Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[ZMOT]

wasn't the fart wedding from someone else?

now that Phasma is dead (at least I think she's dead...).

he obtained from Vader's corpse

if what I heard is true that phasma is still the most sold figure, even with all the crappy scenes in the movies, you can bet she will magically re-appear - just like poe magically made it off not!tatooine.

he obtained from Vader's corpse

from his burned corpse? ffs disney

Anything to say about this set? Not really; R2 shows up, 3PO shows up, you get another Dio, and this is the only set to feature Space Janitor and Lando. No one cares about the former, but if you're a kid or soygoy and want the latter, expect to shell out a cool 160 USD for this set.

why would I want to buy black dracula and a crappy lego set when I can buy a FFG falcon for like half the price?

 

[Creep3r]

Ok, these spoilers are fun and all, but how does this movie end? I still have to see a convincing leak about the end. The one where they spread the word of Luke on wi-fi to all corners of the galaxy seems to be bullshit.

I'll tell you the ending then, but first here are the rest of the leaks. Combine this with the last two leaks I posted on the last few pages and you now have the whole movie minus three parts.

Considering what we know now, we can safely say that not-Tatooine takes place before the the snow planet's scenes as 3PO doesn't have his Rambo shit on him and therefore hasn't been changed by Crazy Frog yet.

1: This one isn't a complete leak but one I've pieced together based on previous leaks that match up with the valid one. We already know how the movie starts. It starts off on a forested planet where the not-Rebels are hiding out after suffering major losses. Rey is on a remote part of the planet training with Leia who turns out to have been trained by Luke. The FO's attack forces Rey and her gang and Leia to retreat on the Falcon. Leia sends them on a mission to find a Resistance informant that could help change the tide of battle somehow despite the Not-Rebels having dwindling resources and whatnot. She then hugs Rey and its goodbye. I personally assume the forest planet is the Galaxy's Edge park's planet, which is called Batuu.

2: This is also pieced together. The gang arrives at not-Tatooine to meet with their informant at Burning Man which serves as this film's "Cantina scene". They then find that their informant been murdered with a sith dagger, which he stupidly leaves behind. The assassin is believed to be a Knight of Ren, as the Knights appear on not-Tatooine. Apparently the FO knew they were coming and so proceed to raid the planet, leading up to the chase scene on sand skiffs, Rey and Kylo's first fight and Knights of Ren appearing for the first time. A giant sandworm monster also appears and attacks them (I'm not sure if this is before or after Burning Man, I assume its before since the FO is what scares them off sand planet 3). After a battle with it, its revealed that Rey has the power to heal... One other unrelated rumor claims she can revive things...

3: This is another pieced together collection of leaks since they accurately follow the same Zorry Bliss/Droid Factory/Sith Dagger shit as the legit leak from earlier. After Zorry Bliss becomes buddy-buddy with Poe and the gang and decides not to turn them in, it turns out there's a second bounty hunter character who was following Zorry who decides to follow through on the plan and sell everyone to the FO. Zorry will be serving as an anti-hero while this guy serves as a minor villain. He was supposedly seen in a private screening of the film I talked about months ago which also confirmed that Rose Tico was no longer a major player. The bounty hunter in question is described as being like the big green dude from Guardians of the Galaxy but with cyborg bits which has led to people calling him Cyborg Drax ("Look guys! We have Guardians in SW! You like those right?! Please come to our movie..."). Drax ends up calling the FO which results in many troopers showing up, most of which are remodeled snowtroopers which are already confirmed to exist via toys (they look like the snowtroopers from TLJ even though it was a salt planet...). During the attack on Kijimi, Zorry helps the heroes escape via Y-Wing which is also confirmed in lego sets. Also did I mention GotG x SW crossover?!! OMGZ!!!

"MAX HYPEAGE!!!"

4: This one is dubious but it has been referenced by different leakfags. It claims that C-3PX apparently does not become Rambo, he simply holds Chewbacca's stuff after Chewbacca's fake out death. Talk about cheap cop-out.

5: After arriving on Endor after Rey's vision because of the sith dagger, they are confronted by Finn's sister Jannah. We later find out Finn's sister's backstory... She is a former stormtrooper just like him who was in a different part of the FO. She escaped too and ended up on Endor. How convenient. She thinks Finn and the gang are part of the FO. Hence why she attacks them. We later find out that she and Finn were both kidnapped as kids but separated. She's been forced to live off the land, hence why she looks wild and primitive. We don't find out their siblings until much later, hence the whole love triangle shit going on with Finn, Rose, Rey and his sister. One unrelated rumor claims she was raised or trained by Ewoks but take that with a grain of salt.

6: Sis takes them to the Death Sea where the Death Star is. There Rey goes alone and find the Wayfinder thing. I already explained the rest of this leak in detail on the last page.

7: Rey "accidentally" uses Force Lightning in the film against Kylo but I'm not sure if its during their confrontation on sand planet or Endor. Also Rey and Kylo's battle on Endor is NOT the final battle of the film.

