Community Munchausen's by Internet (Malingerers, Munchies, Spoonies, etc) - Feigning Illnesses for Attention

[Mako_Spark]

Mild PL, but as a child I was in the backseat of a car with six geese in sacks in the trunk (my parents were told that putting the geese in nice dark hessian sacks would make them calm for the long trip to their new home. That is not what happened.)

After that three hours of sheer terror, I would honestly move house just to avoid living near geese, no way in hell I'd live with one.

 

[Free Pancakes]

Mild PL, but as a child I was in the backseat of a car with six geese in sacks in the trunk (my parents were told that putting the geese in nice dark hessian sacks would make them calm for the long trip to their new home. That is not what happened.)

After that three hours of sheer terror, I would honestly move house just to avoid living near geese, no way in hell I'd live with one.

This is the most entertaining and therefore valuable powerlevel I've ever seen

 

[Queen of Quetiapina]

Mild PL, but as a child I was in the backseat of a car with six geese in sacks in the trunk (my parents were told that putting the geese in nice dark hessian sacks would make them calm for the long trip to their new home. That is not what happened.)

After that three hours of sheer terror, I would honestly move house just to avoid living near geese, no way in hell I'd live with one.

A whisky distillery near me used to employ guard geese, so I have no doubt about their potential for animosity.

I also have so many questions about the logistics of putting a nappy on a large bird.

These questions are such a good distraction from Paige's infected lines and imminent death.

 

[Kate Farms Shill]

Ok I've been on this thread a while and haven't seen an answer so must ask- What the actual fuck is up with SJ and her exceptional pronunciation of things, like "dawrgs" etc? It's like nails on a chalkboard and I want to know lol.

She's from Queens. That is unfortunately how people from Queens talk.

SJ lived in Queens off-and-on for most of her life: she grew up there, lived there until she was in her teens and moved to Minnesota, then moved back there after high school. It has nothing to do with her being a mongoloid, either. My former roommate was a PhD and still said "chawrlklit" and "nawrseous."

Do you know how she gets the diaper on it? The logistics are confusing me.

I also have so many questions about the logistics of putting a nappy on a large bird.

Like this, apparently. Because I, too, had to google "how do you put a diaper on a goose?"

 

[Vanilla Donut]

This is all speculation but naturally I wanted to share my horrifying thoughts on how Paige achieved her ultimate munchie goal of certain death. Sorry about all the medfagging. I actually did try to cut it down, lol.

So I was curious and wanted to looked into Paige’s superbugs to see which ones she has and one is called ESBL (extended spectrum beta-lactamase). ESBL is one of the most common types of UTI’s we all get, and which of course Paige has a lot of because of her grotty as fuck SPC. It’s fairly harmless in urine and they’re starting to not bother to isolate patients with it now...except it can get really nasty if it gets into a wound or the blood stream which is generally when it becomes superbug material. She mentioned on her IG that it was originally in her bladder (duh) and SPC, and then also in her blood?

Her other superbug is Klebsiella pneumoniae (KP) and it can happen after using a urinary catheter for a long time. How it spread outside of her urinary tract, I don’t know, but I can take a guess. Am I completely off track here or is it possible that this munch is going to kill herself due to rubbing either urine or SPC discharge into IV access points, wounds and skin? Jesus. That’s almost up there with Kelly rubbing shit into her leg wounds, and even Kelly failed to give her sepsis.

I should note she’d also been in hospital for a very long time so it’s likely she’d be at least a carrier of some bug and maybe even get an infection or two but what’s happening to her is highly unusual, especially with the amount of times she’s had sepsis (assuming the number she’s stated is even half true). She was in a shared room at least at one point so the hospital can’t have been too worried about her being all that immunocompromised, because superbugs usually only colonise those who are compromised and need to be in isolation. But by my guess, it seems like she could have used all the dangers of a long term hospital stay to kill herself. Naaaasty.

Spoiler: All the bugs!

