Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

Reminds me of the biggest problem when it came to the Michael Bay films: for whatever reason, they decided that humans were necessary for the audience to 'empathize' and 'relate' to the robots.

The blatantly bipedal, very human like robots.
Hell, WALL-E was neither human, nor bipedal, nor even capable of speech and I empathized with that adorable cleaner robot doomed to an eternity of stacking garbage, driven near insane after centuries of work, and damned to be the last of its kind, forced to salvage the corpses of its kin to continue its own cursed existence.

Back on track, EPIX is rumored to be 155 minutes long.
155 fucking minutes of shit. Jesus fucking christ this is going to be a catastrophe. Two hours and thirty five minutes of Rey being infallible and fetch quests to Exogol.

How the fuck is this real.
 
I wonder what everybody's favorite Blue's Clues reviewer PhantomStrider will think of Episode IX.

Also, the review of TLJ he posted back in 2017 is comedy at its finest. One thing's for sure. He's right about the exceptional acting.

star_wars__the_last_jedi_review_by_phantomstrider_dbxkfkj-fullview.jpg
 
Took a closer look at the new menu. Seems they didn't completely removed the old names, just shrunk them down for some bizarre reason and put them below the renames. The desserts received complete renames though. For example, the Mustafarian Lava Roll is now the Mustafarian Cinnamon Roll.
1571363331408.jpeg

I wonder what the logic behind this was? Was their food not selling enough so they thought people didn't understand the nature of the food items rather than realizing that everything is overpriced as fuck? Either way I hope there's more shit they end up removing. It'll make this thread one of the few places with complete info on the park's details which no other place covered. Hell, this thread is the only place that has the names of all the mounted heads in Dok's store while the "professional Star Wars fansites" couldn't even figure out how to activate the Dianoga at the water fountain until months after the fact.

Anyway here's some shitty news. The Mexican Kyle Katarn show is still in production and they brought in a Rogue One writer to make sure "fans get what they want". Who even asked for this? This is like making a show about a chinese bootleg knockoff (of a more popular but still lesser known character) who we all know is going to die by the end of this.

Also here's the inside of the Kylo Ren ride's final area much like how I said it would be.
1571364996624.png

Its a broken down hangar where your escape pod crashes into after escaping from Kylo Ren.

Also Daisy Ridley teased Reylo garbage again which has tard fans turned on.

View attachment 975531


Why does it have a nutsack on its chin?
The majority of new aliens look like scrotums or mutilated dicks and this game is almost entirely nu-aliens with the exception of wookiees.
 
I recently took advantage of a minor savings deal on eBay and grabbed both the Coca Cola and Sprite Thermal Detonator bottles virtually at-cost, so now I have the full set (don't have the Arabesh Dasani water bottle but honestly, it's the same fucking bottle with fancy letters, who gives a shit?). They do make nice display pieces, but incidentally the Sprite bottle somehow had its top dislodged while in transit.

Turns out that all the Thermal Detonator bottles are amounts to just a ball shaped bottle, a completely normal soda bottle cap, and the Thermal Detonator 'head' which isn't even glued onto the bottle cap, it's held on entirely by friction. I was able to fix the Sprite bottle top easily with some force but besides cost, it seems like the only reason they did it this haphazardly is so they could keep putting those MyCokeRewards codes on the bottle cap undersides.

Was their food not selling enough so they thought people didn't understand the nature of the food items rather than realizing that everything is overpriced as fuck?

Probably, though as I've probably said before, the main problem with Galaxy's Edge is that it obviously wasn't designed to open in 'phases'. The park is basically split into three sections: the Kylo Ren ride/Resistance side, the Millenium Falcon/Black Spire Outpost side, and the market slapped dead center between them. The idea, naturally, is that people going between rides will inevitably buy the shit you shove in their face because it's basically one big giant giftshop - we're talking Roller Coaster Tycoon logic, guests have raised happiness meters after a ride, then immediately afterward they're more likely to buy the overpriced crap nearest too them.

The issue, naturally, is that Rise of the Resistance, the star attraction of this entire shit show, isn't running. Which means not only is the 'Resistance' side of GE entirely fucking pointless beyond I think the one stall outside the entrance to Rise, but there's no incentive for people to go into the Batuu marketplace unless they're coming up from the Critter Country entrance to get to the Falcon ride (using the Disneyland layout, don't know how it's set up in WDW). Coupled with the pathetic crowd levels the park has suffered since opening day in both installations, and GE is just a complete failure that isn't even living up to its design specs.
 