8: The past rumors about Kylo Ren going to Dagobah to meet the spider Oracle have yet to be confirmed in any of the new valid leaks, and all the ones that have been right so far thanks to Force Friday and SW Celebration haven't made any reference to the Oracle. Which makes me suspect that leak was fake. Only valid thing about is that Kylo ends up meeting Palpatine as he searches for his Wayfinder, but I don't know at what point this is. Could be before or after the sand planet. FYI the film alternates between Rey and Kylo's stories.

9: Finn and his sister (supposedly alongside Rose later on) are then sent on a suicide mission with some troops to destroy General Wyte Pryde's Star Destroyer and they kill him.

10: This is a blank point that has yet to be leaked. IE how they find Palpatine, how they meet Lando, how Leia supposedly dies and how Chewbacca's fake out death plays out. But its at this point where the Sith Troopers aka the 105th first appear and the Knights of Ren play their most important part.

11: They arrive Palpatine's storm planet which is named Exogol and is the true location of the final battle. Palpatine's private Storm Planet in the Unknown Regions which is a do not steal version of Byss, Palpatine's secret capital from the Dark Empire comics (which is still canon under Disney but they're not using it).

12: The final fucking battle. Big stupid ship battle using every ship from the franchise (OT, PT and nu-EU) over Palpatine's planet. They then shit themselves when they see the massive fleet of Super Star Destroyers. Meanwhile, Rey goes to confront the Emperor herself, with his new throne room being a recreation of shit from the Ralph McQuarrie artwork for ROTJ as in big fancy throne surrounded by lava and spikes.

Palpatine looks the same but he now wears Red-hued robes with a belt. Here is an artist's impression of the true final battle in IX based on what others describe and a rough sketch by someone who did see it... Rey wields two sabers. One belonging to Anakin and the other belonging to... Leia... ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

Its a repeat of ROTJ's final climax... BUT BETTER OMGZ! Palpatine defeats Kylo Ren and absorbs his power to rejuvenate himself, then transforming into what he looked like in ROTS. He then throws Kylo Ren down into the "Abyss" to mirror his father's death, leaving Rey to fight him alone as she's completely torn up and weakened over Ren's death.

13: The entire stupid fucking battle which is from fucking LEGEND OF KORRA! E;R knew the truth all along! Rey unleashes MAX-SUENESS and becomes empowered by the spirit of every jedi ever including Kylo Ren to defeat Palpatine. Rey then unleashes such a powerful Force lightning burst akin to Yoda's in TLJ which completely disables the Super Star Destroyers, locking them in place and making them unable to attack, allowing the not-Rebels to destroy them. Finn, his sis, plus Lando in the Falcon and a whole fleet of reinforcements from out of nowhere arrive and destroy the the FO and Sheev's forces. Palpatine and Rey then have their final battle. Palpy unleashes a full electric KAMEHAMEHA which Rey deflects back at him, destroying him once and for all while I puke.

14: The only seemingly valid leak so far regarding the ending (and the most recurring one) is that it finishes on Tatooine with Rey and presumably her "friends" looking out into the twin sun horizon to mimic Luke after burying items belonging to Luke, Han and Leia near the Lars homestead. Rey is then seen by a local who asks that "its been a long time... since I've seen anyone here... Who are you?" She answers: "Rey... Rey Skywalker."

I have a very VERY bad feeling about this...

EXOGOL IS THE KEY WORD HERE! If that name pops up, this is 100% the plot of the film. Screencap this shit.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

He starts talking about her parents again and says that he was telling the truth when he said they were nobodies who sold her for drinking money (yet never explains how he knows this), but reveals that they did sell her but it was for her safety... somehow... and they used the money on drinks to drown their sorrows... because... reasons... JJ... please stop.

This almost gave me an aneurysm.
It's such a lazy retcon, so of course I hope it'll be in the movie.

Apparently no one could be bothered to deal with a a militant nu empire faction that just obliterated a star system in TLJ but one year later in TROS everyone comes running to engage in an epic battle? Can't wait to see the ass pull comics and novels the story group whips up to explain that.

Well, see, it would not have been smart to join the Resistance when the FO was in wild disarray after not only losing their secret weapon, but also their leader and their flagship along like 75% of their fleet.

Now, joining years later, after the FO has restocked on soldiers, warships, has repaired their hierarchy and all that, that's when the right moment to strike has come. The FO will never see it coming!

wasn't the fart wedding from someone else?

The character was Wendig's but the author of that particular scene wasn't, that's true.

 

[PeeveTheSheev]

I'll tell you the ending then, but first here are the rest of the leaks. Combine this with the last two leaks I posted on the last few pages and you now have the whole movie minus three parts.

Considering what we know now, we can safely say that not-Tatooine takes place before the the snow planet's scenes as 3PO doesn't have his Rambo shit on him and therefore hasn't been changed by Crazy Frog yet.

1: This one isn't a complete leak but one I've pieced together based on previous leaks that match up with the valid one. We already know how the movie starts. It starts off on a forested planet where the not-Rebels are hiding out after suffering major losses. Rey is on a remote part of the planet training with Leia who turns out to have been trained by Luke. The FO's attack forces Rey and her gang and Leia to retreat on the Falcon. Leia sends them on a mission to find a Resistance informant that could help change the tide of battle somehow despite the Not-Rebels having dwindling resources and whatnot. She then hugs Rey and its goodbye. I personally assume the forest planet is the Galaxy's Edge park's planet, which is called Batuu.

