Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[verissimus]

It doesn't even look Star Wars.

That's because it isn't.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

Yeah, Jar Jar had a lot of plot armour in Filoni and he's probaly dead by Last Jedi. Also Filoni will find away to keep Ahsoka long as possible while humilating many fan favourites down the line. I do like Ahsoka, but I feel like the last season of his Clone wars should be named the Ahsoka Show.

There is a difference between "We know this guy is gonna die of old age" and "Ahsoka's best fate is getting Order 66'd off screen."

 

[PseudoScrooge]

Let the shilling begin

What in the holy hell did I just read?

I quote: "The best course of action, though, is to realize the movie or show in your head isn’t real and figure out why the people behind the project didn’t do that. Only in that understanding and acceptance can true satisfaction be found. "

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

Hey everyone, just popping back in before the carny freakshow drops. Anyways, episode nine is going to be a shitshow. I'm actually shocked how bad it's going to be. I didn't think they would fuck up this bad, but here we are....

I'm not even sure if I'll see. If I do, it will be the next few weeks. I'm totally apathetic to it at the moment.

The only interesting Star Wars, right now, is Mandalorian. The show had a really dissapointing opener(Filoni can't direct live-action). But, it quickly recovered and has had some solid offerings.

The show is still inconsistent, but I see potential with it(especially after episode six). I'm utterly sold on Rick Famuyiwa. That guy needs a Star Wars movie to direct.

I'm just hoping after the Abrams/RJ/Kennedy trainwreck:
Guys like Favreau, Famuyiwa, and Feige can piece it back together to some sort of respectability...

 

[Jewthulhu]

Yeah, Jar Jar had a lot of plot armour in Filoni and he's probaly dead by Last Jedi. Also Filoni will find away to keep Ahsoka long as possible while humilating many fan favourites down the line. I do like Ahsoka, but I feel like the last season of his Clone wars should be named the Ahsoka Show.

Ahsoka is one of the Clone Wars additions that I really don't like. Aside from the fact that the council would have never granted a padawan to Anakin, the Clone Wars should have really been about the dynamic between Obi-Wan and Anakin. You had a hint of almost a big brother/little brother relationship between the two at the start of Episode III. The Clone Wars should have been used to establish and strengthen that bond, so that Anakin's betrayal his master and fight to the death would have carried more weight. But hey, who cares about interesting stories in Star Wars, it's just a show for kids.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

I thought the whole "lol PoeFinn isn't going to be a thing, fuck you shippers" would bring the most salt before the film came out, but I didn't expect to hear of actors throwing each other under the bus now that all's said and done--especially with it being revealed Boyega is one of its biggest critics alongside Hamill, and Daisy's lynching him for it or whatever. Holy shit, not even Fembusters had that kind of behind-the-scenes drama.

So this is how 2019 is going to end, people REE'ing over Star Wars. Couldn't be more fitting.

Oh yeah, kind of a dumb question but I thought I read somewhere about given how rather sexless the Star Wars universe is (least on-screen), the closest to anything sexual would be kisses between characters. So if Kylo actually pulls a Snow White/Sleeping Beauty on Rey, does that make him a necrophiliac rapist?

 

[Ghostse]

Especially if IX does well and Knives Out being a hit, RJ will likely get his trilogy.

As of Dec 12, Knives Out has done 120M TBO/~70Million domestic on a 40 Million budget. It is still running but has slowed, still doing over a million a day.
I didn't see too much of an ad blitz for it, other than media shills, so its on track to make a tidy profit even if it isn't a run away success.

I would like to believe Disney isn't dumb enough to give Rian a shilogy, but who the fuck knows anymore.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Well, that's time wasted if you ask me.

Star Wars fans camp outside LA theater week before film opens

Obsessed Star Wars fans with sleeping bags and a portable movie projector have started camping outside Hollywood's Chinese Theatre, more than a week before the blockbuster begins playing. Organizers expect that number to swell to 150 in the coming days, with fans of all ages traveling from as far

news.yahoo.com

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

Well, that's time wasted if you ask me.

