe of people who've never seen another white guy?

He'd be the divine ruler, demanding the removal of blue arms and creating a primitive version of CWCville and impregnate the females before being overthrown by a random drug cartel excaping the cops.

 

[fuzzypickles]

What if Chris was a drug dealer?

 

[Marvin]

What if Chris was stranded on an Island and was treated as the god of some uncivilised tribe of people who've never seen another white guy?

Y'know, with cargo cults, they still have to see some benefit from their worship. They'd ditch him when they noticed he ate more grain than he blessed them with.

 

[Apocalypso]

What if Chris was a drug dealer?

Spoiler

The perils of not doing market research

What if Chris murdered Michael Snyder?

 

[Ho Mo for Women]

What if Chris murdered Michael Snyder?

Chris would claim Michael Snyder killed himself to make him look bad.
"That dang greedy JEW Snyder DELIBERATELY cut his own head off just to get me in trouble! I should be UNBANNED from his store as soon as he wakes up!"

 

[Wapanese Man-O-War]

What if Chris murdered Michael Snyder?

He'd probably claim that the trolls pressured him into doing it, holding his current sweetheart hostage.

 

[Konstantinos]

What if Chris was a drug dealer?

He would start another house fire while trying to cook meth. He's probably blame it on a faulty Bunsen burner and then admit that he was trying to make drugs on Facebook.