Containment What will happen when Barb dies?

[Second Missing Primarch]

Everyone is talking about whether Cole or a white knight will take in Chris when Barb dies, while no one is thinking about his other half-brother, David Alan Chandler. Despite their estrangement, he feels like a Bob-lite personality wise and was able to maintain some contact with the Chandlers, though I don't know if they are still in contact after Bob's death.

I highly doubt they are. The last time Chris mentioned him was when he was on his Amiibo kick back in 2015; he made a video of the entire family fighting each other as Miis in Smash Bros and bitched at Cole, David, and Carol for not talking to them in the description:

#JosephColeSmithey, #DrDavidAlanChandler, and #CarolSuzanneChandler; This Message for you three. You all have obviously forgotten about your family that y'all should be caring about as well, aside from your own local married families. Alan and Carol, you two have never really appreciated our Father. There WAS Time for you two to share time with him before his passing, but NO, you all have been selfish and caught up in your own lives that HE gave to us. And Cole, OUR Mother is Still Alive; I REALLY want you to make amends and get close, once again, to her before Her time runs out. And as the one sibling that brings you three, Cole, Alan and Carol in connection together as Family; I want us all to reconnect as family. The distance Really bothers me and I have been feeling ill against y'all for not including me and our mother/stepmother to two of you.

 

[The American Hedgehog]

i am genuinely interested as to what chores he does round the house compared to barb. I mean, his mum is on death's door but I can still picture her doing the month's laundry and moving a few plates to the side whilst Chris deposits this weeks semen collection into the tupperware pot (now taken up the whole freezer and the bottom shelf of the fridge).

The Possie tweets showed that Barb does chores like washing the dogs while Chris just stands around looking for another kitten to abduct.

When Bob died, Chris had the option to hide. Now, I just don't think that's possible with the level of ego inflation and I HAVE AUTISM PLEASE LAUGH AT ME.

Yeah, he'll double down on his hope for the dimensional merge to solve everything while his Twitter orbiters enable it to trick him into dancing to their whims.

 

[AnOminous]

When Bob died, Chris had the option to hide. Now, I just don't think that's possible with the level of ego inflation and I HAVE AUTISM PLEASE LAUGH AT ME.

It's not like dudes are just going to show up right after the funeral and start tagging shit in the hoard and grabbing Chris by his arms and legs and chucking him outside. It will take months of legal proceedings first before they're dragging out a hedgehog defensive posture Chris and throwing him in the yard while recording his screams.

 

[Replicant Sasquatch]

It's not like dudes are just going to show up right after the funeral and start tagging shit in the hoard and grabbing Chris by his arms and legs and chucking him outside. It will take months of legal proceedings first before they're dragging out a hedgehog defensive posture Chris and throwing him in the yard while recording his screams.

Alternatively, the repo men will find themselves at the mercy of the deadliest Curse-ye-ha-me-ha ever, and to their horror they will find themselves unable to call anybody.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

It's not like dudes are just going to show up right after the funeral and start tagging shit in the hoard and grabbing Chris by his arms and legs and chucking him outside. It will take months of legal proceedings first before they're dragging out a hedgehog defensive posture Chris and throwing him in the yard while recording his screams.

I know that, but I still think people are going to fuck with him after Blarb's death, which includes going to his house or engaging his delusions even more online. The factors have changed immensely since Bob's death. Sure, Chris is is the same fat re-tard, who sits at home and does nothing, but before Bob's death he was more aware of his role as the Internet's favorite shit stain. Now, he's tricked himself into believing that he's a goddess who can bend time, space, and cocks. He has also deluded himself into thinking he has fans, when the reality is his "fans" are just weirdos who desperately want upvotes on Reddit, YouTube views, re-tard/ hobo ass, or 6,000 $ USD.
Also, after Bob's death, he could burry his sorrows between Barb's flap jack shaped breasts and watch Maury. After Barb's death, he won't have a real support system. Sure, the church may tolerate him for a while, but their coddling will be limited, which will lead Chris back into the arms of weens.

Alternatively, the repo men will find themselves at the mercy of the deadliest Curse-ye-ha-me-ha ever, and to their horror they will find themselves unable to call anybody.

No, Chris will seduce these repo men. After all, it worked on Sockness.

 

[Argh My Cigar]

It's not like dudes are just going to show up right after the funeral and start tagging shit in the hoard and grabbing Chris by his arms and legs and chucking him outside. It will take months of legal proceedings first before they're dragging out a hedgehog defensive posture Chris and throwing him in the yard while recording his screams.

I highly doubt Chris will be able/willing to hold a funeral. Most likely what will happen is the state will claim the body if Chris is deemed unfit to handle arrangements, and she'll be cremated. From there her remains will either be tossed in a public plot with the other unclaimed indigent ashes, or Chris will somehow manage to scrape together enough pay pig money for the cheapest urn available. He'll then leave it somewhere in the house where it will be buried under a wall of funko pops and Lego Bricks like Fortunato in The Cask of Amontillado, until the creditors come knocking and his ass gets the boot.