Spoiler: Shared room on day 140

Edit: TL; DR, she rubbed her UTI infected urine and discharge all over herself.

 

[Munchie_Minder]

I seriously wish I could post even half of what people send me about her. Some of it is just so batshit and yet there are receipts. But I do not blame them for not wanting to risk that she figures out who is talking to me because wow, what a nightmare she is.

Anyway. I finally got in touch with my beloved Jonzie leak and my god, it was worth the wait. I give you: the Jonzie DID/Multiple Personality Disorder saga (with a bonus "don't forget the time I almost died" pity party.)
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I am so glad people are comfortable talking shit about their friends to me. It truly warms the cockles of my heart when I get a text message screenshot that ends with "omg what a bitch, someone send this to Kate Farms Shill so she can put it on Kiwi Farms."

Edit to avoid double post:
The two latest dispatches from Our Lady of Perpetual Stupidity, Sarah-Jean Adolphus

Spoiler: prolific autism

-long scene of her feeding cats and panning across snow
-She's rocking back and forth with the camera while filming her opening monologue and I want to vomit.
-She only thinks she can handle 4-5 hours of work maximum per day, and this job allows her to be flexible, leave early and make it up another day, or go in later in the day when she's feeling better.
-Pulled her IV line because it won't flush. Getting a nurse to come back and put a new one in so she can keep on her schedule.
-Bloody bandaid reveal. WTF. She shows off where she took the line out and it's a "gusher"
-covertly filming starbucks run. Cut to her making a dumb face in the car. Cut to her talking in the bathroom complaining about customers' fragrance. She's working in her wheelchair and only made it two hours at work.
-They see me rollin'. They hatin'. Vlogs while rolling across the parking lot with her smart drive. No falls, alas.
-Glad she has an excuse to wear makeup again.
-Loud obnoxious yawning. Bed time.

Titled this next one "Don't forget I'm autistic!" OH BOY I know this is gonna be a chimpout.

-same day, apparently filmed between the makeup rant and bedtime.
-People always tell her to get psychiatric help
-She goes to a psychiatrist to get her migraine medications (is that normal?) and talks to them about her awrtism
-she filmed a car accident because she's autistic! She filmed a clip saying that she felt bad for the person who got in the accident, but it didn't film right so she just left it out, honest injun!
-Claims she didn't understand the tone of a comment criticizing her for gawking at the accident and filming it.
-Music isn't too loud, she's not disrespectful. She doesn't do negativity so she's just going to delete and block anyone who says anything less than 100% supportive.
-Asks her psych why she doesn't react like normal people. Can't possibly be that she's self centered and lacks empathy because of a personality disorder she's already been diagnosed with.
-All she does is Give Give Give! She never asks for money (lol she literally just posted begging for $40 for a non-profit emergency), she never even asks her dad for money for gas or to get a drink (until now she had no income and admit he paid for everything).
-She doesn't want people to think she's using autism as an excuse but she's going to use it as an excuse from now on. She doesn't see things like everyone else. You have to be respectful of this.
-She doesn't think she did anything wrong, it's just like watching the news or a professional photographer taking photos of people falling out of a burning building. Yeah, those people and news organizations get called vultures and told they're horrible for doing that. See: blowback from the New York Post publishing a picture of a guy seconds before he got hit by a train after someone pushed him on the tracks.
-Claims her doctor told her she just doesn't understand and it's not her fault.
-she's just not like everyone else!!! She knows she is a bitch and rude sometimes but this is different and you're not allowed to be mad because she has the awrtism and her psychiatrist "tested her without knowing she was tested" ... but told her she was being tested. And she failed! Clearly she awrtistic!

Jonzie using DID to let the part of her who wants to stay a kid forever be its own personality is maybe the best content I’ve seen this year. Hell ducking yah. Bring on the DID faking. Because when you can’t be responsible for your own self going and overdosing and you want to be a kid forever, why not?! So pumped. Jonzie leak we love you!

