حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[harvey dirdban]

Wait, how can you be sure that's Conn-

aspiring fiction writer

Oh.

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

I checked out of the connor thread for a month. Came back and read the last 20 pages to see if he followed through on his promises to improve. Still no resume, still no short story that he promised to write in 20 days, still using suicide as a mechanism to gain sympathy, still edgy and combative. Autism... autism never changes.

I missed about 80 pages, did he ever explain his blatant racism in his works?

 

[Ronald Gaygun]

I checked out of the connor thread for a month. Came back and read the last 20 pages. Still no resume, still no short story that he promised to write in 20 days, still using suicide as a mechanism to gain sympathy, still edgy and combative. Autism... autism never changes.

I missed about 80 pages, did he ever explain his excessive racism in his works?

Some black lady cut in line in front of him once.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

I checked out of the connor thread for a month. Came back and read the last 20 pages. Still no resume, still no short story that he promised to write in 20 days, still using suicide as a mechanism to gain sympathy, still edgy and combative. Autism... autism never changes.

I missed about 80 pages, did he ever explain his excessive racism in his works?

I don't blame you for checking out. :/
The most we've been able to get out of him is one time a black girl cut in line while he was doing voc rehab.

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

Some black lady cut in line in front of him once.

Her?

 

[nad7155]

what exactly do you do all day?

He whines on the internet.

This is not just autism.

He has serious issues.

I feel bad for laughing at him, but I have my own issues.

 

[Locksnap]

I thought it was a little interesting a quarter of Connors facebook friends (two) were those dang darkies. I wonder who the catlick is?

 

[lolwut]

I thought it was a little interesting a quarter of Connors facebook friends (two) were those dang darkies. I wonder who the catlick is?

I'm more interested in this gentleman. Look at that beard, goddamn!

 

[nad7155]

This is kind of why I feel bad about this thread.

 

[CrispyBacon]

I've been having some motivation problems recently, so @Pancake said I should read through this thread.

Only read the first 20 pages so far, but I don't feel so bad about myself anymore. At least I know I can never be as bad as @Connor, so I've got that going for me, which is nice.

 

[EI 903]

How should I organize it? Kind of new at Wiki Writing. Should I just do stuff like "Connor and Molly Ringwald", "Connor and Writing", and "Trivia" for now?

If you haven't already, start a thread here: https://kiwifarms.net/forums/wiki-discussion.47/

 

[Alex Krycek]

His profile picture has the same color scheme as the cover of 'Loveless' by My Bloody Valentine, easily one of my favorite albums. I don't know if I can't help but remember that picture when i see the album after all the entertainment he's provided.

 

[Smutley]

Gentle Kiwis, today's post is brought to you by Kaiju

Toho Kingdom, Part 1

Connor, for once, does NOT announce who he is in his first post as a new user, a reviled user, or a ban evader. Still has the username "Connor" though. Can't win them all.

Spoiler

Since I can't find this post in the thread proper, I have to assume Connor or a mod deleted it for vaguebooking. I can't wait to cross reference what was going on around November 17th, 2012. I think it was a botched suicide attempt

Spoiler

I bet if Godzilla had cut in front of him to get his retard check, Connor wouldn't have such a high opinion of him.

Spoiler

Not even fooling, this venture into Connor's life has taught me a new word: Skreonk. It's the Onomatopoeia for the sound Kaiju make when they roar as was written in some 90's Dark Horse comic. Nerds started using it as a synonym for Fuck. Keep that in mind as you read Connor's posts.

Spoiler

This isn't really all THAT funny, but I love to pretend Connor has a Masters in cybersecurity and spotting blackhat related internet activities

Spoiler

"They said I could grow up to be anything, so I grew up and became nothing."

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The first post about Redesigning Eva on Toho Kingdom. I'm surprised it took him this long to do it, but also that it took him 3 months to crosspost this from Wrong Planet.

Spoiler

These posts are played out by now, but I never fail to laugh when I see Connor giving advice on writing.

Spoiler

"I guess you could say my dreams are directed by the afterbirth of Alfalfa's pregnancy with a surrogate baby by David Lynch & David Cage, raised by his godparent Lars Von Trier. It's cool if you want to touch me, just form an orderly line please."

Spoiler

It doesn't fucking matter WHAT a movie is, oh my god, fuck it hold on I'm going to write a Connor wishcast post:

If a Home Alone movie were remade by a modern director...

Who would your choices be? Despite what this thread title would lead you to believe, this doesn't really have anything to do with the upcoming remake that was just leaked to Variety. This is strictly wish-fulfillment.

Kevin - Michael Madsen -- I know what you're thinking but he's such a legend they could use that tech that went to waste in Benjamin Button and make him look 12, but have the bad-ass swagger of Mr. Blonde himself for the chase and eventually payoff fist fight with the invaders.
Mom - Molly Ringwald -- She's had an amazing career in The Stand miniseries and some of The Breakfast Club. In this version I think it will be a lot darker humor (more towards pitch black) and she has the acting ability to play a hot sociopathic, bipolar, alcoholic, child abusing mom who intentionally leaves her son behind to be raped by molesters she hired.
Harry - James Woods -- Good God, YES. nothing else needed to be said
Marv - Macaulay Culkin -- some inspired stunt casting but he's got that haunted meth head look to him... four words: wife beater, knife, smile.
Stanley Kubrick - I WISH!!!
Paul Verhoeven - At first I thought maybe Cronenberg but I don't think this would make a good project for body horror, but more a dark psychological action thriller with only a few moments of horror in it. Verhoeven could give it that satirical edge that really ties the work, as a whole, together with the various layers of social commentary about the sudden right-wing resurgence of the 80's American Dream

"You only WISH you were Home Alone"

Spoiler

Holy shit. I'm fucking stunned. Connor joined a forum role playing game as himself, lists his entire history and list of interests, doxxes himself as a formerly banned user, and gives me another 200-ish posts to wade through goddamn it

Spoiler

See my post above

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I love when he posts on forums full of normal's because they don't even talk to him half the time. Also, take ntoe of Connor making writing a Godzilla fan fiction sound like getting hired to direct a movie

Spoiler

lol wut

Spoiler

 

[Silver]

I lol'd so hard at your Home Alone re-casting. It's so Connor.

 

[DN 420]

the fact that connor has the ego to write in third person like that is fucking incredible. i can only wonder what goes on in that severely autistic mind.

 

[Chipmunk's Bounty]

Hold on, is Connor's Godzilla fanfiction anywhere? I may be interested in reading it.

 

[Locksnap]

i can only wonder what goes on in that severely autistic mind.

 

[Koba]

Hold on, is Connor's Godzilla fanfiction anywhere? I may be interested in reading it.

...

Is this fucker a Godzilla fan too?!?(I'm a huge Godzilla fan btw)

LEAVE THE KING OF THE MONSTERS ALONE, YOU FREAK!!!

Spoiler

 

[Xarpho]

Man, as of December 2012, Connor's talking about doing good for others not expecting anything in return, losing pounds...what happened to that kid?

 

[Rosso]

Hold on, is Connor's Godzilla fanfiction anywhere? I may be interested in reading it.

I doubt it, that would require writing.