Lolcow Timothy "TJ" Church / Cowlick - Failed Literotica Writer &/or Null's Best Friend

[Danger]

So TJ you're coming up on the 300th page. Got big plans for your lolcow milestone?

 

[TM Ambrose]

Look up the word "irony."

I've mentioned this before to him. He said he understood the word and then used it in the wrong context.

 

[Hawker Hurricane]

 

[Tookie]

@Cowlick, I'll reiterate what I said some time before since you seem to be hellbent on living out some kind of Kiwi Groundhog Day for the rest of your encephalitic life: even if you are the smartest person on the board it doesn't matter because you've accomplished exactly nothing with it.

Also, no one gives a shit about your grammar, which is way more fucked up than you think it is. I've worked for an entrepreneur with atrocious grammar who accomplished 10000x what you can ever hope to, he had staff who would edit memos and documents on his behalf so he didn't have to worry about it.

 

[namazuros]

Even so, that is yet another thing which makes me superior to many members here, who include (at least) one mistake in the majority of their posts and refuse to admit them ever, while simultaneously posting corrections to what they claim are mistakes in my posts, not all of which are even incorrect.

Your unchecked ego is getting really old, and the novelty of you schooling Holden has long since worn off. So I'm going to be blunt with you; you're not superior to the majority of the users here, not even close. There are many other people in this thread along who are better than you (and indeed better than me) at language, at business, at science, at technology, at a multitude of things. You have spent nearly 300 pages presenting a futile case for your nonexistent talents while wondering aloud why we don't all kneel down and proclaim you king.

You go on and on about how you're a talented writer, and I'm going to call you out on your superiority complex. Lord knows I'm not a particularly skilled writer myself, but I at least listen to criticism and don't bomb sites with sockpuppet accounts.

So here's the deal. If you think you're a better writer than me, show me up like the hack fraud I am. Post your masterpiece, what you think is your best work, and let people compare it to the thing I wrote up between Monster Hunter games.

That sound too unfair for you? Have a third party pick a subject, any subject at all, and you and me will have a short essay contest around that subject. Heck, if that sounds too tough for you, you can pick the subject yourself.

Your inflated ego has gotten incredibly grating. I'm tired of you calling everyone an inferior subhuman while you've proven yourself to be an uncouth simpleton. Grow a spine and actually back up your words.

 

[The I Scream Man]

Your unchecked ego is getting really old, and the novelty of you schooling Holden has long since worn off. So I'm going to be blunt with you; you're not superior to the majority of the users here, not even close. There are many other people in this thread along who are better than you (and indeed better than me) at language, at business, at science, at technology, at a multitude of things. You have spent nearly 300 pages presenting a futile case for your nonexistent talents while wondering aloud why we don't all kneel down and proclaim you king.

You go on and on about how you're a talented writer, and I'm going to call you out on your superiority complex. Lord knows I'm not a particularly skilled writer myself, but I at least listen to criticism and don't bomb sites with sockpuppet accounts.

So here's the deal. If you think you're a better writer than me, show me up like the hack fraud I am. Post your masterpiece, what you think is your best work, and let people compare it to the thing I wrote up between Monster Hunter games.

That sound too unfair for you? Have a third party pick a subject, any subject at all, and you and me will have a short essay contest around that subject. Heck, if that sounds too tough for you, you can pick the subject yourself.

Your inflated ego has gotten incredibly grating. I'm tired of you calling everyone an inferior subhuman while you've proven yourself to be an uncouth simpleton. Grow a spine and actually back up your words.

SECONDED!

Just be prepared for him to not participate and yet still claim some form of superiority, just like he did with me and @Pikonic when we challenged him to writing contests. Timothy is nothing if not cowardly, after all.

 

[Danger]

This has happened before. Good luck getting him to play. Good buddy TJ will just make some rambling post that's grueling to read about how he's better than us and we're incapable of understanding his genius.

 

[Cowlick]

1] Nama, I agree to never call anyone that again if I can recall this later. Many repeatedly prove it in their own posts anyway. Also, I have never "bombed" sites with "sockpuppet" accounts (whatever those are). In addition, I would gladly agree to your contest, outside of the fact I doubt many writers would choose their own best work rather than give the reading public that ability, & regardless, any members here already have an obvious bias (again, the only reason I ever came here), so one can easily predict their decision before either of us submits anything.