In mid-october she was claiming on patreon she hadn't left her bed in weeks and couldn't eat or drink without vomiting and needed to go to the ER. Thankfully people donated extra medical supplies.
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On instagram, posted pics of her out and about as well as a #sponsored post for a collar:
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And of course, still exploiting jaquie's death with the same photo she always posts. Because nothing says "I really care about and miss my best friend who i was always with!" like posting the same photo over and over again instead of bothering to find another one.
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Aww poor Jan Jan got the medical grade marijuana hyperemesis.

 

[Yutyrannus]

Ok I've been on this thread a while and haven't seen an answer so must ask- What the actual fuck is up with SJ and her exceptional pronunciation of things, like "dawrgs" etc? It's like nails on a chalkboard and I want to know lol.

Also the goose diaper thing, I just, I.....can't. Hw does one get a diaper on a goddam goose? They must be more domesticatable than I thought. Having one in the tub with you is just vile, like its germs getting all up in your body. It's gross but impressive, the munchies keep me interested!

Sorry to be autistic but well socialized domestic geese are surprisingly easy to deal with. Sometimes they come into rehab and are some of the easiest patients.

But jesus christ, bathing with one is repulsive.

 

[Maxie]

Sorry to be autistic but well socialized domestic geese are surprisingly easy to deal with. Sometimes they come into rehab and are some of the easiest patients.

But jesus christ, bathing with one is repulsive.

No shitty geese in the bath, yuck! My geese are fairly easy to work with and I have put diapers on them when they are babies if they get injured. I also eat geese I raise. I do have a spoiled chicken who likes to go to the feed store that wears a diaper while out. A simple disposable medical face mask works great for chickens. She does NOT live in the house. She is better behaved then any dog and all munchies. Hmmmm maybe I should try to win a Vog mask for her...

People with livestock as house pets is a whole different group of major weirdness. BTW pot belly pigs taste great.

 

[large_farva]

After seeing this service goose nonsense, I decided to have a little hashtag session on instagram.

we've got a chronic lyme warrior with a service pig


and this girl has whatever, but constantly making out with birds can't be good for you

 

[elliptical narcissist]

and this girl has whatever, but constantly making out with birds can't be good for you

Hell no it's not.

Quote from CDC

Be aware that poultry can shed Salmonella, Campylobacter, E. coli, avian influenza, and other germs in their droppings. Plan to wear gloves when cleaning bird cages and poultry houses, and wash your hands and equipment thoroughly with soap and water after you have any contact with the poultry or their environment.

 

[Maxie]

After seeing this service goose nonsense, I decided to have a little hashtag session on instagram.

we've got a chronic lyme warrior with a service pig
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and this girl has whatever, but constantly making out with birds can't be good for you

Service pot belly pig that's a year old? Funny since they keep growing until they are until they are 24-36 months old.

Puff the duck chick. Her original duck, Puff, died likely due to a neurological disorder. All ducks and geese with those puffs or tufts have a skull that isn't fully closed. It's a defect that comes with a lot of issues. Current duck had a broken leg that didn't get set properly so it uses a wheelchair . Plus she has a goose, all while she gets IVIG.

Big issue I have with people using unusual service animals is most of the animals need animal companions. Single ducks don't do well on their own. Just like what's her face with the service pony living in an apartment. It's cruel to force the animal to force it to live in an unnatural environment.

I'll have to see if I can track down the chick with ducks in her apartment who claimed all sorts of mold disorders in one of my duck groups. Gee what could one of the causes of mold be? Living with indoor water fowl.

No comment on kissing my birds...

 

[Pimpkin Pumpkin]

TIL Service geese are a thing.

Untitled Goose Game lied to me. Also, wtf munchies.

 

[Kate Farms Shill]

TIL Service geese are a thing.

Untitled Goose Game lied to me. Also, wtf munchies.

