DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[bearsintrees]

View attachment 952627

Heard something strange, instantly took his headphones off, turned out to be a dog barking. Cancelled a stream last night because he couldn't hear his doorbell or a box truck arriving.

 

[Nigel of Ukip]

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I'm with this guy. I would bet a years worth of taxes that Phil bought the bike off amazon and then paid extra for Amazon to send a person out to his home and put it together. Then when it broke he blamed it all on the amazon employee. That explains why Amazon would actually give in to his ridiculous demand of returning it without taking it apart.

Also, didn't he say he needed a night off a few weeks back to have "condo maintenance" even though he has never had to do that before? You could tell it was a bullshit story and eventually he said it just got cancelled. Maybe that's when the amazon employee was supposed to come put the bike together but it didn't show up until the next day when he was off?

I don't know where people get this information from, but I doubt it's the one.
He said it cost around 300$ on his pre stream. Of all things I don't see why he would lie about this.
The whole thing about Phil trying to waste as little money as possible because he's cheap doesn't apply to himself, he doesn't penny pinch for himself or Katherine.

Also I have absolutely no doubt he knows how much it cost, I have zero doubt. If anything I'm guessing he lowered the price.

 

[Fuckyoudad]

Are you guys seriously trying to tell me that you think this is the face of a compulsive liar?

Does this look like a man who would blow an additional $90+ to have an exercise bike asembled by easy mode 9-5'ers for his roommate ehehehm I mean wife after considering the dangerous cocktail of ineptitude + laziness + easy money burning a hole in his pahcket?

This man cannot stop lying to save his family. I love it. The bike was a member of the family.. he had to protect it okay?

 

[bearsintrees]

I find the $300 number quite interesting, because that's waaaay too much to pay for a cheap Chinese exercise bike as Phil claims, but also waaaaaaaaaaay too little to pay for a decent recumbent bike or elliptical trainer that someone who wants to get fit at home would buy. And I'm definitely not seeing Phil's parents giving Kat $1000 for her birthday. As always, there's number fuckery going on here.

 

[Toilet Man]

Are you guys seriously trying to tell me that you think this is the face of a compulsive liar?

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Does this look like a man who would blow an additional $90+ to have an exercise bike asembled by easy mode 9-5'ers for his roommate ehehehm I mean wife after considering the dangerous cocktail of ineptitude + laziness + easy money burning a hole in his pahcket?

This man cannot stop lying to save his family. I love it. The bike was a member of the family.. he had to protect it okay?

Spoiler

Feels bad.

 

[DiabeticSP]

If Phil had been willing to dissasemble the bike none of this would have been an issue.

Kat is probably furious she can't even get a simple exercise bike without all this autism.

Edit:
$100 - bike
$20 - taxes on bike
$50 - shipping
$140 - assembly

~$300 bike.

 

[Nigel of Ukip]

Jeremy drank the kool-aid. He already sounds like Phil.

 

[GnomeofDoc]

I find the $300 number quite interesting, because that's waaaay too much to pay for a cheap Chinese exercise bike as Phil claims, but also waaaaaaaaaaay too little to pay for a decent recumbent bike or elliptical trainer that someone who wants to get fit at home would buy. And I'm definitely not seeing Phil's parents giving Kat $1000 for her birthday. As always, there's number fuckery going on here.

Gym fag here. Can confirm that your reputable exercise machine companies have their starting machines at around ~$700-$1250.That price range is for base models, no lcd touch screens, phone chargers or fancy Bluetooth shit. These are made for high usage at a gym with the expectation of being used all day. The larger price comes from brand name and more importantly is warranty.
For home use, buy used, there are gym auctions where you can buy stuff that’s in good shape and for a good discount.

Unless you go with TechnoGym then the starting price for some of their bikes is $4,250 which we know Phil didn’t go with.

Exercise bike | Stationary bike | Indoor bike | Technogym

Choose from our range of exercise bikes, stationary bike and indoor bike with Technogym. Find the exercise bike tailored to your needs now.

www.technogym.com

 

[ZehnBoat]

Of all things I don't see why he would lie about this.

phil will literally lie about any little thing

 

[Pargon]

phil will literally lie about any little thing

Agreed. One thing we know for certain is that Phil is properly paranoid. We have no idea what leaps in logic his brain makes when he decides why and how he needs to lie about any given subject.

