Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

If we must discuss the Ashoka-show, I'm gonna focus on the missed opportunities.

Like, why not recanonize An'ya Kuro, the Dark Woman? She's a legit example of a badass, wise character who happens to be a woman. She also has objective flaws: two of her named padawans fell from grace because of her harsh methods.

Speaking about her padawans, the lack of A'Sharad Hett (AKA Darth Krayt) in the show is criminal. He's has, arguably, the most character progression, from no-named raider to Jedi to the Dark Lord of the One Sith, out of any character in the EU.

But, hey, Filoni wanted to highlight his waifu-bait. We can't have anything like that.
 
When I heard the show was supposed to go eight full seasons, I did some basic math. With what is a three-year span between Episodes II & III, 8 seasons would average out to 4.5 months or approximately 135 days. Assuming 22 episodes each season results in just over 6 days of galaxy time per episode on average.

With that in mind, it's no wonder the show felt both repetitive and drawn out with each subsequent season. To borrow an old trope, the show definitely jumped the shark and subsequent releases (The Lost Missions and these new Disney+ episodes) do nothing to change that perception 🦈.
(E: Clarity)
"It worked for M*A*S*H" (1972 to 1983) is the line of thinking governing most TV productions and Clone Wars is Star Wars entry into the TV zombie franchise land.
 
This is a Tumblr post right? No sane company would ever try to combine Star Wars and Steven Universe into one.
This was from Vader: Dark Visions, and ironically enough, it pissed off the Tumblrinas big time. Because the nurse in question becomes utterly obsessed with Vader -- despite her CO frantically trying to keep her away from him, probably because he's had to process quite a few force-choked flag officers and doesn't want to lose her.

And so, to no one's surprise, when the wacky bitch breaks into Vader's private quarters to declare her undying devotion, she promptly gets sabered and Vader calls for sanitation to come clean up the trash.

It was pretty fucking lulzy, because people were freaking out over how casually Vader killed her and called for cleanup. Why, it's like Darth Vader is a bad guy!
 
This was from Vader: Dark Visions, and ironically enough, it pissed off the Tumblrinas big time. Because the nurse in question becomes utterly obsessed with Vader -- despite her CO frantically trying to keep her away from him, probably because he's had to process quite a few force-choked flag officers and doesn't want to lose her.

And so, to no one's surprise, when the wacky bitch breaks into Vader's private quarters to declare her undying devotion, she promptly gets sabered and Vader calls for sanitation to come clean up the trash.

It was pretty fucking lulzy, because people were freaking out over how casually Vader killed her and called for cleanup. Why, it's like Darth Vader is a bad guy!

If I remember this right, the story idea was Chuck Wendig's and he wanted the stalker to be a male and the story to be some commentary on "toxic masculinity," but then he got fired by Disney and they hastily changed it to a crazy fangirl.
 
This was from Vader: Dark Visions, and ironically enough, it pissed off the Tumblrinas big time. Because the nurse in question becomes utterly obsessed with Vader -- despite her CO frantically trying to keep her away from him, probably because he's had to process quite a few force-choked flag officers and doesn't want to lose her.

And so, to no one's surprise, when the wacky bitch breaks into Vader's private quarters to declare her undying devotion, she promptly gets sabered and Vader calls for sanitation to come clean up the trash.

It was pretty fucking lulzy, because people were freaking out over how casually Vader killed her and called for cleanup. Why, it's like Darth Vader is a bad guy!
Probably hit too close to home for the Reylos that absolutely obsess over Kylo Ren/Adam Driver.
 
Obligatory: https://old.vocaroo.com/i/s10NhdgPYfYY

Just airbrush the stupid tank treads out and you've got a heavily-armored speeder. Man, that was easy.

speederbike edit.png
 
See, THAT looks nice. Grungy, used. Add a bit of grime to it and it'd fit right into the OT. hell, keep it like this and using it to launch troopers could even be accepted... if it is JUST these two.

A scout team, no more than two men, with one having the ability to go aeriel on a jetpack. Good,'solid' sci-fi reasoning on a bike with a neat design.

This is what irks me with so much of the NT, it gets THIS close to being something good but then just... fucks it up.
 
Having the jet-troopers jump out of a dropship or two that deployed straight from orbit to act like police choppers with turbolasers for fire support during the chase would have have probably worked far better than a pack of troopers riding babby's first combination treaded motorcylce/hoverbike

Just have a star destroyer do a risky jump right into orbit around not-arrakis and start spitting out fighters and other craft. The enemy having total areospace supremacy and knowing your exact location upon the now blockaded world is far more terrifying than "they fly now"

Shit you could turn that scenario into a reason to introduce Ackbar's nephew to save the day.
 