They're not. Under ADA service animals can only be a dog or a miniature horse in limited cases. These people are saying their animals are ESAs which don't have the same legal/public access rights (nor training requirements)

 

[lariumdreams]

Re: Sarah-Jean's speech patterns, it's called rhotic coloring. She's actually a dying breed of accent, believe it or not, apparently these kinds of strong NYC dialects are dying off because all of the fucking hipsters from the midwest are moving in.

Back to our munchies, Morgan McCastor is surprisingly tame right now, but never put it past her to go clawing for dem asspats.

 

[large_farva]

The first 60 seconds is SJ forcefully poking at and rubbing on the place her IV was removed last night.
I gave up there. Sorry, that - of all the nasty ass shit on this thread alone - grossed me the fuck out.

 

[Kate Farms Shill]

The first 60 seconds is SJ forcefully poking at and rubbing on the place her IV was removed last night.
I gave up there. Sorry, that - of all the nasty ass shit on this thread alone - grossed me the fuck out.

Gotchu fam. After Paige's cooch-eating bacteria and reading several detailed descriptions of how Amanda Winig purges, I can handle this dumb fuck for hours.

-Poking at her IV site and showing how it wasn't in right last night so she removed it.
-Collecting supplies for a new IV placement because the nurse is on her way to replace it. Showing off how much crap she wastes. reminds everyone that after two failed tries she has to go to the hospital to have it placed.
-goes to Walmart to return something because she bought the wrong size. It's 15º out.
-Vog mask in WalMart, no wheelchair or service dog, dances to 90s boy band music. Trying to build up her tolerance without her chair.
-IV placed in her hand. SJ unhappy. Will pull it and have them replace it again because it's not comfortable. Cannot make it more obvious she wants a port still.
-Might be doing an SFX makeup look later.
-Video of Yoda the Tortoise walking across the floor. Only interesting part of the video.
-Only did half her infusion before removing the line because ouchies . Shows off weird makeup.

-she fought the laundry and the laundry won.
-Been hard to adjust to being a grown up again, and things like hygiene have been suffering because she has been working. She knows she's going to end up "doing something until she passes out" and missing her shower. Has no time for that anymore because she's way too busy. Forgets she spent two hours doing makeup and an hour at walmart just fucking around and a shower takes 10 minutes.
-She loses so many moments within her day now. Apparently does not understand that adults have to sacrifice fuckaround time in order to pay our bills, keep our houses clean, and not smell like fish and BO at work.
-Can't balance work and her "business" and something has to change. How about you cut back on the hundreds of attention seeking care packages to ingratiate yourself to dying children and focus on paid work?
-closes with a shot of sleepy Gizmo, which, like the shot of Yoda, balances out my rage at having watched this grown ass adult insinuate she's going to quit her new job for 20 minutes.

 

[Punkinsplice]

A little OT, but shouldn't Yoda be hibernating in a box of leaves or something? Or is it too early?

 

[WarpedTourWasFun]

A little OT, but shouldn't Yoda be hibernating in a box of leaves or something? Or is it too early?

Depending on how they have the lights/heater, tortoises (and other reptiles) may or may not brumate. I've had mine for a long time and he's only brumated once. If she's keeping him warm, he may not feel the need to brumate.

 

[Kate Farms Shill]

Depending on how they have the lights/heater, tortoises (and other reptiles) may or may not brumate. I've had mine for a long time and he's only brumated once. If she's keeping him warm, he may not feel the need to brumate.

I learned a new word today.

The sullen walrus is in the hospital (Waitakere, if this helps our Kiwi Kiwis figure out where she's rotting away) with "severe dehydration, very bad tachycardia, blood pressure of 80/40" aka refusing to eat or drink because they won't give her a new NJ or PICC to kill herself with.




And Dani has a new PICC after trying to sepsis herself. Ah yes, the double chin of someone who definitely needs to be on TPN or she will die.

 

[howmanypizzas69]

Does anyone ever call Paige out for her ridiculous number of line and tube mishaps? I checked her IG but idk if she’s a deleter or not