Star Wars fans camp outside LA theater week before film opens

Obsessed Star Wars fans with sleeping bags and a portable movie projector have started camping outside Hollywood's Chinese Theatre, more than a week before the blockbuster begins playing. Organizers expect that number to swell to 150 in the coming days, with fans of all ages traveling from as far

news.yahoo.com

At least they are spending time outside instead of in their loft apartment (paid for by their parents) drinking soy lattes and checking twitter all day.

 

[Jaimas]

I think the merchandise for IX might be getting out of hand...
View attachment 1050220
I mean look at this fucking thing. It belongs in the Cursed Images thread. How can you even stomach going to sleep at night while knowing this thing is in your house?

Also here is the first complete view of the new moronic treadspeeders.
View attachment 1050225
Reminder that these things are mainly designed to be catapults that launch nu-jet troopers into the air. That's the only reason its rear end hovers instead of being a full on land vehicle. Any vehicle or scifi vehicle spergs in this thread who might be interested in reviewing this thing?

Tracked vehicles barely exist in the Star Wars universe. To writ, I'm aware of only a handful, with one being an obsolete piece of trash owned by the Jawas that's generations old, another being a ridiculously inexpensive piece of military hardware designed to be cheap as possible, and one siege weapon that uses them because it's too heavy to use anti-gravity tech they use in like.... Basically everything that isn't a starship in this universe.

It's considered obsolete. So right out the gate it makes no sense in-universe, but fucking look at that thing's design. They literally took a speeder bike and welded the front of it to tracks to make this thing. Fucking silly.

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

At least they are spending time outside instead of in their loft apartment (paid for by their parents) drinking soy lattes and checking twitter all day.

How many of them are shippers? Let's guess!

 

[StarkRavingMad]

So, tonight, I watched a certain cinematic masterpiece for the first time in a handful of years: Spaceballs.

From all of the product plugging of unnecessary things/crap/junk, to the small jab at Disney, to the literal line of "You're under arrest for ILLEGAL PARKING," I'm telling you all:

This movie has aged like fine wine. I'm almost certain that Mel Brooks is a clairvoyant or a time traveler, because holy shit, this movie can easily be applied to what Disney has done to Star Wars.

Fine. Wine.

 

[HumanHive]

"We only invested... what? 900 million to do a soft reboot of the Star Wars franchise that nobody wants to buy the toys of? Pfft, pocket change. And we never really cared that much anyway."

 

[StarkRavingMad]

"We only invested... what? 900 million to do a soft reboot of the Star Wars franchise that nobody wants to buy the toys of? Pfft, pocket change. And we never really cared that much anyway."

Ah, I see: The shills are in the "bargaining" stage of their grief.

 

[Marissa Moira]

Really the Boba fett of Disney Wars is Baby Yoda who's name isn't even Baby Yoda.

 

[frozenrunner]

I just want to say the sixth episode of The Mandalorian was pretty okay, but I couldn't take Ol' Billy Applecheeks seriously because 1) he was basically playing himself (and almost certainly adlibbed a lot of his dialogue) and 2) he's given stuff like Lord of the Rings such guff for being "nerd shit" that his involvement in this is hilarious to me. I hope he gets clowned by his audience FOREVER for doing this. I want people tweeting him pictures of his character holding Baby Yoda until the end of time. It's just so not Bill.

I mean, you could practically see it on his balding, pasty face: "Can I really keep a straight face while reading these lines?"

(The cast was good though, especially Clancy fucking Brown!)

 

[Jewthulhu]

Also here is the first complete view of the new moronic treadspeeders.

Reminder that these things are mainly designed to be catapults that launch nu-jet troopers into the air. That's the only reason its rear end hovers instead of being a full on land vehicle. Any vehicle or scifi vehicle spergs in this thread who might be interested in reviewing this thing?

Aesthetically, it's not horrible, but the regular speederbikes were much better looking than this.