2: This is also pieced together. The gang arrives at not-Tatooine to meet with their informant at Burning Man which serves as this film's "Cantina scene". They then find that their informant been murdered with a sith dagger, which he stupidly leaves behind. The assassin is believed to be a Knight of Ren, as the Knights appear on not-Tatooine. Apparently the FO knew they were coming and so proceed to raid the planet, leading up to the chase scene on sand skiffs, Rey and Kylo's first fight and Knights of Ren appearing for the first time. A giant sandworm monster also appears and attacks them (I'm not sure if this is before or after Burning Man, I assume its before since the FO is what scares them off sand planet 3). After a battle with it, its revealed that Rey has the power to heal... One other unrelated rumor claims she can revive things...
View attachment 953026
3: This is another pieced together collection of leaks since they accurately follow the same Zorry Bliss/Droid Factory/Sith Dagger shit as the legit leak from earlier. After Zorry Bliss becomes buddy-buddy with Poe and the gang and decides not to turn them in, it turns out there's a second bounty hunter character who was following Zorry who decides to follow through on the plan and sell everyone to the FO. Zorry will be serving as an anti-hero while this guy serves as a minor villain. He was supposedly seen in a private screening of the film I talked about months ago which also confirmed that Rose Tico was no longer a major player. The bounty hunter in question is described as being like the big green dude from Guardians of the Galaxy but with cyborg bits which has led to people calling him Cyborg Drax ("Look guys! We have Guardians in SW! You like those right?! Please come to our movie..."). Drax ends up calling the FO which results in many troopers showing up, most of which are remodeled snowtroopers which are already confirmed to exist via toys (they look like the snowtroopers from TLJ even though it was a salt planet...). During the attack on Kijimi, Zorry helps the heroes escape via Y-Wing which is also confirmed in lego sets. Also did I mention GotG x SW crossover?!! OMGZ!!!
View attachment 953055
"MAX HYPEAGE!!!"

4: This one is dubious but it has been referenced by different leakfags. It claims that C-3PX apparently does not become Rambo, he simply holds Chewbacca's stuff after Chewbacca's fake out death. Talk about cheap cop-out.

5: After arriving on Endor after Rey's vision because of the sith dagger, they are confronted by Finn's sister Jannah. We later find out Finn's sister's backstory... She is a former stormtrooper just like him who was in a different part of the FO. She escaped too and ended up on Endor. How convenient. She thinks Finn and the gang are part of the FO. Hence why she attacks them. We later find out that she and Finn were both kidnapped as kids but separated. She's been forced to live off the land, hence why she looks wild and primitive. We don't find out their siblings until much later, hence the whole love triangle shit going on with Finn, Rose, Rey and his sister. One unrelated rumor claims she was raised or trained by Ewoks but take that with a grain of salt.
View attachment 953061

6: Sis takes them to the Death Sea where the Death Star is. There Rey goes alone and find the Wayfinder thing. I already explained the rest of this leak in detail on the last page.

7: Rey "accidentally" uses Force Lightning in the film against Kylo but I'm not sure if its during their confrontation on sand planet or Endor. Also Rey and Kylo's battle on Endor is NOT the final battle of the film.
View attachment 953113
8: The past rumors about Kylo Ren going to Dagobah to meet the spider Oracle have yet to be confirmed in any of the new valid leaks, and all the ones that have been right so far thanks to Force Friday and SW Celebration haven't made any reference to the Oracle. Which makes me suspect that leak was fake. Only valid thing about is that Kylo ends up meeting Palpatine as he searches for his Wayfinder, but I don't know at what point this is. Could be before or after the sand planet. FYI the film alternates between Rey and Kylo's stories.

9: Finn and his sister (supposedly alongside Rose later on) are then sent on a suicide mission with some troops to destroy General Wyte Pryde's Star Destroyer and they kill him.

10: This is a blank point that has yet to be leaked. IE how they find Palpatine. But its at this point where the Sith Troopers aka the 105th first appear and the Knights of Ren play their most important part.

11: They arrive Palpatine's storm planet which is named Exogol and is the true location of the final battle. Palpatine's private Storm Planet in the Unknown Regions which is a do not steal version of Byss, Palpatine's secret capital from the Dark Empire comics (which is still canon under Disney but they're not using it).

