DSP's Hair Mega-Hyper-Ultra Thread - Patchy goatee talk included

[Box Tie]

What are you talking about? That’s just the 480p camera dood. But really though, I wonder what’s his reasoning for not just shaving it off?

Pride.

"Detractors" have been telling him his goatee is a patchy piece of shit and that he should shave it off for a long time now. In response Phil has offered excuses. It isn't patchy,he's just greying like mature adults are wont to do. Also his mother and Kat like it, so fuck off. That said the balding, nay, graying! is clearly getting worse so he might be forced to get rid of it at some point but it won't be his choice, he did nothing wrong. His wife Kat *thumbs at door* will have asked him to because she doesn't like it anymore. When called out on it, he'll say "People change their minds! The world isn't black and white! ack ack ack ack. You'll find out what life is like when you get married, kid!" He'd have a point if he hadn't been lying from the outset, kind of typical for Phil really.

Then there's his branding. The idealized lush haired individual with a full beard and mustache, that's DSP. I don't think he wants to back to looking like Private Pyle. Then again this is a guy who uses gift art made with the mspaint airbrush as his public facing avatar.

What is more important is that his face is shit. His entire body appears to be melting rapidly. His tits (and arms???) sag ever lower and so do his jowls, something that seems to have accelerated over the last year. His mustache only accentuates this droop, giving him resting grump-face. On the other hand his goatee serves to accentuate his chin, which breaks the whole thing up without which his entire face would just look like a pale molten cheese that merges with his neck at an Indeterminate point.

 

[SlushFiend]

i like that hairless circle patch going on right at the center of the chin. never seen that style before, takes quite a unique individual to create something so custom

It's phil signature move, touch mustache (sniff fingers) into a rubbing his goatee with a pinch for good luck.

 

[PieceofShet]

It's phil signature move, touch mustache (sniff fingers) into a rubbing his goatee with a pinch for good luck.
View attachment 944666

This is also his signature move.

 

[bearsintrees]

enhance

 

[FalsePositive]

Headphones are detractors.

Also his goutee is evaporating, revealing more pale necrotic flesh.

 

[Immortal Technique]

i like that hairless circle patch going on right at the center of the chin. never seen that style before, takes quite a unique individual to create something so custom

It's almost becoming art.

 

[Sparkletor]

Those are all white hairs!

Does Phil maybe have trichotillomania?

 

[Cataloons]

Phil's hair seems to have that black-on-black look that only comes from Just For Men.

 

[Wurstbrot]

Not that I really plan to do this, I'm just saying that with some geometry, a lot of photos and a snippet of math we could calculate the approximated time when his chin beard completely falls apart and only leaves a field of lonely single stubbles.
Without going in I estimate ... yesterday. His beard looks like the aftermath of the Storm of Normandy.

 

[Sparkletor]

How does a person even go bald in their beard? Old men with a bald head and a full beard has been a thing for centuries.

 

[DarkSoulsPhil]

To be fair with his hair...starting to lose it in the late 30s isnt the worst. It will probably look bad by mid-late 40s.

If he wasnt so overweight he could shave his head. I know guys in their 50s who do that, including uncles (it looks MUCH better and youthful). But he would just look like a giant thumb.

And yes, half the fun is how he reacts to people questioning his hairline. So grow some thicker skin, shave your head and lose some weight you fat mcfuckhead.

 

[SlushFiend]

Not that I really plan to do this, I'm just saying that with some geometry, a lot of photos and a snippet of math we could calculate the approximated time when his chin beard completely falls apart and only leaves a field of lonely single stubbles.
Without going in I estimate ... yesterday. His beard looks like the aftermath of the Storm of Normandy.

I was actually thinking about doing that just to see the precentage of hair that has fallen off since beginning to now, but I just been a little busy with work to do it yet.

 

[SlushFiend]

After some procrastinating, I did a little hair map of his hair during 2009 (in the Nov and Dec time period) like the autist I am .
I tried my best to keep everything up to scale because it was hard finding good angles of him in his old videos but it should be a fair represintaion.

Spoiler: 2009 Hair Map

Feast your eyes!!!