She will end up becoming part of the hoard she created.

 

[AnOminous]

I hope Sockness shows up for the funeral and rapes Chris on top of Barb's coffin.

 

[Cardboard Box Mountain]

I highly doubt Chris will be able/willing to hold a funeral. Most likely what will happen is the state will claim the body if Chris is deemed unfit to handle arrangements, and she'll be cremated. From there her remains will either be tossed in a public plot with the other unclaimed indigent ashes, or Chris will somehow manage to scrape together enough pay pig money for the cheapest urn available. He'll then leave it somewhere in the house where it will be buried under a wall of funko pops and Lego Bricks like Fortunato in The Cask of Amontillado, until the creditors come knocking and his ass gets the boot.

She will end up becoming part of the hoard she created.

Bob prepaid for the crypt drawer thingy. 500 bucks will get her cremated and ashes placed in a little metal box which Chris can then stuff into the drawer.

 

[Argh My Cigar]

Bob prepaid for the crypt drawer thingy. 500 bucks will get her cremated and ashes placed in a little metal box which Chris can then stuff into the drawer.

Did he prepay for the casket too? There are other costs to consider. Chris might be able to skimp on the embalming fee: a lifetime of preservatives from fast food and TV dinners will probably keep her corpse intact long enough to have a wake.

 

[Cardboard Box Mountain]

Did he prepay for the casket too? There are other costs to consider. Chris might be able to skimp on the embalming fee: a lifetime of preservatives from fast food and TV dinners will probably keep her corpse intact long enough to have a wake.

I don't know if the drawer is casket size or if cremation was planned from the start. Someone else might have this info. ?

 

[LoveYouLongTime]

I highly doubt Chris will be able/willing to hold a funeral. Most likely what will happen is the state will claim the body if Chris is deemed unfit to handle arrangements, and she'll be cremated. From there her remains will either be tossed in a public plot with the other unclaimed indigent ashes, or Chris will somehow manage to scrape together enough pay pig money for the cheapest urn available. He'll then leave it somewhere in the house where it will be buried under a wall of funko pops and Lego Bricks like Fortunato in The Cask of Amontillado, until the creditors come knocking and his ass gets the boot.

She will end up becoming part of the hoard she created.

I expect he'll end up calling Rocky and guilting her into handling all the funeral arrangements while he sits at home and does nothing. And knowing Rocky, she'll do it to get Jesus points.

 

[Mason Verger]

Barb knows better than anybody how much of a fuck-up Chris is. Do you really think she'd intrust him with her mortal remains with putting some sort of third party handling in place?

Now if she was nihilistic she just wouldn't give a shit, feed it to the backyard cats, but as one of the last members of the Boleyn bloodline, I'm sure she'd want to be interred for future generations to look on in reverence.

 

[Sperglord Dante]

Bob prepaid for the crypt drawer thingy. 500 bucks will get her cremated and ashes placed in a little metal box which Chris can then stuff into the drawer.

Chris will definitely desecrate Snorlax's ashes soon after receiving them, by mixing them with crayola fucking magic to make a grotesque effigy of Barb (probably with a massive cleavage).

I expect he'll end up calling Rocky and guilting her into handling all the funeral arrangements while he sits at home and does nothing. And knowing Rocky, she'll do it to get Jesus points.

I wouldn't even blame him for that. Funeral arrangements seem a tad too "adult" for Chris's intellect to handle.

 

[Mushroom Soup]

Chris will definitely desecrate Snorlax's ashes soon after receiving them, by mixing them with crayola fucking magic to make a grotesque effigy of Barb (probably with a massive cleavage).

Jesus fuck this is probably going to be exactly what happens. Make it into a magical pendant or some shit.

 

[TheShortWaveCerealKiller]

It will probably be really boring. Unless there's some Julaying of the funeral or dumb shit like that, Chris will just sink into silence for probably months much as he did when Bob died. If he's ever going to kill himself that would be the time. Nothing interesting will happen until he's forced to leave the hoard and then what will happen will just be fucking depressing.

That's way more depressing than I wish to admit.

 

[Mason Verger]

Jesus fuck this is probably going to be exactly what happens. Make it into a magical pendant or some shit.

Haha but that’s something “normal” people do with ashes all the time. It’s sounds crazy with Chris, but that’s exactly a thing they offer.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

I hope Sockness shows up for the funeral and rapes Chris on top of Barb's coffin.

That art instillation would resurrect Andy Warhol and give him AIDS (if he didn't have it already). What would make it perfect is the American version of the Sailor Moon theme song playing in the background while Mormons sat in the first pew, watched, and recorded X-tine's screams.

