حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Rammspieler]

Dogedamn, if only I could show Connor's posts to some people on another certain forum and ask them why is he undateable, the irony would be lost on 95% of them.

 

[Handsome Pete]

View attachment 16306

Still missing that certain something...

 

[Ti-99/4A]

Modes of Connor aka EdgeBot2000 (in no particular order):

• "I've changed guys, I've REALLY changed! I know it's been barely 48 hours, but I've reflected on what everyone's told me and I've turned over a new leaf! I even wrote 10 words today! PRAISE ME!!!"
• "@Null, JUST NUKE MY ACCOUNT YOU GUTLESS MOTHERFUCKER!!"
• "Why should I do anything when all I'll do is FAAAAAAAAIIIILLLLL????"
• "Fuck you degenerate lowlifes, at least I don't waste all my time on this website. You're all pathetic trolls. I'll just kill myself, isn't that what you want? Just try me, motherfucker."
• "NO BUT I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO HATE WOMEN BECAUSE THE GIRLS IN MY SCHOOL THOUGHT I WAS WEIRD FOR STALKING THIS GIRL AND DIDN'T WANT TO SUCK MY DICK. WOMEN ARE LITERALLY SCUM AND ONLY EXIST TO MAKE MY LIFE MISERABLE. ALSO FUCK ADOPTION."
• "*insert creepy shit about bellybuttons and Molly Ringwald*"
• "I've changed guys, I've REALLY changed! I know it's been barely 24 hours, but I've reflected on what everyone's told me and I've turned over a new leaf! I even wrote 12 words today! PRAISE ME!!!"

Addendum:

• That movie reference is irrelevant because of w, x, y and no one should aspire to be z.
• Masturbation
• Those posts were YEARS ago. Proceeds to post something nearly identical 10 minutes later.
• So i'm supposed to settle for a typical life that 99% of the world had to live at one time?

 

[Lunachu]

Funny shoops aside the picture of Connor smiling is much better than his usual pouty mopey expressions. He should try smiling more often it might help him find some friends.

 

[Cosmos]

Still missing that certain something...
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I propose that we make this photo Connor's new icon.

 

[RetardBus]

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DAWN OF THE FINAL DAY
24 hours remain

"Sayonara, assholes."

 

[lolwut]

Buried in the darkest depths of my hard drive, I have three deeply shameful folders. One is dedicated to funny Chris-related content. One is for Deagle Nation. And the third is for general lolcow shenanigans (and corgi gifs) that were funny enough to save.

Thanks to @Smutley's tireless research, @BOLDYSPICY!'s art, and Connor's inability to recognize Nol in a wig, I now have a fourth folder.

I too have a dark and terrible Kiwi Folder on my computer. It is filled with the reaction images I spam the Farms with.

Here's one summarizing my thoughts on Conner's last hissy fit:

 

[Hi I Am From Page 6]

Self-hatred is useless. It can be useful to hate aspects of yourself, but if you hate yourself, where's the incentive to change? You have to like yourself enough to think that you're worth the effort of changing yourself into a better person.

 

[FramerGirl420]

Spoiler: Don't look if you want to sleep tonight

EDIT:

Spoiler: Animated Version

Everything on my body clenched.

....everything

 

[The Knife's Husbando]

Damn, @The Knife sounds like a fucking badass.

Guess you guys are edgelords in a different, More positive way then huh?

I'm honestly not trying to be Edgelordy or a braggart. I'm just rubbing Connor's face in things he'll never have if he doesn't change, and honestly trying my best to piss him off.

I'm trying a new angle. They say the first step to training a mule is to hit him on the head with a 2x4.

 

[Overcast]

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What has science done?? D:

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

>le see @Smutley 's post
>"Aww, Connor smiling can't be THAT bad. He might even look better when he smiles."
>le click spoiler tab

 

[Roger Rabbit]

Connor makes TJ Church look like he has perfect dental health.

 

[Squealer]

>le see @Smutley 's post
>"Aww, Connor smiling can't be THAT bad. He might even look better when he smiles."
>le click spoiler tab
View attachment 16334
View attachment 16333

?me loves ferrets. / me worries for connor

 

[Cosmos]

Connor makes TJ Church look like he has perfect dental health.

Spoiler: I'm so sorry

Nah.

 

[Yog-Spergoth]

I'm honestly not trying to be Edgelordy or a braggart. I'm just rubbing Connor's face in things he'll never have if he doesn't change, and honestly trying my best to piss him off.

I'm trying a new angle. They say the first step to training a mule is to hit him on the head with a 2x4.

Cool. New plan. We'll good-cop, bad-cop him.

Bring lots of 2x4's, bro.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

@Connor calm the fuck down and get on teamspeak and we can help you find a new therapist in your area

He never did this, did he. Not that I'm surprised, but. . .

 

[Squealer]

He never did this, did he. Not that I'm surprised, but. . .

I think he's grounded from ts3.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

I know he's dressed in this picture, but pretend he's shirtless and his skin is all wrinkly like a Shar-Pei. Try to contain your giggling

Spoiler

View attachment 16281

Other than the Shar-Pei shirt, he doesn't look half-bad. He actually looks like a grown man in this picture. 5/10 might go straight for.

I think he's grounded from ts3.

. . .by his mom, or?

 

[Squealer]

. . .by his mom, or?

Ask the ts3 regulars. I heard from them. They should just ground his internet too.