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Just have a star destroyer do a risky jump right into orbit around not-arrakis and start spitting out fighters and other craft. The enemy having total areospace supremacy and knowing your exact location upon the now blockaded world is far more terrifying than "they fly now"
They really have no idea how to do sci-fi ideas anymore.
 
So I was thinking about tracked vehicles vs walkers and then realize that the empire should have used hover landships instead of AT-ATs. Better armor, better armament, better AA secondary weaponry, no knees. Maybe mix in a few hovering escort carriers with short range fighters to defend against shit like snowspeeders. Maybe some full blown fleet hovercarriers whose strike wings have insane range and payload capacity depending on how much atmosphere they have to work with for lift or how much of it they have to work through from drag
 
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So I was thinking about tracked vehicles vs walkers and then realize that the empire should have used hover landships instead of AT-ATs. Better armor, better armament, better AA secondary weaponry, no knees. Maybe mix in a few hovering escort carriers with short range fighters to defend against shit like snowspeeders. Maybe some full blown fleet hovercarriers whose strike wings have insane range and payload capacity depending on how much atmosphere they have to work with for lift or how much of it they have to work through from drag

My dad always explained it by saying that the 4-legged walkers were the way they were because it was the most economical and efficient way to do what the Empire wanted to do with them. Looking it up, existing canon (read: not Disney Wars) says this is the case, as the AT-AT is basically an Infantry Fighting Vehicle. When it's fully packed up, it's relatively easy to put onto a Dropship and bring right where it's needed, deploy it quick, and since every Star Destroyer carries at least a few in the event of necessity, it kind of makes sense.

But why walkers? Well, from a theatre of war perspective, Imperial ground troops need to be able to operate in every terrestrial environment. Every kind of world, every kind of battlefield. High-G and Low-G. Sand, Rock, Swampland. Back during the early days of the war (and during the Old Republic's time), there were mostly repulsor (anti-grav) vehicles and wheeled or tracked vehicles, which at the scale that the Empire needed to operate on, was kind of a technical and logistics nightmare.

Existing canon indicated that repulsor vehicles like speeders have a lot of trouble with unstable terrain like sand or water, have problems in temperature extremes (even in Empire the rebels complain about their speeders having trouble with the cold of Hoth), need to be completely re-adjusted for variant gravity, and are absolutely infamous for having trouble in rough terrain (which is why the only repulsor vehicles you saw on Endor were Speeder Bikes). Walkers were the easy way around all these problems; there was no recalibration needed for variant gravity, there's little that needs to be worried about regarding temperature extremes, they can handle swampy, desert, rocky, or rough terrain with ease, and they do everything else you'd want an IFV to do.
 
I mean ffs Rey becomes the Force Avatar and ends up having all jedi ever living inside her now and mastering all the Force elements.
Maybe I just overlooked it in the newer leaks, but I think they ditched that part. Rey will now just get moral support and then defeat Palpy by using Force-"I'm rubber you are glue"-abilities.

I haven't seen any TV spots for episode IX. Strangely I have been seeing a new commercial for Galaxy's Edge playing the last few days. Vi Moradi has a few lines in it, which is exceptional because who even knows who she is? Using Kelly Marie Tran would make more sense.

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Also wookie-spedia claims this chick's eyecolor is "gold" :story:
Something about that character and that actress rubs me the wrong way. When I see her face, I can't help but feel annoyed.

Legged vehicles are better over rough terrain than tracked ones.
Depends on what you might call "better" and what you define as "rough terrain". Sure, a legged vehicle can traverse over certain features such as rocks, fallen trees, chasms and so on a bit more easily than a tracked vehicle, but it comes with its own issues:
Due to the relatively small contact area with the ground, weight becomes an issue pretty much instantly, also the speed of a legged vehicle is absolutely atrocious.

They just require more advanced controls since they have to be balanced. But that is why you've seen development into things like the Timberjack and why Big dog/little dog aren't wheeled or tracked
Timberjack is in some part meant to traverse terrain not suitable for wheeled vehicles and if memory serves me correctly, it was also meant to disturb the ground less than wheels or tracks. Smaller variants like Big Dog are meant to be mechanized pack-mules to carry equippement and maybe some firepower, sure. But the field in which they are used is very specific in that role.

If you are the imperial marines of the pan-galactic empire fighting on who the fuck knows what sort of surface, you want to make sure your armor is able to move and manuever.