 

[The handsome tard]

"#JosephColeSmithey, #DrDavidAlanChandler, and #CarolSuzanneChandler; This Message for you three. You all have obviously forgotten about your family that y'all should be caring about as well, aside from your own local married families. Alan and Carol, you two have never really appreciated our Father. There WAS Time for you two to share time with him before his passing, but NO, you all have been selfish and caught up in your own lives that HE gave to us. And Cole, OUR Mother is Still Alive; I REALLY want you to make amends and get close, once again, to her before Her time runs out. And as the one sibling that brings you three, Cole, Alan and Carol in connection together as Family; I want us all to reconnect as family. The distance Really bothers me and I have been feeling ill against y'all for not including me and our mother/stepmother to two of you. "

Thats autism for "Please come so I can dump my adult responsibilities on you so I can return to my comfortable miserable existence."
And he sounds so condescending too...

I hope Sockness shows up for the funeral and rapes Chris on top of Barb's coffin.

Cant wait to see the musical version

I expect he'll end up calling Rocky and guilting her into handling all the funeral arrangements while he sits at home and does nothing. And knowing Rocky, she'll do it to get Jesus points.

Or she will remember that this is the same autismo that suggested to trolls that they make him rape her, then had the guts to say she isnt "working" in fixing his life (which in the end is all up to him) and Jesus also knew how to say no and chase degenerates with a fucking whip (that really happened, look it up, Jesus was a badass...you dont fucking with the J-man. He cant be killed).

Now if she was nihilistic she just wouldn't give a shit, feed it to the backyard cats, but as one of the last members of the Boleyn bloodline, I'm sure she'd want to be interred for future generations to look on in reverence.

Barb's attitude does come off as nihilistic (if she even knows what that means), she clear cares for nothing and no one (besides herself of course). Any sort of "christian values" she pretended to follow were dropped for a long while (tho Im sure she might still pretend on camera she is a good little christian grandma). I doubt she thinks she will go "anywhere" after she kicks the bucket (tho I think she is comfortable with that, anywhere Chris isnt at is good enough for her). She is still very egotistical and would want a pharaoh level funeral.

 

[Cardboard Box Mountain]

"#JosephColeSmithey, #DrDavidAlanChandler, and #CarolSuzanneChandler; This Message for you three. You all have obviously forgotten about your family that y'all should be caring about as well, aside from your own local married families. Alan and Carol, you two have never really appreciated our Father. There WAS Time for you two to share time with him before his passing, but NO, you all have been selfish and caught up in your own lives that HE gave to us. And Cole, OUR Mother is Still Alive; I REALLY want you to make amends and get close, once again, to her before Her time runs out. And as the one sibling that brings you three, Cole, Alan and Carol in connection together as Family; I want us all to reconnect as family. The distance Really bothers me and I have been feeling ill against y'all for not including me and our mother/stepmother to two of you. "

Thats autism for "Please come so I can dump my adult responsibilities on you so I can return to my comfortable miserable existence."
And he sounds so condescending too...



Cant wait to see the musical version



Or she will remember that this is the same autismo that suggested to trolls that they make him rape her, then had the guts to say she isnt "working" in fixing his life (which in the end is all up to him) and Jesus also knew how to say no and chase degenerates with a fucking whip (that really happened, look it up, Jesus was a badass...you dont fucking with the J-man. He cant be killed).



Barb's attitude does come off as nihilistic (if she even knows what that means), she clear cares for nothing and no one (besides herself of course). Any sort of "christian values" she pretended to follow were dropped for a long while (tho Im sure she might still pretend on camera she is a good little christian grandma). I doubt she thinks she will go "anywhere" after she kicks the bucket (tho I think she is comfortable with that, anywhere Chris isnt at is good enough for her). She is still very egotistical and would want a pharaoh level funeral.

Yes, I absolutely believe Jesus was fucking hardcore.

As to Barb.... whatever has been prepaid for is what she will get. Unless, of course, Chris is successful at internet whining and begging and guilting w33ns out of more money.

I'm imagining Blarb's corpse as prepared by Chris, covered in stupid ass crystals, grimy sonichu medallions, lego and islamically altered pony figures.

 

[The handsome tard]

Yes, I absolutely believe Jesus was fucking hardcore.

As to Barb.... whatever has been prepaid for is what she will get. Unless, of course, Chris is successful at internet whining and begging and guilting I HAVE AUTISM PLEASE LAUGH AT MEs out of more money.

I'm imagining Blarb's corpse as prepared by Chris, covered in stupid ass crystals, grimy sonichu medallions, lego and islamically altered pony figures.

Not sure if he would go that far, only probably creating a OC based on her and that she is now with Robert-Chu in his own version of hell heaven.