Turns out that all the Thermal Detonator bottles are amounts to just a ball shaped bottle, a completely normal soda bottle cap, and the Thermal Detonator 'head' which isn't even glued onto the bottle cap, it's held on entirely by friction. I was able to fix the Sprite bottle top easily with some force but besides cost, it seems like the only reason they did it this haphazardly is so they could keep putting those MyCokeRewards codes on the bottle cap undersides.
Yep. I went into a lot of detail about how deceiving the bottles were. Even I initially thought they were custom-designed with unique details only to realize they're the same ball-shaped Christmas bottles from past events but with a "fancy" removable label. Its also odd that they call them thermal detonator bottles when they look nothing like thermal detonators. If anything they look more like those old-fashioned pokeballs from that Celebi movie than thermal detonators.
1571371029644.png
1571370848350.png

Still probably the most popular souvenirs since they're the only damn things even remote affordable for the common tourist and probably nicer to look at if viewed on a shelf.

The issue, naturally, is that Rise of the Resistance, the star attraction of this entire shit show, isn't running. Which means not only is the 'Resistance' side of GE entirely fucking pointless beyond I think the one stall outside the entrance to Rise, but there's no incentive for people to go into the Batuu marketplace unless they're coming up from the Critter Country entrance to get to the Falcon ride (using the Disneyland layout, don't know how it's set up in WDW). Coupled with the pathetic crowd levels the park has suffered since opening day in both installations, and GE is just a complete failure that isn't even living up to its design specs.
Opening this park before their shitty star attraction was even completed was probably their biggest mistake. Also, I have info on the WDW layout and its differences now. I just haven't posted it yet since I don't know if its something anyone else is interested in since the park offers nothing new. Just less things, no Ark of the Covenant replica and more saturated colors.
 
Opening this park before their shitty star attraction was even completed was probably their biggest mistake. Also, I have info on the WDW layout and its differences now. I just haven't posted it yet since I don't know if its something anyone else is interested in since the park offers nothing new. Just less things, no Ark of the Covenant replica and more saturated colors.

I'm interested on any info on the WDW version you've got.
 
I wonder what everybody's favorite Blue's Clues reviewer PhantomStrider will think of Episode IX.

Also, the review of TLJ he posted back in 2017 is comedy at its finest. One thing's for sure. He's right about the exceptional acting.

star_wars__the_last_jedi_review_by_phantomstrider_dbxkfkj-fullview.jpg

He's a baby. Babby's opinions don't count.
 
Okay, I have a game to play. Let's fix the ST, but we can only change the very end of ROS.
Basically, who here can recton this in the funniest way.

Leia wakes up, hears the shower running, and opens shower to find Han standing there. He says "Morning". Snap cut to 'Directed by JJ Abrams" Roll credits.

you fuckers better get that one
 
Rian Johnson claims he's a fan of the OT but his movie goes out of its way to dismantle everything good about those movies.

he's as much a fan as that thot wearing a nirvana shirt is fan of kurt cobain. same as jarjar. ruin's whole persona is literally "star wars is plebby nerd shit, I make adult movies for adult viewers like myself". while jarjar always latched on to popular shit, ruin "selling out" for fame and bucks makes it even more hilarious when he tries to act like he's the auteur cinephile after showing the whole world he can't even do a plebby nerd shit movie like star wars right on a basic level.

Also she was IIRC explicitly designed to be the blankest possible slate for people to "relate to" which was the exact shit stephanie meyer used with Bella in Twilight and just goes to show how you should never fucking listen to what a consensus of focus groups have to say about "perfect" character writing, since sanding down anything that isnt generic wound up removing anything resembling character or a personality.

to be fair twilight is fapfuel for middle-aged moms and a book, so not only a different medium but also much smaller and more specific demographic.
and considering that shit made bank and spawned it's own normie bdsm fapfiction which also made bank, having a blank character to project yourself into seems to be the way to go, no?
but seriously, the shit writing is a much bigger issue for nuwars than rey's character (to come back to it, even bella swan is better written, or at least fitting her role).

Hell, WALL-E was neither human, nor bipedal, nor even capable of speech and I empathized with that adorable cleaner robot doomed to an eternity of stacking garbage, driven near insane after centuries of work, and damned to be the last of its kind, forced to salvage the corpses of its kin to continue its own cursed existence.

wall-e wasn't a "dumb" action movie where a junkyard has sex with itself for 2/3 of the movie. the human actors were pretty much always side-characters to complement the transformers (hence them constantly changing) and to make it more accessible - normies need their reaction faces, peter cullen emoting via voice alone isn't gonna cut it. same reason the transformers were color coded later on and made even more of a stereotype to make them more distinguishable.
 
Last edited:
Leia wakes up, hears the shower running, and opens shower to find Han standing there. He says "Morning". Snap cut to 'Directed by JJ Abrams" Roll credits.

you fuckers better get that one
I think it's funny that everybody attempting to improve the ending is going with slight variations on it was all a dream. Everything I've been told about storytelling over the years is that you never want to play that card as audiences generally fucking hate it. Yet Disney has so fucked the franchise that people are wishing for a shitty trope to be true and everybody knows deep down that there is no fixing this mess.
 