2] Skeleton, clearly Ambrose does, since TMA repeatedly makes claims about grammar & my (supposed, not actual) mistakes in it, as well as his superiority in it (again, claimed but not actual).

3] Ambrose, the banner is on every one of my posts, so (as you claim about misuses I've properly corrected in the past) what I stated about the claim is also a correct way of saying it. (There can be more than 1 correct way to say things, you know.)

4] Cosmos, it is not a question of "if", but "when" the thread (or perhaps just the negative statements within it) are removed, along with the "Wiki" page (which I've noticed says some things that would be listed under "correct" & others that would be on a list of "incorrect", along with a great deal of things that are just opinions stated as facts, which many members on this board seem to specialize in if they do so in any thing). Also, many people discuss me already in many places on the Internet, & I do nothing about it & care little if at all.

 

[PacSol]

You know, Churchy-boy, you've been trying for five months already to get this thread removed, and all you've done is made it grow. Don't you think there might be something wrong with your approach?

 

[TM Ambrose]

Ambrose, the banner is on every one of my posts, so (as you claim about misuses I've properly corrected in the past) what I stated about the claim is also a correct way of saying it. (There can be more than 1 correct way to say things, you know.)

True it is on every post, but it's also on your profile. Just had to point out the root cause to why it's on every post. Not a correction, merely an identification.

2] Skeleton, clearly Ambrose does, since TMA repeatedly makes claims about grammar & my (supposed, not actual) mistakes in it, as well as his superiority in it (again, claimed but not actual).

Many people on this thread, including writers, have said your grammar and spelling are inferior, have agreed with me, and have said I'm a better writer than you. The fact that you don't accept it is cognitive dissonance. Once again you've resorted to attacking the person and not the actual argument.

Also, I have never "bombed" sites with "sockpuppet" accounts (whatever those are).

A sockpuppet is an account that you have opened on a site where you've already had an account. This account is for the express purpose of circumventing a system. You have created these to take advantage of the auto-approve function of one of the porn sites you're on. In fact one of your actual "conditions" of an agreement between you and the mods was that your sockpuppets wouldn't be identified. So your actions have contradicted what you're saying. If you want I can go get the list of sockpuppets you've had.

Here is a sample of your sockpuppets:
CHYOO Era:

