- Joined
- Nov 6, 2013
I will be awake at night with the knowledge that I can't rate this "Winner" more than once.
حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker
- Thread starter Null
- Start date
I will be awake at night with the knowledge that I can't rate this "Winner" more than once.
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2013
Connor is an inspiration to everyone! Be proud, Kiwis - even if Connor refuses to better himself, you don't, and that's great 
There was a scare today when Wrong Planet had to undergo emergency maintenance but don't worry! Part 22 is here. We're getting into Zatoichi territory here.
"Does anyone else prance about their rooms dressed as their characters because their characters are all real people inside of your head? Tch, yeah, I guessed not
"
(oh my god I JUST got his pun... haha god damn dude that's actually pretty funny)
Maybe Connor should just join a roleplaying forum. He doesn't have to worry about writing a book, he can get praise for his purple prose, and he can feel like he's accomplishing something. Kind of like posting daily updates about Connor's exploits
rates @Connor optimistic
He should have stopped at "I wish I could write"
lol wut
And everything finally comes together...
The titties beg to differ
Well that's just weird I have no idea why he'd think that.
Okay, fair warning. What follows is gross Connor stuff. What we also get to witness is another Connor constant. When he gets really worked up (angry, horny, happy, whatever), Connor becomes a posting machine. Seriously - he has six posts, in six seperate threads, within ten minutes, all talking about how hot he is for Belly Buttons. What purpose did this serve? After this gross spurt of activity, he wasn't active until 3AM - 11 hours later!
Did he spend that entire time working his tiny dick into a bloody slurry? Did he pass out from the exertion of taking his pants of? Did he tard out because of buffering on Youtube and get grounded? Was he jerking off at the things he wrote and finished on thread number six?
What the fuck is going on here seriously why would he do this? I'm so fucking confused.
In high school, a weird friend of mine made me drive him and his girlfriend to the park near my house, and we all laid there for a couple hours looking at the stars. I don't know why I agreed to this, but as we lay there he said really matter of fact, "every night, when I dream, it's endless battlefields of demons fighting angels, all this blood, and all these good men dying for idiots... every night I'm there, and I end up leading the demons after killing Satan and we take over heaven and then I wake up and I know I'm gonna do this" and then he started making out with that chick while I laid there really uncomfortable. I don't know why I just typed all this up except I've been drinking and it's still less retarded than Connor bragging about things that never happened.
Nostradamus, friends!
Connor posts a list of nightmare fuel. I underlined my three most favorite.
Here's some more real life going in one ear, and crazy coming out the other. Let's not forget that earlier, Connor admitted his parents don't abuse him. He said that it's his mom who thinks his dad is cheating. His father, who he believes but isn't sure is some kind of EMT, is now a "scumbag" (one of his favorite words). And he has escalated his mother from a "drunk" to a "pill-popping drunk" to a "crazy pill-popping psychopathic drunk".
There was a scare today when Wrong Planet had to undergo emergency maintenance but don't worry! Part 22 is here. We're getting into Zatoichi territory here.
"Does anyone else prance about their rooms dressed as their characters because their characters are all real people inside of your head? Tch, yeah, I guessed not
"Maybe Connor should just join a roleplaying forum. He doesn't have to worry about writing a book, he can get praise for his purple prose, and he can feel like he's accomplishing something. Kind of like posting daily updates about Connor's exploits
rates @Connor optimistic
He should have stopped at "I wish I could write"
lol wut
And everything finally comes together...
The titties beg to differ
Well that's just weird I have no idea why he'd think that.
Okay, fair warning. What follows is gross Connor stuff. What we also get to witness is another Connor constant. When he gets really worked up (angry, horny, happy, whatever), Connor becomes a posting machine. Seriously - he has six posts, in six seperate threads, within ten minutes, all talking about how hot he is for Belly Buttons. What purpose did this serve? After this gross spurt of activity, he wasn't active until 3AM - 11 hours later!
Did he spend that entire time working his tiny dick into a bloody slurry? Did he pass out from the exertion of taking his pants of? Did he tard out because of buffering on Youtube and get grounded? Was he jerking off at the things he wrote and finished on thread number six?
