- Joined
- Dec 24, 2015
The real question is who will be the epic new troll who steals Barb's corpse?
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Seeing as every recent troll I've seen has the physique of your standard lifelong 'inside kid', I think she might be safe on that count.The real question is who will be the epic new troll who steals Barb's corpse?
I highly doubt Chris will be able/willing to hold a funeral. Most likely what will happen is the state will claim the body if Chris is deemed unfit to handle arrangements, and she'll be cremated. From there her remains will either be tossed in a public plot with the other unclaimed indigent ashes, or Chris will somehow manage to scrape together enough pay pig money for the cheapest urn available. He'll then leave it somewhere in the house where it will be buried under a wall of funko pops and Lego Bricks like Fortunato in The Cask of Amontillado, until the creditors come knocking and his ass gets the boot.
She will end up becoming part of the hoard she created.
As @Super Colon Blow said, Bob already made funerary arrangements for both himself and Barb a long time ago and based on what we know about Bob, he was probably responsible enough to have everything prepaid in advance. She's going to be interred in the same final resting place as he is.
Not sure if she's going to be cremated or buried in that mausoleum drawer but that's going to be where she's placed either way.
I think the real issue is going to be what happens to Chris after the funeral. Once Barb dies, he's not going to be staying at 14 Branchland Court even if he wanted to. Chris hates living in the Hoard and only stays there because of Barb. Even in her current weak state, Chris still fears her on a certain level. She's spent years controlling him and threatening to lock him out of his own house if he ever tried to leave. During the "quiet period" between Bob's death and the fire, Barb kept Chris on a very tight leash and wouldn't let him out of the house unless she wanted him to buy something for her.
Chris is only able to get out and go to brony conventions and LGBT clubs as often as he does now because Barb's health in in decline and she's not as able to control him as much. Once she's gone for good and Chris has gotten past the initial grieving phase, he's taking whatever he can fit into his car and leaving the Hoard ASAP.
The real question is where will he go after he leaves 14 Branchland Court? Given his compromised grasp on reality, we're not sure if he's going to be homeless, exploited by someone like Sockness or a new Idea Guy type of figure, or be able to get a cheapo trailer or ratty apartment struggling from tugboat to tugboat. The last option is going to be the closest thing this story's going to have to a happy ending.
A troll will murder Chris then kill himself
As @Super Colon Blow said, Bob already made funerary arrangements for both himself and Barb a long time ago and based on what we know about Bob, he was probably responsible enough to have everything prepaid in advance. She's going to be interred in the same final resting place as he is.
Not sure if she's going to be cremated or buried in that mausoleum drawer but that's going to be where she's placed either way.
I think the real issue is going to be what happens to Chris after the funeral. Once Barb dies, he's not going to be staying at 14 Branchland Court even if he wanted to. Chris hates living in the Hoard and only stays there because of Barb. Even in her current weak state, Chris still fears her on a certain level. She's spent years controlling him and threatening to lock him out of his own house if he ever tried to leave. During the "quiet period" between Bob's death and the fire, Barb kept Chris on a very tight leash and wouldn't let him out of the house unless she wanted him to buy something for her.
Chris is only able to get out and go to brony conventions and LGBT clubs as often as he does now because Barb's health in in decline and she's not as able to control him as much. Once she's gone for good and Chris has gotten past the initial grieving phase, he's taking whatever he can fit into his car and leaving the Hoard ASAP.
The real question is where will he go after he leaves 14 Branchland Court? Given his compromised grasp on reality, we're not sure if he's going to be homeless, exploited by someone like Sockness or a new Idea Guy type of figure, or be able to get a cheapo trailer or ratty apartment struggling from tugboat to tugboat. The last option is going to be the closest thing this story's going to have to a happy ending.
I’ve seen spergs who end up in subsidized apartments and are relatively content with their lives.
Chris has enough material possessions and sources of entertainment that should feasibly last him a lifetime. He has literally thousands of games. The only thing he’d have to give up is compulsive spending. If he’s forced to be pragmatic about his money, then it might compel him to find other ways to alleviate boredom. He’d probably need to focus more on creative pursuits. The problem is his goldfish tier attention span.
The process to attain housing usually involves an updated psychiatric evaluation. He might be forced to take medications in order to keep any future tugboats or risk non-compliance and lose everything. I’m actually hoping he gets tested for ADD, mainly because I’m really curious as to how he’d function on a stimulant, for better or for worse.
Chris is only able to get out and go to brony conventions and LGBT clubs as often as he does now because Barb's health in in decline and she's not as able to control him as much. Once she's gone for good and Chris has gotten past the initial grieving phase, he's taking whatever he can fit into his car and leaving the Hoard ASAP.
The only problem with Section 8 housing is that there is a massive backlog and waiting list for it in Virginia, especially in his part of the state. The time for him to apply to Section 8 housing would've been a few years ago.
However, in the event of something as severe as Barb dying, I wouldn't be surprised if someone running interference for him such as The Captain or even one of his acquaintances in the local LGBT community was able to point him in the right directions and help him get a cheap low end trailer or apartment somewhere.
Null washed his hands of Chris after the Idea Guys were finally out of the picture for good, but I wouldn't put it past him to get with Marvin and a few others in the know to throw Chris one last bone when Barb finally dies. It'd be kind of like when the fire happened in 2014 and the forum sent him a care package.
Again this could take years so if Chris wants to avoid a homeless stint, he needs to start now.
Chris will instead do two things:
1) shit himself and
2) nothing.
Chris should be put in a zoo. Not a gay, cucked modern zoo, but one of those old timey ones where the enclosures are just concrete cages with bars at the opening. Chris should be put in one of those cages so dirty Cockney children can throw peanuts at him.The only problem with Section 8 housing is that there is a massive backlog and waiting list for it in Virginia, especially in his part of the state. The time for him to apply to Section 8 housing would've been a few years ago.
However, in the event of something as severe as Barb dying, I wouldn't be surprised if someone running interference for him such as The Captain or even one of his acquaintances in the local LGBT community was able to point him in the right directions and help him get a cheap low end trailer or apartment somewhere.
Null washed his hands of Chris after the Idea Guys were finally out of the picture for good, but I wouldn't put it past him to get with Marvin and a few others in the know to throw Chris one last bone when Barb finally dies. It'd be kind of like when the fire happened in 2014 and the forum sent him a care package.
Except those prayers are to himself and the OCs (who he thinks are going to magically fix everything). Chris is too egotistical at this point to believe in a higher power (since that would admit that he is no goddess or a lesser one).Number 1 is definitely true, but not 2, at least according to him. Chris is doing something to prepare for his eventual need for independence— facilitating the merge. He’s put a tremendous amount of effort trying to convince himself and others that there is a basis for his delusions. I wouldn’t be surprised if he managed to conjure a Magichan tulpa at this point It’s the same logic behind forgiveness and blind faith. Why bother to change your ways if you can just pray away your sins?
Seeing as every recent troll I've seen has the physique of your standard lifelong 'inside kid', I think she might be safe on that count.
Now if she DOES get flame broiled and urned, all bets are off.