Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[InsolentGaylord]

Everything about how Disney’s manages its IP and talent is kinda creepy.

As a slightly related aside, we watched Toy Story 2 on Disney plus and in the credits they removed the fake outtake where the prospector is trying to seduce two barbies while suggesting he can get them a part in the next film.

It’s obvious why they did it, considering John Lassiter himself got fucking metoo’d, but I did a little digging and couldn’t find a lot of buzz for it online, just a few minor articles. No virtue signalling, no gloating, no major fanfare at all. They just erased that scene forever, Stalin style.

On its own it’s not a big deal, but keep in mind that these fucks now own, what, a half dozen news networks?

That plus the fact they turned their broadcast TV divisions into essentially an ad farm for their films. We have shitty rural internet so we likely watch more over-the-air television than most, and it’s inescapable.

They show the classic movies on the air right before the remakes. You see movie posters in the background of TV shows, merchandizing front and center where the actors practically look at the camera. Hell, Speechless was a decent show until the third season where they literally had an episode about the family going to the premier of the Last Jedi.

How the fuck can you trust a company like that to deliver news at all? Among all the other desperate publicity flailing, I fully expect to see full-blown prime time news stories about Rise of Skywalker for the whole month.

It’s all creepy and it’s all shitty. I know advertisers have always pulled this shit but it feels more invasive than ever and has an unsettlingly precise psychological element to it.

Anywho, fuck Didney. Fuck them for holding good art hostage, and fuck them for trying to strangle the the pop culture art ecosystem for almost a century.

Just pirate the Blu Ray of Toy Story 2, at least before they removed the scene in 1080p (the 4k version is shit and they fucked the lighting up) and there you go, you keep that uncut version of the movie forever.

 

[AnOminous]

How the fuck can you trust a company like that to deliver news at all? Among all the other desperate publicity flailing, I fully expect to see full-blown prime time news stories about Rise of Skywalker for the whole month.

You know what they'll be, too. "Online trolls are attacking whammens and pee-oh-sees over new Star Wars movie. But good people like you love it!"

 

[Creep3r]

That's what I thought when I saw that Boyega "admitted" that it had been his script. I wasn't surprised that he left one lying around (people make mistakes, it happens) but I was surprised that Disney pointed the finger after recovering the script. All they had to do was put out some boilerplate about how "the script has been recovered, we know where it came from, the matter has been handled internally." Instead, they singled out Boyega as the fuck-up, presumably as an indicator of their displeasure with his behavior.

It was just so off how quickly Ridley and JJ were to point fingers at Boyega. They just completely threw him under the bus. And even if it was a publicity stunt, that's one fucked up stunt since it damages the reputation of one of your actors and it negatively effects him for future roles.

Everything about how Disney’s manages its IP and talent is kinda creepy.

As a slightly related aside, we watched Toy Story 2 on Disney plus and in the credits they removed the fake outtake where the prospector is trying to seduce two barbies while suggesting he can get them a part in the next film.

It’s obvious why they did it, considering John Lassiter himself got fucking metoo’d, but I did a little digging and couldn’t find a lot of buzz for it online, just a few minor articles. No virtue signalling, no gloating, no major fanfare at all. They just erased that scene forever, Stalin style.

On its own it’s not a big deal, but keep in mind that these fucks now own, what, a half dozen news networks?

That plus the fact they turned their broadcast TV divisions into essentially an ad farm for their films. We have shitty rural internet so we likely watch more over-the-air television than most, and it’s inescapable.

They show the classic movies on the air right before the remakes. You see movie posters in the background of TV shows, merchandizing front and center where the actors practically look at the camera. Hell, Speechless was a decent show until the third season where they literally had an episode about the family going to the premier of the Last Jedi.

How the fuck can you trust a company like that to deliver news at all? Among all the other desperate publicity flailing, I fully expect to see full-blown prime time news stories about Rise of Skywalker for the whole month.

