حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 125 13.1%
  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.7%
  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 528 55.3%
  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 228 23.9%

  • Total voters
    954
Honestly, I don't think Connor's story concept is a bad one. The idea of a person doing something drastic to become their "dream self" sounds interesting.

However, by the looks of his current work, he seems to borrow, if not outright steal, elements from other stories instead of giving his own unique take on things. And that's not even mentioning the amateurish writing.

I guess for the sake of fairness I have to say that most writers do tend to start off 'cribbing' stylistic elements from other writers/works of art that they like. It's most common when a writer hasn't developed their 'voice' yet.

But that shouldn't happen after like two years of writing, or be greatly reduced. The fact that it's still happening shows just how much he doesn't write.

tl;dr: He likes the idea of being a writer, but misses that being a writer requires fucking writing.
 
I guess for the sake of fairness I have to say that most writers do tend to start off 'cribbing' stylistic elements from other writers/works of art that they like. It's most common when a writer hasn't developed their 'voice' yet.

But that shouldn't happen after like two years of writing, or be greatly reduced. The fact that it's still happening shows just how much he doesn't write.

tl;dr: He likes the idea of being a writer, but misses that being a writer requires fucking writing.

The way I like to see things, most everything has been done before when it comes to any kind of medium. It's hard to come up with something TRULY original. Some of my favorite games, shows, books, ect. All have elements that have been used countless times already. But, they're still able to become unique and memorable without having to heavily rely on old tropes.

Their basis may be familiar, but they still come off as something that hasn't been done before because the people who made them are skilled, well read, do a lot of research, ect.

An example I can think of was the development behind Agro, the horse from Shadow of the Colossus. From what I remember reading, the creators of the game actually went horse back riding to get an idea of how a horse actually acts and moves around. They also made the decision to have Agro act independently even while riding her. You can steer her, stop her, and get her to go faster, but you don't directly control her.

As far as I know, not very many other games, if any handle horse riding like that.

Sorry, for going a bit off-topic, but this thread has made me think a lot about this kind of thing. :P
 
The way I like to see things, most everything has been done before when it comes to any kind of medium. It's hard to come up with something TRULY original. Some of my favorite games, shows, books, ect. All have elements that have been used countless times already. But, they're still able to become unique and memorable without having to heavily rely on old tropes.

Their basis may be familiar, but they still come off as something that hasn't been done before because the people who made them are skilled, well read, do a lot of research, ect.

An example I can think of was the development behind Agro, the horse from Shadow of the Colossus. From what I remember reading, the creators of the game actually went horse back riding to get an idea of how a horse actually acts and moves around. They also made the decision to have Agro act independently even while riding her. You can steer her, stop her, and get her to go faster, but you don't directly control her.

As far as I know, not very many other games, if any handle horse riding like that.

Sorry, for going a bit off-topic, but this thread has made me think a lot about this kind of thing. :P

Haha, no argument here dude. You're absolutely right that pretty much all fiction is based on pre-existing tropes and things. I've always thought that it was unhealthy to be so super concerned about originality that you couldn't express the story you want to tell. After all, the way you choose your tropes, how you approach them, and how you mix them is essentially what style IS.

I was kinda talking more about writing in general. Lots of people do take stylistic elements from their heroes, and there's nothing wrong with that. People write like the people who inspired them to write. But, for early writers, particularly 'micro' writers, who write scene-to-scene as opposed to plotline-first-foremost, do sort-of have 'tells' as to which writers they're borrowing from. It does tend to taper off though as people find their own voice. Borrowing stylistic elements from another writer is fine, but it really hinders the stories you can tell because that's not your voice, and not how you really flow. It's a matter of practice, really.

Also, awesome Shadow of the Colossus trivia. One of my favorite games, haha.
 
What the hell kind of name is Evangeline? Conturd must really want to be Shinji...
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Dat bayou firefly/star romance.
 
tl;dr: He likes the idea of being a writer, but misses that being a writer requires fucking writing.

He seems to be in love with the idea of being a writer. He wants to come across as clever and intellectual and smarter than you, but it's all a facade. It rings hollow because he lacks passion and drive... and talent.

