Community Munchausen's by Internet (Malingerers, Munchies, Spoonies, etc) - Feigning Illnesses for Attention

[I hate children?]

I follow someone on twitter who definitely seems like she has a legitimate disability but she's also extremely OTT and always begging for money and started her own fb group and she's just.....weird

Inactive (@falumgibson) | Twitter

The latest Tweets from Inactive (@falumgibson)

twitter.com

There is SO much to unpack I'm not sure where to start?

Has been in the hospital since August because she was suicidal (btw she claims trans too but that's a brand new over the last few months thing) She's homeless and the hospital 'wants to kick her out' was fundraising for money for a place to live. Now is fundraising for lawyer fees against the hospital

View attachment 1016525

Hospital neglected her and took her phone (btw when they took her phone she was still ranting on facebook left and right but all of those were deleted as soon as people started questioning her)

Has a Gofundme for 'Justice for Falum'

Justice For Falum organized by Falum Gibson

The BackstoryThe Ottawa Hospital General Campus in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, left me without a shower f… Falum Gibson needs your support for Justice For Falum

www.gofundme.com

She only came out as trans after all this crazy hospital shit started happening and she started 'fundraising' again. Her 8th fundraiser in a year. Most of them have vanished now though

View attachment 1016532

She's trying to fundraise for her step father too
View attachment 1016534

But WAIT! She's also fundraising because she's going to have to live with her transphobic parents and someone outed her! So here's her third fundraiser
View attachment 1016536

But WAIT! She's also going to school?
View attachment 1016537

This is the weirdest fucking person I've ever followed. She's been on my radar for 2 1/2 years now and she's gone through 15 fundraisers in that time. Someone is always dying and she's always in danger. ALWAYS. She does appear to currently be in the hospital from her videos. But.....this story is weird right All the fundraising is weird right?

oh and on October 11 she had a tumor removed? But nothing on her twitter about it?
View attachment 1016543

Just about everyone being transphobic and ablist and honestly......this is a strange strange person.

Going back on her twitter half of it has vanished too? Has anyone else seen this chick?

apparently someone called her out years ago . She has been shared on GoFraudMe before but the posts always got removed.

 

[LahLahBlackSheep]

apparently someone called her out years ago . She has been shared on GoFraudMe before but the posts always got removed.
View attachment 1016548

Holy shit! So she's been doing this shit way longer than I thought. I honestly had no fucking clue. She came on my radar through a mutual and I've been kind of sitting back watching the insanity fly.

Anyone questions her and posts disappear and people disappear and other people start claiming ablism or transphobia now

Holy shit guys. She conned her way into meeting the Bieber haha

Peterborough teen to meet Justin Bieber after all after being told she couldn't because of wheelchair accessibility at the Air Canada Centre in Toronto

Peterborough’s Falum Gibson is set to meet her favourite singer in May, but had to battle the Air Canada Centre to make it happen.Gibson, 18, is a huge Justin Bieber fan and has been following...

www.thepeterboroughexaminer.com

Sorry found more! Another petition and insanity from Falum from Two years ago

Sign the Petition

Remove mandated mental health leave for students

www.change.org

 

[Kate Farms Shill]

IFGW is great but the more people that end up there from IF the more cringey it gets . There seems to more and more competition for who is the sickest person there that totally justifies the no powerleveling rule that most adhere to .

Yeah, the down side of the raid the other day and some other incidents is the mass exodus of IFers to IFGW. There's a recent post about Flirty.the.service.horse having to ~transition home~ from the hospital after four days and the entire comment section is "4 days?! HAH! That's nothing! I was inpatient for 4 years and almost died seventeen times and I still just went home like it was no big deal! What a baby!"

wow, you must be so much sicker and braver than she is. We're talking about a 300 lb woman-child with a service horse for plantar fasciitis and PTSD and also a service dog for PTSD because she needs both apparently, and won't say what her PTSD was allegedly caused by. That is more than enough to mock. We are not lacking in content to talk about here.

I do like u/powerlevelbot trolling anyone who blogs too hard. From talking to mods they're trying to create a happy medium between IF's police state that just encourages the attention seekers to blog without using personal pronouns, and the munchie cuddlefest over at Malingering.

edit: Also hilarious: she got a service dog after claiming repeatedly that she could only have a service horse because she was allergic to dogs.