I'll do his current hair map later.

 

[Sparkletor]

Based on him getting a haircut every 2 months, I thought he would have gone long ago. Is Kat cutting his hair now? Why isn't he seeing his stylist?

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

Based on him getting a haircut every 2 months, I thought he would have gone long ago. Is Kat cutting his hair now? Why isn't he seeing his stylist?

He's married dude, he doesn't need anymore stylist in his life anymore. He wouldn't ever have another woman touch his hair again because he has the real deal now.

Though given that he seems to go to the same one all the time, wouldn't surprise me if he got attraction towards this particular one. Akin to a very nice bartender or waitress giving any attention that he would perceive as flirting, and not that they want a bigger tip.

 

[actually]

He also got up real close to his webcam to "debunk" the balding of his goatee....and promptly confirmed that while he does have white hairs, he also clearly has bald spots in his goatee too.

 

[James Smith]

Somewhat high resolution images, cropped but otherwise not edited or zoomed in on:

A very high resolution image, still only cropped and not otherwise edited or zoomed in

 

[thedingledongle]

Somewhat high resolution images, cropped but otherwise not edited or zoomed in on:
View attachment 958604 View attachment 958606 View attachment 958611
A very high resolution image, still only cropped and not otherwise edited or zoomed in
View attachment 958608

I wish I could move forward without this being in my subconsciousness now.

 

[gaarashatan]

Somewhat high resolution images, cropped but otherwise not edited or zoomed in on:
View attachment 958604 View attachment 958606 View attachment 958611
A very high resolution image, still only cropped and not otherwise edited or zoomed in
View attachment 958608

its like he can only grow a hitler stash and one of those soulpaths on the underlip

 

[Prince Lotor]

I'm just going to leave this here https://www.healthline.com/health/alopecia-barbae#what-is-alopecia-barbae
Underlined for emphasis

What is alopecia barbae?

Alopecia areata is a health condition that causes hair loss. It’s an autoimmune disease, which means your body’s immune system mistakenly attacks healthy cells. In this case it’s attacks your hair follicles.
Alopecia barbae is a specific form of alopecia areata that affects the beard. Usually, it comes on suddenly and you begin losing beard hair in small circular patches.


Causes

Alopecia barbae is an autoimmune condition where your hair follicles are attacked by your own body, causing patchy hair loss.
Commonly, hair loss occurs in small circular patches, often along the jawline, though you may lose all of your beard hair. The hair loss can be isolated to your beard, or it can occur in other places, such as your scalp or face.
While the exact causes are unknown, often psychological and physical stress are linked to alopecia. Genetics may also play a role: It’s more common in those related to someone with alopecia, asthma, or allergies.
Having relatives with an autoimmune condition puts you at a higher risk of developing alopecia barbae. These include type 1 diabetes, lupus, and psoriasis. Certain viruses, substances, or medications can also be triggers.
Symptoms

It’s not easy to predict how alopecia barbae will develop. Hair loss can come on suddenly, within a few days, or over a few weeks.
Bald patches occur in small circular patches about the size of a quarter. As more hair is lost, these circles will sometimes begin to overlap. Hair around the edges of these patches may also be white.
Your skin may feel itchy and painful before you lose your hair. Usually, the visible skin is smooth, though it can feel rough. Some people experience redness, irritation, and inflammation in the bald spots.
Exclamation mark hairs — hairs narrower at the bottom — sometimes grow in and around the bald patch.
. . .
Home remedies
. . .
Zinc and biotin supplements
Following a healthy diet that includes vitamins and minerals necessary for hair growth is important. Adding supplements to your diet can give you a boost of zinc and biotin, which can promote hair growth and prevent hair loss.
Cleveland Clinic experts recommend a daily mega-B vitamin that includes 30 milligrams of zinc, 3 milligrams of biotin, 200 milligrams of vitamin C, and < 1 milligram of folic acid.

Did Phil's aunt have type 1 diabetes, lupus, and/or psoriasis? She may also be to blame for his beard balding as well as his delusionally self-diagnosed totally real gout that still "bothers" him 1 to 2 times per week.