 

[Prince Lotor]

Tinfoil Theory time: Kathy has a gym that she already goes to. Doesn't Phil's gated community have a gym? Kathy can hop in the car and be at the gym within moments anytime she wants. I highly doubt Kathy wants a cardio machine for the house for her to use after being on her feet walking around a store at her job all day.
Maybe Kathy wanted the exercise machine """for both of them""" and her present was really just an excuse to get a cardio machine in the house so she can force Phil to start using it while he's watching TV. Surely she's aware how massivly unhealthy her bag of skin & fat husband is.
Phil claims to 'collapse with exhaustion' after getting back from his day off where he had to intermittently waddle and stand for a couple hours in-between eating at several restaurants and car rides. He claims they both collapse with exhaustion, but I highly doubt Kathy who works retail and goes to the gym is at all winded after what amounts to a light half day of work with many long breaks. Maybe Kathy collapses with emotional exhaustion from having to put up with her husband for several hours in a row, but it's not exhaustion from physical exertion.

So my Tinfoil Theory is that Phil had some inkling in some corner of his lazy oink-oink brain that he was going to be expected to use this cardio machine on a routine basis because Kathy was going to force him, so he passive aggressively did everything in his power to fuck it up.

• When he ordered it he specifically did not select the option to have it professionally assembled for an extra $70
• When he assembled it himself he did a shitty half-ass job, but it was not his fault and there was nothing he could do because the assembly instructions were in fucking Taiwanese or broken English (like 'Insert Tab A into Slot B' or some gobbledygook, who talks like that?)
• Upon assembly Phil seems to have immediately declared the machine unsafe because it was making a noise he didn't like, or it 'locked up' after 15 minutes of use;
• and even though this would clearly be his fault for doing a piss-poor job assembling it he did not attempt to fix it and instead declared it defective
• He then spent the next couple weeks demanding a full refund and that someone come to get the goddamn thing out of his house fully (shittily) assembled as Phil refused to ever touch the devil machine again.
• Phil also threw multiple temper tantrums about the freight company hauling it away for him and locked Kathy's cat in a room for hours at a time.

In conclusion: Phil purposefully fucked all this shit up and sperged the fuck out about it for weeks so that he can claim to have 'Exercise Machine related PTSD and Anxiety' so that if ever the subject of an exercise machine for the middle-unit condo is brought up again he can immediately shut down all discussion of it, because he is a fat, lazy pigroach.

I will be proven somewhat wrong about my conclusion if Phil actually uses the refund to purchase another piece of In-home cardio equipment (that Kathy wants for Phil to use) as you would think would happen when you buy someone a birthday present, then it breaks and you get a refund. My guess is we will never hear about another piece of In-home exercise equipment, or what was bought as a replacement birthday present for Kathy with the refund.

 

[ZehnBoat]

Agreed. One thing we know for certain is that Phil is properly paranoid. We have no idea what leaps in logic his brain makes when he decides why and how he needs to lie about any given subject.

like it's basically a fetish for him
you can ask him something like "did you drink the milk and put the carton in the fridge?"
and you'd get a 25 minute ramble about how it was tervin and how his life was in danger, and he did drink the milk but he also didn't and put it in the fridge so the trolls couldn't dox the milk
then later he'll say that he had to lie about giving the milk to jasper because if the mentally ill detractors knew, they would kill the cat
then a week later he'll say you did it anyway

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

Tinfoil Theory time: Kathy has a gym that she already goes to. Doesn't Phil's gated community have a gym? Kathy can hop in the car and be at the gym within moments anytime she wants. I highly doubt Kathy wants a cardio machine for the house for her to use after being on her feet walking around a store at her job all day.
Maybe Kathy wanted the exercise machine """for both of them""" and her present was really just an excuse to get a cardio machine in the house so she can force Phil to start using it while he's watching TV. Surely she's aware how massivly unhealthy her bag of skin & fat husband is.
Phil claims to 'collapse with exhaustion' after getting back from his day off where he had to intermittently waddle and stand for a couple hours in-between eating at several restaurants and car rides. He claims they both collapse with exhaustion, but I highly doubt Kathy who works retail and goes to the gym is at all winded after what amounts to a light half day of work with many long breaks. Maybe Kathy collapses with emotional exhaustion from having to put up with her husband for several hours in a row, but it's not exhaustion from physical exertion.