 

[flatlandbasin]

Greet. Marisa Finan-Goode is prolific about her sickstagram, so here are her updates. She had a port placed. She had a port before, then didn't have one, and now has one again.

Spoiler: The lady doth protest too much re: Tylenol

Marisa had her port placed, and the "post surgery meds had me pretty...toasted!" She continues to refer to her "highly medicated ramble."

You do not need general anaesthesia for port placement. Those who have ports placed have local anaesthetic applied to the incision site, and undergo conscious sedation, which is application orally, intravenously or intramuscular of benzodiazepines or gaseous application of nitrous oxide. I am not aware of what MCAD protocols for anaesthesia are, but I am aware that benzodiazepines are classed as highly addictive. If one was previously taking benzodiazepines, one would not find them effective conscious sedation without taking a massive, potentially fatal dose. Doctors don't usually go for that. Conclusion: she either got her docs to Lil' Xan her to the moon with benzodiazepines, or she convinced them to do general anaesthesia for a simple procedure. (Kanto & Klotz 1982) Benzodiazepines are listed as one of the few "safe" medications for those with MCAD (and related disorders) and are prescribed across conditions to limit leukotriene receptor antagonism (Lamprecht 2019).





Funny enough? Tylenol (paracetamol) is cautioned for those with MCAD or related conditions because it can increase bronchial constriction (Lamprecht 2019).

But that doesn't stop dis bish from going ON and ON and ON about Tylenol.




"@Tylenol notice me senpai" -- Marisa Finan-Goode





She sang a song to a doctor. Isn't she so cute and quirky? @frankturner @warmies_usa @tylenol.

Also when people talk about treatment of mast cell reactions, they're very much more often talking about in the case of brain inflammation from a traumatic injury, or in relation to mast cell leukemia... real diseases, not mystery my-legs-are-splotchy disease (Akyol et al 2017, MANY more). The one paper that gets IVIG in relation to POTS and MCAS/MCAD in the way our gals describe it is a 2018 paper by LB Weinstock et al, and it was a case study of one patient. This is her:

Her name is Terry. From the study: "The patient studied low-dose naltrexone (LDN) and intravenous immunoglobulin (IVIg) on the Internet as alternative therapy for pain and POTS. As a scientist, the patient tracked symptoms which were later divided into three syndromes (vasospasm, edema and cyanosis.) In the absence of validated scoring systems for MCAS and POTS, the severity and frequency scores for symptoms were established by the authors as 10-point Likert scales."

After 10 IVIG treatments she "passed" her tilt table test at Mayo Scottsdale. After 20 tests the effects had worn off, also she took a 5-week break in the middle there.

"One of the authors (BG) who reported successful treatment of POTS associated with Sjogren’s syndrome in 2017 has successfully treated over 50 subsequent patients," according to the paper.

TLDR on that one: a lady who said she had POTS/MCAS/SIBO researched this treatment for herself on the internet, the scientists didn't have a way to score MCAS or POTS severity so they just established it on a 10-point scale. They declared it a success and LB Weinstock went on to give 50 more people the same treatment and call it a success.

TLDR: Marisa Finan-Goode maybe takes an assload of benzos. Then she takes an assload of Tylenol, which should have her in an acute asthma attack, but doesn't. Wonder why. She's ready for IVIG, although I suggest it's garbage.

 

[PootPoot2]

Spoiler: THIS GIRL!

Sksksksk and I oop, iiiiiiit’s Jenna!

This hot mess account is a short n’ sweet Children’s Hospital story about a rich spoiled basic bitch who munches to scratch that attention itch when she discovers the heartbreaking sitch that she ain’t quite as cute as her VSCO sorority sis. Thankfully Jenna’s desperate, open diagnosis seeking is enough to win her the *gentle hugs* that are to spoonies what claps are to Tinkerbell.

Worth noting that the SS above are from a full year ago; no followup announcement about results. Unsurprising, in light of this response to her sudden-onset seizures:


I’ll conclude with an excerpt from the latest hit dropped by Chronically_Tachy, the Chronically_Jackie tribute band, here:


PS: What the fuck is an eyelash lift?