Legged armor doesn't need roads, don't have to maneuver around ridges or trenches if it can step over them, and you have elevation.
That, precisely, is the issue with legged vehicles. You simply can't make them carry much load, or else their mobility goes to shit, defeating the entire purpose of using legs anyway.
Two words: Ground pressure.
A tracked vehicle can weigh 70 tons and still exert less pressure by square inch on the ground than a human foot. A legged vehicle of the same mass would need very solid surfaces to walk on, even concrete would be a problem. This means a tracked vehicle will be able to drive over soft mud, maybe even through swampy marshes, and still be alright, a legged vehicle will just sink into the gunk and be stuck instantly.
When you want to carry heavy armament and armor on a land-based vehicle, you need tracks, they distribute the weight much better.
This is why you will never see legged vehicles replacing MBTs, they simply, purely suck at it. They'd carry smaller arms, less armor and be slower.
When you need firepower and endurance, you take a heavy tracked vehicle.
When you need mobility and firepower, you use helicopters. There is no need to built a complex, slow, cumbersome machine to slowly walk past a pile of rocks when you can just fire up an attack helicopter and breeze past that obstacle within the fraction of a second. You can also just hover over an area or fly close to the ground...

Which brings me to my next point: I never argued in favor of the Empire using tracked vehicles in lieu of legged ones (well, I sorta do in this post indirectly), I was talking about hovering ones vs. legged ones. Basically, it's the debate between legged combat vehicle and helicopters. Sure, a legged vehicle can do things a helicopter can't, but the same is true the other way around and a helicopter is more versatile and faster, making it a far superior choice, even if it can't squeeze past trees in a forest without smashing its rotor blades into one.
But here's the knacker: We're talking Star Wars, so building a repulsor-based vehicle that just floats between the trees (without a huge rotor above it, limiting it's mobility in tight spots), and it's not hard to see what the better choice is.


Walkers were the easy way around all these problems; there was no recalibration needed for variant gravity, there's little that needs to be worried about regarding temperature extremes, they can handle swampy, desert, rocky, or rough terrain with ease, and they do everything else you'd want an IFV to do.
It's an interesting idea to contemplate the effects of different gravities on the vehicle, I guess legs might make sense - though I wonder why in, say, a 2G environment, repulsor crafts wouldn't just work either, they'd have to throttle up their repulsor engines, but they should be alright and anything above 2G is going to be a bitch to deal with purely since your soldiers will slowly stop being able to move.
In such an environment, tracks would be superior, too, btw. Especially when you look at the distance one step of an AT-AT covers. I just don't see them stepping over wide obstacles or lift those legs particularly high to step over something. Tracked vehicles would fare a lot better, still, in such a case. And their speed would be higher as well.

Be that as it may, the AT-ATs are a "rule of cool" thing. They don't make much sense when you think about it, but they look badass and them having legs is important for the scene where snowspeeders make them trip using wires, that's a fucking awesome battle with cool machines, so the machines not making that much sense is not important.

The problem with the Track Speeders is that the issues of mobility are much more obvious, that it's just a "20% different" design of a superior old vehicle and that the scene (at least in the trailer) doesn't look particularly cool. It looks silly. That whole "catapulting troopers into the air" is utterly idiotic and makes no goddamned sense. I'm eager to find out in the movie what kind of crafts the protagonists are using. If they are some pleasure ride skiff from one of the Burning Man Muslims, I'm gonna laugh my ass off. Would highlight how shitty that design of the tracked speeders is, if they get outrun by some random skiff.

That's why AT-ATs are awesome and track-speeders aren't, even though both make little sense.
 
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Also here is the first complete view of the new moronic treadspeeders.
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Reminder that these things are mainly designed to be catapults that launch nu-jet troopers into the air. That's the only reason its rear end hovers instead of being a full on land vehicle. Any vehicle or scifi vehicle spergs in this thread who might be interested in reviewing this thing?
I've said my piece on making it hover and turning the tread into a chainsaw piece for disabling vehicles before. One of the things about the original speeder bikes is that their design reeks of speed, acceleration and not so great turning circles. I think this is due to being based off of "chopper" style motorcycles (although i can't confirm it). This tread design looks slow and clunky, at best i could say it looks armored, which is a joke when the rider is so exposed. The catapult system is also fucking stupid, a better shot would have had storm troopers nonchalantly stepping or rolling off a high speed vehicle into a dust cloud and a few seconds later come screaming by the vehicle they just left. OT SW takes shots from war movies, well consider this a 2 foot air drop, with sci-fi squirrel suits. The shopped version on the previous page looks way better, it's not "chopper-y" but fits into the crotch rocket style of motorcycles.

Somebody posted a panel from a comic book where Rose Tico uses a speeder and i can't remember if i posted my thoughts on it. To me it shows how the people running the show don't get it, at all. The continuity between the first and second panel confuses my brain until it realizes the direction it's supposed to be pointing and the second panel makes the thing look like a vespa scooter. While it might be a feasible transport mode in SW world building, you don't show it. For example scooters exist, but you don't add them into the fast and the furious franchise, unless making a 60sec joke. You want cool, sexy, and awesome not yawn inducing styles.
 
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