TJChurch - cleansed; 61 threads with others' children; average thread rating: 1.4
TJChurch2001 - cleansed
TJZombie - cleansed
YnemE - cleansed
YmenE - cleansed
MistreatEd - cleansed
pipingcold - cleansed
iwashacked - cleansed
hackedagain - cleansed
robbiegilmore - cleansed
superconfused1 - cleansed
bostonlegal - cleansed
reltasdnalor - cleansed; one thread with another's child; average thread rating: 1.0
sheckystiller - cleansed; six threads with others' children; average thread rating: 1.5
fakeout001 - cleansed; five threads with others' children; average thread rating: 1.6
tnadnuder - cleansed; three threads with others' children; average thread rating: 1.2
senotsgnillor - cleansed
puenoekam - cleansed
unashamed - never activated; he admits it to be one of his own here.
rolandsatler - cleansed
tercesrepus - cleansed; 22 threads with others' children; average thread rating: 1.3
peterbarry3 - cleansed; two threads with others' children; average thread rating: 1.5
chimney2001 - cleansed; 41 threads either supplied for mixermix or bearing others' children; average thread rating: 1.2
ripples - cleansed; three threads supplied for mixermix; average thread rating: 1.0
corybranan - cleansed; five threads supplied for mixermix; average thread rating: 1.1
rawfishies - cleansed
rapellant - cleansed
wristbanned - cleansed
rithimman - cleansed
schlebmob - cleansed; six threads supplied for mixermix; average thread rating: 1.1
sariboutdiss - cleansed
templbridge - cleansed
sereusly - cleansed
harveyspecter - cleansed
chevchelios - cleansed; four threads supplied for mixermix; average thread rating: 1.0
californiaking - cleansed
cornhusker - cleansed; one thread with another's child; average thread rating: 1.0
sabrinalloyd - cleansed
johnrhysdavies - cleansed
quinnmallory - cleansed
cleavantderricks - cleansed
rembrandtbrown1 - cleansed; two threads supplied for mixermix; average thread rating: 1.0
rembrandtbrown - cleansed; one thread with another's child; average thread rating: 1.0
rickyricardo - cleansed; one thread with another's child; average thread rating: 1.6
joefrasier - cleansed
muhammadali - cleansed
carabeener - cleansed
arielcastro - cleansed; one thread with another's child; average thread rating: 1.0
invinoveritas - cleansed
marimorrow - cleansed
weswelker - cleansed
renihw - cleansed
emmawason - cleansed
yner - cleansed
steaksauce - cleansed
tonycrane - cleansed
kaitou1214 (not to be confused with Kaitou1412) - cleansed
beefncheddar - cleansed
normanrockwell - cleansed
siriuslee - cleansed
burtreynolds - cleansed
orlandomerced - cleansed
li0nkin8 - cleansed
amishwing - cleansed
ruleader1 - cleansed
ru1eader - cleansed
rippitydoo - forum only (for now at least)
hairingayd - cleansed
louisvul - cleansed
rikkirakkoon - cleansed
duzntma11a - cleansed
torgsaliar - cleansed
ka1toul1es - cleansed
duzntma11er - cleansed
jeperd1 - cleansed
bestofa11 - cleansed
damianwhyte - cleansed
wa1kh1m - cleansed
anarchy4a11 - cleansed
vel10s - cleansed
sp1ra1 - cleansed
sanchez999 - cleansed
va1n0 - cleansed
backnumber1 - cleansed
neimoudays - cleansed
Bobby16 - cleansed
4evernever - cleansed
kaydenfox - cleansed
Deckand - cleansed
NDpsysieve - cleansed
sexdayslepht - cleansed; one thread with another's child; average thread rating: 1.0
6deislepht - cleansed
6deslepht - cleansed
6dayzlepht - cleansed
5daysleft - cleansed
5daislepht - cleansed
4daysleft - cleansed
4dazeleft - cleansed
4dazelepht - cleansed
furstofnovember - cleansed
loveherl1ps - cleansed; five threads with another's children; average thread rating: 1.2
Scheherazodd - cleansed
Insurehouse - cleansed
Ensurehaus - cleansed
rolandsatler1 - cleansed
rollinsatler1 - cleansed
hettylange - cleansed
deaconclay1 - cleansed
bushgore - cleansed; one thread with another's child; average thread rating: 1.0
detucesorp - cleansed
warrenjeffs - cleansed
homefront` - cleansed
middler - cleansed; one thread with another's child; average thread rating: 1.0
z0r1anna - cleansed
ScottCatt - cleansed
bluesh1rt - cleansed
jeffslds - cleansed; one thread with another's child; average thread rating: 1.0
kenedyc1r - cleansed
all4114all - cleansed
b01eses0n - cleansed
alanf0ss - cleansed; one thread with another's child; average thread rating: 1.0
sp0ttedd1ck - cleansed
curt1sha8en - cleansed
10netw0rk - cleansed
acc1dent - cleansed
d00g1e - cleansed
s1ma11hew - cleansed
rache11urner - cleansed
newcomputer - cleansed
abacinate - cleansed
a1ger1n1ng - cleansed
dacty110n - cleansed
tr1k1ed0wn - cleansed
m0l1sh - cleansed; 2 threads with others' children; average thread rating: 1.0
j0hncorbe1t - cleansed
f1del1ty - cleansed
bu11yray - cleansed
Zanz1bar - cleansed
b1akeshe1t0n - cleansed
r1pwarr10r - cleansed
greyp0up0n - cleansed
sp1eth1 - cleansed

Overall Average Rating: 1.1
^This is where I got your really low average ratings.
Also the admin of the site said that during the life of that thread you made 118 accounts.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

TJ, you really should just admit you love us already because we're the only people that put up with you.

It's true.

 

[namazuros]

1] Nama, I agree to never call anyone that again if I can recall this later.

Much appreciated

Many repeatedly prove it in their own posts anyway.

Well, you lasted a sentence before the implied insult, so that's something I guess.

Also, I have never "bombed" sites with "sockpuppet" accounts (whatever those are).