So my Tinfoil Theory is that Phil had some inkling in some corner of his lazy oink-oink brain that he was going to be expected to use this cardio machine on a routine basis because Kathy was going to force him, so he passive aggressively did everything in his power to fuck it up.

• When he ordered it he specifically did not select the option to have it professionally assembled for an extra $70
• When he assembled it himself he did a shitty half-ass job, but it was not his fault and there was nothing he could do because the assembly instructions were in fucking Taiwanese or broken English (like 'Insert Tab A into Slot B' or some gobbledygook, who talks like that?)
• Upon assembly Phil seems to have immediately declared the machine unsafe because it was making a noise he didn't like, or it 'locked up' after 15 minutes of use;
• and even though this would clearly be his fault for doing a piss-poor job assembling it he did not attempt to fix it and instead declared it defective
• He then spent the next couple weeks demanding a full refund and that someone come to get the goddamn thing out of his house fully (shittily) assembled as Phil refused to ever touch the devil machine again.
• Phil also threw multiple temper tantrums about the freight company hauling it away for him and locked Kathy's cat in a room for hours at a time.

In conclusion: Phil purposefully fucked all this shit up and sperged the fuck out about it for weeks so that he can claim to have 'Exercise Machine related PTSD and Anxiety' so that if ever the subject of an exercise machine for the middle-unit condo is brought up again he can immediately shut down all discussion of it, because he is a fat, lazy pigroach.

I will be proven somewhat wrong about my conclusion if Phil actually uses the refund to purchase another piece of In-home cardio equipment (that Kathy wants for Phil to use) as you would think would happen when you buy someone a birthday present, then it breaks and you get a refund. My guess is we will never hear about another piece of In-home exercise equipment, or what was bought as a replacement birthday present for Kathy with the refund.

I still want to know where he was going to put the thing. Giving the last time we have seen his place, there doesn't seem to be anyplace aside form possibly Khet's "office''. Didn't he claim it was taking up space just sitting there? Does he have no room in his garage?

Would he possibly have had someone build it for him, or at least had people move it in since his poor lil' ol' back? I doubt he would use what little strength he has to move it from downstairs to upstairs and vice versa.

 

[Prince Lotor]

I still want to know where he was going to put the thing. Giving the last time we have seen his place, there doesn't seem to be anyplace aside form possibly Khet's "office''. Didn't he claim it was taking up space just sitting there? Does he have no room in his garage?

Would he possibly have had someone build it for him, or at least had people move it in since his poor lil' ol' back? I doubt he would use what little strength he has to move it from downstairs to upstairs and vice versa.

I think we definitely would have heard a solid 10 minutes of bitching if he had had to lug the thing upstairs at all even in pieces, whether to Kathy's game room or the bedroom, and I assume it went in front of a TV. So my guess would be Kathy rearranged the living room somehow to put it in there.

 

[Sparkletor]

The bike weighs 79 lbs. According to what Phil has said in the past, no human being would be able to lift that much weight. Logically the bike had to be in the ground floor. Since the living room is full and the kitchen makes no sense, I would believe the bike was in the area where he puts his Christmas tree.

Phil had no time to disassemble the bike. He also had time to sit next to his door and do nothing for 2 hours. Figure that out.

I saw a few people ask, "Why don't the guys just call Phil when they show up?". Phil has said in several videos that the security gate buzzer calls his phone. He then presses a button to open the gate. If the delivery guys showed up and punched Phil's address into the keypad at the gate it would call him. Phil always has his phone on his lap, he would not be inconvenienced.

Some people found a $100 bike that Phil might have bought. Phil says the model he bought was $300. Why the difference? Paranoia. Phil doesn't want any information about him known unless he releases it. If he got a red umbrella, he would tell people he bought a blue one. If he went to dinner at Red Lobster, he would say he went to McDonald's. If he was 4th place at evo, he would say he was 1st. He did surprise me by actually being valedictorian, but we then found out his school was a shithole and teaches the kids to spend all their money when it literally rains.