12: The final fucking battle. Big stupid ship battle using every ship from the franchise (OT, PT and nu-EU) over Palpatine's planet. They then shit themselves when they see the massive fleet of Super Star Destroyers. Meanwhile, Rey goes to confront the Emperor herself, with his new throne room being a recreation of shit from the Ralph McQuarrie artwork for ROTJ as in big fancy throne surrounded by lava and spikes.
View attachment 953082
Palpatine looks the same but he now wears Red-hued robes with a belt. Here is an artist's impression of the true final battle in IX based on what others describe and a rough sketch by someone who did see it... Rey wields two sabers. One belonging to Anakin and the other belonging to... Leia... ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
View attachment 953087View attachment 953103
Its a repeat of ROTJ's final climax... BUT BETTER OMGZ! Palpatine defeats Kylo Ren and absorbs his power to rejuvenate himself, then transforming into what he looked like in ROTS. He then throws Kylo Ren down into the "Abyss" to mirror his father's death, leaving Rey to fight him alone as she's completely torn up and weakened over Ren's death.
View attachment 953111
13: The entire stupid fucking battle which is from fucking LEGEND OF KORRA! E;R knew the truth all along! Rey unleashes MAX-SUENESS and becomes empowered by the spirit of every jedi ever including Kylo Ren to defeat Palpatine. Rey then unleashes such a powerful Force lightning burst akin to Yoda's in TLJ which completely disables the Super Star Destroyers, locking them in place and making them unable to attack, allowing the not-Rebels to destroy them. Finn, his sis, plus Lando in the Falcon and a whole fleet of reinforcements from out of nowhere arrive and destroy the the FO and Sheev's forces. Palpatine and Rey then have their final battle. Palpy unleashes a full electric KAMEHAMEHA which Rey deflects back at him, destroying him once and for all while I puke.
View attachment 953112
14: The only seemingly valid leak so far regarding the ending (and the most recurring one) is that it finishes on Tatooine with Rey and presumably her "friends" looking out into the twin sun horizon to mimic Luke after burying items belonging to Luke, Han and Leia near the Lars homestead. Rey is then seen by a local who asks that "its been a long time... since I've seen anyone here... Who are you?" She answers: "Rey... Rey Skywalker."
View attachment 953036
I have a very VERY bad feeling about this...

EXOGOL IS THE KEY WORD HERE! If that name pops up, this is 100% the plot of the film. Screencap this shit.

What the fuck.

 

[Judge Holden]

I'll tell you the ending then, but first here are the rest of the leaks. Combine this with the last two leaks I posted on the last few pages and you now have the whole movie minus three parts.

Considering what we know now, we can safely say that not-Tatooine takes place before the the snow planet's scenes as 3PO doesn't have his Rambo shit on him and therefore hasn't been changed by Crazy Frog yet.

1: This one isn't a complete leak but one I've pieced together based on previous leaks that match up with the valid one. We already know how the movie starts. It starts off on a forested planet where the not-Rebels are hiding out after suffering major losses. Rey is on a remote part of the planet training with Leia who turns out to have been trained by Luke. The FO's attack forces Rey and her gang and Leia to retreat on the Falcon. Leia sends them on a mission to find a Resistance informant that could help change the tide of battle somehow despite the Not-Rebels having dwindling resources and whatnot. She then hugs Rey and its goodbye. I personally assume the forest planet is the Galaxy's Edge park's planet, which is called Batuu.

2: This is also pieced together. The gang arrives at not-Tatooine to meet with their informant at Burning Man which serves as this film's "Cantina scene". They then find that their informant been murdered with a sith dagger, which he stupidly leaves behind. The assassin is believed to be a Knight of Ren, as the Knights appear on not-Tatooine. Apparently the FO knew they were coming and so proceed to raid the planet, leading up to the chase scene on sand skiffs, Rey and Kylo's first fight and Knights of Ren appearing for the first time. A giant sandworm monster also appears and attacks them (I'm not sure if this is before or after Burning Man, I assume its before since the FO is what scares them off sand planet 3). After a battle with it, its revealed that Rey has the power to heal... One other unrelated rumor claims she can revive things...
View attachment 953026
3: This is another pieced together collection of leaks since they accurately follow the same Zorry Bliss/Droid Factory/Sith Dagger shit as the legit leak from earlier. After Zorry Bliss becomes buddy-buddy with Poe and the gang and decides not to turn them in, it turns out there's a second bounty hunter character who was following Zorry who decides to follow through on the plan and sell everyone to the FO. Zorry will be serving as an anti-hero while this guy serves as a minor villain. He was supposedly seen in a private screening of the film I talked about months ago which also confirmed that Rose Tico was no longer a major player. The bounty hunter in question is described as being like the big green dude from Guardians of the Galaxy but with cyborg bits which has led to people calling him Cyborg Drax ("Look guys! We have Guardians in SW! You like those right?! Please come to our movie..."). Drax ends up calling the FO which results in many troopers showing up, most of which are remodeled snowtroopers which are already confirmed to exist via toys (they look like the snowtroopers from TLJ even though it was a salt planet...). During the attack on Kijimi, Zorry helps the heroes escape via Y-Wing which is also confirmed in lego sets. Also did I mention GotG x SW crossover?!! OMGZ!!!
View attachment 953055
"MAX HYPEAGE!!!"

4: This one is dubious but it has been referenced by different leakfags. It claims that C-3PX apparently does not become Rambo, he simply holds Chewbacca's stuff after Chewbacca's fake out death. Talk about cheap cop-out.