I'm going to leave this for the people with evidence, since I haven't kept track of your shenanigans on literotica. But sockpuppet accounts are throwaway accounts made to spam or harass sites or users on those sites with things like negative ratings.

In addition, I would gladly agree to your contest, outside of the fact I doubt many writers would choose their own best work rather than give the reading public that ability, & regardless, any members here already have an obvious bias (again, the only reason I ever came here), so one can easily predict their decision before either of us submits anything.

Nice. And I think you underestimate the power of being a decent guy. If you didn't treat everyone so rudely I think you'd have a lot of friends, at least where this site is concerned. If you actually wrote or presented something really awesome, I believe you would get the accolades for it. Likewise, if I wrote something shitty, I'd get called on it.

That said, we could do it another way too. For example, both you and I could both submit a story to a site (say, Literotica for example) and see what the ratings and views say about our story's reception.

I'm leaving this entirely up to you. You can pick whatever rules you'd like, if you're willing to throw down.

 

[Hawker Hurricane]

Also, there is no "elephant in the room", because elephants are said to never forget

 

[KingofManga420]

Hey. Hey @Cowlick .

Bump.

 

[Mister Moo]

This has happened before. Good luck getting him to play.

Actually, TJ was the subject of my very first forum post! And I proposed something rather similar to @namazuros.

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/tjchurch.4234/page-49#post-352898

"So I was thinking- why don't we afford Dr. Church an opportunity to have his thread removed? A noble contest of will and intellect, ala the Liquid Chris Singstar Challenge! And the victor could decide the fate of this very thread. As for the contest itself, it could take a number of forms, but I've been thinking of a writing competition. TJ feels writing is a strength of his, and prose seems an excellent way for him to demonstrate his superior intellect."


If the contest ever did happen, I was going to suggest calling it, "The First Annual T: &/or J: Off!"

IIRC, he didn't want to do it, because he was certain that we'd stack the deck against him, and he'd have no chance of winning our rigged contest. You can dig through the thread if you want, but I wouldn't waste your time- TJ's rationales don't make much sense...

For the record, though, I'm still very much in favor of a prose-off...

 

[deductionotaku]

That said, we could do it another way too. For example, both you and I could both submit a story to a site (say, Literotica for example) and see what the ratings and views say about our story's reception.

I'm leaving this entirely up to you. You can pick whatever rules you'd like, if you're willing to throw down.

If you and TJ Church would rather keep it among Kiwi Farms (strongly recommended, LitErotica is not nice unless you appeal to a small group of specific fetishes per genre), you can both run them through another user of your choosing. This user will post both of them to this topic or create another topic and let the kiwis vote there. And to work for TJ Church, I'll add in six conditions, most of which heavily favor him:

1.) As stated, each story's author will be kept anonymous until the close of the voting. This ensures the kiwis cannot bring bias into this unless one you is so poor at language arts that it would take no time whatsoever for them to identify who wrote which piece.

2.) The identity of the author must be proven with a screenshot of the conversation post containing the story. This ensures the host cannot rig the outcome to ensure a specific user loses.

3.) The person who posts the stories cannot vote themselves. This ensures it cannot communicate the answer to anyone with how it votes.

4.) As an extension of the above point, Null will disable this user's ability to converse with players for the duration of the contest. This ensures they can receive the posts while preventing them from telling the answers where no one can see it.

5.) Null, namazuros, the host, or any combination thereof violating of any of these conditions results in an automatic victory for TJ Church.

6.) TJ Church violating any of these conditions results in an automatic victory for namazuros.

Suitable?

However, I will point out that TJ Church's unwillingness to present terms that would nullify his concerns is suspicious. Someone who genuinely believes it would be praised if not for the bias against it would work to generate a situation where this bias could not be used against it. The fact that he went for a flat refusal with this as the reason and suggested nothing to circumvent this reasoning would suggest this is a mere excuse, that he believes he wouldn't win even if it were a level playing field. On top of that, as I pointed out before, TJ Church has a tendency to change the rules and renege after things get underway. I strongly recommend against this course of action, but I won't stop your pursuit if you keep pressing on.

 

[Cowlick]

1] "...point it out the root..."? Is there a preposition missing, or I am I wrong about what kind of mistake this is? You've made so many until recently, it's hard to be sure what mistake is being made.

