حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Arkangel]

I'm not sure if @Connor saw my proposal, so I'm going to repeat it again and make sure he sees it.

Spoiler

This is the hat I own and wear. It's a Brixtion Hooligan flat cap that I paid 30 dollars for. On some days, it's the most expensive piece of clothing I choose to wear.

I told you before that I would take a picture of myself EATING this hat if you got up off your ass, finished writing your resume, got a job, and showed us your first paycheck.

I'm still standing by my offer.

I WANT to eat this hat. More importantly, YOU want me to eat this hat. Not just because you'd find it personally amusing, but because you want to prove everyone wrong. I want to be wrong. I want this hat in my stomach.

Only YOU can make it happen.

 

[Cosmos]

I didn't post this because Connor is so witless and dull he constantly repeats himself. However he was so proud of himself for linking women to that story he went on to post about it again in another thread.

View attachment 16261

 

[Dynamite Ninja]

No, really. I'm crying as I type this. I really do hate myself, and other people. Most of the time, when I'm out in the world, I feel like freaking out. Sometimes, I actually think about dying. I feel like I'm just waiting for that final loss of consciousness, the ending of my story. I wonder how it might happen, when it will come, or how I might end it myself. I can barely bring myself to do anything, let alone write a coherent, meaningful post.

If you are serious about committing suicide, do not hesitate to get proper help immediately.

 

[Locksnap]

If you are serious about committing suicide, do not hesitate to get proper help immediately.

Don't sweat it dude, hes already tried and failed twice before.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

EDIT: CONTEXT

No, really. I'm crying as I type this. I really do hate myself, and other people. Most of the time, when I'm out in the world, I feel like freaking out. Sometimes, I actually think about dying. I feel like I'm just waiting for that final loss of consciousness, the ending of my story. I wonder how it might happen, when it will come, or how I might end it myself. I can barely bring myself to do anything, let alone write a coherent, meaningful post.

A small part of me is starting to get suckered into pitying him again.

Spoiler: me right now

That small part can fuck off.
Also I thought the bleeding heart shirt was cute.

 

[HG 400]

When Connor vaguely threatened suicide I rated his post "optimistic".

Make of that what you will.

 

[Meowthkip]

I didn't post this because Connor is so witless and dull he constantly repeats himself. However he was so proud of himself for linking women to that story he went on to post about it again in another thread.

View attachment 16261

HA HA HA OH WOW.

 

[Shiala]

I didn't post this because Connor is so witless and dull he constantly repeats himself. However he was so proud of himself for linking women to that story he went on to post about it again in another thread.

View attachment 16261

Clearly he stalked and creeped out another girl that day and couldn't understand why she became terrified of him.

 

[LordDarkrai]

This is my reaction in a nutshell.

The last thing I will say to you Conner is its never too late to do anything about your problems. There's always a way to improve. Even if its a tiny thing, it's worth it. Something like hanging out with friends more often, volunteering or donating to something. Its the best feeling.

 

[Molly Ringwald]

EDIT: CONTEXT



A small part of me is starting to get suckered into pitying him again.

Spoiler: me right now

View attachment 16265
View attachment 16266
That small part can fuck off.
Also I thought the bleeding heart shirt was cute.

Don't be suckered into giving him what he wants. He needs to learn that his actions have consequences. Stalking girls, ranting about how much you hate adoption, apologizing for that, and then doing it again, openly posting creepy fetishes, revealing extremely personal details, and god knows what else isn't going to go well for him.

Don't sweat it dude, hes already tried and failed twice before.

When was this first revealed anyway?

 

[Cosmos]

Don't be suckered into giving him what he wants. He needs to learn that his actions have consequences. Stalking girls, ranting about how much you hate adoption, apologizing for that, and then doing it again, openly posting creepy fetishes, revealing extremely personal details, and god knows what else isn't going to go well for him.

It astounds me that Connor basically doxxes himself wherever he goes (his posts on Wrong Planet are the most egregious; he constantly refers to himself as "Connor Bible," gives away his hometown and the names of several people he knows, etc) along with showing off his creepy, edgy behavior... and then rants at us for ruining his possible chances of dates/employment by discussing him here.

Because if Connor doesn't get hired somewhere, then that's our fault, not because the potential employer stumbled across that disgusting and creepy Wrong Planet thread (which, may I remind you, can be easily found considering the self-doxxing Connor does) about Connor stalking a girl and mood-swinging about his obsession with her. NO, IF CONNOR BIBLE IS EVER HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR HIS BEHAVIOR, IT'S BECAUSE OF THOSE DAMNED KIWIS!