5: After arriving on Endor after Rey's vision because of the sith dagger, they are confronted by Finn's sister Jannah. We later find out Finn's sister's backstory... She is a former stormtrooper just like him who was in a different part of the FO. She escaped too and ended up on Endor. How convenient. She thinks Finn and the gang are part of the FO. Hence why she attacks them. We later find out that she and Finn were both kidnapped as kids but separated. She's been forced to live off the land, hence why she looks wild and primitive. We don't find out their siblings until much later, hence the whole love triangle shit going on with Finn, Rose, Rey and his sister. One unrelated rumor claims she was raised or trained by Ewoks but take that with a grain of salt.
View attachment 953061

6: Sis takes them to the Death Sea where the Death Star is. There Rey goes alone and find the Wayfinder thing. I already explained the rest of this leak in detail on the last page.

7: Rey "accidentally" uses Force Lightning in the film against Kylo but I'm not sure if its during their confrontation on sand planet or Endor. Also Rey and Kylo's battle on Endor is NOT the final battle of the film.
View attachment 953113
8: The past rumors about Kylo Ren going to Dagobah to meet the spider Oracle have yet to be confirmed in any of the new valid leaks, and all the ones that have been right so far thanks to Force Friday and SW Celebration haven't made any reference to the Oracle. Which makes me suspect that leak was fake. Only valid thing about is that Kylo ends up meeting Palpatine as he searches for his Wayfinder, but I don't know at what point this is. Could be before or after the sand planet. FYI the film alternates between Rey and Kylo's stories.

9: Finn and his sister (supposedly alongside Rose later on) are then sent on a suicide mission with some troops to destroy General Wyte Pryde's Star Destroyer and they kill him.

10: This is a blank point that has yet to be leaked. IE how they find Palpatine. But its at this point where the Sith Troopers aka the 105th first appear and the Knights of Ren play their most important part.

11: They arrive Palpatine's storm planet which is named Exogol and is the true location of the final battle. Palpatine's private Storm Planet in the Unknown Regions which is a do not steal version of Byss, Palpatine's secret capital from the Dark Empire comics (which is still canon under Disney but they're not using it).

12: The final fucking battle. Big stupid ship battle using every ship from the franchise (OT, PT and nu-EU) over Palpatine's planet. They then shit themselves when they see the massive fleet of Super Star Destroyers. Meanwhile, Rey goes to confront the Emperor herself, with his new throne room being a recreation of shit from the Ralph McQuarrie artwork for ROTJ as in big fancy throne surrounded by lava and spikes.
View attachment 953082
Palpatine looks the same but he now wears Red-hued robes with a belt. Here is an artist's impression of the true final battle in IX based on what others describe and a rough sketch by someone who did see it... Rey wields two sabers. One belonging to Anakin and the other belonging to... Leia... ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
View attachment 953087View attachment 953103
Its a repeat of ROTJ's final climax... BUT BETTER OMGZ! Palpatine defeats Kylo Ren and absorbs his power to rejuvenate himself, then transforming into what he looked like in ROTS. He then throws Kylo Ren down into the "Abyss" to mirror his father's death, leaving Rey to fight him alone as she's completely torn up and weakened over Ren's death.
View attachment 953111
13: The entire stupid fucking battle which is from fucking LEGEND OF KORRA! E;R knew the truth all along! Rey unleashes MAX-SUENESS and becomes empowered by the spirit of every jedi ever including Kylo Ren to defeat Palpatine. Rey then unleashes such a powerful Force lightning burst akin to Yoda's in TLJ which completely disables the Super Star Destroyers, locking them in place and making them unable to attack, allowing the not-Rebels to destroy them. Finn, his sis, plus Lando in the Falcon and a whole fleet of reinforcements from out of nowhere arrive and destroy the the FO and Sheev's forces. Palpatine and Rey then have their final battle. Palpy unleashes a full electric KAMEHAMEHA which Rey deflects back at him, destroying him once and for all while I puke.
View attachment 953112
14: The only seemingly valid leak so far regarding the ending (and the most recurring one) is that it finishes on Tatooine with Rey and presumably her "friends" looking out into the twin sun horizon to mimic Luke after burying items belonging to Luke, Han and Leia near the Lars homestead. Rey is then seen by a local who asks that "its been a long time... since I've seen anyone here... Who are you?" She answers: "Rey... Rey Skywalker."
View attachment 953036
I have a very VERY bad feeling about this...

EXOGOL IS THE KEY WORD HERE! If that name pops up, this is 100% the plot of the film. Screencap this shit.

So basically Exogol is going to be like the word "Bells" in the runup to the penultimate Game of Thrones episode.

The moment people involved in production start dropping that word a wave of raw horror is going to sweep the internet as everyone realises that *those* leaks were actually for real, and that they are about to witness the worst case scenario play out before them...

 

[Antipathy]

REALLY LONG AND DEPRESSING SERIES OF BLACKPILLS ON EPIX THAT PHYSICALLY HURT TO READ

EXOGOL IS THE KEY WORD HERE! If that name pops up, this is 100% the plot of the film. Screencap this shit.

What the fuck.

Here is that entire thing in screencap form. Spread it as you see fit.
Remember that the plan is to KILL any hype that could possibly exist, so if there's hype, drop this here and bail.

 

[Judge Holden]

Here is that entire thing in screencap form. Spread it as you see fit.
Remember that the plan is to KILL any hype that could possibly exist, so if there's hype, drop this here and bail.