I wonder what the logic behind this was? Was their food not selling enough so they thought people didn't understand the nature of the food items rather than realizing that everything is overpriced as fuck?
I heard it was allegedly because non-English speaking tourists were getting too confused.
 
I heard it was allegedly because non-English speaking tourists were getting too confused.
But the names didn't mean much in English either. Unless they were assuming it meant something they couldn't understand?
Edit: To be fair I could see the names being annoying to everybody, although I was under the impression that unless you had allergies, you're supposed to just pretend you're really on an alien planet and order something without knowing entirely what it is. But everything being overpriced kills that idea I guess.

Okay, I have a game to play. Let's fix the ST, but we can only change the very end of ROS.
Basically, who here can recton this in the funniest way.

Palpatine wins. The galaxy will get the leader it deserves.
 
Last edited:
Yep. I went into a lot of detail about how deceiving the bottles were. Even I initially thought they were custom-designed with unique details only to realize they're the same ball-shaped Christmas bottles from past events but with a "fancy" removable label. Its also odd that they call them thermal detonator bottles when they look nothing like thermal detonators. If anything they look more like those old-fashioned pokeballs from that Celebi movie than thermal detonators.

I wasn't aware they were actually reused holiday bottles (I missed your original post on the subject, sorry). But that makes all the sense in the world that they'd just reuse the same bottle mold, put on a new cheap plastic cap and label, and bill it as something it vaguely looks like. I for one think they still look neat BUT I do wish they'd at least tinted the plastic. The Sprite one in particular doesn't look so great if looked at in direct light since its face label is over a transparent part of the label, and without any Sprite in the bottle it's not the easiest thing in the world to "read".

I think it's funny that everybody attempting to improve the ending is going with slight variations on it was all a dream. Everything I've been told about storytelling over the years is that you never want to play that card as audiences generally fucking hate it. Yet Disney has so fucked the franchise that people are wishing for a shitty trope to be true and everybody knows deep down that there is no fixing this mess.

It was a dream, time travel, or straight up in-universe fictionalization.

At the end of the day, they all point to the same thing: this series is so irrevocably fucked after TLJ that nothing short of pulling a Days of Future Past at minimum to alter the course of in-universe history will fix things properly.
 
But the names didn't mean much in English either. Unless they were assuming it meant something they couldn't understand?
Probably. I could see this being an issue with Asian tourists where they would be familiar with English names for food and not much else getting baffled by it. Restaurants anywhere hate having to try and describe menu items to people who don't speak their language since it wastes a lot of time and you end up going in circles. In most parts of the world having giant pictures on the menu you can point at is pretty popular.
 
Isn't it sad? We've gone from "I'm calling so-and-so a bad person because they vote differently than I do" to "I'm calling so-and-so a bad person because they like different movies than I do" in almost no time.

People are so self-absorbed and neurotic these days that they get personally offended over people who have different tastes in entertainment.

It's so pathetic.

Who knew Mr. Bones Wild Ride would stop off at Clown World.

Last stop: Bottom Text

So generic science fiction universe with the name Star Wars slapped onto it? They won't even need Chinese audiences because they'll already be making the shitty Chinese ripoff of Star Wars by changing the names and appearances of everything Star Wars just so they don't have to pay Lucas money. Can't wait to see the "Skywalkers" (led by the kid at the end of TLJ) or whatever they'll be replacing the Jedi with in a galaxy full of aliens like Based Klaud and the freaks from Canto Bight and the weird fleshy nu-Wars versions of classic aliens like Admiral Ackbar's down syndrome son.

Look on the bright side. If that happens, the Left will eat their own like orange clockwork:



You don't need to read the wall of high-functioning racism autism Itchy was mad enough to catalog, just the first five tweets will get the message across. Basically she's throwing shade at RJ for putting the future of the galaxy in the hands of his WHITE MALE broom-boy self-insert.

I think it's funny that everybody attempting to improve the ending is going with slight variations on it was all a dream. Everything I've been told about storytelling over the years is that you never want to play that card as audiences generally fucking hate it. Yet Disney has so fucked the franchise that people are wishing for a shitty trope to be true and everybody knows deep down that there is no fixing this mess.

Why does anyone hope for this disaster to be saved? It's fucking dead, just enjoy the bonfire.

At the end of the day, they all point to the same thing: this series is so irrevocably fucked after TLJ that nothing short of pulling a Days of Future Past at minimum to alter the course of in-universe history will fix things properly.

I set the bar at pulling a blatant recon of everything Disney Star Wars and starting over in the form of a cartoon or TV show. They can move on with feature films, but only on the basis of the OT, the PT, and the EU. Fuck the Story Group, fuck Kathleen Kennedy, fuck JJ, fuck Iger, and fuck Filoni for good measure. Just have a clean slate from post 2005 and pre 2008 or nothing at all. I'm sure Star Wars is just a pit of debt at this point that keeps getting deeper, so either they cut their losses or cut the bullshit. That's my deal.
 
Back