 

[MysteriousStranger]

You do not need general anaesthesia for port placement. Those who have ports placed have local anaesthetic applied to the incision site, and undergo conscious sedation, which is application orally, intravenously or intramuscular of benzodiazepines or gaseous application of nitrous oxide. I am not aware of what MCAD protocols for anaesthesia are, but I am aware that benzodiazepines are classed as highly addictive. If one was previously taking benzodiazepines, one would not find them effective conscious sedation without taking a massive, potentially fatal dose.

As far as I know, there's no such thing as a fatal dose of benzodiazepines. I read a case study of a woman who tried to commit suicide by taking her whole scrip of Xanax (70 mg, maybe?) and washing it down with a fifth of vodka. She woke up three days later with a nasty headache. The downside of benzos is addictiveness, as you note, but they are very safe in even the highest doses.

As a side note, I lived in a university town in my twenties and paid a modest fee for a read-only access to the university library. I tried to read my way through the entire backlog of the Journal of Forensic Sciences, the flagship publication of the American Academy of Forensic Science. That's where I read that case study. It was absolutely riveting stuff. I have a feeling anyone who likes this thread would love the Journal.

Also the British version. I forget what it was called. It was better written but almost no pictures, which sounds about right.

 

[PootPoot2]

This one claims she can smell asbestos, but couldn’t smell the cancer in her SDiT puppy until it was too late. Maybe she should’ve taken the mask off more often. MBTM is the head of a family of spoonie fundies with a herd of dogs that are miraculously all capable of SD tasking at a moments’ notice. Prepare your heads for hat reacts, because the doggo stuff is infuriating.

Spoiler

@Me.Behind.The.Mask and her daughters live in constant terror not just from the threat of their delicate bodies giving out on them but also alleged constant home invasions as well as neighbors that attack them with cigarette smoke outside and irrational fears that people are trying to poison their dogs and—whatever, basically they’re afraid of everything. This bitch is craaaaaaaaaazy. Bonus MLM oil shilling and Jeebuss praising.

The GoFundMe is a scream, couldn’t even pick highlights because every pixel is gold.

Public Sicksta: @me.behind.the.mask
Main (private): @dancemom2dance
Public SDiT account: @mykah.sized.blessing
Public MLM account: @diffuse2dance

What are her diagnoses?


What could “plus 10” involve? Let’s ask the dog!



That’s a personal, not household, diagnos count mind you. According to the GFM “pre-pro” chubby ballerina daughters are also spoonie fundies. Her eldest, @lilsalty_bunhead (private), apparently plays along:



Even the animals in this house are unlucky in health. MBTM’s first SDiT, eMoji, wasn’t monitored properly. Scroll the pupper account for the details if you‘re a masochist, but basically this bitch paid enough attention to an adorable puppy to post weekly update photos but couldn’t be fucked to take him to the vet. Look at this sweet baby!


...who she fed candy with choking hazards built-in for IG ops:


...then with no warning, one week she suddenly posted this:


11 days later, she announces the wonderful news that another of her pets—far from mourning its playmate—is interested in tasking! Hallelujah!


Hallelujah again! This 3-year old new SDiT prospect has had a growth spurt in anticipation of its new role and now meets requirements to be a mobility doggo in the Lazy Fatass Handler class! (This is a daughter pictured, not the steroid puff-monster that is MBTM herself)



Dear Jeebus Up In Hebbun it’s me, PootPoot. Please watch over Mykah and don’t let this foul hosebeast murder another sweet pupper through aggravated neglect, amen.

Minor edits English because is hard.

 

[Vanilla Donut]

I follow someone on twitter who definitely seems like she has a legitimate disability but she's also extremely OTT and always begging for money and started her own fb group and she's just.....weird

Inactive (@falumgibson) | Twitter

The latest Tweets from Inactive (@falumgibson)

twitter.com

There is SO much to unpack I'm not sure where to start?