If he wants to be a writer so bad, he should at least go after an English major, and at least take three classes a semester. He should read more and expand his tastes beyond 2edgy4u fair.

He probably won't, though. That'd involve effort.
 
I was curious if Connor had an IMDb profile because he's such a movie sperg. Didn't even have to search. First page of the Molly Ringwald message board :lol:

D-... Did you just give me more posts to get through?

Uuuuuuugggghhhhhh!!!!!!

:heart-full:

edit: omg you weren't lying I hate you so much Telegramsamo
 
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Honestly, I don't think Connor's story concept is a bad one. The idea of a person doing something drastic to become their "dream self" sounds interesting.

That's what i used to think too. Creative idea that was just written terribly by a fifteen year old who is too afraid/lazy to change anything about the story, even years after first writing it.

The longer I look at R.E. though, the more other stories I remembered, that used the exact same premise. So not even the concept is that creative, until Connor decides to do something different with it - gives the story his own spin. At the moment the story seems to go less in the direction "interesting new concept the likes we haven't seen yet" and leans more towards "Ginger Snaps but with SciFi instead of werewolves".
 
Outside my window, everything is white. Some may say it's snow, but to me, it looks like the settling of radioactive fallout. You know what that means.

Toho Kingdom, Part 3.


"Godzilla was born of radiation, and was created as a way to explore the cultural impact concerning the atomic bombs. But perhaps Godzilla also likes Huey Lews and the News? Maybe he would agree to be redesigned? There are many interpretations available that's why he's so cool."

"What if... the next Godzilla movie focused on the humans, and there wasn't any Kaiju in it at all? I'm a fucking Genius."
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Connor is correct - being a lazy asshole defines who he is as a person.
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I think I left out a lot of Connor and God content because there was nothing particularly amusing about it. But don't worry, from now on I plan to bring you a glut of unamusing content! Also, Connor believed in God in 2012.
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Unfortunately, Connor might have finally doxxed his retarded friend. He had done so well.
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One of my favorite things ever is finding where Connor copy/pastes posts between sites. Here, he offers advise on "doing something" - and after being ignored for three hours he takes to Wrong Planet to post the exact same thing.
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Connor's Godzilla fanfiction was called "Shattered Ethos", but either it never existed or it's been pulled down because I can't find anything about it outside of this thread.
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Yes, you read that right. Connor's Godzilla fanfic was inspired by Rambo
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oh my god why does he keep bringing this dream up????
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According to Connor, he watched The Breakfast Club in December of 2013. Even though he's been sperging about it for years prior, I'm going to assume he didn't finish it until then.
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Schools in session, nugs. Today's lesson? Nihilism.
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Just a monster in the ghetto (today's Soundtrack is from this post)
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In my mind Godzilla is throwing bones, shooting hoops, fuckin' Kim, and saw no ghetto birds over Monster Island.
 
So the Godzilla-without-Godzilla movie, recast as a cops-and-robbers flick, would, according to Connor, "have legs in the right hands."

Oh, Connor. Trying to use slightly dated movie-industry jargon ("to have legs") and then not even noticing how badly that clashes with the rest of the sentence. No wonder he can't complete a Godzilla fanfic. He can't even do a forum post without stuffing up. Or maybe he's moved on from bellybuttons and just wants to put his hands on Molly's legs now? No, no, that way lies madness.
 
Well, @telegramsamo has uncovered Connor's sperging at IMDB, further increasing @Smutley's work load. I thought it might be nice to give Smutly a hand by collecting some of Connor's IMDB rants.

Connor's IMDB profile. Notice a theme?
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This seems to be one of his first posts. Naturally, it's about adoption.
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Ringwaldian drama. wow :story:
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Connor rants about Juno.
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Connor on Magnolia. Never seen this movie, but judging from the IMDB user's responses, I'm guessing Connor's just being a grimdark dumbass as usual.
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Vanessa in Juno is apparently a witch now. She's Connor's very own }:P
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"I wouldn't even put up with Vanessa. She'd be nothing but a glorified babysitter to me."
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IMDB users call out Connor for being creepy. Also, Connor doesn't know shit about famous serial killers, proving once again that his obsessions with a subject doesn't correspond to knowledge of a subject.
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Burned.
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That's what i used to think too. Creative idea that was just written terribly by a fifteen year old who is too afraid/lazy to change anything about the story, even years after first writing it.