There's theoretically enough mass on the flat of the tread to keep its ass from dragging on the ground when driving, but then again, I am assuming the tread is pretty heavy (probably unreasonably so). Either way, it's still a useless piece of crap, since the easiest way to traverse rough terrain is to literally float over it, which the other speeders seemed to have mastered hundreds of years before this movie.

Insofar as function, the whole concept of launching rocket troopers like some sort of circus act is re.tarded as fuck. It's like shooting an ICBM from a catapult. It's inaccurate, has a high probability of malfunction, and is less efficient than just using the rocket.

I might do some calculations on the physical stability of the thing over the weekend as a way of studying for my physics final. It looks like it shouldn't work but I could be wrong.

 

[Marissa Moira]

Episode 9 will forever tarnish the legacy of Disney as a whole. 100 years from now people will still remember it.

Mind you Snow White is going to be a 76 year old film.

 

[friedshrimp]

So this probably autistic and minor in the grand scheme of things, but I felt the more I added the better this thread could get.

There's this little phone game called Disney Magic Kingdoms, that's pretty much a very average game made for the delight of Disney fans and kids, essentially you build your own version of the Magic Kingdom and gradually every Disney characters arrives to live in your built kingdom. Like Minecraft but with more Mouse IP. It's average and pretty cute, harmless, but today something weird happened.

So usually, the way to get characters is to either pass the story (very slowly) or catch them during events, where monthly Disney releases a set of characters based around one particular movie, and the gist is that you have to do missions to get the characters before the months end, otherwise they put them back into the vault. Sometimes the theme is arbitrary, other times it's following some Disney movie that just premiered, or just following festivities (ea new Frozen characters just came out last month around the release of Frozen 2, Nightmare Before Christmas was released around October).

So the Frozen event just finished, and the game is already preparing for next month's event, and guess which is...

Disney Magic Kingdoms: Update 36 Preview

A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY COMES TO THE KINGDOM! STAR WARS™ content arrives in Disney Magic Kingdoms as the biggest update of the year. Collect STAR WARS...

es-la.facebook.com

NU WARS CHARACTERS. Of course the fucking Disney OCs, not like any of the classic characters. This just kinda bothers me because it's cashing in on Star Wars before focusing on other Disney movies that they haven't featured at all in the game (Pinocchio, Hercules(, besides, why now adding the "faux" Disney characters? Why no Avengers event in May with Endgame?

EDIT: Oh wow, I broke the 1000th page ceiling by ranting about an autistic Disney videogame...

 

[Jaimas]

So this probably autistic and minor in the grand scheme of things, but I felt the more I added the better this thread could get.

There's this little phone game called Disney Magic Kingdoms, that's pretty much a very average game made for the delight of Disney fans and kids, essentially you build your own version of the Magic Kingdom and gradually every Disney characters arrives to live in your built kingdom. Like Minecraft but with more Mouse IP. It's average and pretty cute, harmless, but today something weird happened.

So usually, the way to get characters is to either pass the story (very slowly) or catch them during events, where monthly Disney releases a set of characters based around one particular movie, and the gist is that you have to do missions to get the characters before the months end, otherwise they put them back into the vault. Sometimes the theme is arbitrary, other times it's following some Disney movie that just premiered, or just following festivities (ea new Frozen characters just came out last month around the release of Frozen 2, Nightmare Before Christmas was released around October).

So the Frozen event just finished, and the game is already preparing for next month's event, and guess which is...

Disney Magic Kingdoms: Update 36 Preview

A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY COMES TO THE KINGDOM! STAR WARS™ content arrives in Disney Magic Kingdoms as the biggest update of the year. Collect STAR WARS...

es-la.facebook.com

NU WARS CHARACTERS. Of course the fucking Disney OCs, not like any of the classic characters. This just kinda bothers me because it's cashing in on Star Wars before focusing on other Disney movies that they haven't featured at all in the game (Pinocchio, Hercules(, besides, why now adding the "faux" Disney characters? Why no Avengers event in May with Endgame?

There is no place for Star Wars, on the other side of the dream.
Its place is here, among us.
Forever.

Hahaha, I brought it to 1000 with a vidya reference