Has been in the hospital since August because she was suicidal (btw she claims trans too but that's a brand new over the last few months thing) She's homeless and the hospital 'wants to kick her out' was fundraising for money for a place to live. Now is fundraising for lawyer fees against the hospital

View attachment 1016525

Hospital neglected her and took her phone (btw when they took her phone she was still ranting on facebook left and right but all of those were deleted as soon as people started questioning her)

Has a Gofundme for 'Justice for Falum'

Justice For Falum organized by Falum Gibson

The BackstoryThe Ottawa Hospital General Campus in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, left me without a shower f… Falum Gibson needs your support for Justice For Falum

www.gofundme.com

She only came out as trans after all this crazy hospital shit started happening and she started 'fundraising' again. Her 8th fundraiser in a year. Most of them have vanished now though

View attachment 1016532

She's trying to fundraise for her step father too
View attachment 1016534

But WAIT! She's also fundraising because she's going to have to live with her transphobic parents and someone outed her! So here's her third fundraiser
View attachment 1016536

But WAIT! She's also going to school?
View attachment 1016537

This is the weirdest fucking person I've ever followed. She's been on my radar for 2 1/2 years now and she's gone through 15 fundraisers in that time. Someone is always dying and she's always in danger. ALWAYS. She does appear to currently be in the hospital from her videos. But.....this story is weird right All the fundraising is weird right?

oh and on October 11 she had a tumor removed? But nothing on her twitter about it?
View attachment 1016543

Just about everyone being transphobic and ablist and honestly......this is a strange strange person.

Going back on her twitter half of it has vanished too? Has anyone else seen this chick?

Fancy seeing her here, lol. I met her in a hobby group that had nothing to do with health whatsoever but in typical munchie fashion, she had to ask if anyone else in there had a chronic illness too then proceeded to round up all the asspats she could manage for herself despite most people simply posting to say that they have a health issue too. She announced that she had a “support group” for people with health issues and invited everyone who commented - it ended up being a group all about her. You guys probably know the type, “Falum’s Journey” or some shit. She even had the audacity to PM the people she invited to ask to them invite all of their friends. Only difference from now is that was she was mostly milking her cerebral palsy back then and yep, had a gofuckme for it.

Went to go check her out on FB where she is posting basically what she did on Twitter except she included that she was busted recording people without their permission as well as purposely running over people with her chair:



And kindly included some fucking disgusting photos of her catheter bag and something like food or vomit all over her chin and mouth.

Spoiler: Just...why?

But please guys, share her post and gofundme worldwide because justice must be served for her recording people without their knowledge then physically assaulting them.

Seems like there is a lot to unpack with her and while I agree she has a legitimate disability (I’d guess the cerebral palsy), the malingering and OTT shit she pulls is certainly strong with this one. Wow, I’d forgotten all about her. Nice find.

 

[Fattyroad]

View attachment 1016827

Spoiler: THIS GIRL!

View attachment 1016830

Sksksksk and I oop, iiiiiiit’s Jenna!

This hot mess account is a short n’ sweet Children’s Hospital story about a rich spoiled basic bitch who munches to scratch that attention itch when she discovers the heartbreaking sitch that she ain’t quite as cute as her VSCO sorority sis. Thankfully Jenna’s desperate, open diagnosis seeking is enough to win her the *gentle hugs* that are to spoonies what claps are to Tinkerbell.

Worth noting that the SS above are from a full year ago; no followup announcement about results. Unsurprising, in light of this response to her sudden-onset seizures:
View attachment 1016862

I’ll conclude with an excerpt from the latest hit dropped by Chronically_Tachy, the Chronically_Jackie tribute band, here:
View attachment 1016875

PS: What the fuck is an eyelash lift?

Another grown ass woman at childrens hospital. Why aren't they being told to fuck off and go to a non-children one?

 

[LahLahBlackSheep]

Fancy seeing her here, lol. I met her in a hobby group that had nothing to do with health whatsoever but in typical munchie fashion, she had to ask if anyone else in there had a chronic illness too then proceeded to round up all the asspats she could manage for herself despite most people simply posting to say that they have a health issue too. She announced that she had a “support group” for people with health issues and invited everyone who commented - it ended up being a group all about her. You guys probably know the type, “Falum’s Journey” or some shit. She even had the audacity to PM the people she invited to ask to them invite all of their friends. Only difference from now is that was she was mostly jerking off her cerebral palsy back then and yep, had a gofuckme for it.

Went to go check her out on FB where she is posting basically what she did on Twitter except she included that she was busted recording people without their permission as well as purposely running over people with her chair:



And kindly included some fucking disgusting photos of her catheter bag and something like food or vomit all over her chin and mouth.

