حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[TheAmazingAxolotl]

If a friend betrays me, I'm supposed to smirk and crack a one-liner as I walk away. Am I right?

Life isn't a movie. If a friend betrays you, they aren't your friend. Let them live their lives, and go live your own.

If a girl I'm dating turns out to be a nymphomaniac or a cheater, I'm supposed to take that like a champ and move on. Am I right?

Assuming you're capable of scoring a date, if she cheats on you, take it as it is and live your fucking life. If she's a nymphomaniac and only has eyes and open legs for you, take it as it is and life your life fucking.

If my parents hate me, I'm supposed to love them anyways. Am I right?

Not necessarily. If your parents hate you, you could do the reasonable thing by getting a job, paying your own bills, and moving out to get away from them. There's no laws saying you have to love them, or vice versa.

If I can't be a writer, I'm supposed to get hooked on something else I might not enjoy. Am I right?

Yes. You're not going to get anywhere if you don't branch out or get out of your comfort zone.

To gain friends, I have to make enemies. Am I right?

Not necessarily. You're not going to make enemies just because you're making friends, you make them by being an annoying cunt.

To gain true love, I have to break hearts. Am I right?

"True love" is a myth popularised by cheesy romantic novels and terrible romantic movies. The lovequest is a long and daunting journey that is beset on all sides by heartache and suffering. Patience is key. Just walk the lonesome road and you'll understand that one day you'll reach the end.

To play by the rules of life, I have to sometimes play dirty. Am I right?

Survival of the fittest. This has been a concept since the first fish walked on the land and became the first amphibian. If you want to move up, you need to fight for it, that's how it was for us in nature, and it's how it works for us in society.

Now quit being such a baby.

 

[Hi I Am From Page 6]

If a friend betrays me, I'm supposed to smirk and crack a one-liner as I walk away. Am I right?

Noone is saying "you're wrong to feel hurt". However, dwelling on things for years is unhealthy. If someone betrays you, why are they worth thinking about?

If a girl I'm dating turns out to be a nymphomaniac or a cheater, I'm supposed to take that like a champ and move on. Am I right?

See my previous answers. If the girl you date turns out to be a nymphomaniac, celebrate! You're gonna get laid ALL THE TIME!

If my parents hate me, I'm supposed to love them anyways. Am I right?

No.

If I can't be a writer, I'm supposed to get hooked on something else I might not enjoy. Am I right?

Or maybe find something you do enjoy. Or get a job and write in your spare time.

To gain friends, I have to make enemies. Am I right?

I'm not sure how this even makes sense. I can tell you now, though: if your general attitude to everything is an attempt to make enemies because you think that will somehow get you friends, it isn't working.

To gain true love, I have to break hearts. Am I right?

Not necessarily. You do have to refuse to settle for someone who isn't right, but if you can identify "not right for me" quickly enough, you can end things with people early enough to avoid real heartbreak.

To play by the rules of life, I have to sometimes play dirty. Am I right?

I suspect so, unfortunately.

 

[harvey dirdban]

Is that code for "do you think his AS is an excuse?"?

I think it does play a part, because Asperger's does cause real problems, and I think a lot of his refusal to change despite being unhappy is a combination of the typical autistic hatred of change, and of the fact that people with autism typically have trouble making and executing plans.

However, I do think that he has a massive chip on his shoulder which is as big a contributor, if not bigger, to his problems.

I think the autism supremacy rhetoric on places like WP really reinforces some autistic people's refusal to improve their lives, though. I've dealt with some Connor-like folks in support groups who felt that any attempt to be more neurotypical-passing was somehow a betrayal of their true selves, and of the autism community. Which I understand to a point, but you don't have to try to talk to the grocery store clerk about Sonic the hedgehog, you know? Little adjustments can make life easier for everyone.

 

[lynx]

your attempts to leave/get banned remind me so much of this video clip. death's message is especially relevant.

 

[Dalish]

I hope when he does shower next, the water heater does that thing where it goes slightly warm but not warm enough to finish washing.

I hope when he showers he can't find the balance between ice water and Satan seductively licking your back hot. I hope someone always turns on the taps when he showers.

 

[Hat]

Okay...

If a friend betrays me, I'm supposed to smirk and crack a one-liner as I walk away. Am I right?
If a girl I'm dating turns out to be a nymphomaniac or a cheater, I'm supposed to take that like a champ and move on. Am I right?
If my parents hate me, I'm supposed to love them anyways. Am I right?
If I can't be a writer, I'm supposed to get hooked on something else I might not enjoy. Am I right?
To gain friends, I have to make enemies. Am I right?
To gain true love, I have to break hearts. Am I right?
To play by the rules of life, I have to sometimes play dirty. Am I right?