It’s all creepy and it’s all shitty. I know advertisers have always pulled this shit but it feels more invasive than ever and has an unsettlingly precise psychological element to it.

Anywho, fuck Didney. Fuck them for holding good art hostage, and fuck them for trying to strangle the the pop culture art ecosystem for almost a century.

Bravo Disney. I'm sure all the Barbie-esque girls that Weinstein fucked will be forever grateful for this completely needless edit.

looking at the food I can believe it

Speaking of, here's another recipe.

Shit looks like curly intestines wrapped around turds. Its greasy bacon wrapped around greasy onion rings and coated with sugar and hot sauce... WTF is this...? This sounds like a mini-heart attack. FYI Hudalla is a nu-planet under Disney that's famous for having the biggest rings in the galaxy and for being the size of Dooku's head/ego? Look, I know I said we need less vegan shit, but I meant something that would look good, not turn more people into vegans.

Seriously, they couldn't just use Wookiee Cookies, Fug Cake or something that's not coated in grease and oil?

 

[AnOminous]

It was just so off how quickly Ridley and JJ were quick to point fingers at Boyega. They just completely threw him under the bus. And even if it was a publicity stunt, that's one fucked up stunt since it damages the reputation of one of your actors and it negatively effects him for future roles.

They did it because he's a black man and they are white racists.

 

[Safir]

I want to say I really hate the fictional author of this cookbook. The section before the actual recipe is written like the vapid and slimy copy compilers of online recipe collections use to pad the page to increase time on page for seo. The creepily conversational tone and unwanted anecdotes about things they imply I should love and cherish but are in fact completely foreign give me an "ancient distant relative crashed a family function and wants to smoooooooch" vibe. Ewww.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

What child is even going to go to Galaxy's Edge anyway? Do children still go to Disneyland or is it all childless millennials and genxers?

I have a work colleague who has a small child and she, her husband, and offspring go to Disneyland etc. Then again, she likes the House of Mouse in general to a disturbing degree (though being forced by small child to put "Let it Go" on repeat in the car is too much for even her to take.)

I suspect though that there's a lot of marketing to millennial parents though. Said colleague has a calendar at her desk with what can only be described as corporate Disney memes in it. Like, each month has a clip from a Disney animated film together with a phrase of the sort that millennial social media users and Tumblrinas use. So, the prince from Cinderella with "BAE" underneath it, the Little Mermaid sat on a rock with "MERMAID HAIR DON'T CARE," Tinkerbell with "MONDAY FEELING," and so forth.

I can't help but feel that there's significant amounts of fart-huffing going on in the rat's marketing department.

Also what kind of stance is this?

One as choreographed by someone who reckons Blossfechten and Florentine style are both iffy sex practices.

The closer we get the more shills vaguely report on story bits that are in line with leaks, of course with positive spin.

I know, right? The really depressing thing is, you just know that they're going to throw Kylo Ren down a hole never to be seen again after he's been trashed by Rey thrice and the Emprah for good measure because that way you never see the corpse and that means that Darth Poser can come back to wreak his revenge in Episodes X-XII sometime in the mid 2030s. Or in a tie in novel or comic series or TV series. Or all three. Maybe he'll just turn up in Star Wars X: Money For Old Rope by literally walking into a scene somewhere and there'll be a thinly disguised plug for the spinoff that explains how he survived.

They did it because he's a black man and they are white racists.

Which explains why he went from having (gasp!) character development in TFA, what with being a stormtrooper who defected because he wouldn't fire on civilians and learning that there's a whole world outside the brainwashed First Order ranks to being a shitty comic relief clown character in TLJ.

That, and "They fly now??"

Seriously, if ever there was a missed opportunity this was it. There was the possibility of exploring all sorts of things with Finn - the zeal of the convert, cult deprogramming, child soldiers and how they're reintegrated into society - but they missed all of them in the name of SuBVeRtINg ExPeCTAtioNS.

