حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 125 13.1%
  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.7%
  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 528 55.3%
  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 228 23.9%

  • Total voters
    954
I believe one cut him in line recently.

I don't consider myself a racist. However, I have had to put up with assholes of different colors in the past, and that really puts a strain on me. This one time, when I was in vocational rehabilitation, some African-American girl cut in front of me in line when we were getting our checks.
That explains it all. Not only was the person cutting in line african-american - it was also a girl! After experiences this traumatic, wouldn't everybody wrestle with racist and sexist thoughts for the rest of their life.
 
Here're the newer posts from Connor's Wrong Planet thread on the Kiwi Farms, in case anyone missed it. I apologize for the lack of uniformity is size of the clips.
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EDIT: Images broken; made links.
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Literally no one believed that was Molly Ringwald but you, Connor, and frankly I'm dumbfounded that you fell for it. I genuinely expected you to see through that in a matter of seconds, and yet you continue to surprise and amaze.
 
Just caught up with the Connor thread and just have this to say:
Why is it that some lolcows get hurt by a girl once or twice and then go completely apeshit and hate women forever like they're some kind of special being? People have bad relationships all the time, but lolcows take it to a whole 'nother level.
I would blame autism but...
you got some lolcows like Chris... he LOVES women even though every woman ever has treated him like shit.
 
Just caught up with the Connor thread and just have this to say:
Why is it that some lolcows get hurt by a girl once or twice and then go completely apeshit and hate women forever like they're some kind of special being? People have bad relationships all the time, but lolcows take it to a whole 'nother level.
I would blame autism but...
you got some lolcows like Chris... he LOVES women even though every woman ever has treated him like shit.
The 'tism works in strange ways.
 
Just caught up with the Connor thread and just have this to say:
Why is it that some lolcows get hurt by a girl once or twice and then go completely apeshit and hate women forever like they're some kind of special being? People have bad relationships all the time, but lolcows take it to a whole 'nother level.
I would blame autism but...
you got some lolcows like Chris... he LOVES women even though every woman ever has treated him like shit.

It's easier to blame the world than to accept their imperfections.
 
I missed Connor...

@Connor, since you won't tell us about the time a girl treated you like shit, there's Something That I Want to know from you:

Why do you hate Disney songs? It's A Whole New World out there when you Be A Man and embrace them. As Long As There's A Moon, you'll feel on Top Of The World when you Listen With Your Heart and sing. No one wants to become Part of Your World and who knows, maybe if you Make It Right and accept the greatness of all Disney songs you'll get to Kiss The Girl.

Assuming Connor could Go The Distance, which he all know he can't and won't.
 
Why is it that some lolcows get hurt by a girl once or twice and then go completely apeshit and hate women forever like they're some kind of special being?

This answer may be unpopular and/or seem SJW-y but I think the answer is in part sexism. You'll notice that it rarely happen with female lolcows who are rejected by men. There's a lot of messaging coming from the wider culture that women are supposed to be sexually and emotionally available to men, and make sacrifices to make the men feel happy and secure. This leads to feelings of betrayal, deprivation and (ironically) discrimination on the part of the lolcow, which in turn leads to the kind of bitter, entitled misogyny that is so common among lolcows.
 
This answer may be unpopular and/or seem SJW-y but I think the answer is in part sexism. You'll notice that it rarely happen with female lolcows who are rejected by men. There's a lot of messaging coming from the wider culture that women are supposed to be sexually and emotionally available to men, and make sacrifices to make the men feel happy and secure. This leads to feelings of betrayal, deprivation and (ironically) discrimination on the part of the lolcow, which in turn leads to the kind of bitter, entitled misogyny that is so common among lolcows.

Honestly, I agree. If the hero always gets the girl, and everyone is the hero of their own story, a girl not giving herself up to that 'hero' (granted a certain lack of life experience and social nous) is practically BREAKING THE RULES.
 
See my previous answers. If the girl you date turns out to be a nymphomaniac, celebrate! You're gonna get laid ALL THE TIME!

Those words don't mean the same thing to Connor as they do to everybody else.

When he says cheater he means girl I want to date but she is already seeing somebody else. HOW DARE SHE!

When he says nymphomaniac he means girl who has sex with people that are not him. HOW DARE SHE!
 
I know that Cracked seems to be the Vegemite of the Internet (you either love it or you hate it), but whatever your opinion on the site in general, you can't deny that David Wong dropped the mic on Connors everywhere with this gem:

6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person


Hell, even if you're not @Connor, it's still good to be reminded and fired up occasionally.
 
Good lord, have I missed quite a bit.

Well, from what I can tell, Connor is still being a whiny fat faggot, who nobody will ever fuck.

Well, all I can say is welcome, page-six. I have a question.

How bad was he on Wrong Planet?
 
Were you able to get any sensible advice through Connor's thick skull?
Nope. The messages were pretty uneventful. In the last exchange he changes the subject to being about him and Redesigning Eva. There is a lot of asspating, so sorry about that to all the kiwis.
You're the hero we need, but not the one we deserve. Thank you, Molly :heart-full:
I would never post messages like this if it were a better person. All Connor has been doing is fishing for sympathy and pretending he's done nothing wrong and/or changed. This is my way of reacting to his sick perversions of me that he obviously still has (not trying to sound conceited, but you know). It's become really unsettling after reading his posts (WP and ones about me) and realizing that while he's messaging you, he's probably thinking about doing all of that stuff.
 
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