 

[Nigel of Ukip]

phil will literally lie about any little thing

It doesn't make sense for him to claim he spent more money on something before crying about needing money, more so because it was "Katherine's money".
People can believe Phil and Katherine only wasted 150$, I'm not going to argue that, but why would he low ball the price of everything else he does / gets? If anything he wasted more money on that thing, and 300$ seemed cheap to him.

 

[Raven'sChild]

It doesn't make sense for him to claim he spent more money on something before crying about needing money, more so because it was "Katherine's money".
People can believe Phil and Katherine only wasted 150$, I'm not going to argue that, but why would he low ball the price of everything else he does / gets? If anything he wasted more money on that thing, and 300$ seemed cheap to him.

Hmm, Seeing as being out for 4 hours ( according to Panda) = All Day ( according to D$P)...$100+ for the item + $150+/- for assembly= ~$300 in D$Peak. Another possibility being Mrs. D$P told him she spent $300 on the bike in order to keep the rest with D$P being none the wiser. How was she to know he'd assemble it incorrectly? This could be part of his annoyance: she got caught out red handed! My third idea being D$P didn't want to admit to his wife being forced to buy such an insanely cheap piece of exercise equipment because his parents only sent her a hundred dollar bill in a b'day card and he wasn't willing to pony up anything toward buying a reasonably priced one that would last more than 15 mins. I mean why would he? He chuckled at her being pissed off about the entire situation to the point of her not using the refund to buy another piece of exercise equipment. Not like he's going to get anything out of it and he certainly doesn't want to! It would be markedly more difficult to balk at getting up off the downstairs sofa in order to get some exercise (going to the gym with her/outside for a walk) which I am sure he has a laundry list of stream chat excuses as to why it is impossible IF there was an elliptical trainer INSIDE the house! This would be the worst case scenario for him and one would not put it past him purposefully putting the thing together wrong to nip this sort of thing in the bud right quick! Now, IF she had decided to buy an outdoor grill or an aquarium....Heck! He'd have doubled maybe tripled what ever his parents sent. That I feel confident about.

 

[Radical Goodspeed]

Tinfoil Theory time: Kathy has a gym that she already goes to. Doesn't Phil's gated community have a gym? Kathy can hop in the car and be at the gym within moments anytime she wants. I highly doubt Kathy wants a cardio machine for the house for her to use after being on her feet walking around a store at her job all day.
Maybe Kathy wanted the exercise machine """for both of them""" and her present was really just an excuse to get a cardio machine in the house so she can force Phil to start using it while he's watching TV. Surely she's aware how massivly unhealthy her bag of skin & fat husband is.
Phil claims to 'collapse with exhaustion' after getting back from his day off where he had to intermittently waddle and stand for a couple hours in-between eating at several restaurants and car rides. He claims they both collapse with exhaustion, but I highly doubt Kathy who works retail and goes to the gym is at all winded after what amounts to a light half day of work with many long breaks. Maybe Kathy collapses with emotional exhaustion from having to put up with her husband for several hours in a row, but it's not exhaustion from physical exertion.

So my Tinfoil Theory is that Phil had some inkling in some corner of his lazy oink-oink brain that he was going to be expected to use this cardio machine on a routine basis because Kathy was going to force him, so he passive aggressively did everything in his power to fuck it up.

• When he ordered it he specifically did not select the option to have it professionally assembled for an extra $70
• When he assembled it himself he did a shitty half-ass job, but it was not his fault and there was nothing he could do because the assembly instructions were in fucking Taiwanese or broken English (like 'Insert Tab A into Slot B' or some gobbledygook, who talks like that?)
• Upon assembly Phil seems to have immediately declared the machine unsafe because it was making a noise he didn't like, or it 'locked up' after 15 minutes of use;
• and even though this would clearly be his fault for doing a piss-poor job assembling it he did not attempt to fix it and instead declared it defective
• He then spent the next couple weeks demanding a full refund and that someone come to get the goddamn thing out of his house fully (shittily) assembled as Phil refused to ever touch the devil machine again.
• Phil also threw multiple temper tantrums about the freight company hauling it away for him and locked Kathy's cat in a room for hours at a time.