Spoiler: Just...why?

But please guys, share her post and gofundme worldwide because justice must be served for her recording people without their knowledge then physically assaulting them.

Seems like there is a lot to unpack with her and while I agree she has a legitimate disability (I’d guess the cerebral palsy), the malingering and OTT shit she pulls is certainly strong with this one. Wow, I’d forgotten all about her. Nice find.

You met her in a hobby group? Holy shit. I didn't know Falum had any hobbies except claiming she's about to be homeless and needs $$ and one twitter post about pokemon go. Usually even munchie accounts you see a hobby or two. Even if it's something like plants or knitting or crocheting. But Falum never posts anything fun. It's all doom and gloom 24/7.

I've considered bringing her up a few times but didn't feel annoyed enough to write out a thing about her. But seeing four different pleads for money over her twitter tipped that scale for me.

Also I did some digging and hey she did post about her 'tumor' on facebook once. It was 'cancer' And then we didn't hear anything about it again ever

Spoilered because wtf

Spoiler

Going back in her photos is sad. She used to at least go out and drink and do things sometimes. Now it's all about the grifting and ebegging.

 

[Punkinsplice]

What part of the body is that "tumor" (it's a lesion, Falum) supposed to be on? It looks like a misshapen nipple, imo.

 

[Kate Farms Shill]

Today on "The Adventures of an Extremely Stupid Person who Thinks Her Google Searches are More Better-er than Med School," Sarah-Jean teaches doctors about her very rare and special disease.

Spoiler: cheat sheet for your sanity

-Forcing a cough. Clinic visit to check out what this "infection or whatever" is, then tomorrow going to see like, the dentist and that's all she's planning to do with her life for two days. Might not go to work because she's special and doesn't have to act like an adult. Unsure if by "clinic" she means Mayo or if she's using that word because all the cool kids with CF that she worships use that term because they actually go to a specialist clinic.
-Very obviously filming nurses et al and trying to hide that she is.
-Vogmask on because pay attention to me
-Hard to wash her hair because of her pointless IVs so she just doesn't bother
-Doctor told her she had a cold and to fuck off, take sudafed and mucinex, starts her on pred. Doesn't understand that cold meds are for relieving symptoms, not curing colds.
-Claims if it gets any worse she will get IV antibiotic for a fucking benign viral sinus infection that is explained by her shitty hygiene and working with customers during flu and cold season. Hi, antibiotic resistant superbugs!
-Montage of singing in car for some reason, but music played is not the music she's singing.
-Back home. Told the doc she had Mast Cell and needs the mask all the time. Explained to him all the symptoms she "receives" from mast cell and how it's just so crazy that she's allergic to everything (except food, medications, dogs, cats, anything that would really inconvenience her to be allergic to).
-Doc is amazed that she is the First Person Ever he has met with real and honest Mast Cell which he only learned about in med school. Therefore Sarah-Jean decides this doctor has no idea what Mast Cell is and she must educate him. Doc plays lip service and "yes you're very special, sweetie." He is privileged to know her since she has Mast Cell and it is very special. Doctor remarks that it sucks to be her. She agrees, as if she did not go three hours to Duluth to see a quack in order to get this diagnosis after multiple allergy specialists told her to take Zyrtec for her seasonal hay fever and fuck off.
-Gross close up of bloody IV line, not flushing well, removes it because she doesn't want infection aka wants to wash her hair. SJ We all know you want sepsis so you can get those IV antibiotics.
-post-shower weird noises and complaining about how she's s-s-s-s-so c-c-c-cold!
-Gross close up of what I think is sweet potato covered in butter, sugar, cinnamon, and whipped cream?
-boring talk about renovating EvilDad's house. Going to watch netflix.
-Sinuses are clear now and she feels better after showering. But reminds everyone that the doctor is SO SURE the relief won't last and itll be super bad when it comes back and she will need IV abx. Doesn't take pred because why would she do anything to help herself when IV abx might be on the table?

Edit: For reference her Mast Cell doctor is Dr. Alaaddin Kandeel, favorite amongst the munchies who Mayo tells to take a hike. All his reviews praise him, 5/5 stars for his immediate diagnosis of special and rare Mast Cell and Multiple Chemical Sensitivity, except the people who go for him for regular-ass allergies and get told they need expensive tests and treatments or they will die.

