Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

JongleJingle said:
- Make an entirely new, unique and threatening force to contend with as the new antagonist. Think the Yuuzhan Vong but good and actually logical and not dumb. Don't make it 40K tier threatening and scary, just something that could recognizably come from Star Wars. Maybe put it in the unexplored regions of space; all kinds of weird shit lives there.
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I don't think the Vong were any more illogical than anything else about the SW universe. I mean, you probably couldn't put some of the shit they got up to on a movie screen without a hard R-rating, but their Aztecs-meet-Muslims culture and Cenobites-meets Cobra-La aesthetic really helped establish them as something far more compelling and threatening than just another gaggle of Empire cosplayers.
 
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Judge Holden said:
Now that the end has come....allow me to remind yall how I first reacted when I heard disney was taking over and wiping out the old EU
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fucking kill me....
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You deserved this....

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So I've been lurking in this thread for a while. Now that I can't see it unless I'm logged in, I figured it was finally time to create an account.

I just wanted to say that I've been a huge Star Wars fan practically all my life and everything that's been happening to it under Disney really pisses me off. I never in a million years thought there would be a time where I just didn't care about Star Wars anymore, but I've reached that point. When I first saw The Last Jedi, I really didn't know what to think. I had to try and convince myself that I liked it, because it's Star Wars and I have to like it, right? Well I guess that worked for a little while but eventually I watched the movie again and I realized just how much I hated it.

Seeing people defend the train wreck that is The Last Jedi just pisses me off even more. I have friends who are huge Star Wars nerds and they do nothing but praise Disney and talk about how much of a masterpiece The Last Jedi and the rest of the sequel trilogy is. Sometimes I just want to slap them and ask how can they not see what a huge clusterfuck the whole franchise has become. Maybe once they see The Rise of Skywalker (and I know they'll be there on opening night) they'll finally come to their senses.

As far as I'm concerned, Return of the Jedi is the true ending of the saga. Everything past that is just glorified fan fiction.
 
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Cyril Sneer said:
I don't think the Vong were any more illogical than anything else about the SW universe. I mean, you probably couldn't put some of the shit they got up to on a movie screen without a hard R-rating, but their Aztecs-meet-Muslims culture and Cenobites-meets Cobra-La aesthetic really helped establish them as something far more compelling and threatening than just another gaggle of Empire cosplayers.
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No, it read like some idiot's 40k/SW crossover
 
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TheMysteriousAHole said:
Don't you know? Most black people are related! Especially in space. That's why they always say 'my brother or my sister!' Mace Windu was clearly like... a distant cousin of Lando.

...Please don't do this, Lucasfilms.

Fuck it. I'm going to cleanse this away by reading like Young Jedi Knights or Galaxy of Fear. The day when I look forward to Kevin J. Anderson is to be a day long remembered.
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Its not just the "all blacks are related" part, though that is fucking stupid for a thousand different reasons sure...its "the first order randomly decided to track down and kidnap the kids of rebellion figureheads from all over the galaxy in presumably high security locations and have them become low ranking anonymous stormtroopers and none of the heros did anything about it or even mentioned it for thirty fucking years" plotline that is breaking my mind.

Like this is just the dumbest fucking concept to be introduced into the franchise, beyond midichlorians or fucking fart fetish weddings or gay porkins LGBT vacation, because of how utterly fucking retarded it requires literally everyone in the galaxy for this to happen.

Its trying to justify a cosmically dumb idea, by using an idea exponentially worse and more moronic to explain it.....fucking hell this is literally the worst Voodoo Shark example I think i have ever seen
 
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Shield Breaker said:
No, it read like some idiot's 40k/SW crossover
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No, it read like a galaxy-level war where there were real stakes and people actually died.

Wedge met her gaze, then looked at the others. "I think that we're right at the edge of annihilation. Not just the government. Our entire culture, our history. If the Yuuzhan Vong Win, they won't necessarily wipe us out...but they'll ingest us. digest us. We'll become the Yuuzhan Vong, and everything we stood for, everything we aspired to, will vanish. It would be as if we were a hologram and the power was suddenly cut off. Gone without a trace." His voice hoarsened. "I'm not going to let that happen to my daughters, or to your children."

-Aaron Allston, Rebel Dream

(plus, you can't beat the cool factor of X-Wings and TIE Fighters flying together against a common enemy).
 
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Judge Holden said:
So...the story starts with palpatine literally just shouting "IM BACK BITCHES!"
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is the broadcast followed by Palps using Sith Magic to broadcast "back in black" to the entire Galaxy?

Edit : Do you know what? I would legit rate the movie 10/10 if they went there.

Kylo surrounded by the First Order, with the Knights of Ren, bitching at Palps about how he is old, broken and can't even walk..and Palps responds "Oh? I can't walk can I?"

*Back in Black starts playing, Palps stands up and we get a 5 minute action scene of him Yeeting all of The First Order*
 
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Judge Holden said:
Its not just the "all blacks are related" part, though that is fucking stupid for a thousand different reasons sure...its "the first order randomly decided to track down and kidnap the kids of rebellion figureheads from all over the galaxy in presumably high security locations and have them become low ranking anonymous stormtroopers and none of the heros did anything about it or even mentioned it for thirty fucking years" plotline that is breaking my mind.

Like this is just the dumbest fucking concept to be introduced into the franchise, beyond midichlorians or fucking fart fetish weddings or gay porkins LGBT vacation, because of how utterly fucking retarded it requires literally everyone in the galaxy for this to happen.

Its trying to justify a cosmically dumb idea, by using an idea exponentially worse and more moronic to explain it.....fucking hell this is literally the worst Voodoo Shark example I think i have ever seen
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Like I said before, you really got to work hard to fuck up on this scale. In some horrific way, it's a bit impressive. These people clearly are completely out of touch and are incapable of understanding anything that would create a good film. Even Rogue One, IMHO, was a fluke and frankly I thought it was average at best.

Cyril Sneer said:
No, it read like a galaxy-level war where there were real stakes and people actually died.

Wedge met her gaze, then looked at the others. "I think that we're right at the edge of annihilation. Not just the government. Our entire culture, our history. If the Yuuzhan Vong Win, they won't necessarily wipe us out...but they'll ingest us. digest us. We'll become the Yuuzhan Vong, and everything we stood for, everything we aspired to, will vanish. It would be as if we were a hologram and the power was suddenly cut off. Gone without a trace." His voice hoarsened. "I'm not going to let that happen to my daughters, or to your children."

-Aaron Allston, Rebel Dream

(plus, you can't beat the cool factor of X-Wings and TIE Fighters flying together against a common enemy).
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Fuck it, I know the Vong isn't liked here... but I largely liked the New Jedi Order series. But not without issues of my own. Sometimes they went too far and made decisions that I felt was stupid. But in some strange alternate universe where I was given the power to reboot the EU, I probably would have had the cut-off point at the Hand of Thrawn duology.
 
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Alto said:
So basically Palpy just goes AYYYY LMAO and that kicks off the plot.
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...yeah.....either it happens just before the movie begins in the opening crawl or immidiately after said crawl in like the first 30 seconds of the movie

I...actually laughed until my eyes started watering when I read this and realised what it meant..not even kidding I laughed like a fucking lunatic...like I am watching the meteorite descend towards me and there is nothing i can do to save myself
 
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