In conclusion: Phil purposefully fucked all this shit up and sperged the fuck out about it for weeks so that he can claim to have 'Exercise Machine related PTSD and Anxiety' so that if ever the subject of an exercise machine for the middle-unit condo is brought up again he can immediately shut down all discussion of it, because he is a fat, lazy pigroach.

I will be proven somewhat wrong about my conclusion if Phil actually uses the refund to purchase another piece of In-home cardio equipment (that Kathy wants for Phil to use) as you would think would happen when you buy someone a birthday present, then it breaks and you get a refund. My guess is we will never hear about another piece of In-home exercise equipment, or what was bought as a replacement birthday present for Kathy with the refund.

This highlights my philosophy that those that watching Phil to see some kind of karmic suffering for his various indiscretions should just watch his health decline. For Phil, its a total blindspot and even as his body fails him, he'll refuse to see that he isn't really a chad. The man will spend his last breath ensuring he gets every penny coming to him, but if a doctor told him to take 3 steps outside a day to save his life, he'd take two and then... you know the catchphrase.

Phil's Wife, for reasons, gets Phil an exercise bike in a not-so-subtle push to get her overly-sensitive spouse to improve himself without making him literally cry. She may not like being insulted by strangers on the internet, but Phil is the kind of man who cannot take critique, even from the woman who legally promised him her vagina in exchange for his dick.

Then, Phil does just enough to reasonably say "I got the bike, fuck you," to those who tell him he's unhealthy and lazy and needs to get some exercise, while also doing all he can to not have to actually use the bike or generally uphold his end of a legal contract.

Ignoring that he did all of that to own the trolls, if this were true, imagine going to all of this just to not act on a gentle nudge from your lock-her-in-a-closet-if-she-acts-up, wife?

To say nothing of the fact that not using the bike only screws over his health and attractiveness to his wife (lol) in the long run...

 

[Providence Backing_21]

This highlights my philosophy that those that watching Phil to see some kind of karmic suffering for his various indiscretions should just watch his health decline. For Phil, its a total blindspot and even as his body fails him, he'll refuse to see that he isn't really a chad. The man will spend his last breath ensuring he gets every penny coming to him, but if a doctor told him to take 3 steps outside a day to save his life, he'd take two and then... you know the catchphrase.

Phil's Wife, for reasons, gets Phil an exercise bike in a not-so-subtle push to get her overly-sensitive spouse to improve himself without making him literally cry. She may not like being insulted by strangers on the internet, but Phil is the kind of man who cannot take critique, even from the woman who legally promised him her vagina in exchange for his dick.

Then, Phil does just enough to reasonably say "I got the bike, fuck you," to those who tell him he's unhealthy and lazy and needs to get some exercise, while also doing all he can to not have to actually use the bike or generally uphold his end of a legal contract.

Ignoring that he did all of that to own the trolls, if this were true, imagine going to all of this just to not act on a gentle nudge from your lock-her-in-a-closet-if-she-acts-up, wife?

To say nothing of the fact that not using the bike only screws over his health and attractiveness to his wife (lol) in the long run...

It's amazing how bad his health is at this point he's basically wasting away. Which he believes is great because of weight loss. Even back during the house tours in 2014 he was out of breath just walking upstairs. The bike was a hint and he didn't like that. I do think Khat wants her husband to get healthier so he doesn't drop dead.

 

[Filthy Greenskin]

I think suggesting that Kat would spend her birthday money on a present for her overweight / unwashed / lazy / boozer / unhygienic husband is a bit of a stretch seeing that she's seemingly had little to do with him aside from their scheduled one day together. More than likely it was bought for herself that she could take with her if / when she ups sticks or like Phil, she doesn't like going out.

However, if Kat was at a gym or anything then wouldn't there be some kind of fee to pay? Is Kat saving money too with the at-home equipment? I know it's reaching but seeing that she's not having to contribute to the DSP fund then could there be a secondary reason for this cutback?