 

[Bound2]

It's what you all want to hear.

Ever consider that telling people what you think they want to hear is a bad strategy if your desired outcome is trying to help yourself?
Also, you're not very good at it. None of your posts have made me think "oh, he gets why we've been giving him shit now".

I've been going to therapy for years. He's a nice, decent guy, I guess.

What do you talk about in therapy? Do you make plans for dealing with things like anger in the future? Do you go over past mistakes and discuss how you can handle situations better? Are you making plans for improving things or just endlessly circling around how bad you feel?

A couple of pages ago, I posted a Cracked article about how misery can cut you off at the knees and prevent you from acting to better yourself.
This is it: http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-reasons-misery-shockingly-addictive/

Read it. Then read it again. Then think about when we call out on "making excuses". I think that if you genuinely reflected about what was being said to you, you'd be more open to improving the less appealing aspects of yourself. You've got tons of advice and support in this thread, all of which you've ignored.

Which would you rather be in ten years, the same miserable helpless person you are now or a slightly different but ultimately more complete human being?

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Connor's parents don't put up with his crap and expect him to act his age = abuse

Kiwis don't put up with his crap and bend over backwards to offer advice and point out what's he's doing wrong = we're evil trolls and cyberbullies

 

[Shiala]

Because if Connor doesn't get hired somewhere, then that's our fault, not because the potential employer stumbled across that disgusting and creepy Wrong Planet thread (which, may I remind you, can be easily found considering the self-doxxing Connor does) about Connor stalking a girl and mood-swinging about his obsession with her. NO, IF CONNOR BIBLE IS EVER HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR HIS BEHAVIOR, IT'S BECAUSE OF THOSE DAMNED KIWIS!

Connor has made it quite clear that he is incapable of accepting blame for his actions and opinions and whenever he does accept blame, it's simple a ploy to try to garner pity.

Frankly I feel that if Connor were to ever actually start the road to recovery he'd have to learn to accept fault and stop blaming others. It's truly his first step and it's a monumental one at that. It would mean he'd accept that failure is inevitable for everyone, including himself, but it's not the end of the world either. I'm sure everyone here can agree failure is a bittersweet feeling, but it just makes the feeling of accomplishment that much more satisfying when we achieve our goals.

But no doubt we're going to experience another dozen or so meltdowns where it's the Kiwi Farms fault, it's all us women's fault, it's the minorities fault, it's the mods fault for not "freeing" him. Connor is a broken record and its his own fault.

 

[Handsome Pete]

Buried in the darkest depths of my hard drive, I have three deeply shameful folders. One is dedicated to funny Chris-related content. One is for Deagle Nation. And the third is for general lolcow shenanigans (and corgi gifs) that were funny enough to save.

Thanks to @Smutley's tireless research, @BOLDYSPICY!'s art, and Connor's inability to recognize Nol in a wig, I now have a fourth folder.

 

[HG 400]

Connor is a whiny fat faggot.

 

[Ti-99/4A]

I see that EdgeBot2000 changed his pattern slightly. Today was supposed to be "Hey, I know it's barely been 48 hours, but I've TOTALLY CHANGED GUYS!" day. He skipped those posts and went straight to whining.

 

[Smutley]

Boy I'm still jazzed our little boy came back to visit! In celebration, here is Part 28 of Wrong Planet

Spoiler: Theme song to this post is...

One of my favorite styles of posts that Connor does are ones with a lack of self awareness. They are equal parts cringy and hilarious

Spoiler

I must be reading this wrong... is Connor saying his parents are yelling at him for the insurance premiums going up, or that he couldn't do his work because his parents being pissed about their rates getting raised upset him so much?

Spoiler

Here's the final result of five years of being insufferable Connor - even if this post is true, I still sympathize with your mother and agree with every thing she has said. And if this is all made up, this is seriously the worst thing you can imagine?

Spoiler

Hehehehe... is this the only class you were taking that semester?

Spoiler

Connor and Lefty Make a Porno

Spoiler

Ha ha yeah okay spazz

Spoiler

Oh shit guys I think Connor might be moving out of his parents house!

Spoiler

Okay it's official: Connor's only friend has to be an imaginary friend he stares at in the mirror.