- Get new friends
- Date better women
- Your parents don't fucking hate you
- Either learn to write or find something that you actually enjoy; the rate at which you write indicates that you do not actually like writing
- Having enemies is part of life
- Breaking hearts is part of life
- Yes

 

[SpessCaptain]

Connor, helping yourself is an adult thing to do, you need to understand that posting on this thread and whinging about how the world doesn't revolve around you isn't going to help. People nudge you to get off your ass and change your life. Hugboxes are you friends and family you know that you can trust - not a bunch of people who laugh at you on a forum.

Rolling your shoulders in a shrug is a sign of defeat and you can't let life's minor problems defeat you.
I would say I would believe in you, but obviously are so stuck in this 'life's shit' mentality that you're gonna let yourself get taken over by it. Either show your true blood and do something or be a failure for the rest of your life.

 

[DH 384]

Okay...

If a friend betrays me, I'm supposed to smirk and crack a one-liner as I walk away. Am I right?

Yeah. You can be hurt by it but you have to move on and find other friends.

If a girl I'm dating turns out to be a nymphomaniac or a cheater, I'm supposed to take that like a champ and move on. Am I right?

Yeah. It happens to everyone and you have to eventually move on.

If my parents hate me, I'm supposed to love them anyways. Am I right?

No, you become successful enough to sever ties from them, become completely independent, and move forward. A phone call every so often would be nice though and makes you the better person.

That's ignoring the fact that your parents don't hate you. Frustrated with you? Maybe. Hate you? No.

If I can't be a writer, I'm supposed to get hooked on something else I might not enjoy. Am I right?

YES. Or learn to be a better/more productive writer.

To gain friends, I have to make enemies. Am I right?

You're already halfway there, buddy.

To gain true love, I have to break hearts. Am I right?

Once again, you've already done half the job.

To play by the rules of life, I have to sometimes play dirty. Am I right?

If your crotch fungus has any say in the matter, you might want to start playing life a bit cleaner.

 

[MysticMisty]

Why do I hate women? Because for most of my life, they've treated me like shit.

You stalked a girl you were told, repeatedly, was not interested in you. That gave all of the girls from your high school reason to call you a creep. And rightfully so. These days you walk around your college campus trying to be "edgy" with your crime scene details shit. Which also gives the women there reason to call you a creep. Online, you furiously rant about how you deserve sex a girlfriend and refer to us women collectively as bitches, whores, sluts, cunts, am I missing anything? It gives us reason to call you a creep? Do you see a pattern?

Spoiler

No.

 

[Hi I Am From Page 6]

You can't just go around keeping every sperg you bring home. But I think in this case we'll make an exception.

*wags tail and looks appealing*

 

[Le Bateleur]

"Be yourself" is terrible advice. Seriously.

Think of yourself as literally just your own, naked body. It's who you are, sure, but when you want to go and interact with other people, 99.5% of the time you put on appropriate clothing. Metaphorically, the clothes are the subtle changes to your natural pattern of words, actions and thoughts which you make in order to get on with other people.

I appreciate that having autism makes it difficult to gauge what might be appropriate, or to read social cues. These problems are not insurmountable. Start by getting past the idea that not "being yourself" is the same as "selling out".

 

[Yog-Spergoth]

"Be yourself" is terrible advice. Seriously.

Absolutely right.

Be yourself, sure, but if who you 'are' at the moment isn't helping you or making you happy, FUCKING CHANGE.

 

[Chuggernaut]

"Be yourself" is terrible advice. Seriously.

Think of yourself as literally just your own, naked body. It's who you are, sure, but when you want to go and interact with other people, 99.5% of the time you put on appropriate clothing. Metaphorically, the clothes are the subtle changes to your natural pattern of words, actions and thoughts which you make in order to get on with other people.

I appreciate that having autism makes it difficult to gauge what might be appropriate, or to read social cues. These problems are not insurmountable. Start by getting past the idea that not "being yourself" is the same as "selling out".

If there are things in your life you are unhappy with, they probably begin somewhere within you. Become the change you want to see.

 

[HG 400]

@Connor tell us a story about when women treated you like shit.

 

[Watcher]