What the fuck is going on here seriously why would he do this? I'm so fucking confused.
In high school, a weird friend of mine made me drive him and his girlfriend to the park near my house, and we all laid there for a couple hours looking at the stars. I don't know why I agreed to this, but as we lay there he said really matter of fact, "every night, when I dream, it's endless battlefields of demons fighting angels, all this blood, and all these good men dying for idiots... every night I'm there, and I end up leading the demons after killing Satan and we take over heaven and then I wake up and I know I'm gonna do this" and then he started making out with that chick while I laid there really uncomfortable. I don't know why I just typed all this up except I've been drinking and it's still less retarded than Connor bragging about things that never happened.
Nostradamus, friends!
Connor posts a list of nightmare fuel. I underlined my three most favorite.
Here's some more real life going in one ear, and crazy coming out the other. Let's not forget that earlier, Connor admitted his parents don't abuse him. He said that it's his mom who thinks his dad is cheating. His father, who he believes but isn't sure is some kind of EMT, is now a "scumbag" (one of his favorite words). And he has escalated his mother from a "drunk" to a "pill-popping drunk" to a "crazy pill-popping psychopathic drunk".
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2014
Connor thinks of God and birth while masturbating..... this actually explains a lot.
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caffeinated_wench
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2013
Uhhhhh....Connor? That isn't supposed to happen. lol"Does anyone else prance about their rooms dressed as their characters because their characters are all real people inside of your head? Tch, yeah, I guessed not
I mean, I sometimes perform actions and make expressions and such for references when I'm trying to get into a character's mindset; from time to time I may say a line aloud to see how it sounds (especially if it involves an accent). I'll even invoke the emotion I'm trying to portray to get a better sense of what it should be like then apply it to the character (with some alterations/variations to fit the character's personality). But you're not supposed to lose your ability to tell the difference between reality and fiction; that's another problem entirely.
Like, I get some of what he's saying because occasionally I do a little of it myself to some extent. There are plenty who do it. Just... not like that. There's still a clear line.
Like, I get some of what he's saying because occasionally I do a little of it myself to some extent. There are plenty who do it. Just... not like that. There's still a clear line.
- Joined
- May 30, 2014
In the "Nightmare Fuel" entry
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2014
RE: Connor's first item on his list of "Nightmare Fuel":
I wonder if he's a Cannibal Corpse fan? Spoilered for extremely grotesque NSFW lyrics.
I wonder if he's a Cannibal Corpse fan? Spoilered for extremely grotesque NSFW lyrics.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2013
In the "Nightmare Fuel" entry
Kinda thought that said 'goat' instead of 'goal'.
Would anyone be surprised if he had an unhealthy obsession with farm animals, tho?
- Joined
- Nov 6, 2013
This thread has inspired me to collect all the classic novels I haven't read in a while/haven't read at all and pile them next to my bed in the hope that I'll finally get back into reading regularly. (For anyone interested, this list contains: Kipling's Just So Stories, Don Quixote, A Christmas Carol, Tale of Two Cities and Great Gatsby once I can find them, Dante's Inferno, Slaughterhouse Five, The Wind in the Willows, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Phantom Tollbooth, and The Monkey Wrench Gang.)
I'm sorry I keep talking about myself. But god damn it, I've never felt this inspired by a lolcow before - or much of anything really. (Closest thing was when I composed an entire song for The Golden Knight.)
I'm sorry I keep talking about myself. But god damn it, I've never felt this inspired by a lolcow before - or much of anything really. (Closest thing was when I composed an entire song for The Golden Knight.)
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2014
You know, I've been thinking. I feel like Wrong Planet deserves a lolcow thread of its very own. The Wrong Planet community (including- no, especially- the mods) enabled the absolute fuck out of Connor. And apparently, even Connor wasn't that weird for Wrong Planet. At least going by the posts I've seen, the forum has a lot of 2edgy4me/psuedo-intellectual people who think that their autism has given them the key to the true meaning of life. In reality, they're just lulzy and attention-starved.
Just saying, I don't think autistic people should go anywhere near Wrong Planet. Unless it's to collect some funny/cringeworthy posts...