2] "Many people have said...". Well, that guarantees they're right? No. Considering the people you are referring to, it's perhaps more likely that it proves the opposite.

3] A sockpuppet is something my relatives might use to entertain their young children, whereas a "cite" is a verb, which in this case means it's not something I'm on, but it is one of your many mistakes. Thank you, as I had noticed them becoming somewhat rare.

 

[TM Ambrose]

If you and TJ Church would rather keep it among Kiwi Farms (strongly recommended, LitErotica is not nice unless you appeal to a small group of specific fetishes per genre), you can both run them through another user of your choosing. This user will post both of them to this topic or create another topic and let the kiwis vote there. And to work for TJ Church, I'll add in six conditions, most of which heavily favor him:

1.) As stated, each story's author will be kept anonymous until the close of the voting. This ensures the kiwis cannot bring bias into this unless one you is so poor at language arts that it would take no time whatsoever for them to identify who wrote which piece.

2.) The identity of the author must be proven with a screenshot of the conversation post containing the story. This ensures the host cannot rig the outcome to ensure a specific user loses.

3.) The person who posts the stories cannot vote themselves. This ensures it cannot communicate the answer to anyone with how it votes.

4.) As an extension of the above point, Null will disable this user's ability to converse with players for the duration of the contest. This ensures they can receive the posts while preventing them from telling the answers where no one can see it.

5.) Null, namazuros, the host, or any combination thereof violating of any of these conditions results in an automatic victory for TJ Church.

6.) TJ Church violating any of these conditions results in an automatic victory for namazuros.

Suitable?

However, I will point out that TJ Church's unwillingness to present terms that would nullify his concerns is suspicious. Someone who genuinely believes it would be praised if not for the bias against it would work to generate a situation where this bias could not be used against it. The fact that he went for a flat refusal with this as the reason and suggested nothing to circumvent this reasoning would suggest this is a mere excuse, that he believes he wouldn't win even if it were a level playing field. On top of that, as I pointed out before, TJ Church has a tendency to change the rules and renege after things get underway. I strongly recommend against this course of action, but I won't stop your pursuit if you keep pressing on.

So what you're suggesting is basically a double blind. We can add in a stipulation that prevents any changing of the rules.

3] A sockpuppet is something my relatives might use to entertain their young children, whereas a "cite" is a verb, which in this case means it's not something I'm on, but it is one of your many mistakes. Thank you, as I had noticed them becoming somewhat rare.

TJ doesn't understand that some words have multiple meanings, specifically in the area of slang. More evidence TJ doesn't get colloquialisms. Also the only one who said cite on this page is you. The word that is written is site. As in website. So yes TJ, you have made many sockpuppets and you have bombed sites with them. Learn figurative language, it will help your writing. Nice attempt at trying to circumvent the argument by saying the language was incorrect. Once again you prove how retarded you actually are.

Also the first thing you said was a mistake on my part (It's rather late and I've slept about 4 hours in the last day or so. I'm also in the process of writing notes for one of my classes which are written in incomplete sentences mostly so I can get straight to the point). I'm still a better writer than you. Also when I said many people I also mentioned some are published. So yes, experts in the subject of writing who are paid writers are more likely to be better at writing than you and more likely better at making judgments on the English language.

 

[Yog-Spergoth]

1] "...point it out the root..."? Is there a preposition missing, or I am I wrong about what kind of mistake this is? You've made so many until recently, it's hard to be sure what mistake is being made.

2] "Many people have said...". Well, that guarantees they're right? No. Considering the people you are referring to, it's perhaps more likely that it proves the opposite.

3] A sockpuppet is something my relatives might use to entertain their young children, whereas a "cite" is a verb, which in this case means it's not something I'm on, but it is one of your many mistakes. Thank you, as I had noticed them becoming somewhat rare.

I can't help but notice you completely ignored the very suitable, very reasonable contest terms presented by some of the members here. May I ask why that is?

 

[Danger]

TJ what I like about you is in the 5 or so months you've been here. You haven't changed or learned anything at all, in the slightest. Its comforting somehow knowing no matter what life throws at us TJ will always be right here, demanding this thread be taken down.