 

[elliptical narcissist]

So I'm catching up on IFGW after a couple days, reading the 'Inpatient for 4 days' thread, and maybe between KFS and u/Powerlevelbot these bloggers will get a clue and STFU. Up until pretty recently there was only one poster whose every.single.post. was powerleveling, now it's an infestation.

Saw KFS's post about the 'tiny, disabled gamer' with the coonhound service dogs that Flirty the service mini horse and her landwhale are staying with while landwhale adjusts to going home from spending four long days in the hospital and found this lovely shot of the both of them.

 

[Kate Farms Shill]

So I'm catching up on IFGW after a couple days, reading the 'Inpatient for 4 days' thread, and maybe between KFS and u/Powerlevelbot these bloggers will get a clue and STFU. Up until pretty recently there was only one poster whose every.single.post. was powerleveling, now it's an infestation.

Saw KFS's post about the 'tiny, disabled gamer' with the coonhound service dogs that Flirty the service mini horse and her landwhale are staying with while landwhale adjusts to going home from spending four long days in the hospital and found this lovely shot of the both of them.View attachment 1017226

All those attention seekers, my god. I feel bad for people with actual service dogs they need. And fatty one-upped them all by demanding to be allowed to walk around with a service horse because muh sooper severe dog allergies. Can't you see she's in super mega ultra anaphylaxis from being around them all?!

And that is not a happy coonhound. That is a terrified, stiff-as-a-board coonhound.


I assume everyone has already seen this but Ana-chan Anelise is gonna die soon and has been freaking out or at least pretending she is. IF seems to think she's having a come to jesus moment w/r/t her ED. Everyone else thinks this is just going to be another super severe health problem she can exploit and pretend to be upset about while doing everything in her power to exacerbate it. See also "OMG I HAD A HEART ATTACK anyway I got my new hickman, triple lumen, because the old one only had two lumens and that wasn't special and different enough for me lol this is so funny but I've had soooo many central lines it was almost impossible for them to place lol anyway PLEASE PRAY HAD HEART ATTACK."

 

[Refrigerator Poet]

Every damn time I think I’ve heard everything, somebody has to “transition home” from four days in the hospital. Does she also have to “transition home” from the hotel upon returning from vacation?

 

[Kate Farms Shill]

Every damn time I think I’ve heard everything, somebody has to “transition home” from four days in the hospital. Does she also have to “transition home” from the hotel upon returning from vacation?

Hey, we should have more sympathy.

Post-vacation depression is real. That moment when you realize less than 24 hours ago you were sipping tropical fruity cocktails with tiny paper umbrellas in the pool and today you're scrubbing the toilet in your shitty house is a terrible thing indeed. And to these girls, hospital is just like vacation. And since they all have PTSD, depression, anxiety, OCD, BPD, and bipolar and are constantly dissociating and verging on psychosis, they are more fragile than us health-normative oppressors and need time to adjust to a situation where people are not constantly paying attention to them and validating their 100% real conditions and/or they're not posting tearful rants on instagram about how the doctors and nurses were mean stupid dumb-dumbs who don't know anything and totally ignored them and getting more asspats.

It's a terrible adjustment. That's why so many of them set their homes up like hospital rooms, to help soothe the shock of going back to being an unpleasant, obese, useless, unspectacular, untalented leech on society who no one cares about.

 

[Refrigerator Poet]

I actually took a moment to consider what transitioning home from vacation would look like, and I think it would be a Red Roof Inn near the airport in Duluth, MN.

 

[eternal dog mongler]

Post-vacation depression is real. That moment when you realize less than 24 hours ago you were sipping tropical fruity cocktails with tiny paper umbrellas in the pool and today you're scrubbing the toilet in your shitty house is a terrible thing indeed. And to these girls, hospital is just like vacation. And since they all have PTSD, depression, anxiety, OCD, BPD, and bipolar and are constantly dissociating and verging on psychosis, they are more fragile than us health-normative oppressors and need time to adjust to a situation where people are not constantly paying attention to them and validating their 100% real conditions and/or they're not posting tearful rants on instagram about how the doctors and nurses were mean stupid dumb-dumbs who don't know anything and totally ignored them and getting more asspats.