Just saying, I don't think autistic people should go anywhere near Wrong Planet. Unless it's to collect some funny/cringeworthy posts...
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2014
With regards to the Wrong Planet mods, I have a hypothesis on why they came down so hard on that Professor guy and let Connor slide. It's because the Professor used sarcasm, in this case intentionally stating one thing while implying the opposite. Granted, sarcasm on the interwebs can sometimes be a sticky wicket without italics or a /sneed tag, but most of the time you can puzzle it out.You know, I've been thinking. I feel like Wrong Planet deserves a lolcow thread of its very own. The Wrong Planet community (including- no, especially- the mods) enabled the absolute fuck out of Connor. And apparently, even Connor wasn't that weird for Wrong Planet. At least going by the posts I've seen, the forum has a lot of 2edgy4me/psuedo-intellectual people who think that their autism has given them the key to the true meaning of life. In reality, they're just lulzy and attention-starved.
Just saying, I don't think autistic people should go anywhere near Wrong Planet. Unless it's to collect some funny/cringeworthy posts...
However, one of the reoccurring hallmarks of AS/HSA is a reduced ability (and sometimes inability) to perceive sarcasm and other nuances in social communication in any context, so on a forum specifically for people with AS/HSA, they'd come down pretty hard on you for using anything except for the most direct communication. Connor is a reprehensible asshole, but he's never ambiguous, which means that he's kosher for Wrong Planet whereas the Professor is not. Different rulesets for different mindsets, I'm guessing.
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- Joined
- Jan 27, 2014
I can't really rag on Connor about this, because I often have extremely vivid dreams that cause me to wake up super-disoriented. However, these are also side effects of certain medications. & a symptom of sleep apnea, strangely enough. I guess oxygen deprivation does weird shit to your brain?
It's also a symptom of BPD to become. . .disassociative, for lack of a better word. So I have times when the lines between reality & delusion get pretty blurry. I think that may also be a trait of the 'tism, too, but don't quote me on that. TL;DR Connor does shit in dreams he thinks he does IRL, & I get that, because that happens to me periodically.
Heh, I do the same thing, actually. But I think being unable to distinguish between reality & fiction might actually be an autism trait.
EDIT: I actually had a really weird dream last night where I got this letter saying some person loved my writing & sent me $60 so I could send my work to a publishing company. I was like, "wait, I'm not even a writer!" & then I saw the letter was actually addressed to Philip K. Dick. I woke up so confused. I blame this thread.
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caffeinated_wench
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2013
It very well could be, considering Chris. We may not have confirmation if he does or doesn't (???) but that's entirely possible. Something is definitely going on in that head of his.
So that's where it went...
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2013
It's really funny, you know? Whenever Connor is here I want him to fuck off forever, but whenever he's gone I miss him so much my heart might burst 
Even though he's left us forever, we still have Part 23 of Wrong Planet.
"You know what I like about Neon Genesis Evangelion? When Alex DeLarge sang Singing in the Rain before raping a broad."
"I'm mad as hell, and not sucking dicks anymore!"
Remember when I said Connor will get a hair up his ass and post basically the same thing in multiple threads? Here's two different threads he posted in within two minutes, where he offers timeless advice on picking up chicks
"For some reason, when I open the vial, I pour it into the origin point. Her navel. Flashes of ultrasounds over a period of nine months, God at work creating his trademark. Whoever cut her umbilical cord is an artist."
Well god damn I stand corrected, they actually suspended him from what looks like November 18th to December 10th
Oh my god, two caps in a row of me being proven wrong. Humbling! Here, Connor actually gets off his butt and reviews three movies!
I'm going to assume he isn't joking, which makes this even funnier.
Connor does some good for once and helps a bunch of starting writers out with some good tips
But what happened to the pot head slut ex-girlfriend, and the crippled abused ex-girlfriend?
Is this like that two door riddle?
Just a reminder that Connor threw an all out bitchfit because someone was going to sell his story idea to Michael Bay
rates @Connor optimistic
Even though he's left us forever, we still have Part 23 of Wrong Planet.