The Korra comparison is what makes me really fucking worried.

Its the exact kind of thing an utter hack writer would pull out his ass to appease his boss's obsession with the shitty mary sue protagonist while making it "spectacular" enough to hopefully bury any criticism

 

[Antipathy]

The Korra comparison is what makes me really fucking worried.

Its the exact kind of thing an utter hack writer would pull out his ass to appease his boss's obsession with the shitty mary sue protagonist while making it "spectacular" enough to hopefully bury any criticism

The problem is Rey is such a super Sue that I have almost no doubt in my mind that this will happen. Any curiosity I had over this film had died.

 

[XYZpdq]

why would I want to buy black dracula and a crappy lego set when I can buy a FFG falcon for like half the price?

Lego Blacula would be pretty cool.

 

[Creep3r]

So basically Exogol is going to be like the word "Bells" in the runup to the penultimate Game of Thrones episode.

The moment people involved in production start dropping that word a wave of raw horror is going to sweep the internet as everyone realises that *those* leaks were actually for real, and that they are about to witness the worst case scenario play out before them...

 

[Antipathy]

If these leaks are accurate, which I think they are (since only Jar Jar Abrams can make something so terminally uncreative), this fucking turns absolutely everything in the OT to shit retroactively one last time. A final shit on Luke, and a big squirt of piss on Lucas as the accomplishments of Luke, Anakin, the Rebellion, Han, Lando, etc. are absolutely without doubt are just "LOL THEY NEVER DID SHIT" and it's REY THE OMNIPOTENT who has to do the entire Rebellion all over again, except better because The Force Is Female.


Fuck this. Fuck this forever. Where there was once sorrow, only contempt remains.

 

[Ghostse]

Fuck me just end it now. Remember only to spoilerbomb things just before the film, and only do it if someone mentions the movie. If they say they want to watch it, spit out all of these lines and say something like "don't watch it in theaters, wait for it to come out at home so you can pause it and eat your own food" if they're adamant.

Also, most modern DVD players will also do a pitch-corrected 1.5x speed, meaning you can suffer through the trainwreck that destroys something you enjoy for only an hour and 20 minutes instead of two hours.

 

[Miller]

The Korra comparison is what makes me really fucking worried.

She was Korra 2.0 since the beginning of TFA, that's what is really scary.

 

[Muttnik]

Remember where you were, what age you were, when you first saw the words Once Upon a Time in a Galaxy Far, Far Away...

I bet you never imagined for a moment that one day in the future when those words would bring you nothing but cringing misery and baffled rage instead of excitement or chills.

 

[The Nothingness]

What's with the trend of science fiction IPs getting utterly dismembered and having their corpses sodomized?

Star Wars: OT and PT are shat on.
Star Trek: TOS (and probably TNG) are destroyed thanks to Discovery bullshit.
Alien: The "perfect organism" is now just a science project from an android with a god complex.
Predator: Thanks to the latest movie in the franchise, it turns out the intergalactic big-game hunters are really harvesting human DNA (and weaponize autism) to invade Earth because climate change will make the planet hospitable for the species while humanity dies.

Any other sci-fi IPs that I missed?

 

[A Useless Fish]

I'll tell you the ending then, but first here are the rest of the leaks. Combine this with the last two leaks I posted on the last few pages and you now have the whole movie minus three parts.

Considering what we know now, we can safely say that not-Tatooine takes place before the the snow planet's scenes as 3PO doesn't have his Rambo shit on him and therefore hasn't been changed by Crazy Frog yet.

1: This one isn't a complete leak but one I've pieced together based on previous leaks that match up with the valid one. We already know how the movie starts. It starts off on a forested planet where the not-Rebels are hiding out after suffering major losses. Rey is on a remote part of the planet training with Leia who turns out to have been trained by Luke. The FO's attack forces Rey and her gang and Leia to retreat on the Falcon. Leia sends them on a mission to find a Resistance informant that could help change the tide of battle somehow despite the Not-Rebels having dwindling resources and whatnot. She then hugs Rey and its goodbye. I personally assume the forest planet is the Galaxy's Edge park's planet, which is called Batuu.