 

[StarkRavingMad]

Man, that moment when the cast was asked to give those facial expressions.

1. It is 100% giving off the same energy as Emilia Clarke's infamous "Best season ever ... !" moment.

2. J.J. Abrams was seriously staring down at all of the actors during that moment. He was looking at every single one of them. I don't know what kind of energy that's giving off, but if I had to guess, it's either "Oh no, please don't fuck this up guys" or "You BETTER not fuck this up, guys" His body language was not one of a calm, cool, and collected person.

3. Boyega's non-reaction spoke volumes, as well as Oscar Issac's clapping at Anthony Daniels' "40 years for THIS" comment.

This could all be a joke. But then again, this Trilogy has been the real joke, so ...

 

[Marissa Moira]

Holy Christ. It somehow got worse... As some of you may or may not remember, I posted every food item in Galaxy's Edge that was available during summer back around page 500 or so, but that only covered the summer period and while I was aware that more vegan-friendly options or replacements would be coming sometime after september I never imagined it would be this bad, as this is just on a whole 'nother level of horrifying. If I recall correctly, only five food items in the whole park actually used meat, Kaadu Ribs, Ronto Wraps, Yobshrimp salad, Endorian Tip-Yip and some horrid piece of wood they had the gall to call jerky. Even then, said meat still looked pretty fake or tasted downright horrible, but to think they would go even further and start replacing that shit with actual plastic and cucumbers is just vile. Also why even call it a Ronto wrap if they're not even going to pretend its made from Ronto anymore? This shit now looks like some crap you could get in one of those old hippie cafe shops before Starbucks ran them out of business. Just look at this crap. They somehow made it look even worse. Its literally just a salty turd on a saltier pita wrap. Why not just eat vegetables you fucking vegans? Why force this crappy fake meat on everyone? As if to make the food even more terrible, Disney even tried changing their names to generic irl names like vegan garden steak, which just made sales drop and criticisms rise before being forced to change back.

Also, I found the recipes for most of Galaxy's Edge food items online which include some of the newest food items at the park, all of which are fucking vegan.

To start off here is Rey Bread aka Polystarch Portion Bread from TFA...
View attachment 1035905
What's funnier about this crap is that the effects supervisor of TFA admitted that the ones they made for the film tasted terrible and had no nutritional value and in the many DLC novels Rey only ate these horrible things out of desperation and they tasted awful, yet here they're acting as if this shit is some fucking culinary delight. Also note that the recipes for these things might be more "natural" than how they make the crap at the park. It doesn't even do a good job of coming off as in-universe since the recipe calls for seaweed, something that doesn't even exist on Rey's shitty Tatooine knockoff where these shitty bread rolls are produced.

Before I add more recipes, here is a reminder: This is the in-universe author of this cookbook and the sole chef at Galaxy's Edge responsible for making the majority of your meals... Meet Mr. Cookie from TFA...
View attachment 1035910View attachment 1035909
The Disney Wars equivalent of the gross butler from Scary Movie 2... He is a fucking mutant seen in Yellow Yoda's shitty castle and is from a planet that gets by on carrion and shit-eating yet he is a master chef... Bravo Disney. An alien that embodies everything wrong with Disney Wars aliens, giving it a purpose that makes no sense and making it another shitty donut steal of a pre-existing alien.

It was just so off how quickly Ridley and JJ were quick to point fingers at Boyega. They just completely threw him under the bus. And even if it was a publicity stunt, that's one fucked up stunt since it damages the reputation of one of your actors and it negatively effects him for future roles.



Bravo Disney. I'm sure all the Barbie-esque girls that Weinstein fucked will be forever grateful for this completely needless edit.



Speaking of, here's another recipe.
View attachment 1036508
Shit looks like curly turds. Its greasy bacon wrapped around greasy onion rings and coated with sugar and hot sauce... WTF is this...? This sounds like a mini-heart attack. FYI Hudalla is a nu-planet under Disney that's famous for having the biggest rings in the galaxy and for being the size of Dooku's head/ego? Look, I know I said we need less vegan shit, but I meant something that would look good, not turn more people into vegans.