Chat tells us what they hope Connor does with his life

1. https://static.kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/17.jpg?1416407615 1 minute agoRio:
   I hope Connor accidently makes his elbow lock-up when he's stretching
2. https://static.kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/17.jpg?1416407615 A moment agoRio:
   I hope he gets a very persistent itch on his butt in public
3. https://static.kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/17.jpg?1416407615 2 minutes agoRio:
   I hope next time Connor needs something from his cupboard, a plastic cup falls from it as he opens it
4. https://static.kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/17.jpg?1416407615 2 minutes agoRio:
   and I hope it falls on his toes
5. https://static.kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/23.jpg?1394010477 A moment agoKatsuKitty:
   I hope the next time Connor takes a dump, there's only a ticket-sized piece of toilet paper left on the roll.
6. https://static.kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/23.jpg?1394010477 A moment agoKatsuKitty:
   I hope the next time Connor goes to McDonald's, they put mustard on his burger when he asks specifically for no mustard.
7. https://static.kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/31.jpg?1423177239 A moment agoMauvman Shuffleboard:
   I hope Connor goes to McDonalds and specifically asks for ketchup with his fries and then gets mugged instead.
8. https://static.kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/3/3736.jpg?1419201668 A moment agoTheAmazingAxolotl:
   I hope the next time Connor takes a shit it'll feel like a really massive dump that will take thirty minutes but he only farts for 15 seconds and a little sauce packet of shit falls out
9. https://static.kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/3/3736.jpg?1419201668 A moment agoTheAmazingAxolotl:
   And I hope he takes that shit in a public restroom
10. https://static.kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/1/1338.jpg?1422651934 A moment agoDynastia:
    I hope connor meets Molly Ringwald and they fall in love and decide to start a family and they're waiting until they get married to have sex and then on their wedding day it turns out it's a big hairy man cause connor's autistic and has faceblindness, and the fake molly ringwald slaps him in the chin with his big hairy dong
11. https://static.kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/17.jpg?1416407615 A moment agoRio:
    I hope Connor picks up a bottle, thinking it's full, brings it to his mouth in a public room.. then someone shoves him over and he falls face-first onto the table, ramming the bottle through his brain stem
12. https://static.kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/17.jpg?1416407615 A moment agoRio:
    ... too far?
13. https://static.kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/23.jpg?1394010477 A moment agoKatsuKitty:
    I hope the next time Connor takes a piss, he gets a large drop on his khaki pants and has to splash water on him at the sink to make it look like he had a mishap washing his hands instead
14. https://static.kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/31.jpg?1423177239 A moment agoMauvman Shuffleboard:
    I hope Connor slips on a banana peel and gets diabetes.
15. https://static.kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/1/1351.jpg?1421902231 A moment agoPine Tar:
    I hope that Connor gets sent to Isreal to look for Tupac Shakur and then it turns out that he got sent to Zimbabwe. He then tries to talk to one of the locals about Redesigning Eva.....
16. https://static.kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/3/3736.jpg?1419201668 A moment agoTheAmazingAxolotl:
    When Connor dies I hope his skeleton is turned into a c handelier so that he can hang all day and burn all night.
17. https://static.kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/2/2174.jpg?1423155512 A moment agoRonald Gaygun:
    @ @KatsuKitty, DUDE THAT'SD TOO FUCKING FAR
18. https://static.kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/1/1338.jpg?1422651934 A moment agoDynastia:
    i hope connor meets an approachable homely autistic girl and realises she's the only chance he'll have at romance and asks her out and she says "no thanks, i can do better"
19. https://static.kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/23.jpg?1394010477 A moment agoKatsuKitty:
    I hope the next time Connor is cooking pasta, the foam bubbles up too much and flows over the pot
20. https://static.kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/1/1338.jpg?1422651934 A moment agoDynastia:
    @ @KatsuKitty, you think connor cooks his own meals?

 

[Cosmos]

@Connor tell us a story about when women treated you like shit. I'm all ears.

 

[Hi I Am From Page 6]

I think the autism supremacy rhetoric on places like WP really reinforces some autistic people's refusal to improve their lives, though. I've dealt with some Connor-like folks in support groups who felt that any attempt to be more neurotypical-passing was somehow a betrayal of their true selves, and of the autism community. Which I understand to a point, but you don't have to try to talk to the grocery store clerk about Sonic the hedgehog, you know? Little adjustments can make life easier for everyone.

I have to agree with you there.
I went through a brief autism supremacy stage when I first began to seriously suspect that I had Asperger's. For me, it was a reaction to finding a group of people who had the same difficulties as me, and who seemed to make a lot of sense. At the time, I didn't have the insight to distinguish between "these people make sense to me, therefore they make sense to me, but they could still be wrong" and "these people are superior beings". Blame it on the last dregs of adolescence.
It was also because I'd spent my whole life feeling like a lesser human, and now that I'd found an explanation and a community, I didn't have to feel inferior anymore, but I swung too far in the opposite direction.
I think a lot of people there could relate to those reasons. I'd say that most of the more established members grow out of Aspie supremacism, but because we get new members all the time, the problem probably looks worse than it really is.

 

[Ronald Gaygun]

Hey @Connor, I think we kinda got off on the wrong foot. By way of an apology, here's a picture of a hot girl. I hope you like it.

 

[Mr. 0]

Why does Connor twist people's advice into "So I'm supposed to X and Y" where X looks like the advice, then leads into Y, which has nothing to do with what the advice recommended?

 

[Pine Tar]

Why does Connor twist people's advice into "So I'm supposed to X and Y" where X looks like the advice, then leads into Y, which has nothing to do with what the advice recommended?

Atsimu.