Going on a cruise to the Caribbean might end with you being slammed by Jamaican men with impossibly large dicks.

Hospitals not so much.

I don't understand what munchies get out of this shit. Being in the hospital fucking sucks ass.

 

[Kate Farms Shill]

I actually took a moment to consider what transitioning home from vacation would look like, and I think it would be a Red Roof Inn near the airport in Duluth, MN.

I almost made a joke to this effect, ex: "that's why when i'm heading home from vacation i stay at several run-down motels in the boonies along the way." But then I thought it probably wasn't anywhere near as funny in writing as it was in my head. Bah.

 

[large_farva]

Today on "The Adventures of an Extremely Stupid Person who Thinks Her Google Searches are More Better-er than Med School," Sarah-Jean teaches doctors about her very rare and special disease.

Spoiler: cheat sheet for your sanity

-Forcing a cough. Clinic visit to check out what this "infection or whatever" is, then tomorrow going to see like, the dentist and that's all she's planning to do with her life for two days. Might not go to work because she's special and doesn't have to act like an adult. Unsure if by "clinic" she means Mayo or if she's using that word because all the cool kids with CF that she worships use that term because they actually go to a specialist clinic.
-Very obviously filming nurses et al and trying to hide that she is.
-Vogmask on because pay attention to me
-Hard to wash her hair because of her pointless IVs so she just doesn't bother
-Doctor told her she had a cold and to fuck off, take sudafed and mucinex, starts her on pred. Doesn't understand that cold meds are for relieving symptoms, not curing colds.
-Claims if it gets any worse she will get IV antibiotic for a fucking benign viral sinus infection that is explained by her shitty hygiene and working with customers during flu and cold season. Hi, antibiotic resistant superbugs!
-Montage of singing in car for some reason, but music played is not the music she's singing.
-Back home. Told the doc she had Mast Cell and needs the mask all the time. Explained to him all the symptoms she "receives" from mast cell and how it's just so crazy that she's allergic to everything (except food, medications, dogs, cats, anything that would really inconvenience her to be allergic to).
-Doc is amazed that she is the First Person Ever he has met with real and honest Mast Cell which he only learned about in med school. Therefore Sarah-Jean decides this doctor has no idea what Mast Cell is and she must educate him. Doc plays lip service and "yes you're very special, sweetie." He is privileged to know her since she has Mast Cell and it is very special. Doctor remarks that it sucks to be her. She agrees, as if she did not go three hours to Duluth to see a quack in order to get this diagnosis after multiple allergy specialists told her to take Zyrtec for her seasonal hay fever and fuck off.
-Gross close up of bloody IV line, not flushing well, removes it because she doesn't want infection aka wants to wash her hair. SJ We all know you want sepsis so you can get those IV antibiotics.
-post-shower weird noises and complaining about how she's s-s-s-s-so c-c-c-cold!
-Gross close up of what I think is sweet potato covered in butter, sugar, cinnamon, and whipped cream?
-boring talk about renovating EvilDad's house. Going to watch netflix.
-Sinuses are clear now and she feels better after showering. But reminds everyone that the doctor is SO SURE the relief won't last and itll be super bad when it comes back and she will need IV abx. Doesn't take pred because why would she do anything to help herself when IV abx might be on the table?

Edit: For reference her Mast Cell doctor is Dr. Alaaddin Kandeel, favorite amongst the munchies who Mayo tells to take a hike. All his reviews praise him, 5/5 stars for his immediate diagnosis of special and rare Mast Cell and Multiple Chemical Sensitivity, except the people who go for him for regular-ass allergies and get told they need expensive tests and treatments or they will die.

This reminds me of her recent trip to her doc, where she was boasting how amazed he was that she lasted for 5 days with congestion before rushing to his office. What she didn't realize that he was only surprised because she didn't make an appointment day one. She's so exceptional.

She implies this doc is not her usual, so maybe she went to an urgent care? She grossly violated the privacy of the woman at the check-in counter as she walked in. There is simply no point whatsoever to showing off the inside of a waiting room, doctor's office, or ER triage room. None of that is interesting at all. It's almost as if... there's nothing else to show because she's not sick.