2: This is also pieced together. The gang arrives at not-Tatooine to meet with their informant at Burning Man which serves as this film's "Cantina scene". They then find that their informant been murdered with a sith dagger, which he stupidly leaves behind. The assassin is believed to be a Knight of Ren, as the Knights appear on not-Tatooine. Apparently the FO knew they were coming and so proceed to raid the planet, leading up to the chase scene on sand skiffs, Rey and Kylo's first fight and Knights of Ren appearing for the first time. A giant sandworm monster also appears and attacks them (I'm not sure if this is before or after Burning Man, I assume its before since the FO is what scares them off sand planet 3). After a battle with it, its revealed that Rey has the power to heal... One other unrelated rumor claims she can revive things...
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3: This is another pieced together collection of leaks since they accurately follow the same Zorry Bliss/Droid Factory/Sith Dagger shit as the legit leak from earlier. After Zorry Bliss becomes buddy-buddy with Poe and the gang and decides not to turn them in, it turns out there's a second bounty hunter character who was following Zorry who decides to follow through on the plan and sell everyone to the FO. Zorry will be serving as an anti-hero while this guy serves as a minor villain. He was supposedly seen in a private screening of the film I talked about months ago which also confirmed that Rose Tico was no longer a major player. The bounty hunter in question is described as being like the big green dude from Guardians of the Galaxy but with cyborg bits which has led to people calling him Cyborg Drax ("Look guys! We have Guardians in SW! You like those right?! Please come to our movie..."). Drax ends up calling the FO which results in many troopers showing up, most of which are remodeled snowtroopers which are already confirmed to exist via toys (they look like the snowtroopers from TLJ even though it was a salt planet...). During the attack on Kijimi, Zorry helps the heroes escape via Y-Wing which is also confirmed in lego sets. Also did I mention GotG x SW crossover?!! OMGZ!!!
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"MAX HYPEAGE!!!"

4: This one is dubious but it has been referenced by different leakfags. It claims that C-3PX apparently does not become Rambo, he simply holds Chewbacca's stuff after Chewbacca's fake out death. Talk about cheap cop-out.

5: After arriving on Endor after Rey's vision because of the sith dagger, they are confronted by Finn's sister Jannah. We later find out Finn's sister's backstory... She is a former stormtrooper just like him who was in a different part of the FO. She escaped too and ended up on Endor. How convenient. She thinks Finn and the gang are part of the FO. Hence why she attacks them. We later find out that she and Finn were both kidnapped as kids but separated. She's been forced to live off the land, hence why she looks wild and primitive. We don't find out their siblings until much later, hence the whole love triangle shit going on with Finn, Rose, Rey and his sister. One unrelated rumor claims she was raised or trained by Ewoks but take that with a grain of salt.
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6: Sis takes them to the Death Sea where the Death Star is. There Rey goes alone and find the Wayfinder thing. I already explained the rest of this leak in detail on the last page.

7: Rey "accidentally" uses Force Lightning in the film against Kylo but I'm not sure if its during their confrontation on sand planet or Endor. Also Rey and Kylo's battle on Endor is NOT the final battle of the film.
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8: The past rumors about Kylo Ren going to Dagobah to meet the spider Oracle have yet to be confirmed in any of the new valid leaks, and all the ones that have been right so far thanks to Force Friday and SW Celebration haven't made any reference to the Oracle. Which makes me suspect that leak was fake. Only valid thing about is that Kylo ends up meeting Palpatine as he searches for his Wayfinder, but I don't know at what point this is. Could be before or after the sand planet. FYI the film alternates between Rey and Kylo's stories.

9: Finn and his sister (supposedly alongside Rose later on) are then sent on a suicide mission with some troops to destroy General Wyte Pryde's Star Destroyer and they kill him.

10: This is a blank point that has yet to be leaked. IE how they find Palpatine, how they meet Lando, how Leia supposedly dies and how Chewbacca's fake out death plays out. But its at this point where the Sith Troopers aka the 105th first appear and the Knights of Ren play their most important part.

11: They arrive Palpatine's storm planet which is named Exogol and is the true location of the final battle. Palpatine's private Storm Planet in the Unknown Regions which is a do not steal version of Byss, Palpatine's secret capital from the Dark Empire comics (which is still canon under Disney but they're not using it).

12: The final fucking battle. Big stupid ship battle using every ship from the franchise (OT, PT and nu-EU) over Palpatine's planet. They then shit themselves when they see the massive fleet of Super Star Destroyers. Meanwhile, Rey goes to confront the Emperor herself, with his new throne room being a recreation of shit from the Ralph McQuarrie artwork for ROTJ as in big fancy throne surrounded by lava and spikes.
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Palpatine looks the same but he now wears Red-hued robes with a belt. Here is an artist's impression of the true final battle in IX based on what others describe and a rough sketch by someone who did see it... Rey wields two sabers. One belonging to Anakin and the other belonging to... Leia... ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
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Its a repeat of ROTJ's final climax... BUT BETTER OMGZ! Palpatine defeats Kylo Ren and absorbs his power to rejuvenate himself, then transforming into what he looked like in ROTS. He then throws Kylo Ren down into the "Abyss" to mirror his father's death, leaving Rey to fight him alone as she's completely torn up and weakened over Ren's death.
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13: The entire stupid fucking battle which is from fucking LEGEND OF KORRA! E;R knew the truth all along! Rey unleashes MAX-SUENESS and becomes empowered by the spirit of every jedi ever including Kylo Ren to defeat Palpatine. Rey then unleashes such a powerful Force lightning burst akin to Yoda's in TLJ which completely disables the Super Star Destroyers, locking them in place and making them unable to attack, allowing the not-Rebels to destroy them. Finn, his sis, plus Lando in the Falcon and a whole fleet of reinforcements from out of nowhere arrive and destroy the the FO and Sheev's forces. Palpatine and Rey then have their final battle. Palpy unleashes a full electric KAMEHAMEHA which Rey deflects back at him, destroying him once and for all while I puke.
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14: The only seemingly valid leak so far regarding the ending (and the most recurring one) is that it finishes on Tatooine with Rey and presumably her "friends" looking out into the twin sun horizon to mimic Luke after burying items belonging to Luke, Han and Leia near the Lars homestead. Rey is then seen by a local who asks that "its been a long time... since I've seen anyone here... Who are you?" She answers: "Rey... Rey Skywalker."
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I have a very VERY bad feeling about this...