The longer I look at R.E. though, the more other stories I remembered, that used the exact same premise. So not even the concept is that creative, until Connor decides to do something different with it - gives the story his own spin. At the moment the story seems to go less in the direction "interesting new concept the likes we haven't seen yet" and leans more towards "Ginger Snaps but with SciFi instead of werewolves".

The thing is, I've read shit that was written by extremely bright, talented fifteen-year-olds. It's rarely very sophisticated or very original, but some of it is very, very good. You can see that they've read a lot, have a lot of native talent, and are taking the first steps to develop their own voice and style. It sounds almost insulting, but they remind me of how newly-hatched baby cobras are born as venomous as they will be at maturity, but haven't learned how to bite yet; they just imitate striking. One of these days, it's not going to be cute anymore--they're going to be deadly. You have to respect that kind of power, even in miniature.

@Yog-Spergoth mentioned the difference between copying stylistic elements and flat-out plagiarism, and that's something I've also noticed about Connor. He's not a sophisticated enough reader to understand the differents between style and story elements. It may be why he's stated that he doesn't consider what he did with Silence of the Lambs as plagiarism and talks about it like it's just an homage. It also may explain his reliance on TV Tropes for everything. In Connor's mind, TV Tropes seems to be a DIY story trove. All you have to do is stick together tropes like Lego, and magically you get a story at the end of it!
 
Connor on Magnolia. Never seen this movie, but judging from the IMDB user's responses, I'm guessing Connor's just being a grimdark dumbass as usual.
https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/connor5-png.16966/
I'm not gonna say Connor's interpretation of Magnolia is the complete opposite of the truth, but damn is it close. If there's a theme to the movie, it's about people who find themselves in a position where they have to drop their facades and express honest emotion, even if that's difficult.

Say, remember a few pages back when Connor was complaining about how he doesn't want to wear a (metaphorical) mask to impress everyone? Well here's a whole movie about people taking off those masks, and surprise! Connor's whining about it. A major director makes a film that actually agrees with Connor, and that's still not good enough for him.

But if he likes P.T. Anderson, he should check out There Will Be Blood. It's got some very interesting ideas about adoption.
 
Well, @telegramsamo has uncovered Connor's sperging at IMDB, further increasing @Smutley's work load. I thought it might be nice to give Smutly a hand by collecting some of Connor's IMDB rants.

Connor's IMDB profile. Notice a theme?

This seems to be one of his first posts. Naturally, it's about adoption.

Ringwaldian drama. wow :story:

Connor rants about Juno.
Connor on Magnolia. Never seen this movie, but judging from the IMDB user's responses, I'm guessing Connor's just being a grimdark dumbass as usual.

Vanessa in Juno is apparently a witch now. She's Connor's very own }:P

"I wouldn't even put up with Vanessa. She'd be nothing but a glorified babysitter to me."

IMDB users call out Connor for being creepy. Also, Connor doesn't know shit about famous serial killers, proving once again that his obsessions with a subject doesn't correspond to knowledge of a subject.

Burned.

You're doing God's work, Man in Black. I thank ya!

Did I see it right though, that he only has 2-ish pages of posts? That's a bit surprising, I'd have thought IMDB would be a place of great activity considering his interests.
 
Did I see it right though, that he only has 2-ish pages of posts? That's a bit surprising, I'd have thought IMDB would be a place of great activity considering his interests.

Just judging by the posted discussions he had on IMDB, that site seems to be a lot more contrarian than his WP hugbox. So i'd say that's the reason he isn't posting that much there - nobody stroking his ego or agreeing with him. I wonder whether he begged for his account to be deleted on there too.
 
It feels like he's trying to get at something with the whole Godzilla cops and robbers thing, but he just can't express it in a way that makes sense.


I've never seen the Godzilla movie in question, so who knows? Maybe it would be better without Godzilla. But he isn't really giving evidence as to why.
 
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