"You know what I like about Neon Genesis Evangelion? When Alex DeLarge sang Singing in the Rain before raping a broad."
"I'm mad as hell, and not sucking dicks anymore!"
Remember when I said Connor will get a hair up his ass and post basically the same thing in multiple threads? Here's two different threads he posted in within two minutes, where he offers timeless advice on picking up chicks
And in case anyone was wondering, not a single user or moderator calls him out for either of these posts.
"For some reason, when I open the vial, I pour it into the origin point. Her navel. Flashes of ultrasounds over a period of nine months, God at work creating his trademark. Whoever cut her umbilical cord is an artist."
Well god damn I stand corrected, they actually suspended him from what looks like November 18th to December 10th
Oh my god, two caps in a row of me being proven wrong. Humbling! Here, Connor actually gets off his butt and reviews three movies!
I'm going to assume he isn't joking, which makes this even funnier.
Connor does some good for once and helps a bunch of starting writers out with some good tips
But what happened to the pot head slut ex-girlfriend, and the crippled abused ex-girlfriend?
Is this like that two door riddle?
Just a reminder that Connor threw an all out bitchfit because someone was going to sell his story idea to Michael Bay
rates @Connor optimistic
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2014
Good choices! I have Stephen King's On Writing by my bed right now, actually.
No, don't apologize! It's great to hear what other people are doing! I'm just still waiting on my tablet pen nibs. . .
Speaking of what other people are doing, I wonder when @Connor will grace us with his presence again. I promise I'll try not to RAEG this time!
I have a hunch that he's lurking as a Guest, as I believe @Sonic Hoo said. This thread bothers him way too much for him to just ignore it. Though I'm really surprised he actually logged in the other day, as @FramerGirl420 pointed out. I thought he'd be a little more subtle about it.
EDIT:
Goddamn, I think we have some hivemind shit going on, buddy.It's really funny, you know? Whenever Connor is here I want him to fuck off forever, but whenever he's gone I miss him so much my heart might burst
Okay, seriously, @Smutley, stay out of my thoughts.
Yet he expects everyone to suck his. . . /stress-sigh
/STRESS-SIGH
I really, really wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt about all his previous Marjen-sperging, but these posts are from two-ish years ago. & seeing that a lot of his WP posts from 2009 mirror his recent ones on The Farms. . .
gonna post this to random.txt, brb
nad7155
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2014
The autism in this thread just made my fern sad.
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2015
Smutley, your posts here give me life. You've made this one of the best places on the internet to feel better about myself.
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2014
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2013
"What movie should I review next? Oh, sorry, it has to be something I already own."
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2013
I'm going out of town for the weekend and probably won't be around much. I'll miss you all terribly, but in parting, here is Part 24
"God.... must control myself. Musn't spurt out writing mojo..."
One of these things is not like the other...
Considering how he feels about Lois, this comparison takes a much darker turn
Oh wow, I have not laughed this hard at something Connor has done in a long time. (three full pages)
Connor was so convinced SOMETHING was going to happen on 12/21/12 he blew up a ton of threads sperging about it
Thank God Connor doesn't have a history of believing just any old thing
If you want to lose weight why don't you just jerk it more, Connor, that's at least some physical activity.
"I know, I know... I'm talking about adoption again. So sue me"
Now before you groan and roll your eyes and skip over this post, I'm just going to put up some highlights from his first 2013 eight page adoption thread. And some are amazing.
"God.... must control myself. Musn't spurt out writing mojo..."
One of these things is not like the other...
Klaus Alois Kreiger?
Considering how he feels about Lois, this comparison takes a much darker turn
Oh wow, I have not laughed this hard at something Connor has done in a long time. (three full pages)
Connor was so convinced SOMETHING was going to happen on 12/21/12 he blew up a ton of threads sperging about it
Thank God Connor doesn't have a history of believing just any old thing
If you want to lose weight why don't you just jerk it more, Connor, that's at least some physical activity.
"I know, I know... I'm talking about adoption again. So sue me"
Now before you groan and roll your eyes and skip over this post, I'm just going to put up some highlights from his first 2013 eight page adoption thread. And some are amazing.