Seriously, they couldn't just use Wookiee Cookies, Fug Cake or something that's not coated in grease and oil?

Someone tell Jack that not only is Disney ripping off his one armed slunched over appearance, but his cooking too.

 

[StarkRavingMad]

Speaking of, here's another recipe.
View attachment 1036508
Shit looks like curly turds. Its greasy bacon wrapped around greasy onion rings and coated with sugar and hot sauce... WTF is this...? This sounds like a mini-heart attack. FYI Hudalla is a nu-planet under Disney that's famous for having the biggest rings in the galaxy and for being the size of Dooku's head/ego? Look, I know I said we need less vegan shit, but I meant something that would look good, not turn more people into vegans.

Seriously, they couldn't just use Wookiee Cookies, Fug Cake or something that's not coated in grease and oil?

Someone needs to send this to Gordon Ramsay's Twitter account. Stat.

Good god, that thing looks and sounds horrifying. Between this monstrosity of a dish, and the amount of sweating that goes on in an outdoor theme park, I bet it's going to make the Disney park attendees smell closer to hot dog water than anyone ever should.

DELIGHTFUL. /sarc

 

[Starscreams Cape]

I know, right? The really depressing thing is, you just know that they're going to throw Kylo Ren down a hole never to be seen again...

I want to see the fanfic where Kylo Ren is sold to the Lequint Dickey Mining Company.

 

[PseudoScrooge]

kosher[/B] salt exists in Star Wars now. This is I think the second time this has been confirmed since Snap Wexley (Chuck Wendig's self insert) was confirmed to only eat Kosher Melons in the new Resistance Reborn tie-in novel for Plan 9 which, I remind you, is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL for understanding the plot of Plan 9. So does that mean Snap Wexley (Wendig's self insert and fart man supreme) is jewish? Do jews have their own planet? Is is the Muuns of the Banking Clan? Is Snap half Banker?

Sad part is the name Emulsauce comes from an old EU entry showing the menu of Dex's Diner.

What? Space Jews?
(This is way off-topic, but does anyone remember at the end of the original DUNE series, there were space Jews introduced? I swear Herbert lost his friggin mind at the end of his life. Shoulda stopped at 3 books.)

So, is the Rise of the Resistance ride open and operational now? Dammit, I was hoping for opening-day carnage, so badly!

What a missed opportunity for the greatness that an OT ride, with Vader and going through the Executor, could have been.

There are shills a-plenty in the YT comments. One person "teared up a little."

We shall see if the crowds come.

 

[Miller]

New pic of the sthuper cool and totally interesting dagger plot device being held by our sour plank protagonist

Nerdrotic was right, it's like an episode of Alias.

 

[Judge Holden]

(This is way off-topic, but does anyone remember at the end of the original DUNE series, there were space Jews introduced? I swear Herbert lost his friggin mind at the end of his life. Shoulda stopped at 3 books.)

Yeah he kinda got lost in the wilds of his own imagination. Shame he wasnt able to complete his mythos though, since I actually kinda like the plotline he wrote to conclude the story which his sons adapted for their sequel books but dont want to force myself to read them given how shit everyone I know says they are

 

[Ashen One]

Good god, that thing looks and sounds horrifying. Between this monstrosity of a dish, and the amount of sweating that goes on in an outdoor theme park, I bet it's going to make the Disney park attendees smell closer to hot dog water than anyone ever should.

DELIGHTFUL. /sarc

That's a brilliant marketing strategy for their failure of a not-yet opened hotel.

"After having a spectacular day full of wonder and adventure on Galaxy's Edge™ do you want to head home the same way those sweaty people that smell awful are going? I know I wouldn't. But there are good news to you, esteemed guest! You can avoid getting close to them by staying in our beautiful hotel! Enjoy the ultimate fully automated luxury gay space communism luxury as you explore the wonders of Canto Bight such as the world renowned casino frequented by upstanding citizens of the galaxy and our beachside parking spots.