EXOGOL IS THE KEY WORD HERE! If that name pops up, this is 100% the plot of the film. Screencap this shit.

This is...madness.

I mean, holy Jesus God, this is some of the most batshit, uncreative garbage I have ever read, and...the fact that I can take this all seriously, at face value, is incredibly disturbing to me.

What the fuck is going? What's happened to one of the few franchises I ever gave a shit about? I just don't know anymore!!!

 

[Antipathy]

This is...madness.

I mean, holy Jesus God, this is some of the most batshit, uncreative garbage I have ever read, and...the fact that I can take this all seriously, at face value, is incredibly disturbing to me.

What the fuck is going? What's happened to one of the few franchises I ever gave a shit about? I just don't know anymore!!!

Embrace the death of Star Wars and bask in the futility of being.

It's over. Go home. Find something else to do.

 

[Miller]

Star Trek: TOS (and probably TNG) are destroyed thanks to Discovery bullshit.

The entire franchise was destroyed by Kurtzman.

Any other sci-fi IPs that I missed?

Doctor Who
BSG (a reboot is in production for the NBC streaming service)

 

[Antipathy]

What's with the trend of science fiction IPs getting utterly dismembered and having their corpses sodomized?

Star Wars: OT and PT are shat on.
Star Trek: TOS (and probably TNG) are destroyed thanks to Discovery bullshit.
Alien: The "perfect organism" is now just a science project from an android with a god complex.
Predator: Thanks to the latest movie in the franchise, it turns out the intergalactic big-game hunters are really harvesting human DNA (and weaponize autism) to invade Earth because climate change will make the planet hospitable for the species while humanity dies.

Any other sci-fi IPs that I missed?

I mean, I dunno. /x/ culture is looking pretty infected.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

The big question is:
Will this movie be worse than TLJ?

TFA was shit since it invalidated all from the OT, but it was a somewhat coherent movie with a bit of potential for an interesting sequel. Also, at times it was ok in terms of entertainment. The plot was meh, but at least it copied ANH in such way that there was a few nice moments sprinkled here and there.
TLJ was an abomination without a plot, without anything interesting happening, that shat on everything from the OT. TFA invalidated it, but TLJ took the extra mile to take a dump on everything.

Looking at these leaks, it seems like Disney found a way to crossbreed TFA's invalidation of the OT with TLJs ridiculous plot-bullshit.

She is a former stormtrooper just like him who was in a different part of the FO. She escaped too and ended up on Endor. How convenient.

Of all the new Characters, Finn is the most sad - almost as sad as the old ones, being ruined by Disney.
Rey is a boring Mary Sue by design.
Poe is a quipping asshat by design.
But Finn, he could have been a compelling character with deep moral implications and so on. What they did instead was making him a really lame comic relief and now they take away the one thing that still made him special, to prop up a woman we've never seen before and won't care about.
Poor Boyega, he could have been great, but his character is a walking desaster.

Here is an artist's impression of the true final battle in IX based on what others describe and a rough sketch by someone who did see it... Rey wields two sabers.

I've said a couple of times that one of the best things about Luke's characters to me is that he discards his sword instead of striking down Vader or Palpatine in anger.
I find it highly poetic, that he defeats Palpatine, not by sheer force, but by helping his father redeem himself by killing Palpatine. It means his character has a flawless victory over the forces of evil. So, of course, I am looking foward to see how Rey will defeat the badguy in IX.
Just killing the BBEG is almost boring, just striking him dead lacks a certain mythical and moral something. Luke was a troubled character on the verge of falling to the dark side, which made his moral victory all the more important and resolved his plot in a masterful way. They'll need to come up with something pretty neat to even come close to the ending of the OT. . .

Palpy unleashes a full electric KAMEHAMEHA which Rey deflects back at him, destroying him once and for all while I puke.

... or you know... just fuck that old guy up for good, I guess.

Mark my words, they will sell this off as "Palpatine was destroyed by his own hatred" or something.

One belonging to Anakin and the other belonging to... Leia... ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

That's fucking amazing. I guess we'll have to wait for the Ruin Johnson trilogy to learn that Chewbacca is a trained Jedi as well.
And Porkins (who's now back from the dead). And the sarlacc pit that ate Boba Fett.

It's not even so much that this doesn't make sense, it's just that this is the kind of shit that's a little late to bring up in the third movie. There's no issue with Leia having a light sabre, but ffs, you can't just drop that out of nowhere... whatever happened to setting things up? Oh right, Ruin Johnson went ahead and cut every setup down...

Palpatine defeats Kylo Ren and absorbs his power to rejuvenate himself, then transforming into what he looked like in ROTS.

Just like Holdo's hyperdrive-ramming, this creates the question of: Why didn't he ever do that before?