You know what HE does most of the time? He sits on his ass in a triple XL shirt and boxers eating junk food and watching stupid videos on YouTube. All. Day. Long. He has no initiative to improve his life, he has no endgame, and he has no drive to accomplish goals. In short: he's the biggest bum that I know.

Spoiler

A couple of pages ago, I posted a Cracked article about how misery can cut you off at the knees and prevent you from acting to better yourself.
This is it: http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-reasons-misery-shockingly-addictive/

Read it. Then read it again.

So I've got some bad news for you, friend...

Spoiler

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-regular-guys-ruin-their-first-impression-with-women/

I know he's dressed in this picture, but pretend he's shirtless and his skin is all wrinkly like a Shar-Pei. Try to contain your giggling

Spoiler

Sorry @Dynastia but Connor has proven you COMPLETELY WRONG. Check &/or m8 bich

Spoiler

I wish he had said "house of pain" so I could have linked one of their songs instead

Spoiler

Don't worry guys, all those awful posts from the last thread? Connor came back and apologized for it, everything is cool. Interesting new excuse though: This time he was really "stressed" about taking a 2 credit College Life Skills class

Spoiler

ARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH A PICTURE OF CONNOR SMILINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Spoiler

There are five claims in this post. This is the only one that is true: "I have strong convictions and beliefs most boys my age wouldn't hang on to"

Spoiler

Amazing that a post that starts off with such promise could crash harder than the Hindenburg

Spoiler

 

[Cosmos]

I see that EdgeBot2000 changed his pattern slightly. Today was supposed to be "Hey, I know it's barely been 48 hours, but I've TOTALLY CHANGED GUYS!" day. He skipped those posts and went straight to whining.

Modes of Connor aka EdgeBot2000 (in no particular order):

• "I've changed guys, I've REALLY changed! I know it's been barely 48 hours, but I've reflected on what everyone's told me and I've turned over a new leaf! I even wrote 10 words today! PRAISE ME!!!"
• "@Null, JUST NUKE MY ACCOUNT YOU GUTLESS MOTHERFUCKER!!"
• "Why should I do anything when all I'll do is FAAAAAAAAIIIILLLLL????"
• "Fuck you degenerate lowlifes, at least I don't waste all my time on this website. You're all pathetic trolls. I'll just kill myself, isn't that what you want? Just try me, motherfucker."
• "NO BUT I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO HATE WOMEN BECAUSE THE GIRLS IN MY SCHOOL THOUGHT I WAS WEIRD FOR STALKING THIS GIRL AND DIDN'T WANT TO SUCK MY DICK. WOMEN ARE LITERALLY SCUM AND ONLY EXIST TO MAKE MY LIFE MISERABLE. ALSO FUCK ADOPTION."
• "*insert creepy shit about bellybuttons and Molly Ringwald*"
• "I've changed guys, I've REALLY changed! I know it's been barely 24 hours, but I've reflected on what everyone's told me and I've turned over a new leaf! I even wrote 12 words today! PRAISE ME!!!"

 

[Sonic Hoo]

Modes of Connor aka EdgeBot2000 (in no particular order):

• "I've changed guys, I've REALLY changed! I know it's been barely 48 hours, but I've reflected on what everyone's told me and I've turned over a new leaf! I even wrote 10 words today! PRAISE ME!!!"
• "@Null, JUST NUKE MY ACCOUNT YOU GUTLESS MOTHERFUCKER!!"
• "Why should I do anything when all I'll do is FAAAAAAAAIIIILLLLL????"
• "Fuck you degenerate lowlifes, at least I don't waste all my time on this website. You're all pathetic trolls. I'll just kill myself, isn't that what you want? Just try me, motherfucker."
• "NO BUT I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO HATE WOMEN BECAUSE THE GIRLS IN MY SCHOOL THOUGHT I WAS WEIRD FOR STALKING THIS GIRL AND DIDN'T WANT TO SUCK MY DICK. WOMEN ARE LITERALLY SCUM AND ONLY EXIST TO MAKE MY LIFE MISERABLE. ALSO FUCK ADOPTION."
• "*insert creepy shit about bellybuttons and Molly Ringwald*"
• "I've changed guys, I've REALLY changed! I know it's been barely 24 hours, but I've reflected on what everyone's told me and I've turned over a new leaf! I even wrote 12 words today! PRAISE ME!!!"

You forgot something.