Come stay with us in the Canto Bight Resort™. Because to us, you are as important as Rose Tico."

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

What? Space Jews?
(This is way off-topic, but does anyone remember at the end of the original DUNE series, there were space Jews introduced? I swear Herbert lost his friggin mind at the end of his life. Shoulda stopped at 3 books.)

So, is the Rise of the Resistance ride open and operational now? Dammit, I was hoping for opening-day carnage, so badly!

What a missed opportunity for the greatness that an OT ride, with Vader and going through the Executor, could have been.

There are shills a-plenty in the YT comments. One person "teared up a little."

We shall see if the crowds come.

well...

 

[BScCollateral]

I'd almost buy the Ewoks beating the Empire if every dead Stormtrooper were surrounded by a mound of dead Ewoks.

At least I'd get to see a mound of dead Ewoks.

 

[Judge Holden]

That's a brilliant marketing strategy for their failure of a not-yet opened hotel.

"After having a spectacular day full of wonder and adventure on Galaxy's Edge™ do you want to head home the same way those sweaty people that smell awful are going? I know I wouldn't. But there are good news to you, esteemed guest! You can avoid getting close to them by staying in our beautiful hotel! Enjoy the ultimate fully automated luxury gay space communism luxury as you explore the wonders of Canto Bight such as the world renowned casino frequented by upstanding citizens of the galaxy and our beachside parking spots.

Come stay with us in the Canto Bight Resort™. Because to us, you are as important as Rose Tico."

Jesus christ im still not over their apparently planned windowless metal "space cruise hotel" in which they plan to wake guests up in the middle of the night and force them to LARP with the most product consooming attendees they can find that they are #resisting space trump and not allow people to leave for fear it "breaks the immersion"

I mean....fucking hell the idea of being stuck on this shit actually puts a chill down my spine.

 

[Adamska]

"Abrams still left the door open to a different form of LGBTQ representation in his film. The filmmaker noted that he’s always strived to find a cast for “Star Wars” that “looked more the way the world looks than not.”

“And in the case of the LGBTQ community, it was important to me that people who go to see this movie feel that they’re being represented in the film,” Abrams said.

So without spoiling the film, Variety asked, does that mean there will be a queer character in “The Rise of Skywalker”?

“I will say I’m giving away nothing about what happens in the movie,” Abrams replied with a smile. “But I did just say what I just said.”

https://variety.com/2019/film/news/...t-boyfriends-lgbtq-representation-1203423286/

View attachment 1036040

You know what movie tried this to desperately get internet buzz, failed horribly beyond the fans mocking it, and bombed? Solo, or as the Chinese know it as because Disney wants to two time them and the Soy audience: Ranger Solo.

Fuck off JarJar and own up to being a hack who can't close a Denny's, let alone a film.

 

[AnOminous]

Which explains why he went from having (gasp!) character development in TFA, what with being a stormtrooper who defected because he wouldn't fire on civilians and learning that there's a whole world outside the brainwashed First Order ranks to being a shitty comic relief clown character in TLJ.

They found out the chinks don't like blacks.

So they turned him into Steppin Fetchit. Much woke, such progressive.

 

[not william stenchever]

I'd almost buy the Ewoks beating the Empire if every dead Stormtrooper were surrounded by a mound of dead Ewoks.

At least I'd get to see a mound of dead Ewoks.

And then after the battle the Ewoks can be seen butchering dead stormtroopers and fallen comrades alike in preparation for the victorious blood orgy and putting the prisoners in cages for future consumption. These are not cuddly teddy bears, they are bloodthirsty cannibalistic dropbears and the only reason they aren't eating you is because you are the entourage of a shining golden god.

I know Lucas wanted to sell toys with the Ewoks, but that would be an example of how to subvert expectations.