حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 125 13.1%
  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.7%
  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 528 55.3%
  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 228 23.9%

  • Total voters
    954
Is it just me or was Connor trying to trollshield with that whole "LMAO LOOK AT THIS FAT UGLY HAMBEAST WHO KEEPS TRYING TO TALK TO ME" bullshit? It's like how he kept bringing up his "retarded" and "papist" (I seriously can't get over that) """"friend"""" who is allegedly more of a tool than Connor is. Connor kept trying to throw him under the bus so that we would laugh at him instead. That's the vibe I'm getting from this girl, who's only crime is wanting to talk to Connor (SHE'S LITERALLY A STALKER ZOMG).

It worked for about a page, maybe two. Frankly I find it an entirely irrelevant point, besides. It has about as much an affect on the state of Connor than the colour of his ketchup.
 
There are still portions that need filling. I'll do an internship at the library when it warms up.

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Imagine the horror of working indoors in a library when it is a mere 49 degrees outside. You will have to go outside on your way there and on your way back. How chilling. It's like having to endure 50 Nazi death camps and any society that would force people to volunteer in such conditions cannot truly be called civilized.
 
As a person taking math classes in the 4000-level, this... made me want to cry.
If I offended anyone taking algebra classes in college, I'm sorry. I probably don't have a right to speak about how hard college is. But for Connor to have this as his only class and claim to be "busy" with it is absolutely ridiculous.
 
You threaten my family, you're going to be in a world of pain.
EVEN LEVELS DROPPING TO INSUFFICENT LEVELS. CAN'T
1.) You think your family is the devil, why react so strongly unless your been shitting on your family for pity points?
2.) You think people are seriously threatening your family here? Here?! The fucking Kiwi Farms?
3.) You? Intimidating?
Top.
Kek.
 
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Imagine the horror of working indoors in a library when it is a mere 49 degrees outside. You will have to go outside on your way there and on your way back. How chilling. It's like having to endure 50 Nazi death camps and any society that would force people to volunteer in such conditions cannot truly be called civilized.
To be fair, a lot of southerners freak when the temperature is below Zha Zha Gabor's age.
Though I'll ask @Connor, what do you do when it gets freezing there, by freezing I mean below 32 degrees Farhinhight.

Off topic but...
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It gonna be 30 here tomorrow!! Fire up the grill, it's barbaque weather!
 
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Why is he so protective of his family all the sudden? didn't he go on and on about how they were worse than Hitler on Wrong Planet all the time?

Because, surprise surprise, they actually aren't, and he knows this. I'm willing to wager that if they got wind of his utterly toxic opinions of them on this site or any other, Connor would be in for the bruised backside to end all bruised backsides. Connor is suddenly throwing his defensive card into play because he knows full well that his family doesn't come anywhere close to the vitriolic menagerie he's made them out to be, and should word get out, they may opt to--The horror!--Restrict or remove his internet access, and demand that his thankless self march to the nearest application kiosk and begin filling out forms to strike up minimum-wage labour.

Edit: This is base-less speculation and I have come to this conclusion on no factual evidence whatsoever. I credit this assumption to sperging in its entirety.
 
So being new on this site and curious to learn of the ways to get into the off topic threads on Google I stumbled upon this kid telling a Website how sad he was that he had become a hit on this site. I was just curious to how that happened with out having to read 176 pages of post
 
Well. It's happened guys. It's finally happened.

Wrong Planet, Part 30 - the Final Part

Don't worry Connor is still alive and he's much improved and super positive - November 2013
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Thank god Connor came here to sperg about a girl that likes him, because he said the same thing on Wrong Planet. Much different reception there then here, though. (Why does he ressurect this thread 5 months after his last post though??)
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But don't worry! Connor posts this a week after complaining a girl actually likes him
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Great pitch black nihilistic cynical offensive humor there, Connor
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Dang I hate when I post something in a previous update and find stuff that could have fit in it thematically. Here's another sperg session about writing an adoption play for an old high school teacher that he will never do and never shut up about.
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Hahah what? no seriously what?
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Throw in a mention of a community college campus and an RCA recorder, and this could be a copy/paste thread
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I guess Connor really does belong on Wrong Planet because he certainly isn't from ours! HA HA HA! I'll be here all week, tip your waitresses, try the veal
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Just as a reminder: Connor has been thinking about Alphaboy since middle school. This is as far as he's gotten with it.
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Just for perspective: Chris has access to his own tugboat. Connor is so low functioning his parents don't even let him have his SSDI because they know he'll spend it on fetish videos and Godzilla films
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"Thoughts While Masturbating"
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Whoever said Connor feeds on attention is correct. Every time he whines he gets fatter
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Connor Bible of Port Royal South Carolina masturbates three times a day instead of writing a resume or learning how to drive (this episodes Special Guest Star is our old friend Mr Bigmouth!)
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And it's fitting the last post in this series is Connor's last post on Wrong Planet. Sometimes things come full circle.
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And that's it. We're done. There's no more milking to be had, no more lulz. With this conclusion Connor is tapped out. Which should be nearly as much a relief to him as it is to me for not having to do this any-
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OH GOD DAMN IT
 
None of us remember Emily because YOU HAVE LITERALLY NEVER MENTIONED HER UNTIL TODAY.
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Kid, you can't even trollshield right.

He can't even trollshield right.

I'm guessing that he tried to pass it off as "lol, remember this chick?" instead of "Look at this new thing!!!" in an attempt to make the shielding less obvious, but it backfired because none of us knew what the fuck he was talking about. Shoulda stuck with that "friend" of yours, Connor.

Also, how pathetic is it that Connor keeps trying to throw other people under the bus instead of doing the adult thing and trying to work on improving his life? If Connor wants us to praise him, literally all he has to do is get a job at the library. Baby steps and all that. Instead, he resorts to turning people in his life into sacrificial lambs in order to appease our "bloodlust."
 
To be fair, a lot of southerners freak when the temperature is below Zha Zha Gabor's age.
Though I'll ask @Connor, what do you do when it gets freezing there, by freezing I mean below 32 degrees Farhinhight.

Off topic but...
View attachment 16432 It gonna be 30 here tomorrow!! Fire up the grill, it's barbaque weather!

If he's bitching about the weather where he lives and using it as an excuse not to go to work, how about he try Michigan weather?

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Guess what? Even in this weather people still go to work unless the roads are really, really bad but still there are plenty that risk going to work for some moolah in bad weather conditions.
 
So being new on this site and curious to learn of the ways to get into the off topic threads on Google I stumbled upon this kid telling a Website how sad he was that he had become a hit on this site. I was just curious to how that happened with out having to read 176 pages of post

I would read @Smutley's posts. They're informative, and damn funny to boot.
 
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